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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23346217">Who knew</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Altavista/pseuds/Altavista'>Altavista</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Eminem (Musician), Real Person Fiction, The Real Slim Shady - Eminem (Song), marshall mathers - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drama &amp; Romance, F/M, Hip Hop, Love/Hate, Original Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 09:08:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>137,695</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23346217</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Altavista/pseuds/Altavista</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's 2009. Marshall Mathers has just put out "Relapse" after a big break in his career. His manager, Paul Rosenberg, thinks that it would be a nice promotion for Marshall to have a series of articles written about his everyday life. For that Paul reaches out to a new but popular musical magazine in Detroit.</p><p>By good fortune, the main character of our story, Ella, works as a journalist in that magazine. Ella is chosen to be the one who'll write the articles and spend the whole month following Eminem's life.</p><p>The only thing is that from the first day the things between Ella and Marshall doesn't go really well. But perhaps, something may change?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eminem/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>116</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>137</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Morning coffee and unexpected news</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>'Black coffee and no sugar, please' I told the woman behind the coffee shop counter and she glanced at me with astonished eyes as if I was some crazy person.</p><p>The woman's head nodded at the menu hanging on the wall filled with probably millions of tastes and varieties of coffee drinks giving me one more chance to change the decision.</p><p>'No, just black coffee, please' I repeated a bit irritatingly this time and the woman took it as a sign that the negotiations wouldn't continue and started making my coffee. That was all I wanted that moment.</p><p>She was one of those coffee shop workers who took a simple order as an insult admiring her job too much to deal with someone as boring as me. I could see her judging me from the corner of my eye but that day I wasn't in a mood to be concerned about that.</p><p>The night before wasn't that great. I mean, it's pretty hard to call any night great when in the morning you wake up with a horrible headache unless it was a party or a celebration. As you've probably already guessed, I wasn't so lucky to have any of that at night but couldn't avoid the morning consequences which wasn't fair.</p><p>I'd been working intensely on one of the articles for the next issue of the musical magazine I worked for and that required lots of time and eliminated any sleep. The work was almost over but the week had only started and that morning I needed a good cup of coffee to get going through it.</p><p>'Here it is' the woman said carelessly handing me a big cup of hot black coffee. I mumbled a quiet "thank you" and gave her the money trying to escape as fast as it was possible.</p><p>I guess, I really offended her. As I unpardonably disregarded the impressive range of assortment that coffee industry has developed through the years of its existence. Because her eyes were scanning me all the way to the exit and only when I came outside I could feel a desired relief. Making a big sip and closing my eyes in pleasure I smiled unwittingly and shook my head at such a strange start of the day.</p><p>The Detroit city was already living its life. The streets were crowded and the roads were full of cars which from the long proximity looked like small fast bugs to me. So I stood for a couple of minutes watching lots of them disappearing on the morning horizon and being replaced with others. The people walking by were just a random distraction that I had no urge to succumb to. All of that in an image of the city morning had nothing to do with my state of mind and that was why I liked it.</p><p>Walking down the street to the editorial office of "Wave", the musical magazine I was working in, I was sipping my coffee and thinking intensely. That day I had some meetings and interviews planned so that was going to be a pretty hard day. Or at least, that was what it seemed to be.</p><p>Working as a journalist was something I always dreamt of and even though I was rarely free and had lots of things to do, I liked my job. That's pretty much why I decided to work for "Wave" 4 years ago. It was a relatively new Detroit musical magazine which had been popular for a while and had some good authority in the industry. I hoped it would grow even bigger with time and I was turning down all the invitations for a job from other publications. Hopefully, not in vain.</p><p>'God, Ella, where have you been? Jeff has been looking for you all morning!' was the first thing I heard when I entered the office and almost spilled my coffee on the floor. That was the effect which Melanie's high and a bit squeaky voice had on me as I wasn't expecting to be greeted like that. Thank God the coffee was fine.</p><p>'I'm here, calm down, Melanie' I answered still a bit numb after the first minute. Melanie was a secretary in our office and I didn't like her that much. Probably, because sometimes she reminded me of a little annoying child thanks to her voice and the way she was talking. It was also worth noticing that as if on purpose her face features and usual behavior were nothing but baby-like. 'What is it all about?'</p><p>'I would recommend you to hurry up in Jeff's office 'cause I heard that we got some serious deal and all office's been going crazy because of that since morning!' she mumbled all of that with some kind of supersonic speed looking at me with her childish eyes wide open as if I was a ghost or some other paranormal creature.</p><p>'Ok, ok, I'm going' I told her raising my hands in a defence because my headache came back all of a sudden blaming Melanie's high-pitched voice. She didn't have a chance to answer because I took my coffee and headed to Jeff's office.</p><p>Jeff Wade was the main editor in our publishing but we simply called him "Jeff". He was about fifty year old man with a kind heart but a rather difficult character which sometimes leaded to him having some bursts of anger. It was a pretty harmless situation every time but everybody in the office knew that it was better to obey. Eventually, he was the reason that "Wave" had become so popular so I had nothing but respect for him.</p><p>Jeff also was the one who gave me the job when I was really desperate for it. We had developed some father-daughter relationship since then and I could even say that we were close. He was the one who believed in me when I needed it the most and I definitely owed him for this.</p><p>'May I come in?' I knocked at the door carefully opening it and letting my head in the room just a bit. Straight away I saw Jeff's figure leaning on the table and carefully inspecting some papers on it.</p><p>'Will you just once say that before you open the door?' he greeted me with a strict voice not raising his head. I knew that state of Jeff's too well so I smiled a little and came in.</p><p>'I'm sorry but you should've seen that coming' I said softly trying to coax him with a little tease. I immediately saw Jeff hiding a smile but not raising his glance to me.</p><p>'I was looking for you all morning and today you are late. What do I pay you for?' he asked me using his severe tone at me again but I wasn't fooled by it. The papers on the Jeff's table were in a mess and I decided to sit in the chair in front of it to look closer. Nah, nothing exciting.</p><p>'Well, I had a pretty good reason for that. I finished the articles you asked me about but spent almost all night on it'.</p><p>'I know, I read them today on my e-mail and that is the only reason I don't fire you today' he finally smiled widely and his soft green eyes looked at me with a warm welcome. That was a usual habit of Jeff's to act what he called "professionally" and then giving it up after a minute.</p><p>'You liked it, right?' I smiled back at him.</p><p>'Hell yes and I would like to discuss that but today we have something more important to talk about, Ella' Jeff told me sitting in his chair in the same way as me. I felt my smile fading a bit. I knew that when he called me by name things were serious.</p><p>'Yeah, I saw Melanie being all flustered. What happened?' I was kind of confused by the situation and sipping the last drops of my coffee.</p><p>'Well, we got a huge deal this time' Jeff looked at me in an excited but somehow nervous way and I wasn't sure how to feel about that. 'This is a big opportunity for "Wave". Probably, the biggest possible'.</p><p>'Well... Okay?' I answered raising my brow still not knowing what to expect. I was praying in my mind for Jeff to stop torturing me with waiting.</p><p>'Sorry, I still can't process it' he laughed a bit to relieve the tension. 'Paul Rosenberg reached out to me this morning and said that he would like "Wave" to make a series of articles about Eminem and his life. Can you imagine?' I think that was the moment when I swallowed something really disturbing in my throat in a silent relief. Something similar to congratulation was forming in my mind but the headache was making it harder to process everything.</p><p>'That's cool, Jeff. "Wave" deserves an opportunity like that' I  told him smiling calmly but feeling a bit strange about that morning and finally finishing my coffee. 'I'm sure that Trevor will die from excitement before even starting this project. Have you already told him?'</p><p>Trevor was a great guy who'd worked in "Wave" and specialized on hip hop music projects. Pretty much all of the articles about rap and hip hop artists were written by him and that wasn't just a fact. Trevor was a crazy fan and a bit of a nerd in his sphere which made him one of the most valuable journalists in the publishing. I personally liked to joke around with Trevor and preferred him as a lunch buddy at work but the rumors were that Trevor was head over heels with me. I never believed it, though.</p><p>'Well...' Jeff started stumblingly and I raised one of my eyebrows immediately suspecting something. 'You see, here comes an important part. I called Trevor today and told him everything. He was very eager about it at first but then upset. Unfortunately, he told me that he broke his right leg yesterday... And it basically means that even though he can write, he won't be able to follow Eminem's life for a month and we have to find him a substitute for this project' Jeff's expression was uneasy when he was talking and I didn't really like where all of it was leading.</p><p>I was sorry for Trevor because I knew how much it meant to him and losing such an interesting experience was horrible. However, I felt that for me the most surprising news was just waiting around the corner.</p><p>'That's fucked up' I pronounced bluntly. Normally Jeff would tell me off for cursing but I guess, at that moment he was concentrated on something else. 'What are we going to do?'</p><p>'That's why I was searching for you all morning' he sighed heavily and the green eyes of his looked straight into mine. Oh no. 'I want you to go for this project, Ella'.</p><p>'Me?' I had to admit that during the conversation I had some thoughts like that in the back of my mind. But when I heard Jeff saying it aloud I still found myself a little lost.</p><p>'Yes, kid, I need you on it. We can't lose a deal like that' his expression wasn't boss-like in that office atmosphere because I knew him well and so did he. That's why Jeff's words weren't orders. It was a request.</p><p>'I know but do I look like a person who can write about hip hop?' I dared to say even though he was way too nice to me. I just had that controversial feeling inside me that I didn't want to work on that project. 'My last big work was about Arctic Monkeys. Sounds like a bit different genre, don't you think?'</p><p>'Why every time when I'm trying to ask you nicely you always don't want to agree?' Jeff sighed frustrated with my a bit sarcastic reply. I guess, I should have been more careful with that but somehow life refused to teach me lessons. Or did I refuse to learn them? 'We have nobody with such experience as you so if you don't know anything about hip hop, then you'll find out everything in a process'.</p><p>'But I don't know anything about Eminem either' I was still trying to resist even though deep inside me I already knew that it was useless. For some reason, I had no eagerness to work on that. 'Heard something but not much'.</p><p>'Listen' I felt Leff's patience leaving him with another sigh. 'I don't care. Like it or not, you are the one responsible for the articles. You have to go tomorrow at 9 o'clock in the morning to Eminem's studio and sort out all the details of the deal...'</p><p>'But...' I interrupted him shamelessly. What? Tomorrow? Eminem's studio? You're got to be kidding me!</p><p>'No "but"!' Jeff continued almost angrily. 'I already promised Paul that. And this is in your greatest interest to appear there tomorrow. Now please, excuse me, the discussion is over' he finished talking destroying all my hopes to keep arguing. He picked some papers from the table and started reading them ignoring my presence and I knew that it was a big sign for me to leave. Great.</p><p>'Okay' I said simply feeling myself like a resentful child and getting up from my spot. I could see Jeff still watching me from the papers and decided not say anything else.</p><p>One more moment and I was closing the door of Jeff's office and sighing tired. That was the turn of the plot that I was least expecting to see. But nothing could be done about it. Oh, Trevor, why did you break your leg so amiss?</p><p>'What is with this pretty face of yours? You look like someone slapped you in it' I heard a voice talking to me again when I finally sat down at my desk.</p><p>I had a feeling that that day everybody in the publishing participated in some stupid contest where they were competing to greet me in the worst way possible. I had to admit that the reward was taken but no one but this joker.</p><p>'Yeah, thanks a lot for your kind words, Diana' I answered with some venom sliding off my tongue and turning around to see a pair of light brown eyes of my friend and colleague Diana laughing at me in a friendly manner.</p><p>She was one of those girls who you don't really like at a first sight. Diana was a great example of a fabulous woman with an attitude which made her look a bit bitchy at first sight. But when you got a chance to study her under the cover you would find a kind-hearted person with a strong faith in people and a great fighter. Not only mental but physical one as well.</p><p>'What?' she acted innocent with a small smile playing with locks of her black, almost raven hair. 'You look so unhappily and it seems very strange to me considering the news' Diana said and a smug smirk appeared on her burgundy mat lips.</p><p>'You already know that?' I frowned with a pure confusion on my face.</p><p>'Of course I do, darling' she rolled her eyes at me as if I was asking something indecently obvious. 'So, tell me how you feel about working with motherfucking Marshall Mathers himself?'</p><p>'I don't know' I sighed for another time that morning. 'I don't really feel like doing all of this'.</p><p>'You're joking right now, aren't you?' Diana looked at me astonished and it reminded me of the woman from the coffee shop. God, why did everyone consider me strange that morning? 'Aren't you a fan of that chka-chka Slim Shady stuff? "Stan", "Superman", "Without me"?' I shook my head in what only could mean "no". 'No? Come on! I was just talking about basics'.</p><p>'I see that you are a big fan yourself' I stated not really liking to be out of topic. For sure, I heard those songs maybe once or twice but I just didn't pay attention. That's all.</p><p>'I can't say that I'm a big fan but I know and like a lot of his music. I was also at his concert in New York when the "Encore" record came out. That was sick' Diana answered a bit proudly like anybody who cherishes their own playlist. 'Anyway, you act absolutely foolishly. That's a one in a lifetime opportunity'.</p><p>'So maybe you will work on it?'</p><p>'No, you know I can't. I have a boyfriend and this Eminem guy has looks. It may be dangerous' she laughed winking at me. At that moment I thought that Diana's playful mood could rehabilitate anyone from anything. 'Besides, Jeff won't let me. I have no experience. But you' she pointed her finger at me. 'You should definitely go for him. I heard he is single and sober now so don't waste your time'.</p><p>'You are hilarious' I smiled with disbelief in my voice. 'You know that I'm still not over Jake' the name came out of my mouth habitually but with a painful aftertaste. Couldn't do anything about it.</p><p>'Oh, Lord, I'm tired of that name!' Diana sighed annoyingly. She was always emotional when it came to my love life mostly because she wished me the best. Or that was how she explained it. 'He was a literal coward who chose to come back to his previous girlfriend instead of trying to make it work with you. Forget about him!'</p><p>'Yeah, I know but it's just not that simple' I responded with a heavy chest feeling myself getting nervous talking about that. Of course, Diana was right but there was still something that I couldn't let go. Somewhere deep inside I was still foolishly hoping for the come back of mine and Jake's stupid saga. And even though I hated that thought, I couldn't get of rid of it.</p><p>'Everything is simple as hell. Let me show you something' she went to the pile of papers near her desk and after a minute found there a magazine. After that she stood up from her spot and put it on my table right in front of my eyes. 'Look and study it carefully. Aren't it making you a bit more eager to go to the studio tomorrow?'</p><p>I looked at the front page of the magazine Diana gave to me and immediately saw there the main character of my morning - Marshall Mathers. I'd already known how he looked like from the various videos and photos I'd seen but that was a while ago. Maybe that's why at the first moment I was confused by the image of him.</p><p>On the cover of some magazine the name of which I completely forgot to look at, Eminem himself seemed almost naturally. As if it was a habit of his to do so. Short dark hair and serious expression, tensed defined jaw and a daring glance - that were the details of his features which I didn't want but spotted. The absence of his shirt didn't help much too playing in a tandem with the weird enigmatic feeling the photo was giving me. There was not a boy but a man in front of me and that was undoubtedly attractive along with everything else which left me no chance to say I didn't like what I saw. Damn it.</p><p>'See? Jake who?' Diana snapped me out of my thoughts pointing at the magazine and grinning. Probably, completely satisfied with my silent reaction. And I had to say that I had no arguments against.</p><p>'Come on, stop it' I said almost seriously trying to hide my discomfort from her comment. 'The way he looks doesn't concern me' what a lie. I wouldn't buy it myself. 'I don't know him as a person and I don't plan on being in a relationship with him. Or anyone. Not now'.</p><p>'Aha, you've been saying it for half a year now since Jake's famous return to his girlfriend' Diana didn't give up giving me an "older sister" type of look. 'You deserve better. And now is the time. Look what the destiny prepared for you' she pointed at the cover of the magazine where a half naked Marshall Mathers still was and went to her spot with a raised chin. I knew that it was the end of the conversation and sighed for a millionth time that morning not answering Diana back.</p><p>I looked out the window watching a living city of Detroit starting its day and had a strange feeling of unknown overwhelming me. I was curious of what the future prepared for me and I knew for sure that something important should have happened. I just didn't know what.</p><p>Returning my glance at the magazine laying on my desk, I looked at the photo again, longer this time. A pair of blue eyes looked as if they were watching me from the cover and I shook my head to get rid of that effect it had on me. Putting the magazine away, I started to type on my computer but whatever I was trying to do, the image never left my mind that day.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey, so first chapter is here. Not really sure if I should keep writing so please, let me know what you think. Thank you for reading!❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. First impressions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning I woke up at 7 am with a strong feeling that I didn't want to get up from my bed. A bright sunlight from the window tried to blind me as I opened my eyes and I burried my head in a pillow with a deep sigh hoping that all of the events of the past day would vanish away and become a dream.</p><p>However, as it always happens, it didn't so I groaned, laid on my back and stared at the ceiling. I wished there were some patterns to look at so I could follow them with my glance and distract myself from an obsessive thought to get up. But the ceiling was completely blank and nothing could help. Good morning, I thought.</p><p>It never really got me a lot of time to dress up, have a breakfast and be ready for work. Though, that day I was out of place sipping my morning coffee with milk and looking out the window. All my actions were slow and lazy delaying the moment of leaving my apartment even though I knew that I shouldn't have been late. Jeff sent me a text reminding of it and wishing luck. Somehow it made me even more anxious.</p><p>I caught a taxi on a way to the studio and regretted it the moment I sat down in a car. The driver turned out to be an easy-going type of guy which didn't suit my moody morning at all. I had no actual desire to start a conversation or what was even worse - to pretend to be his 15-minute buddy as he was asking me questions which ironically already felt like an annoying interview.</p><p>Luckily, half the way the driver gave up and I was left all alone with my thoughts staring out the window at the streets we were passing by. I felt nervous even though it wasn't the first time for me to do those type of things. I guess something was in the way all of it happened and the fact that I had no idea what to expect.</p><p>The brief research late at night showed me that Marshall Mathers was one of a kind with an insane talent and lots of issues. I had no actual time to dig into it so it wasn't something I had to take to draw a picture. The person behind that magazine cover could be anybody and that thought made me uneasy. Not to mention, that I absolutely hated the fact that I had to go unprepared. It was like leaving your clothes at home and go completely bare which didn't help the situation at all.</p><p>'Mrs, here it is' the driver woke up me from my thoughts when the car finally stopped. He gave me a friendly smile and if I'd been a bit less wrapped up in my thoughts I would've answer back. But all I did was handing him the money and getting out of the car. Perhaps, he thought I was rude. And maybe, I really was?</p><p>Before entering the studio I stopped near the building to breath some fresh air in my lungs and calm down a little. I was obviously overreacting with the way I was feeling myself because I didn't even know where it came from.</p><p>Looking at the parking lot nearby I saw a guy smoking a cigarette and for a minute pictured myself doing it. Just to calm down. He looked all brutal in dark jeans, a cap and what seemed like a baseball jacket with a chain on. However, I couldn't smoke at all and that would look pathetic. The guy obviously knew what he was doing and for a second I envied him. So I looked his way once more and entered the studio hoping that the stranger didn't see me.</p><p>'Hello, how can I help you?' the voice of the secretary greeted me in a professional, emotionless way. She was a blonde woman with thin plum colored lips and an attentive stare. The minute I appeared in a hall she started to study me from the head to my toes before I could even reach her. Nice beginning, what can I say?</p><p>'Hello, I have a meeting with Paul Rosenberg here at 9 o'clock regarding the deal with the "Wave" magazine' I answered in the most confident way I was able to do and looked straight into secretary's eyes. They were concentrated on my face.</p><p>'Yes, I was informed...' she started but was suddenly interrupted by two voices somewhere not far away from us. The sound was growing louder and louder so in a moment we could hear the conversation. The only thing was that it was barely a conversation, more like shouting.</p><p>'I can't believe you did it all behind my back, Paul!' an angry male voice said loudly giving me some chills. 'I don't want someone to follow my fucking life for a month. I already agreed for a bunch of interviews, isn't it enough?'</p><p>'Marshall, calm down' another voice answered in a severe tone. It was Paul, I assumed. Me and the secretary shared a lost glance. 'I knew that you would say no. That's why I didn't tell you but the deal is already signed and you need some good promotion. You were away for more than 4 years, we need something big'.</p><p>'I won't do this. I don't care'.</p><p>'It's too late. We have a journalist coming from "Wave" today like right now' Paul stated and we heard some steps in our direction. I tensed in an anticipation and prepared to see them like a victim before facing a serial killer. All of it was giving me some bad vibes. Especially, as they were talking about me.</p><p>'Then the journalist can kiss my ass and go back to whatever magazine it is because...' the next words were never pronounced as two figures appeared in the hall revealing the owners of the voices - Paul Rosenberg and Marshall Mathers himself. They stopped talking the moment they noticed me and I immediately wanted to disappear somewhere to avoid the staring. Oh, the beautiful first impressions.</p><p>When a pair of blue eyes caught mine I got extremely uncomfortable. From the distance I could see an angry spark in them which faded a bit but still could be seen as a reminder of the words their owner pronounced. His expression was serious and the lines of his defined jaw seemed sharp which excluded any friendliness. Not that I hoped for some but still.</p><p>Marshall Mathers was in some dark jeans, sneakers, black jacket and a white shirt underneath it. Something in his pose and the way he was standing was extremely careless but tense at the same time as if he was open for everybody and no one in particular. He was a handsome man and no one could doubt that, looking into his angry but appealing eyes. Even after the first moment and knowing nothing about him. But holding his gaze for some long awkward moment I already knew somehow that it wouldn't be easy to get along. Oh Lord, it was a wrong time for a meeting.</p><p>'I'm sorry, are you waiting for someone?' the silence was broken by Paul's polite voice and I immediately drew my glance to him. Thank God because I wasn't sure how long I could hold that sudden duel of glances.</p><p>'As a matter of a fact, I am waiting for Paul Rosenberg, is that you?' I answered trying not to pay attention to the glance of Marshall's eyes on me. 'I'm from "Wave"'.</p><p>'Oh, yes, that's me. Nice to meet you...' Paul mumbled struggling with a name and smiling at me a bit uneasy probably understanding that I heard their fight.</p><p>'It's Ella' I tried to smile back helping him but didn't succeed. My heart was beating a lot faster than usually. Weird?</p><p>'Nice to meet you, Ella' Paul smiled again and gave Marshall an encouraging glance but that was completely in vain.</p><p>'Yeah, it's sooo nice to meet you. Marshall Mathers at your service' Marshall commented rolling his eyes at Paul. 'I'm pretty sure that you heard our argument so there is no need to explain twice that I won't take part in all of this bullshit' his voice was still angry with a poisonous note in it making me feel lost. I preferred him keeping silent.</p><p>'Marshall...' Paul started and I knew that it was a crucial moment where I had to say something. I wasn't brave enough but I knew I had to.</p><p>'No, it's okay' I interrupted him and looked straight into blue already familiar eyes. That was an almost unbearable move but I didn't have a choice. 'If Mr Mathers doesn't want to take part, he should know that in this case he owes "Wave" money for not implementing his obligation in the deal' my tone was surprisingly calm but talking like that wasn't easy at all. A slight confusion appeared on his features for a moment but they were immediately colored with anger.</p><p>'I won't pay any money' Marshall answered daring me with his glance but somehow almost calmly.</p><p>'I've told you, Marshall' Paul added seriously but I could see a grin hiding in the corners of his mouth. I guess, he was team Ella.</p><p>'Oh, you've told me? Like what, 5 minutes ago? Thanks a lot, Pauly, appreciate it, why didn't you wait until next year, though?' the merciless sarcasm saturated everything around us coming from the tone of Marshall Mather's voice. Oh, that surely was something.</p><p>All this time the secretary was staring at the scene with wide eyes. I wondered where her professionalism and the serious glance disappeared.</p><p>'You know what? Whatever' Marshall made a move with his hand as if he shut both of us up not giving a chance to answer. 'I'm not going to do this anyway. I don't care what you do, Paul, but I want you to make this up as soon as possible' he stated. 'I never want to hear about this shit again' pronounced Marshall Mathers magically making the words feel like a judgement. 'It was a pleasure to meet you' he gifted me with a small fake smile throwing a brief look in my direction, turned around and went away. A moment later we heard the door being loudly closed. Marvelous.</p><p>'So...' I mumbled not really sure what to say. The work is over?</p><p>'I'm sorry about all of this' Paul sighed deeply making a few steps closer to me. 'But don't worry, please. I will persuade him. I had to do some pretty dirty trick to make all of this possible and Marshall can't stand when something happens behind his back. But we need this deal for promotion and as a man of business I know what is best' he added with a smile which made me feel a bit less tense.</p><p>'It's okay, I understand' I nodded simply. 'Do we have anything to discuss today? When do we officially start?'</p><p>'We've pretty much figured everything out with Jeff but I wanted you to come today to meet you. Since today didn't turn out to be as I wanted it, we should start tomorrow' he answered taking his phone out of the pocket of his jeans and going through it briefly with a frown. 'I do have somewhere to be now actually but I can drive you wherever you like'.</p><p>'I can catch a taxi but that would be lovely' I said being relieved to leave the studio so soon. Well, I had enough impressions for that day.</p><p>'Agreed then. Wait a second, I'll tell Marshall I'm leaving' Paul said and went to where Marshall Mathers disappeared a minute ago.</p><p>I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. The secretary came back to her work so I was left waiting and inspecting the hall. I wondered if I would see Eminem once more that day.</p><p>'Fuck you, Paul!' I heard Marshall's voice 5 minutes later as Paul Rosenberg was closing the door and appearing in front of me with a tired expression. I guess I wouldn't.</p><p>'I'll persuade him, I promise' he told me reassuringly and I couldn't hold back a chuckle. As mad as it all was, there was something a bit funny.</p><p>Paul dropped me near the center of the city. We exchanged phone numbers and agreed on me going tomorrow to the studio at the same time. It was still morning and I had no urge to go home. I rarely had proper weekends or free time so I decided to take a walk and think properly about everything that had happened earlier. It was May in Detroit and I was glad to catch some last glimpses of spring before it would be replaced by summer.</p><p>I wondered if everything would be like Paul said. Marshall Mathers didn't come across as someone who could be easily convinced. I felt his anger in all its glory just from the short duel of glances we shared and I felt weird about that. On one hand, I wanted to look away as fast as possible. But on the other hand, I couldn't help but wanted to keep watching the way his irises were changing its tone depending on the emotions inside him. It was like watching scary movie. Except I usually didn't like those. What am I even thinking about?</p><p>Crossing the road, I spotted a musical shop and decided to come in. I had to find some Eminem CD's to listen to since I had to understand the artist I was working with. It was a usual thing for work but I couldn't hide the fact that I was actually intrigued to hear his music. Maybe, that would help me. Or maybe, nothing would.</p><p>'Hey, how can I help you?' coming in I was greeted by the soft pleasant voice in which I easily could hear a smile. Raising my glance at the cashier I immediately confirmed my guesses and saw a guy sitting in an almost empty shop listening to something indie. Such a cliche, I thought.</p><p>'Hello' I answered coming closer and studying the guy's features. He had a short chestnut hair and attractive glance of honey eyes joined by a friendly expression. You could easily call him attrective from the first glance but not magnetising which was relieving and disapponting at once. I found him interesting to look at but nothing else. 'I'm in a desperate need of some Eminem records. Do you have anything to show me?'</p><p>'Of course' he answered simply looking at me and getting up from his spot to look for CD's on a shelf. 'Are you a hip hop fan?'</p><p>'I'm not but I guess, I have no choice but to be one' I told him but more like to myself.</p><p>'That sounds weird' the guy said with a slight smirk putting a few albums in front of me to look at.</p><p>'I can't explain'.</p><p>'Well, the mistery' he laughed and I was almost enjoining the conversation. The sunlight was penetrating through the glass wall of the shop and dancing on the guy's cheekbones. It was somehow nice to look at. What a contrast it was comparing to earlier events. 'Anyway, you'd better begin with "Infinite" and "Slim Shady LP". I'm personally not into it but my brother says it's great as hell' he added showing me the CD's and watching me attentively.</p><p>'Are those the first ones?' I asked examining the covers of the records closely.</p><p>'Yeah, 1996 and 1999'.</p><p>'Okay then, I'll trust your brother's opinion' I shrugged giving him a small smile. 'I'll get those'.</p><p>'Cool. Come again for the next ones and I'll ask my brother more about the recommendations' he winked at me handing me the albums and receiving my money. I didn't even know how to react.</p><p>'Thank you' was all I could think of feeling a bit smitten by his behavior. Was he flirting with me? 'Goodbye, have a nice day' I said and opened the door to go away.</p><p>'Wait!' the guy's voice stopped me. 'What's your name?'</p><p>'Ella' I said feeling an urge to escape. The guy was surely a pleasant one but I just felt a bit lost.</p><p>'Nice to meet you, Ella. I'm Josh' he smiled at me again and I nodded in a response closing the door behind me. Too many acquaintances for one morning, too many.</p><p>The road home was long as I decided to walk so when I came in my apartment I was tired as hell. I turned my voicemail on to listen to the messages and plopped down on the couch resting my head and looking out the window.</p><p>'Hey, kid, Paul called me and said that he liked you so congratulations on a good start' I heard the first voicemail starting to play and Jeff's voice filled the air.</p><p>'I know that things didn't go smoothly with Eminem'.</p><p>Oh yeah, they didn't at all.</p><p>'But hopefully, it will change soon. You always get along with people'.</p><p>Guess, not this time. Oh Jeff, you belive in me too much.</p><p>'Anyway, have a nice day tomorrow and call me when you have a free time. Bye'.</p><p>'Bye' I answered to the silence sighing heavily.</p><p>'How was your meeting with Eminem? I want to know all the details like right now because I'm going to explode. Call me as soon as you get this voicemail or I'll kick your ass!' was the second record which made me smile a bit hearing Diana's excited and demanding tone.</p><p>I knew she could do what she said easily but had no actual desire to talk in that moment so decided to call her later. There were only two messages for that day and I was just sitting on a couch without moving.</p><p>The sun was setting down and I could see honey-colored rays on the carpet where my feet were. The dust was flying in the air and I was following it with my glance as the thoughts were swimming in my head lazily reaviling the pictures of the passing day. I guess, I should have forgotten about everything but somehow that morning was refusing to go away from my mind.</p><p>I got the CD's from my bag and softly touched the covers with my fingers. The CD player was standing on the small table not far away from me and I put the "Infinite" record in but before I could do anything else, I heard my voicemail speaking again.</p><p>'Hi, Ella. It's Paul' I frowned slightly not really knowing what to expect. 'I promised you to make sure that Marshall will agree so guess what?' I could hear a bit of smugness in his tone. 'I got it' he made a small pause definitely smiling at himself.</p><p>Damn, I didn't even know if I was happy. So, we'll have to see each other again and this time with Marshall's agreement?</p><p>'So there will be no problems'.</p><p>I doubt that.</p><p>'Oh, and one more' Paul added as if it was something totally unimportant. 'Marshall will stop by your place tomorrow morning at 8.30. I hope that a little ride to the studio together will help you to get along. Don't be late, though. He doesn't like waiting. See you tomorrow' the voicemail ended leaving me looking at the wall in front of me with an astonished expression on my face.</p><p>Wait, what? I will drive to the studio tomorrow with Marshall Mathers? Together? Alone?</p><p>I sat there for a moment trying to process everything drawing some scary images of the next morning, then gave it up and pressed the "Play" button on the CD player:</p><p>Ayo, my pen and paper cause a chain reaction <br/>To get your brain relaxin', the zany actin' maniac in action...</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey, so new chapter. Still not really sure how I feel about it so please, tell me your opinion on it. I hope that you like it💕</p><p>Thank you to whoever leaves likes or comments. Means a world to me. Take care!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Stating the rules</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I didn't really sleep at night. And I couldn't find any real reason for that. My bed was comfortable as usual, the window was opened and the room was melting in soft spring darkness. I guess I could only blame for it the fact that the next morning I had to go to work together with Marshall Mathers.</p><p>I was trying to stir my morning tea in a habitual, normal way but somehow it appeared to be a rather difficult mission. I was somewhere else looking at the spirals my spoon was creating in a cup and refusing to look at the clock. Which I knew for sure already showed 8:20.</p><p>I took the cup finally and drank all the tea at once suddenly remembering the fact that I forgot to eat something. Well, I guess, I had no time for that.</p><p>I stopped to look in the mirror before going out of my apartment and found myself not in the best state. Everything seemed usual but not as I wanted it to be. All of a sudden I wished I was more attractive and it was strange because I rarely let myself to think that way. But instead of changing something I just fixed my shoulder-length hair in lazy waves and disapprovingly glanced at my black 90's jeans and some white top. Oh, I wasn't ready at all.</p><p>The minute I went out the building my eye caught a huge black Cadillac Escalade parked right in front of the entrance probably having no permission to be there. However, the street was almost empty at that time and nobody except me was there to witness that. Catching a familiar profile of the main character of my scary movie in the window of the driver's seat I sighed and came closer.</p><p>Marshall spotted me almost immediately and I could already see his serious expression as he reached from his seat to open the door for me. Alright, here we go.</p><p>'Good morning' I mumbled sitting in the car trying not to look in his direction even though I had an urge to do so. I didn't expect a warm welcome so I was ready for anything. Marshall, on the other hand, gave me a brief malcontent look.</p><p>'I wouldn't call it that' he answered being clearly not in a mood and starting the engine. Both of us concentrated our eyes on the road and the tension appeared in the air. Damn.</p><p>'You are a rude guy, aren't you?' I asked out of nowhere getting ready to be murdered by his answer. I shouldn't have probably developed the conversation but I just couldn't shut up for some reason. I didn't want to mention the fact that we were closer that time and I could barely catch a smell of his cologne but I did.</p><p>'You bet I am' Marshall told me simply and I let myself a look at his hands on the steering wheel. His pose was confident and relaxed despite the obvious tension. 'Is that what your psychological analysis told you about?' oh, the sarcasm. I wouldn't lie if I said that I didn't miss that.</p><p>'There was no need. Your greeting was absolutely enough' I growled out unintentionally and Marshall's head immediately turned in my direction. Before his glance returned to the road I met his frown and a pair of blue light eyes.</p><p>'Next time eat your attitude for breakfast' he said annoyed with my answer. Well, guess, I wasn't the one to keep silent. 'Paul wants me to pick you up every day so we'd better discuss some rules' what? Every day?</p><p>'Rules? That's hilarious'.</p><p>'Look' he looked at me longer this time and I heard a persistence in his tone. 'I don't like any of this. All of it ruins my habitual schedule and it's very important for me. I'm doing it only because Paul asks me to and that stupid deal with your magazine'.</p><p>'As if I didn't understand your point yesterday' I answered quietly glueing my eyes on the road and putting my hands on my knees to play with fingers. The conversation was becoming more and more difficult to handle and I needed some distraction.</p><p>'Great' I heard Marshall mumbling with no emotion not looking at me. 'Then you should remember 2 rules: I don't like talking while I'm driving and I'm not eager to make friends'.</p><p>'I'm totally fine with that. Thanks for providing me with good material to write about you. Now I know that you are an asshole' I pronounced without thinking and all of a sudden the car stopped near the studio.</p><p>I could feel Marshall's eyes on me after the thing I'd said and even though I knew that it would be a bad idea I turned my head and looked at him back. There was no anger on his face but I could see a mocking in his glance and that was even worse. Was the ride unnaturally short or was I just concentrated on the conversation so much that I didn't follow the time?</p><p>'If you think that you are the first fucking person to call me that then I'm sorry to disappoint you' he told me in a melodic voice and I couldn't understand where he got that calmness from. 'I don't give a damn what you'll write about me. You don't know me. And nobody will know me unless I want them to' Marshall said looking right into my eyes with no shame and instantly broke the contact.</p><p>I opened my mouth to answer but no words came out so when he took the keys and opened the door to get out I had to swallow my pride and do the same keeping silent. I didn't know how I could put up with it for an actual month.</p><p>We entered the studio together. Well, not really together. I was following him so when the secretary saw us, judging by her glance I thought that she knew things weren't good between us.</p><p>'Good morning, boss' she greeted politely with a clear respect and I wondered if Marshall Mathers was actually a good boss. And if that's so why not to be good to me?</p><p>'Morning, Camilla. Are Paul and Royce already here?' he answered in a serious tone.</p><p>'Yes, they are waiting for you and Ms Ella' she said nodding at me. I felt uncomfortable again. 'Oh, and there is a message for you from Kim. She wanted you to call her' oh, Kim, there it is. I read that name in a few articles that I got a chance to see. Ex-wife and the love of his life. I thought they were over.</p><p>'Why didn't she just call me?' Marshall asked furrowing his eyebrows not very pleased with the news.</p><p>'She said that you haven't answered all morning and she wanted to talk about something'.</p><p>'Okay, nevermind, thank you' he nodded and we went to the big restroom next to the hallway where Paul and Royce I assumed, already were.</p><p>'Hey, morning you two' Paul greeted us with a good mood which was completely opposite to ours. Oh, look, now I and Marshall had something in common. 'How was the ride?'</p><p>'Perfect' Marshall told him faking a smile and throwing me the same look.</p><p>'That's what I was hoping to hear' Paul sighed dissatisfied with the answer sipping a soda in his hand.</p><p>'Hey, man' a guy who had to be Royce greeted Marshall and returned his glance to me standing up and extending a hand for a shake. He had a friendly expression and an endearing smile. Straight away it seemed that unlike Marshall he was actually nice. 'And this beauty here has to be Ella, right? I'm Ryan but you can call me Royce or Nickle. Whatever you like'.</p><p>'Nice to meet you' I shook his hand giving him a smile back and feeling a small relief thanks to Royce's attitude. From the corner of my eye, I could see Marshall watching us.</p><p>'So, you work at "Wave". You guys made a fuss here in Detroit' Royce pronounced as we sat on the couch in the middle of the room. Paul disappeared somewhere as his phone began to ring.</p><p>'Oh yeah? Is that so? Haven't heard anything about it' Marshall commented poisonously before I could open my mouth to answer as he took a RedBull from the fridge and sat in front of us. I knew that I could meet his eyes any time so I preferred concentrating on Royce's face.</p><p>'Maybe, that's because you live like a monk in the mountains knowing nothing about the internet' Royce smirked helping me out and I chuckled quietly. Oh, I already liked Royce.</p><p>'Shut up, Royce. I know everything I need to know' Marshall answered hiding a smile and I caught myself on a thought that I wanted to see a real, genuine smile of his. Around Royce, he seemed more relaxed and open.</p><p>'Oh, yeah, nice excuse, buddy' Royce laughed. 'You see, Ella, he doesn't even know what the word "browser" means'.</p><p>'That's where you miss, liar. I read the dictionary every day before going to bed. I know exactly what that means' Marshall winked at Royce joking around and I couldn't believe what I saw. Was it the same man who I was in the car today with?</p><p>'Oh yeah, Ella, note this' Royce continued. 'Marshall is a dictionary stan. That's why he is single. When the cool chicks find out about his unhealthy fetish they are running away screaming while he's explaining to them what "ambivalent" means'.</p><p>'If I'm a dictionary stan, then you are my stan, bitch' Marshall answered making a grimace. 'Fuck off and finish showing off. I'll be waiting for you in the studio' he added almost seriously nodding in my direction, grabbing his RedBull and exiting the room.</p><p>'Don't pay attention to Marshall' Royce said smiling again when we were left alone.</p><p>'That's actually pretty difficult when I have to write about him' I laughed a bit. 'But you are quite good at putting up with him'.</p><p>'Yeah, right? Believe me, he is a good guy. I've known him for years and I can't name anyone like Marshall. One of my best friends ever if not the best one'.</p><p>'Maybe, you are right. I'm just being in a rather unpleasant situation here' I sighed a bit heavily. 'I hope that we'll get along somehow because we have a whole month of working together but today everything was bad'.</p><p>'How bad?' Royce raised an eyebrow in a playful way. I was pretty sure he knew what to expect from Marshall too well, though.</p><p>'Let me see' I faked a thoughtful expression. 'He was unfriendly enough to state stupid rules not to talk to him in the car and not to be pals. Then I called him an "asshole".</p><p>'Wow' Royce laughed laying his hand on a chest. 'Cool start. And what did he say?'</p><p>'He said he was used to that, basically'.</p><p>'That's the real Marshall' he laughed again. 'I bet you two will get along, though. Just give him some time' Royce put his hand on my shoulder in a friendly way and got up from the couch. 'Gotta go. Maybe, you'll go too and see how everything works? Marshall doesn't like strangers in the studio but I can convince him'.</p><p>'I don't think he'll let me. And I don't want to disturb you two' I told him truthfully even though I was curious about the way Marshall and Royce were working together.</p><p>'Okay, see you later then' he said and left me alone in a restroom. I was wondering if I could sink in that couch and disappear from the building.</p><p>I was surely relieved by meeting Royce, of course. But it wasn't Royce who I had to write about. Marshall Mathers seemed like a complicated puzzle I didn't know if I was able to solve and that was bothering me. Being around him was giving me some weird nervous feeling where I wanted to escape and stay at the same time. Also, somehow I couldn't get rid of the thought what was his relationship like with Kim now. But no, that wasn't my business. So I grabbed a pen and started to make some notes to remember some of the details of that morning.</p><p>'Ella, I have an office prepared here for you to work' Paul returned to the room finding me writing in a notebook. 'Let's go, I'll show you'.</p><p>'Yeah, thank you' I answered getting up and we went down the hall to a small cabinet right next to the hallway.</p><p>'So, here is a place where you can work if you need' Paul told me when we came in the room. There was a huge window, a desk with a computer on it, a chair, a small sofa in front of the window and a few plants here and there. Nothing special but it was fair to say that the room looked nice. 'You can also put your stuff here if you want. Just make sure that there are no Britney Spears or any of that shit posters. Marshall won't like that'.</p><p>'Why is that so?' I asked Paul curiously even though I wasn't a fan of pop.</p><p>'You'll know soon' he laughed giving me an enigmatic smile. I made a note to make a research on that. ' Anyway, hope you'll be comfortable here. Though, tomorrow Marshall has a photoshoot planned so he'll pick you up and you'll go together'.</p><p>'Is it necessary for him to pick me up every time? I can go to the studio or whatever location you need myself. It's not a problem' I told him silently hoping that it will spare me another awkward ride with Marshall. I felt uneasy about the thought to be alone with him again.</p><p>'I understand that you don't want to go with him because of his behaviour. But we need a good series of articles and for that, you should spend some time with him, am I right?'</p><p>'Yes, you are' I answered nodding having nothing more to say. I had no choice but to do my job. As Jeff liked to say, in that case, I needed to be professional. 'Thank you for the cabinet, anyway'.</p><p>'Not at all' he smiled at me. 'I'll leave you alone for now' Paul added and when I smiled back he closed the door.</p><p>I was glad I had my own corner to escape from Marshall whenever I needed to. Brushing the top of my desk with my hand and sitting behind it I caught myself on a thought that it wasn't that bad and maybe, I could actually get used it. The only question was if the certain someone actually could.</p><p>I looked around and saw a big picture hanging on the wall. It was nothing but a photo of Marshall Mathers. Blond hair, a funny expression, white large t-shirt and a du-rag from the early 2000s. I wondered if it was the same man I met. Or was it Eminem? Or Slim Shady? Anyway, whoever he was his image was chasing after me and caught me even in my new office. So, Mr Mathers, I just started writing about you, dare me to continue?</p><p>The photo didn't answer so I laughed at my silliness and switched on the computer. I wanted to include as many details as possible so I had to type all of that down. Writing about my impressions wasn't easy but interesting. Whoever the article was about I just loved my job. So when sometime later someone knocked at the door I didn't even notice it at first.</p><p>'Hey, Ella, we just finished so I wanted to ask if you'd like to go to eat something with me and Marshall' I heard Royce's voice after the door was opened and raised my head to find his smiling expression looking at me from behind the door.</p><p>'What time is it?' I asked him welcoming with a gesture to come in.</p><p>'It's already 5'.</p><p>'What?' I answered surprised. I looked at my computer and it showed 5:03. How could I miss the fact that I'd worked all day? 'No way'.</p><p>'I see that you started hard on that' he chuckled at me. 'Let's go, we should have dinner' oh, that would be nice, I thought. I just remembered I didn't have breakfast. Damn Marshall.</p><p>'Does he know that I go too?' I asked Royce getting up from my spot.</p><p>'Weeeell' he mumbled touching his neck. 'I guess, he'll find out'.</p><p>'I don't like that' I said when we went out of the room and Royce laughed.</p><p>We wanted to go to Marshall's office to get him and tell Royce's horrible idea but as we entered the hall he was already there. Marshall was standing near the secretary's reception and telling her something with a serious concentrated face. From the distance, I could tell he was a bit out of place and I wondered why.</p><p>'Em, I was thinking today we could go for dinner with Ella and...' Royce started talking as we reached Marshall but was instantly interrupted.</p><p>'Not today' he said looking at us but probably being somewhere else. 'I have somewhere to be'.</p><p>'I see' Royce answered with annoyance in his voice giving me a silent gesture to leave them for a minute. I sat on the couch waiting and dying from curiosity. I could see Royce's back and Marshall's face not far away from me. However, when they began talking again I could hear their conversation as well.</p><p>'It's Kim, isn't it?' I heard Royce sighing.</p><p>'Yeah' Marshall nodded looking like a culprit in front of the judge. As I could see, Kim subject was rather sensitive. 'She wants me to come over to discuss something about girls so I couldn't say no'.</p><p>'Marshall, I think she could discuss that on the phone. Since you two have divorced she has invited you to come over "just to talk" a lot of times. It never ended well'.</p><p>'I know, man' Marshall answered rubbing his forehead with his hand tiringly. 'But we're good now. I'll go discuss what she wants and that's all'.</p><p>'We both don't really believe that, do we?' I could hear the worry in Royce's voice. 'Anyway, you won't listen to what I say and maybe, I would do the same. But you should've gone with us, that would be nice to show some friendliness'.</p><p>'Do I look like a friendly person to you?' Marshall raised his eyebrow and the lines of his jaw seemed sharper than ever. Why was it a nice thing to look at, though?</p><p>'That's the thing. Be easy with a girl. She did nothing wrong' uh, Royce, why are you such a nice person to defend me?</p><p>'Don't worry about her' Marshall said and suddenly his glance landed on me. It was a mistake of mine to watch them openly because our eyes met unexpectedly. I felt something in his glance assessing my posture and that was thrilling. 'She's not that defenceless' he added returning his attention to Royce to say goodbye. I didn't know how to feel about those words. 'Anyway, I'll call you, Royce, everything's gonna be fine'.</p><p>'I hope so' Royce answered turning around to look at me guiltily. I saw Marshall making his way to the exit.</p><p>'I'll pick you up tomorrow at 9. Be ready' he threw a phrase at me like a ball to catch passing me by and giving me a brief neutral look.</p><p>'Okay, goodbye' I told in pursuit of him but Marshall never answered and in a second disappeared from the studio.</p><p>'Well, looks like there are just me and you' Royce shrugged sadly. 'Marshall is busy today. Couldn't make it but he told me to apologize for him' oh yeah, right. Marshall apologizing to me. Thank you for trying, though, Royce.</p><p>'It's okay' I said smiling as if I didn't hear their conversation. Smooth move, Ella, right.</p><p>'We should still go'.</p><p>'Yeah, why not?'</p><p>We spent the evening in one of the restaurants which Royce liked. It wasn't really fancy but it had a great atmosphere and a nice city view. Talking with him was easy and fun as if we'd known each other before. I appreciated Royce's attempts to cheer me up and help telling more about hip hop. I enjoyed the time even though I couldn't stop thinking about Kim and Marshall. I didn't know why because it surely wasn't my concern but I couldn't do anything about it.</p><p>When I came back home it was already dark outside. I just took off my shoes and went to bed in my clothes feeling tired. The minute I closed my eyes I remembered the Infinite record I listened to the day before. Thinking about it was pleasant somehow even though it didn't really suit Marshall's behaviour from what I saw. I guess the reason was that it actually gave me some other picture of Marshall which I wasn't familiar with - open-minded and eager. Covering myself with a blanket and setting the alarm, I wondered if someday I would actually be able to experience that in real life.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey there, chapter 3 is here. I really hope that someone reads and likes that because I'm kind of anxious about the result.</p><p>Please, let me know what you think so I know if I should continue. Huge thanks to everybody who left likes💕 Hope that you all are safe on quarantine:)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Photoshoots and little troubles</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>That morning I started my day with a plain confession - I hated all the alarms in the world. Not only because of the sound of it which is the first thing you hear every morning but also thanks to the fact that due to some unfathomable reasons they don't work when you need it the most. As you've already guessed, I slept too long and woke up at 8:46 to find out that I had 14 minutes to get ready or Marshall Mathers would be very very angry.</p><p>Needless to say, I had the fastest shower possible and I was pretty sure that the best running athletes in the world would be jealous of the way I ran down the stairs from my apartment eating an apple and fixing my first caught clothes. I guess the history would decide not to wound them in such a cruel way saving that moment only for me to think how much I really hated being late.</p><p>However, when I stepped outside and saw Marshall's car, his profile in the window seemed normally serious which gave me some sort of hope that the lateness wasn't that catastrophic. When he opened the door and I sat in the car I saw that the big white watch on Marshall's hand showed 9:02. Oh wow.</p><p>'What the hell is wrong with you today?' was the first thing I heard him say with the slightly confused expression on his face observing the way I was that day. And I suddenly understood that I probably looked absolutely crazy being out of breath and nervously smoothing my shirt and jeans. Nice.</p><p>'I thought we didn't talk in the car' I stopped all my movements turning my head in his direction and raising my brow as if nothing unusual was happening. I was hoping to escape from the answer to that question.</p><p>'You learn quickly' Marshall answered with a small hum and the lips of his showed me a hint of a smirk but it never appeared and he started the engine.</p><p>'Thanks' I mumbled turning my head to look out the window and hiding a small smile. What a luck it was that I woke up before 9. Damn alarms.</p><p>The rest of the ride we spent in quiet. I stole a couple of glances at Marshall and I was pretty sure he noticed it but never said a word. Something attractive was about the way he drove the car and I couldn't resist looking at Marshall from time to time. Just to watch his concentrated and serious expression mixed with careless movements, spot some unimportant details like a silver cross on a chain he was wearing or a soft-looking grey T-shirt underneath the jacket. I didn't really want to observe him but couldn't help it.</p><p>When we pulled up to the location, Marshall parked the car and we got out. I thought it would be a good opportunity to start a conversation and prove some details about him.</p><p>'So, how do you feel about photoshoots in general?' I asked him when we were making our way to the set which was already filled with people. To be honest, I wanted to slap myself in the face the moment I pronounced that question because somehow it sounded a bit cringy. I wanted to be in a journalist type of mode but with Marshall, it felt difficult to do that properly.</p><p>'What happened to the rule to stay quiet?' Marshall raised his eyebrows at me and I thought I caught a note of a tease in his velvet tone. Or was I mistaking that for a venom?</p><p>'We are not in the car anymore' I shrugged simply as if we always had those kinds of normal conversations and talking first was my well-known habit.</p><p>'Good point' he answered not looking at me. 'I guess I don't mind it but it's not something I look forward to. I got used to things like that a long time ago' he stopped suddenly throwing me a dissatisfied glance. I wasn't sure it was serious, though. 'Where is your notepad? I don't see you writing it down. Every word is priceless, for your information'.</p><p>'I have a good memory, don't worry' I reassured him and something unfamiliar sparked in his blue eyes. I noticed something different about his behaviour that day. It was like his mood was almost good. I wondered if Kim was the one to blame for it.</p><p>'Oh, do you really?' he asked sarcastically but not as poisonously as it was the day before. Marshall didn't wait for my answer and we went further.</p><p>Oh well, that wasn't that bad. At least, we could call it a conversation.</p><p>Paul was already on the set dispensing commands to everybody around. After greetings, Marshall went to change his clothes and I was left with Paul watching the crew making some last preparations for the shoot. It was supposed to be a series of photos in the suburbs of Detroit for one of the musical magazines from LA and Paul looked very concentrated on the process.</p><p>'So, how did the ride go today? I see that Marshall is in a rather good mood' Paul told me not taking his eyes off the set. Oh, so he noticed it too?</p><p>'It was normal' I answered truthfully. 'I have nothing to do with his mood, though'.</p><p>'Well, I'm glad to hear that anyway' he nodded at me approvingly.</p><p>'Let's do this, motherfuckers' we heard Marshall stepping out of the small tent based on the set in a new outfit which wasn't exactly different from his usual clothes. The purpose of the photoshoot was not to dress up that much. I chuckled a bit at the foolish grin he had on his face. Was it some other Marshall Mathers?</p><p>The work was pretty fun to look at as Marshall posed and joked around with the crew and I actually had an opportunity to see some photos right after they had been made. Eminem himself was quite good at it or was it just his looks? It was interesting how he could be that serious and menacing on the photos and chill in the process. Not when it came to me, though.</p><p>As I was watching him from the distance I heard my phone rang and took it out of my pocket to see Diana's number on a screen. Oh... Damn, Diana!</p><p>'I've been waiting for your call for 2 days, Ella. How dare you do things like that to your best friend?' was the first thing I heard Diana saying in an angry voice when I picked up the phone. Dammit. I forgot to call Diana with all those recent events.</p><p>'Who told you that you were my best friend?' I teased her with a small laugh continuing watching Marshall on the set. He was inspecting the photos with the photographer.</p><p>'Unbelievable! You are the guilty one and you are laughing at me' she answered irritatingly.</p><p>'I'm sorry. I was really busy these days. I'm trying to get used to everything'.</p><p>'Whatever. I want to hear the details! How is Eminem?' Diana asked completely changing her mood from furious to excited. I wondered how she could manage it.</p><p>'Well, it's actually not perfect timing. I'm on a photoshoot location with him and Paul' I said smiling to myself at her eagerness. 'Shortly, it's not easy. Even though today he seems a bit more indulgent than yesterday, we are not really on good terms'.</p><p>'Oh, he's well-known for being moody' Diana chuckled almost deliciously. 'Don't worry, though. It makes the work more interesting, doesn't it?'</p><p>'I would say it makes the work more stressful' I told her sighing.</p><p>'Don't complain too much. Jeff walks around happy as hell. His opponents found out that "Wave" got a deal with Eminem and it drives them crazy. The rumours are spreading too fast'.</p><p>'I'm really glad to hear that. Jeff undoubtedly deserves all of it' I answered calmly but happily. Suddenly I saw Paul making some gestures to me to come where he was. 'Sorry, I can't talk anymore but thank you for checking on me. I'll call you later!' I added mumbling the explanation as fast as I could and turning off the phone hearing Diana answering:</p><p>'As if I believe your promises. But good luck!'</p><p>Paul gave me an opportunity to say my words on the photos of Marshall and it was a great pleasure to look at them silently admitting that 80% was good. The photographer and Paul, though, were arguing about only two shots which from their perspective were the only suitable options. Something special was about that atmosphere of chaos on set and I wondered how Paul managed to remain so stable and focused in the middle of it.</p><p>'Ella, Marshall is changing clothes in the tent but I bet he already finished. He asked for a cup of coffee after everything is done but I forgot to tell the girl from the staff and everyone is busy. I hate asking you for that because it's not your concern but would you mind giving it to him?' Paul asked me when the best photos were picked nodding at the small table with drinks on the set. He was actually right about everyone being busy so even though the thought of bringing coffee to Eminem's tent made me feel uneasy I told him simply:</p><p>'Okay, no problem' yeah, right. What if he didn't finish dressing up?</p><p>Taking a coffee and making my way to his tent I made at least 10 different worst-case scenarios in my head of me coming in his tent and seeing Marshall naked or anything like that. However, when I came the closest way possible to the tent and asked loudly if I could come in I heard Marshall answering simply:</p><p>'Yeah'.</p><p>The first thing I saw was Marshall standing in the middle of the tent in the same clothes he wore for the last photos and struggling with the zipper on his vest muttering some cursing words to himself in the process of it. Well, none of the scenarios in my head included that kind of situation. But whatever.</p><p>'Paul asked me to bring you some coffee' I pronounced vacillatingly trying to get his attention.</p><p>'What are you, my servant now?' he answered in the thing not raising his head at me and continuing battling with the zipper. The tone of Marshall wasn't angry but more like discontented probably addressing it to the little trouble he was in.</p><p>'And that's when I thought you decided to be lenient to me' I said in a disappointing way in order to see what his reaction would be like. I didn't really feel offended with that servant thing. Mostly because of the tone he used to say that.</p><p>'Fuck this' he sighed giving up and ignoring my comment as the zipper on the vest had no intention to move. 'I'll be buried in this thing'.</p><p>'Let me help you' I offered him making a step closer and that was when he finally looked up at me. 'What happened?'</p><p>'And how does it look like to you? It got stuck and I spent five hundred hours dealing with it' Marshall told me sarcastically making gestures in frustration. I suppressed an urge to chuckle at his seriousness.</p><p>'Okay, I see. Let me try' I answered in earnest trying not to offend him with a smile and leaving a cup with coffee on the small table. I was pretty sure in that exact minute that any rapper in the world seemed to Marshall as less of an enemy than the zipper on his vest. And that was funny.</p><p>'I doubt you'll change anything' he sniffed in disbelief but made no attempts to stop me when I came the closest I could to him to look at the zipper.</p><p>'We'll see' I mumbled in response.</p><p>It was a piece of fabric stuck in the zipper that interfered with a movement and it was hard to notice from Marshall's side. I started to help him but it was a bit difficult to focus because of the closeness we shared. I could feel him watching me attentively or even observing my face and that was very distracting somehow. Marshall Mathers didn't do anything special standing still but I could hear his calm breath and even feel his chest under my fingers whenever I was trying to separate the fabric from the zipper. I wouldn't say it was intoxicating but I was suddenly nervous. Oh, well.</p><p>'I wasn't trying to be lenient, by the way' he brought that up out of nowhere as I was still struggling with that damn zipper. I didn't expect Marshall to start a conversation but the silence would be more awkward so that was for the better. Right? 'I'm just in a good mood today'.</p><p>'That's better than being all moody and tough, though' I answered shrugging and raising my glance at him for a brief moment but the eyes of Marshall were somewhere else.</p><p>'You know, I don't hire servants to listen to their opinion' he told me seriously but I could hear a small mocking in his voice. I wouldn't lie if I said I liked that.</p><p>'Well, I don't remember you paying me'.</p><p>'And you still work for me. What a profitable deal' his words sounded as if he was annoyed with me but not in a completely bad way and somehow I wanted that banter to last a little longer. So when I finally got the piece of fabric from the zipper and the trouble was solved I felt a bit disappointed even though I didn't really want to admit that.</p><p>'Here it is' I told Marshall looking at his face when he easily unzipped the vest. I was hesitating if I wanted to meet glances so it was better not to look at Marshall like that but I enjoyed the sharp lines of his face in the poorly lit tent. Did I really say that? No, no, no.</p><p>'Oh God,' he sighed rolling his eyes but definitely feeling relieved. 'Thank you' he added nodding at me with no great emotions but I could hear a soft note in his tone. A glance of blue clear eyes was calm and a bit surprised. I bet he didn't really hope for me helping him out.</p><p>'You are welcome' I answered quietly. 'I'll leave you and tell Paul that you need some more time'.</p><p>'I'll need all the time in the world to get over this emotional trauma. I'll never wear clothes with zippers again' Marshall commented with a straight face and I said nothing in response letting him see my unwitting small smile and leaving the tent.</p><p>'Where have you been for so long?' Paul asked me with confusion on his face ending the call on the phone when I reached him.</p><p>'Well, there was a little struggle with the zipper involved but it's fine now' I answered smiling and catching myself on a pleasant feeling talking about that.</p><p>'Marshall is such a kid sometimes' Paul shook his head sighing a bit like a father talking about his naughty child. 'How could you be a world-famous rapper and not be able to deal with simple things like that?'</p><p>'Well, we all have different sides, I guess. Besides, it's not that awful, isn't it? It's rare to see someone who can be both: a kid and a tough rapper'</p><p>'That's right' Paul agreed smiling at me.</p><p>Marshall Mathers appeared ten minutes after that in the same clothes he was when we arrived but in a different mood. He seemed in a hurry to go somewhere when he and Paul were talking.</p><p>'What's up with you today, Marshall? At first, you are almost like happy and now you are rushing somewhere?' Paul asked him straight when Marshall went out of the tent at a fast pace. Marshall's glance seemed unfocused and lost.</p><p>'I'm telling you what's up with me' he answered a bit annoyed with the question stopping near us. 'Today when I woke up I got an idea for a song and there was a melody playing in my head which I wanted to try at the studio. But obviously, you had that entire shoot planned and I had no opportunity to do that and now you're just wasting my damn time with your stupid questions when I could spend it in the studio. Get it?' Marshall raised his eyebrows at Paul with a faked polite smile.</p><p>Oh, so his mood wasn't about Kim? Damn, Ella, forget about her already...</p><p>'Okay, okay, go. Don't let me detain you' Paul told him clucking.</p><p>'See you' Marshall told him and giving me a small nod left us watching his figure making its way to the Cadillac.</p><p>'You are free for today, Ella. Marshall hates to be disturbed in the studio so I can take you home if you want so. I have an hour before the next meeting' Paul offered me when the Cadillac disappeared from our sight.</p><p>'Thanks but I'll catch a taxi today' I reassured him quickly feeling an urge to be left alone with my thoughts for the rest of the day.</p><p>Paul tried to argue but soon gave up. I told him and the crew my goodbyes and caught a taxi telling the driver to go home. At first, I had an urge to go to the river and walk a bit but then decided against it. I had the stuff to do and when I got home I wanted to work.</p><p>In my apartment, there was only the CD player which was really waiting for me. Giving it a glance when I walked in an almost forgotten memory sparked in my mind. That was the player Jake gave me for my birthday a couple of years ago. Remembering that detail all of a sudden felt painful. Even though Diana was absolutely right about him, there are just people in our life we miss no matter how bad they treat us. It's not just about the person, it's about the moment and the feeling.</p><p>But I knew I shouldn't have thought about that at all so instead, making dinner for myself I let my mind replay the events of the day. Marshall confused me. He was surely not the most pleasant guy on the planet and we didn't share any casual or friendly conversations but what if it really was making the work more interesting? I didn't know him as a person but there was an inner feeling that despite all the events he wasn't a bad one. And that counted for something.</p><p>Also, after the moment in the tent, I actually didn't mind being in the car with him again. Just out of curiosity. For the same reason, I took his "Slim Shady LP" that day and listened to it right until midnight forgetting about anything else.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>f you actually enjoyed the story, please, let me know with the comment or like so I have some encouragement to continue:3</p><p>I am also opened for any criticism and suggestions.</p><p>Anyway, I hope that you are all safe on quarantine. Thank you for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Basketball and other no less interesting games</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I was a bit disappointed with the way the next few days went by. I was trying to persuade myself that the reason for that was a lack of events but to speak the truth, that was only a consequence. The main problem was that I didn't see Marshall Mathers that much. However, that's something I preferred not to think of fooling myself with bad excuses.</p><p>Two days in a row I went to the studio to work with the driver that Paul sent for me because it turned out to be that Marshall had some personal stuff with his kids to deal with and couldn't pick me up those mornings. Paul reassured me that it was a temporary thing because he was very much confident about the fact that our rides together to work could have a huge impact on the articles I had to write. I didn't know, however, if he was aware of the "rules" that Marshall started for both of us which excluded that exact impact.</p><p>I had a chance to meet Eminem himself in the studio but those were only quick nods and small, unimportant greetings. And I wasn't really sure if he even paid attention to my presence at that point. Paul reassured me once again saying that Marshall was extra busy. And I wouldn't say I was disappointed for that kind of situation because less contact meant less nervousness and problems. But I had to admit that I would rather have some kind of interaction than nothing at all.</p><p>The good news was, however, Mr Porter or Denaun how he preferred me to call him, returned from the trip to New York and we were introduced to each other by Paul. Luckily, I did my research on the D12 thing and his producer skills which gave me a few topics to talk to him about. Denaun came across as a friendly type of person who was a good, old and loyal friend of Marshall and it was really appealing about him. As well as Royce, he was nice to me and thanks to him I listened to both of D12 albums on the weekend and actually enjoyed them.</p><p>When Monday came I was at the studio working. Around midday, I went out of my cabinet to see if I could find Denaun or Royce to have lunch together but both of them were nowhere to be seen. Paul was somewhere on the meeting and I hadn't see Marshall that day yet so I stopped near the secretary to ask her about where everyone was.</p><p>'Hey, um... Do you have any idea where I can find Royce or Denaun?' I started a conversation hesitantly looking at secretary's neutral expression. </p><p>Her name was Camilla and Royce told me that she'd worked there for some long time and Marshall appreciated her for not talking too much and doing her job well. From my perspective, though, she looked a bit distant as if she was afraid that someone would ruin her personal space. Being a pretty woman, I wondered what Camilla's personality was like.</p><p>'Yes, I do' she answered quietly raising her glance at me and brushing her hand through the blond hair in habitual motion. How did it remain so perfectly shaped every time?</p><p>'So, will you open to me this horrible secret?' I tried to give her a small friendly smile but judging by her expression she wasn't really feeling it. I shouldn't have tried.</p><p>'Mr Mathers, Mr Denaun and Mr Royce are on the basketball court behind the building. They are having a break' the way she pronounced that was almost humiliating. Her glance was attentive but unpleasant as if she suspected me of some criminal actions, so I had an urge to escape the secretary's presence as soon as possible.</p><p>'Thanks' I mumbled awkwardly and made my way to the exit in order to find the mysterious court. What was wrong with her? Or did I have some problems with my communication skills since they didn't work with Eminem either?</p><p>It got me a little uneasy that Marshall would be there but I hadn't seen him all weekend and hadn't talked to him since photoshoot. I'm not gonna lie I was hoping to do that. Also, asking Royce and Denaun to go with me on lunch was a perfect cover.</p><p>When I found the basketball court all three of them were already there. I could hear some swearing as the game between them was going hard. Marshall's slim but strong figure in a sleeveless black shirt and shorts was fast and ruthless while Royce and Denaun were trying to create some competition for him. All of them were a bit sweaty but serious and focused on the game as if they were playing an NBA match. Kids.</p><p>'Suck my dick, losers!' Marshall exclaimed victoriously watching the ball going right in the net above Royce's and Denaun's heads. 'Years go by and you learn nothing'.</p><p>'Oh, shut up, Mr Marshall Jordan. One day you'll lose and we'll laugh at you with no mercy' Denaun answered with a clear annoyance in his tone. </p><p>'Oh yeah, and that will happen when I and Mariah come back together' Marshall stated smugly and I could see a shameless smirk on his face from the distance. Royce burst into laughter.</p><p>Oh, right, that story about him and Mariah Carey. Sounded a bit fantastic, but I was convinced that was true. I mean, it just felt like it.</p><p>'Ella? Is that you? Come here' Royce spotted me after a minute waking me up from my slumber of thoughts. I came closer to the small bench for an audience and his face painted a smile towards me.</p><p>'Didn't want to interrupt you, you seemed so wrapped up in the game' I answered with a small tease in my voice as Denaun and Royce came all the way to me and Marshall went to grab the ball.</p><p>'Fuck basketball, this game sucks' Denaun told me sitting on the bench with a pissed off expression and grabbing a bottle of water.</p><p>'Ella, don't pay too much attention' Royce said with a friendly smile sitting on the bench right next to me. </p><p>'Yeah, because we all know that not the game sucks but Denaun' I heard Marshall's voice not far away and raising my head found his figure standing in front of me. All of us except Denaun shared a chuckle. 'What you, came to play with us?' his tone was just as low as all the previous days but this time it was an unexpected but direct shot at me. A pair of blue eyes were hiding in a frown giving me a rather cold greeting while long fingers of his were playing with a ball in his hands. Well, hello, Marshall Mathers.</p><p>'No, how could I? I heard that there was some Jordan junior or something and I'm not going to compete with such talents' a sarcasm slipped through my voice answering back. I was a bit nervous that I couldn't keep an easy attitude in Marshall's presence but Royce and Denaun felt like my support group.</p><p>'Spare me a sarcasm in your voice' he gave a snort of contempt to me as an answer, and I could feel the guys watching us attentively. 'Note this for your articles: there are two things in this world I am good at, and those are basketball and rap. Everybody knows that'.</p><p>'I had no intention to doubt that' I responded and Marshall gave me his famous well-made smile.</p><p>'Speaking of rap' Denaun interrupted us and I was kind of thankful for that. 'Ella, what will you say about D12 albums I recommended you to listen?'</p><p>'Well, you all know I'm only getting acquainted with hip hop in general but I actually enjoyed it'.</p><p>'See, Royce? I knew she would like D12' Denaun boasted about my answer.</p><p>'Ella, you'd better listen to my albums and then say' Royce ignored his response.</p><p>'I will do that, of course' I reassured him quickly. 'But jokes aside, those 2 albums are really good. I'm sorry about your friend Proof, though'.</p><p>'We appreciate this, Ella' Denaun told me and all the guys nodded in agreement. A shade of sadness covered their faces with a memory. I felt a little bit guilty for bringing that up. But I had to be respectful.</p><p>'And so, you listened to "My Band", can you name all the members of D12 group?' Royce dared me with a smirk on his face and even Marshall let us see his small grin. </p><p>'Well, let me try, I guess' I shrugged with a fake thoughtful expression. 'First of all, Proof' I said and they nodded. 'Then you, Denaun, aka Mr Porter, aka Kon Artis' I told him with a smile and he gave me a wink in agreement. 'Then it's Bizzare, of course. And Swifty McVay' they chuckled pleasantly surprised. 'We don't forget about Kuniva and...' I acted like I forgot something.</p><p>'And?' Marshall gave me an astonished look. Yeah, Mr Mathers, I can behave like you too.</p><p>'And there was that blond guy I don't really remember the name of' I decided to make it a little play. Royce and Denaun were watching it like a favourite movie chuckling to each other. 'It was something with M... Like Emam, or MM. For some reason, I can't remember' I shrugged helplessly looking directly in Marshall's eyes. For the first time, I saw a playful spark in them shining in the light of the bright sun. He was looking at me and a small but precious smirk was on his lips.</p><p>It was like playing a game. No less interesting than basketball. When the sentences are false but so fun to pronounce and everybody knows that it's just a play but doesn't stop. That teasing looks and unimportant phrases. Marshall had a competitive spirit, for sure, so maybe, in the game of words between us, I could try to win.</p><p>'Oh, so maybe, we all could give you a hint on that?' Marshall asked me with raised eyebrows as if he was giving me a warning. I could almost admire the view of his playful expression.</p><p>'Oh, doesn't really matter' I pronounced making a careless gesture with my hand towards Denaun and Royce who were absorbing every word with foolish smiles on their faces. 'I skipped all his verses in the songs anyway' was all I said in the innocent voice with the neutral shrug fixing my hair in a habitual, ordinary way giving Marshall the cutest fake look I could think of. His blue eyes gifted me with a twinkle.</p><p>'Oooooooh' I heard Denaun and Royce giving each other high five and laughing endlessly. </p><p>'Oh yeah?' Marshall wasn't ready to give up letting the ball in his hands fall to the ground and placing his hands on his hips. 'And I think that you enjoyed every fucking second of his verses because the guy is talented as fuck' his voice became smug and confident.</p><p>'I see that you are a stan of his. I don't see why, though. I heard he is an asshole. Denaun, how did you let him in a group?' I enjoyed talking as if we were some old friends that could joke around. I wasn't really sure if I was allowed to speak like that but the smirk on Marshall's face that he wasn't even trying to hide anymore told me that I could use one more minute for that game. </p><p>'That was out of pity, not gonna lie' Denaun somehow managed to answer me seriously and received a smack on the shoulder from Marshall immediately.</p><p>'I'll show you pity' he laughed along with us.</p><p>'Uh, Ella, you are my favourite person right now' Denaun told me when we stopped laughing. 'I have even forgotten that you wanted to say something when you came'.</p><p>'Yeah' I couldn't hold back a smile at all of them. Marshall's glance was on me attentively and once again I felt nervous. 'I actually wanted to invite you to lunch with me if you are free' the message was sent to Denaun and Royce but deep inside I hoped that Marshall would say something about it and would like to go. Why all of a sudden I wanted it?</p><p>'Sure, give us twenty minutes to change and we'll go' Royce got up from the bench answering.</p><p>'Right, wait for us!' Denaun added and both of them made their way to the building discussing the conversation and laughing, completely forgetting about me and Marshall.</p><p>'So...' I started getting up from the bench when we were left alone. It felt a little awkward between us without guys around and I didn't know what to do.</p><p>'You talk too much' I heard a velvety tone of his looking at Marshall from under my eyelashes. He still had a small grin on his face and boy, I enjoyed it.</p><p>'Oh, I'm sorry, I'm trying to talk as much as I can since when we are in the car I'm not allowed to' I answered wryly trying to test the waters, see if we could actually play that game all by ourselves. Hearing a soft chuckle from him, I knew we could.  </p><p>'So, you are a smartass?' he dared me putting his hands in the pockets of his shorts. How lovely it was not acting like enemies. Was it for long, though?</p><p>'I'm trying to be one' I let him see a soft smirk of mine. 'I just wanted to mention one more thing. I actually liked the blond guy's Slim Shady LP'.</p><p>'Oh, did you?' Marshall looked at me sarcastically giving me a side glance full of suspicion. 'I'll tell him your compliments. I'm sure, he will be very pleased to hear that' something delicious was in the way he emphasised the word "very". However, I wondered how many years in prison I would get for committing that awful crime of liking the moment we shared. Probably, at least twenty years. </p><p>'No doubt about that' I told him a bit more serious than I wanted and my voice sounded quiet. My glance landed on his neck and I just felt a little lost. I was afraid he noticed.  'Do you want to go for lunch with us, though?' I asked him not hoping for a positive answer, I just wanted to relieve the sudden tension after the change of tone.</p><p>'Sorry, not today. I need to train a bit alone to clear the thoughts and then work' was Marshall's answer but the sharp lines of his face were softened by the slightly uncomfortable expression. Just slightly.</p><p>I shouldn't have asked, I thought. We just shared a little banter, there was nothing more to expect.</p><p>'Okay,' I said having a burning desire to leave the court in some magical way. Disappearing in the dust or teleport to the other dimension. Just not to feel so foolishly. 'Then I guess, I should go to guys, they'll be looking for me'.</p><p>I don't know what I was hoping for. The conversation was over and I had to find Royce and Denaun but looking at the details of the relaxed confident posture of the man in front of me I just wanted at least something else from him to say. Something totally unimportant, it didn't matter. Just not to end that positive moment we somehow managed to share. Perhaps, it was impossible.</p><p>He nodded silently grabbing the ball and I turned around to make my way to the building. Why did it have to end so awkward? I should have gone with Royce and Denaun, why did I stay? </p><p>'Oh, I forgot to say' all of a sudden I heard behind my back. I think that was something I expected the least to happen. Wanted but wasn't prepared for.</p><p>'Yes?' I turned around to find Marshall throwing the ball in the net and not looking at me. </p><p>'I'll pick you up tomorrow at 9. Be ready' what?</p><p>'I thought you were busy these days' I mumbled loud enough for him to hear.</p><p>'Not anymore' was all I heard Marshall saying. And his tone enveloped my hearing. A risky thing to let it happen.</p><p>Standing there, in the middle of that big basketball court it felt like the game had only started. We just had to take the ball and set the timer. And even though I excluded any possibility of that game actually happening, I somehow knew that between us it couldn't be in any other way. I promised myself to fight the urge to play for as long as it was possible for me to handle.</p><p>'So, Ella, what were you talking about there with Marshall?' Denaun looked at me slyly acting as if he was a detective and I was a criminal when I found him and Royce waiting for me. Nevertheless, I had to spend those twenty years in prison. </p><p>'Don't disturb her, man' Royce defended me in a habit of his. </p><p>'It's all okay' I smiled reassuringly at both of them. 'Nothing special. He told me that he would pick me up tomorrow'.</p><p>'Okay, okay' Denaun answered with a grin on his lips. What was he thinking about? 'It's just I and Royce saw some spark there between you two'.</p><p>'I...' I tried to interrupt him in a fear to reveal a blush on my cheeks. I couldn't let that happen. There wasn't a spark! Or... </p><p>'Don't worry' Denaun didn't let me finish sharing a knowing smile with Royce beside him. 'Just know that we approve it' and Royce nodded in agreement. Silly.</p><p>'You two are like my friend Diana, absolutely ridiculous' I told them in frustration but not in a bad way. They laughed at my response. 'Whatever, let's finally eat something'.</p><p>'Yesss, I want a huge burger with fries' Royce said excitedly, almost dreamingly.</p><p>'Doesn't really sound like lunch' I raised my eyebrow.</p><p>'I couldn't care less. Let's go!'</p><p>I followed Royce and Denaun without any further argument. However, I couldn't really focus on my meal. While guys were devouring what seemed like tones of fries, I was intensely thinking as my mind became a recorder that was replaying every detail about that conversation on a basketball court. I wish I could change the tape but why would I if the moment was so pleasant to think of? I was just hoping that it wasn't one of those signs that tell you that you become interested in somebody. It wasn't, right?</p><p>The rest of the day I was trying to avoid that thought at all costs. But sitting on the passenger's seat of the car that was driving me back home, I let one single image to slip into my mind. No surprise that it was Marshall Mathers' smirking expression and the glance of clear blue eyes that for the first time since we'd met each other was fully concentrated on my face.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey, guys, new chapter! Huge thanks to everybody who left comments and likes on previous ones. Means a world to me since I see that my work is not in vain.</p><p>I really hope that you liked the new chapter so please, let me know what you think by clicking like or leaving a comment so I know. It gives me encouragement to continue.</p><p>Love you, be safe on quarantine:3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Casanova</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>'Hi, my name is, what? My name is, who? My name is, chka-chka, Slim Shady...' I was humming the words loudly slipping into my blue high-waisted jeans and grabbing my make up from the nightstand. I stopped near the mirror to put some mascara and eyeshadows since I preferred my eyes to pop and picked a mat nude lipstick. My hips were swinging to the melody of the song which was more like some random movements than the actual dancing. Good morning, world.</p><p>I was feeling quite strange after that moment between me and Marshall on the court and somehow had an urge to prolong whatever state of human relationship we appeared to be that day. I didn't know how make up or anything appearance-related could help that happen but I was feeling a need to do at least something since I had no idea what else could play a role of panacea for me. I was afraid of it being just a one-time thing as if we spent the night together and I didn't want to wake up in the bed alone. Wait, what's the metaphor all about?</p><p>Understanding that my thoughts suddenly took a wrong turn, I grabbed my things and left the apartment catching myself on a risky feeling that I was looking forward to seeing Marshall. So, when I saw his car parked near my building, I tried to gather myself and behave naturally. Oh, when someone decides to act naturally, it doesn't happen that way, does it?</p><p>'Good morning' I greeted Marshall when I sat in the car, giving him my usual nice but not too nice look which should have been suited the situation fine whatever mood he was in. God, I was thinking too much about such unimportant details all of a sudden. As if I was preparing myself for an important job interview.</p><p>'Morning' Marshall answered calmly looking at me briefly, and I could tell he probably saw the unwanted effect of nervousness on my face because a little soft smirk hid in the corner of his lips. I didn't know if that was actually a good or bad sign but it was definitely better than arguing. 'I don't know if Paul told you, but today I have an interview on TV so now we're going there' he added when the engine started and I was about to keep silent all the way to the studio. However, it was much more interesting since I had no idea about the interview.</p><p>'Okay, cool. I didn't know about it, but whatever' I told him carelessly, and the atmosphere in the car felt almost normal. Marshall simply nodded at me in response, and we spent the rest of the ride in unusually comfortable silence. Sounds quite unreal, right?</p><p>When we arrived at the destination, I saw a huge building where the set was located. Marshall gave me a gesture to follow him since it wasn't the first time for him to be there. I wondered how many interviews Eminem had in his life and if that number was more than one thousand. That would be mind-blowing.</p><p>'I like interviews in the actual studios with the audience a lot better' Marshall told me when we stepped in the elevator of the building. His low tone sounded a lot deeper in the small space of the elevator and it felt like something unfamiliar. Or was it because he spoke first?</p><p>'To what do I owe the pleasure? You're starting the conversation, that's new' I cocked an eyebrow at him in a sarcastic way not wasting a chance to comment. Maybe, that was a bit dangerous to talk to Eminem himself like that but why not? He'd acted like an asshole some days before and I didn't want to let it slip that easily. First of all, we were people and then worldwide stars and journalists.</p><p>'Oh, that's because you seem to forget about your responsibilities and I'm trying to save the situation' Marshall answered with a pure smugness in his tone as if my words didn't affect him at all. Throwing a look at the space between us I suddenly noticed that we could almost touch with shoulders and elevator seemed to be slow like a snail. Cool.</p><p>'How nice of you. Didn't know you were caring about the articles that much' I told him with a mocking note in my voice feeling some kind of pleasant tension between us.</p><p>'Oh, no, it's not about that' he said as if I was missing something completely obvious. 'I'll make sure to have my benefit. You see, I'm a businessman as well' Marshall nodded reassuringly and gave me a well-made businessman serious expression.</p><p>'Oh, you are? That's unexpected. How many talents do you have to show?'</p><p>'More than you can handle ' he smirked all full of himself as the door of the elevator opened. My heart raced for a moment not knowing what to answer, but Marshall was totally unbothered going out of the elevator and practically forcing me to chase after him. That should have been an exciting day.</p><p>When we finally got on the set, Paul was already waiting for us. As Marshall went to the dressing room to get ready I had time to observe everything around.</p><p>The studio looked massive with places for the audience and a couch under the huge screen to sit on. It was some sort of musical talk show with a light format and probably lots of people watching it on TV. A big crew of stuff was rushing everywhere setting up the equipment and getting everything ready for the show. I smiled to myself recalling in my memory the atmosphere of the "Wave" publishing. It wasn't that different from what I could see in front of myself.</p><p>The hosts of the show appeared on the set after a while talking to the director. It was a dark-skinned guy in his thirties with a soft expression but focused look which from my perspective made him handsome in some way along with the casual style of his clothing.</p><p>His partner in crime was a woman probably the same age as him with a rather attractive appearance. She had a raven, almost glossy hair in some big waves laying on her bare shoulders as she was wearing a sleeveless dress with straps which wasn't fancy but created a teasing effect with a little help of her middle-height hills. Watching her moving and a touch of rosy gloss on her lips and long lashes, I felt a little uncomfortable looking down at my jeans and white sneakers.</p><p>It is fair to say, though, it wasn't my job to host the show but... Nevermind, I tried not to think much of it. It's just everyone in some way wants to feel attractive and for some reason, in comparison to her, I didn't.</p><p>I didn't have to wait for long as the show started in 15 minutes. The audience was ready and the hosts put on their perfect friendly smiles which even seemed genuine even though could be masterfully imitated as well. I found out that the guy's name was Troy and the woman was Roxy. They made a small talk greeting the audience and the raven-haired hostess smiled cunningly:</p><p>'Today we have a special guest for you. Ladies and gentlemen, make some applauds for Eminem!' she turned her right way waiting for him and the audience got way too excited when Marshall's confident toned figure appeared in the studio.</p><p>His expression was serious and a bit frowned in a habit of his but I could spot a small grin trying to make its way to Marshall's lips no matter how hard he was trying to suppress it. It was enjoyable to watch his torso in a long sleeve grey shirt which was hugging him closely and dark jeans. I caught myself staring for a minute thinking that it was very unlucky that in the car he had a jacket on. Nearly to the blush on my cheeks, I preferred Marshall in that fucking grey shirt.</p><p>He greeted the audience with a nod shaking Troy's hand and pulling Roxy into a hug which I could easily tell she liked a lot since it was way too long for a greeting gesture. Paul had told me before the start that Marshall had already been on that show in 2006 so the hosts knew him but I didn't know that with Roxy it would be that way. Watching Marshall's hands hugging her waist, I could feel an uncomfortable feeling inside me. Probably, because I didn't know what it was like. And I couldn't hide from myself the thought that I wanted to know.</p><p>'Em, it's really nice having you here after a few years' Troy started the conversation sitting on the couch. Roxy sat near him and Marshall a bit further from her.</p><p>'Appreciate it, man' Marshall answered nodding and sitting comfortably as if he was at home preparing to watch a TV on the couch. His body movements were relaxed and that was a lot more appealing than I could confess it was. 'It's nice being here'.</p><p>'Yes, I totally agree with Troy. I'm sure I can speak for all the ladies in the studio that you look hot as hell after the big break in your career. The same we can say also about your new album' Roxy smiled playfully giving Marshall one of those looks that weren't shameless but could tell a lot more than words. Her brown eyes sparkled discreetly, and it was done undoubtedly in order to be spotted.</p><p>'Well, everybody knows I'm awesome' Marshall joked making a cocky face and receiving Roxy's attention with a glance of blue eyes that however, couldn't be described as promising. More like accepting. 'You look beautiful yourself' was all he added as a response making it seem like not a big deal but the message was clear. Marshall thought she was attractive. And she was, as a matter of a fact. But I would rather he didn't pay that much attention to it. Why? Oh, don't even start on that.</p><p>'You know how to make me blush' Roxy didn't wait with an answer and I bet that Troy felt like a third wheel that moment. And surprisingly, so did I along with the whole studio which, unlike me, received it with applauds.</p><p>'Hate to interrupt you two but I'm sure that Eminem fans would like to hear more about the "Relapse" album' Troy said with a small grin and I didn't know I could be so thankful for a single phrase. Somehow I knew that it would be kind of hard for me to bear more flirting between Marshall and the hostess even though I was convinced that they won't do that long on the show. 'Tell us more about the concept of the album'.</p><p>'Well, a lot of it was inspired by some serial killer documentaries' Marshall answered changing his tone to a bit more serious. 'You'll find a lot of references on the album. But also there is some fun involved as usually with a "We Made You" record and a completely opposite to that song called "Beautiful" which is produced by me'.</p><p>Watching Marshall talking about his music was fascinating in some way. I could see him being so passionate about creating it, so captivated by the structure of the lyrics and producing the tracks. He didn't give too much information but managed to explain the album in the only way possible to make everyone interested. With more and more questions from the hosts, Eminem was revealing his creative side which was outstanding to look at. And I had to admit, I didn't expect it to be that way.</p><p>'We are very happy to know that you are finally back in the game with such a good project' Roxy spoke when all the questions were done. Her long tanned legs in those pink hills were trying to be as close as possible to Marshall's vision in a lazy but seducing manner that could only be noticed by a careful observer. And in that case, I was that observer which felt more like a curse of mine. Marshall, on the other hand, seemed to be fully aware of her actions not responding to it but not denying either. 'Now let's play a little game with short questions where you will have to give fast but honest answers'.</p><p>'Okay, I'll try' Marshall answered carelessly. It was one of those absolutely meaningless games on the shows like that which couldn't give any sort of important information but were fun to watch. With Roxy asking the questions, though, I wasn't that eager to see it happen.</p><p>'So, let's begin' she announced looking at the questions on the paper. 'What is your favourite song right now?'</p><p>'Any song on my new album, obviously' he made a self-confident face and everybody laughed in response. I caught on myself on a chuckle.</p><p>'Okay, next. What is your favourite sport?' oh, Roxy, I knew that one. For a minute I felt myself like a kind of kid in a school who knows the answer when the teacher asks the whole class a question but is too shy to raise a hand.</p><p>'Basketball, for sure' Marshall told her and I wished he would give me a look that minute recalling the events of the previous day. But unsurprisingly, he didn't.</p><p>'Perfect day for you?'</p><p>'With my kids' he answered with no hesitation and the audience went with the "oh, he is so cute" expression. I didn't swoon that much but couldn't deny the fact that it was adorable. Marshall Mathers had to be a very good father.</p><p>'Okay, the last one' Roxy licked her rosy lips and I could tell it was intentional. Oh, God. 'What are you focused on right now?'</p><p>'Like in this moment?' Marshall cocked an eyebrow at her in a very dangerous way as if warning Roxy about the answer. A lazy arm of his went to the backrest of the couch in light-minded action.</p><p>'As you wish. It could be in general as well' she answered smiling at him expectedly. Why was I watching that so carefully? There wasn't anything inappropriate or what could be considered as a wrong behaviour on TV but I just didn't like that little interaction between them. That was the main reason I wanted the show to end as soon as possible.</p><p>'Then if to talk about right now, I'm definitely focused on your beauty' Marshall told her as if Roxy asked him about the weather giving her simple careless look. The audience clapped loudly interpreting that as one of Marshall's meaningless jokes, and he nodded chuckling as if proving that thought right. However, I swallowed something slightly bitter in my throat thinking about how dumb of me was to suddenly have that kind of reaction. They flirted, so what?</p><p>'Okay, now I'm completely red hearing that so, Troy, you should wrap this up yourself. Don't even bargain on me' Roxy pronounced with a smitten smile but I could see a satisfied foxy spark in her eyes as she moved closer to where Marshall sat. From the perspective of the viewer, now it was a natural thing to do.</p><p>'Well, let it be' Troy said smiling at the camera. 'Marshall, thank you so much for being here today and giving us a little of your time. Hope to see you soon'.</p><p>'Indeed, man' Marshall confirmed and the audience burst with applauds for what seemed like the hundredth time. 'Thank you for having me'.</p><p>'I and Roxy, as always, will see you tomorrow morning on the new episode of our show' he waved goodbye at the camera along with Roxy and Marshall. I exhaled in relief.</p><p>'Finally, it's over. I'm so hungry for some reason' I heard Paul commenting behind my back with a straight serious face as if trying to figure that out for real.</p><p>'What a truly mysterious thing' I suppressed a smile at him adding a small note of friendly sarcasm in my tone and Paul laughed in response.</p><p>I turned my head back to the setup and saw the same crew of the stuff rushing everywhere just like before the ether. Finding Marshall's figure once again I saw him stopping near the audience to sign autographs and then, giving everybody a wave and probably at least twenty of "thank you" he headed to the dressing room. Roxy followed him after a while as if having something on her mind judging by the cunning expression on her face. Oh no, I thought. Well, it wasn't any of my business, right?</p><p>I was almost ready not to see Marshall that day again imagining him disappearing from the set with his hand around Roxy's waist but after nearly 20 minutes he appeared in front of us in a good mood and some weird glint in his eyes. I, on the opposite side, had my state of mind on a different page.</p><p>'What's up, folks? I'm ready to go' Marshall told me and Paul. I couldn't be happier about leaving. The thought of Roxy and the way she went to Marshall's dressing room, though, refused to disappear from my mind.</p><p>'We were talking with Lili about getting something to eat. Are you with us?' Paul asked him as we were going towards the exit. I was pretty sure the answer would be "no".</p><p>'Yeah, why not?' I heard Marshall saying and I raised my head to make sure that it was him who pronounced that. Unbelievable as it was, there was no mistake.</p><p>We all sat in Marshall's car since it was more comfortable that way and the whole ride Paul and Marshall were discussing some business-related things. I found myself not having a desire to speak much so it was perfect for me.</p><p>Later, sitting on the terrace of the small restaurant which Paul chose for us and trying to pick some pasta from the plate in front of me, I was travelling with my thoughts somewhere else. But as I paid attention again, the conversation suddenly became a bit more interesting for me:</p><p>'So, Marshall, what was up with that Roxy chick?' Paul asked with a grin leaning to the backrest of the chair and having a sip of water from the glass. Unlike me, Paul managed to finish his meal in a few minutes.</p><p>'Nothing' Marshall smirked in the response hiding a note of satisfaction in his lips. I was sitting beside Paul and Marshall was in front of us. I could watch his expression carefully, read his eyes and I had a feeling that was because he was actually letting me do it. 'Smart girl who knows what she wants'.</p><p>'I see that' Paul chuckled reading between the lines. 'So, what, have you asked her to go out with you?'</p><p>'Yes, at the weekend' he answered making a sip of his drink just like Paul, and I felt something unpleasant in my stomach. Immediately, I did everything to get my act together trying to avoid any sign of it on my face continuing eating my pasta and dropping my gaze to the plate. Right, they were going out together. Cool?</p><p>'I knew it. She was ready to devour you with her eyes' Paul said and we heard a sound of his phone ringing which happened hundreds of times a day and he looked at the screen with a frown. 'Oh, shit, I have to go to answer' he stood up from his place and headed somewhere private. All of a sudden I understood that I and Marshall were left alone. Damn, why exactly that minute when I was trying to put up with my reaction?</p><p>'So, where is this big mouth of yours?' I heard Marshall's low tone and felt a pair of his blue piercing eyes on me. Oh, no, why does he have to make a conversation now?</p><p>'I thought you didn't like me talking too much. I considered it' I pronounced in a colourless voice lifting my eyes at him and meeting his glance across the table. A fresh spring wind was blowing me around cooling my face and noticing sharp lines of Marshall's features defining, I knew he had something on his mind.</p><p>'Oh, really? Since when? Today in the elevator you talked differently. Or what, you were so stunned by my final comment?' a dare made itself prominent in his glance challenging me for a sharp answer. Did he like me playing the game of words with him or it was unintentionally?</p><p>'No, maybe, I just didn't want to take part in the discussion of your Casanova adventures' I snapped a little too quickly and instantly met a face of my own defeat with a loud chuckle of his filling the air. Damn it, I shouldn't have exposed myself in a such an immature way.</p><p>'If I was a Casanova, you would end up in my bed the first day of your work' he answered with a shameless smirk on his lips and I felt a shiver running down my spine not being able to get my eyes away from his no matter how hard it was to look into them that moment. His comment was too arrogant and unexpected and I found myself taken aback by Marshall's directness. I wasn't used to talking that way.</p><p>'Do I look like that kind of person to you?' I said, my voice sharp and offended. The fingers of my right hand were nervously wrinkling a perfect white napkin on the table.</p><p>'And do I really look like a Casanova to you?' Marshall asked scowling a bit as if not believing in what I was trying to accuse him of. And to be honest, I didn't think he was Casanova, I blurted it out not on purpose. For some reason, I just didn't like that whole Roxy situation. 'I'm not a "serious relationship" type but I'm not fucking every chick I see either' he continued when I didn't answer. I could see that it was somehow funny for him. Even the scowl wasn't his usual one.</p><p>'It's not my business, anyway' I answered turning my head away from him to the tablecloth still feeling his eyes watching me carefully.</p><p>'Sure' I could almost physically feel Marshall's smirk in his teasing tone. Not being able to resist, I looked directly at him once again expecting the conversation to be over. 'Let's not make you blush by discussing it' he pronounced in the most complacent way possible giving me his best smirk and I felt my face turning red as I opened my mouth to answer. However, Paul's figure which appeared right that minute prevented that from happening and gave Marshall a chance to win that little argument. Right, marvellous.</p><p>'Sorry, it was a very important call' Paul told us sitting at the table again but I was eager to leave and escape Marshall's victorious expression.</p><p>'It's okay' Marshall answered. 'We had a very captivating conversation here' his brief giggling glance found me again and that was when I couldn't bear it.</p><p>'Paul, do we have anything more planned today? I have some business to deal with' right, Lili, smooth. Marshall could easily spot your lame-ass lie.</p><p>'No, we don't have anything. You can go if you need' Paul said a bit surprised by my sudden urge to leave. Marshall seemed to enjoy watching it too much.</p><p>'Thank you, see you tomorrow' I grabbed my things as fast as I could and not even giving Marshall a nod, made my way to the exit of the restaurant.</p><p>Leaving, I heard a chuckle from Marshall's lips and Paul's question:</p><p>'What did you say to her? She ran away as if she'd seen a ghost'.</p><p>'Oh, something she didn't want to hear' was all he answered forcing me to curse to myself and fasten my pace.</p><p>When I made it to around the corner, though, I stopped to calm my breath. I was feeling a bit angry at myself for letting Marshall's words to slip so easily. But no matter how pissed off I was for him making me so nervous and causing a blush on my cheeks, I couldn't deny the fact that there was still something unbearably exciting about playing this game with Marshall. I hadn't felt anything like that for a while and it caught me off guard with a strange feeling. The feeling that, surprisingly, I actually wanted to keep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey, you:) New chapter. This time it's a bit longer than usual but I hope that's okay. I hope that you are all good at quarantine as well.</p><p>Please, tell me your thoughts on the fic by leaving like or comment. That will encourage me to continue and post frequently. Huge thanks to everyone who already supports it, I really appreciate it! Much love to all of you:3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Work late</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning didn't go in an installed routine of Marshall picking me up. And surprisingly, it wasn't a result of his asshole move or a busy schedule which had happened before. That time I was the one to blame for the changes, and you could easily call that negligent and risky regarding my job. But it wasn't that definite.</p><p>It's worth mentioning that I was getting more and more into Marshall's music trying to study it and understand him better, draw some parallels between his behaviour and art to make the articles the best way possible. Moreover, I couldn't hide the fact that I started to enjoy it a lot, listening to the albums whenever I had a chance to. So, soon I was well familiar with the "Infinite" and  "Slim Shady LP" records that the guy from the music shop recommended me. Now I was in a desperate need of the next one.</p><p>That's what we could call an official version of why that morning I texted Marshall not to come, saying that I had some urgent thing to do and that I would be in the studio right in time going there all by myself. That was the first time we had some direct texting interaction without Paul but instead of some questions that I was expecting him to ask, Marshall answered with an "OK", leaving me with a slight disappointment.</p><p>The real reason was, however, partly different. I surely needed to get an Eminem's next CD because I had no idea how late the musical shop closed and if I would be able to go there after work. But mostly it was because I was feeling a bit uncomfortable, thinking about sitting with Marshall in the same car all alone the morning after my infamous defeat in the restaurant and a shameful escape after it. Sounds dramatic, right?</p><p>I was definitely overthinking the situation but also had an urge to take a breath from Marshall's presence for one morning. Not because I didn't like it. But because I had to regain my strength just in case we had another banter. No matter how funny it sounded, I knew that I must have shown him that I wasn't that easy to get embarrassed and taken a few shots back just to make things clear. Doing that was a lot easier when I had a perfect excuse at my service.</p><p>So, I took a taxi and went straight to the music shop I'd visited the first day of my work on this project. Right through the glass window of the shop, I saw a familiar figure of the worker with a simple name Josh sitting behind the counter. I could bet a hundred bucks that he was listening to indie again. Something like "The Strokes".</p><p>'Good morning' I greeted entering the shop, closing the door softly and meeting a pair of honey eyes lightning up at the sight of me. As I assumed, he was listening to some indie music I wasn't familiar with and drinking what smelled like a morning coffee with milk. I felt a desire to have a cup as well.</p><p>'Morning' Josh answered getting up from the spot, and a pleasant smile touched his lips, giving me a feeling that he was actually waiting for my comeback. Cute? 'So, how's been your Eminem journey so far?' he asked making a conversation with a light playfulness in his glance.</p><p>'It had its ups and downs' I chuckled coming closer to the counter and avoiding his eyes. I was never comfortable with attention. To be completely fair, I was so used to feel unworthy with Jake, that it seemed almost impossible for someone to get interested in me. Damaged much, isn't it?</p><p>'Seems like a hella roller coaster to me' he joked a bit shyly, and I caught myself on a thought that Marshall behaved the opposite way around Roxy. If he had ever been shy, now it was lost and not found. But I shouldn't have recalled his name in comparison to the guy in front of me.</p><p>'That's right. And since I enjoyed it a lot, I was hoping that you could help me with the next CD' I answered not being sure if I should have flirted with him. Josh was surely a handsome guy with a sweet attitude but... I don't know.</p><p>'Sure, I'm at your service' Josh said immediately, probably feeling himself in a position of a Superman who could rescue me from a highly dangerous problem of looking for Eminem CD. I wasn't a perfect option for a Lois Lane role, though. 'I have to admit, I was waiting for you to come, Ella'.</p><p>'Oh,' I could feel a blush colouring my cheeks, suddenly being aware of the fact how disgustingly cheesy it all looked and trying to come up with an appropriate response. God, I needed some courses for interacting with men to attend. 'I'm flattered to hear that, of course. Though, I'm kind of ungrateful customer. I come rarely and perplex you with the things I need, not telling any background behind it'.</p><p>'No, that's totally cool. I'm just starting to suspect that you are involved in some CIA project' he grinned at me, taking the last sip of his coffee and letting his glance wandering the shelf with CDs around him. 'I was talking to my brother after your visit again so your next stop is "Marshall Mathers LP". Legendary stuff, I have to say. 1.78 million copies sold in its first week'.</p><p>'Yeah, I've read that online. Had a lot of time searching'.</p><p>'I had to guess that' he nodded grabbing the right CD from the shelf. 'You know, even though I'm not a fan, I would like to see a man of such talent in real life. I'm sure, he has an outstanding personality'.</p><p>'He surely has' I mumbled to myself with a sarcastic note in my voice, remembering our banter from the day before again. Oh Josh, if you only knew.</p><p>'What?' he turned his face to me again with an album in his hands.</p><p>'Nothing' I brushed away the topic as if it was something insignificant. I couldn't tell him I was working with a man on the cover of the album himself. I never was the one to be a blabber. Besides, we had a contract. 'So, I should take this one and maybe, one more?'</p><p>'No, you'd better grab one and come back for more later' Josh smiled charmingly, and I followed a lock of his chestnut hair falling to his forehead with my glance, silently asking nobody in particular about how the fuck I should have reacted to all of that.</p><p>'Sure, let's do what you say' I answered with just a note of humour in my tone, giving him the money for the CD and taking the album in my hands.</p><p>'Hope that you'll like it as much as previous ones' he chuckled, apparently not fully aware of my confusion about how to act. Guess, in contrast to talking with Marshall, I could handle the situation well. 'May I ask you for a small favour?' oh no, I thought. Here we go.</p><p>'Okay, let's see what I can do' I pronounced raising my brows in anticipation.</p><p>'I'd like to have your number. Don't you mind giving it to me?' Josh's honey eyes were looking at me with a clear hope to hear a positive answer. I could see them sparkling brightly even though the shop wasn't full od sunlight that morning. And I knew I had to give him a credit for trying, not paying attention to the fact that I wasn't really drawn to Josh. Why not try and be just a bit like Marshall? Maybe, Josh was my own version of Roxy. Just a more appropriate one.</p><p>'Yeah, here it is' I took a pencil laying on his counter and wrote the number on a random piece of paper right next to it.</p><p>'Thank you for helping me out' he grinned contentedly, and I nodded in response, heading to the exit, gifting him with an agreeable expression. 'I'll text you!' I heard him say after me.</p><p>Coming outside the shop and trying to catch a taxi to the studio, I thought that Diana would be proud of me. For the first time in forever, I gave my number to someone who could be called a "cute guy" - a perfect option for someone who forgot how to feel desired. Progress, ladies and gentlemen. The only thing was that for some reason, it didn't feel that excited in reality.</p><p>Soon it appeared to be that I chose the wrong day to go to the studio by taxi. I spent nearly two hours in a traffic jam after catching a car and felt absolutely awful about coming late. I didn't want to be looked at as unprofessional. Especially, to Paul. He was nothing but kind and friendly to me so I wanted to be in line with his behaviour. When it came to Marshall, though, I was pretty sure he didn't care, did he?</p><p>Entering the studio, I successfully avoided Camilla's judgemental glance, greeting her briefly and making my way to my office. Paul was nowhere to be seen, and the other staff of the studio didn't pay attention to my presence.</p><p>I was almost ready to get locked up in my office and write for the rest of the day when I saw the door of the recording room opened which had never happened in front of my eyes before. Out of curiosity, I stopped by and took a glimpse at the inside of it. Just like a professional spy would do.</p><p>Not far away I instantly saw Marshall's familiar figure sitting on a chair near the soundboard and holding a pencil in his hand. In front of him, there was a notebook filled with written material which I could catch only a small look at. The other hand of his was laying on a soundboard. Marshall was impatiently tapping his fingers on it which along with the furrowed brows and a brooding expression was telling me that he was intensely thinking about something.</p><p>His jaw was perfectly defined by the poor light of the recording room, and from the distance, I could feel his urge to solve some mysterious puzzle in his head. It was a pity that I couldn't see Marshall's eyes which would certainly help me to find out more of the state of his. I could imagine his glance being stormy in a rush of thoughts or at least, deeply concentrated on something only he knew about. Standing on the threshold of the room, I found the sight alluring to the point where I'd rather stay than go. And unfortunately, I couldn't help but compared it to the morning meeting with Josh.</p><p>'Stop creeping up there like a maniac, Ms Journalist' Marshall raised his head all of a sudden catching me off guard with a loud voice of his and giving me a serious bossy look which was just a cover for the mocking note of his tone. Oh, Marshall, I was a horrible maniac, to say the least.</p><p>'If you don't remember my name, Mr Mathers, then you can just ask and quit thinking of the nicknames. Judging by that one, it's not your strong suit' I pronounced wryly, managing to cope with the element of surprise Marshall forced on me. It was becoming a habit of ours to say "Hi" by starting a banter, and it created that strange feeling of intrigue flying in the air. As if all of it was just anticipation for something bigger and greater which was waiting for us just around the corner.</p><p>'Oh, I was afraid it would be an impolite thing to do' he said sarcastically, watching me carefully with a look of slight tease in his glance.</p><p>'Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. I forgot that being impolite is on your top 5 biggest fears list' I said and received a chuckle of his as a response immediately. Oh damn, music to my ears. 'May I come in? Or I'm not allowed to the inner sanctum?'</p><p>'Come in. I'm not working now anyway. Everybody went to eat something' he answered carelessly, waving a hand in an inviting gesture. I didn't waste a minute and entered the room, coming closer to where he was sitting, trying to observe everything and catch as many details as I could. Marshall's studio was a really impressive one with the newest equipment and a lot of space which made it impressive to the sight. 'Royce and Denaun were waiting for you to go to lunch but you were nowhere to be seen, so we even started to make bets on why you didn't show up in time today' Marshall continued, his smirk prominent in the velvety sound of his voice as my eyes were set on the soundboard.</p><p>'I'm sorry about that' I said sincerely giving him a brief glance, genuinely feeling bad for wasting so much time that day. 'It was because of the terrible traffic in the city'.</p><p>'Get it' Marshall nodded accepting my apology, and I was almost shocked that there was no prickly phrase which he could easily use against me. I appreciated it a lot.</p><p>'What were the best, though?' I raised my eyebrow playfully in order to return the conversation to the teasing manner we both seemed to weirdly enjoy and turning to look at him directly. I regretted it the minute I saw Marshall cunningly licking his lips.</p><p>'Well, Denaun and Royce thought that you wouldn't show up because some trouble happened or you got sick, so now they owe me twenty bucks each' he pronounced with a smug satisfied smirk. 'I wasn't buying it, honestly'.</p><p>'And why is that? You think you know the truth?' I asked him, a clear dare in the way I pronounced it. The blue eyes were so fascinatingly twinkling.</p><p>'I guess, I'm just smart enough to understand that you were trying to avoid to be alone with me after our small talk yesterday' he smirked at me blithely, his voice cashmere soft. There was not a lot of space between us, and I could feel a scent of his cologne just as clear as I wanted to. It was preventing me from thinking normally, and I definitely needed some help to function. How the hell did he find out? 'Which is very silly of you considering the fact that you have a possibility to spend the time with one of the greatest alive'.</p><p>'Oh yeah?' I smirked at him back this time fully prepared for the shot. 'And who is that? If you are talking about Denaun, then I see no connection'.</p><p>Marshall didn't answer anything, letting me see a spark of amusement in his glance and stood up from his spot, becoming a bit taller than me, causing my heart to speed up. The smirk never left his lips. The distance between us was dangerous, shorter than the reach of a hand, and we had never been that close before, except the photoshoot trouble but that was different. I could literally feel his breath not far away from my face torturing me with an ignorance of what would happen.</p><p>'You know that you are not supposed to talk to me like that, don't you?' he spoke finally in a velvety tone, looking straight into my eyes in an obscenely attentive way, doing something wrong to the state of mine, twisting my thoughts with his proximity. I had to make up some decent response but the features of his were too attractive for me to look at.</p><p>'That's the only thing you can say when you are not able to come up with a clever answer' I said in a tone full of mocking just to tweak Marshall, ignoring my own nervousness near him. 'Weak response today, Mr Mathers. I was expecting more from you' his eyes lit up in challenge hearing my well-made "disappointed" manner, and I couldn't think of a better view.</p><p>'You...' Marshall began in a low voice, moving even closer to me when all of a sudden we heard the voices in the hallway getting louder and louder. It caused both of us to turn our heads to the door, and in a moment we were faced with the owners of it stopping on the threshold with big smiles and hands full of food.</p><p>'Ella! You are here' Denaun exclaimed a little too excited, chewing a baby carrot and trying not to drop some other bags with sweets he was holding. Looking between me and Marshall, he saw us standing unnaturally close to each other, and a foolish smile made its way to his lips. 'Are we interrupting something?' Denaun grabbed one more baby carrot from the bag he was holding, not taking his eyes off us as if he was watching the movie and eating popcorn. I and Marshall made a few steps back from each other realizing that from another perspective it should have really been weird.</p><p>'Shut up, you ruin everything' Royce answered annoyed, receiving a "What?" look from Denaun back.</p><p>'No, I was just explaining myself why I am so late for work' I finally pronounced almost carelessly as if nothing strange was in the picture Royce and Denaun became the witnesses of. I didn't look at Marshall again but I could almost feel him chuckling at my attempt to play it cool. Why did it seem so uncomfortable even though nothing happened?</p><p>'Okay, let's go to the restroom to eat. You'll tell us everything and we have something to talk about too' Royce said softly, and I was glad he didn't push the subject about me and Marshall.</p><p>'Sure, I'm hungry' I answered gratefully, giving Marshall a brief side look. He nodded totally unbothered by Denaun's words so all of us headed to the restroom as Royce proposed to.</p><p>'So, before you say anything, we have some interesting proposal here' Royce continued his previous talk as all of us sat down on the couches in the restroom, eating the sweets that both Denaun and Royce brought with them. I sat next to Denaun, Royce and Marshall in front of us.</p><p>'I'm all yours' I said with slight amusement in my voice.</p><p>'Such an intrigue' Marshall rolled his eyes in a favourite manner, drinking his RedBull. He was the only one who refused to eat. Well, his loss.</p><p>'We'll pretend we didn't hear you' Denaun commented sarcastically, giving Marshall a "Shut up" look which made the last one of them chuckle.</p><p>'Anyway' Royce talked again, irritated by the interruption. 'Today we want to hit the club, so now we are informing you that you go with us'.</p><p>'Thanks for at least warning me about it' I smiled with a slight sarcastic note in my tone. 'I don't know about that, though. I'm not much of a club-goer, to be honest'.</p><p>'Don't worry. You have no choice. Marshall goes too so consider it as a part of your work' Denaun winked at me, eating what seemed like a millionth candy. I turned my head to Marshall.</p><p>'Yeah, I go so whatever. Paul thinks that it's only fair for you to see everything' he answered shrugging.</p><p>'Okay, but I have to go home to change or what is the dress code?'</p><p>'No, no, no. You can't go home and disappear for another half a day' Royce denied shaking his head in disapproval. 'There is no dress code. Besides, you already look stunning'.</p><p>'Don't flatter me in such a shameless way' I teased interpreting his compliment as a joke.</p><p>'I'm only speaking the truth, Ella' Royce raised his hands in defence with all the seriousness on his face, causing a thankful smile on my lips.</p><p>When I was ready to lower my glance, I caught Marshall's stare on me accidentally. I was expecting him to make fun of Royce's comment but his eyes were calm and clear, looking at me with no definite emotion but somehow attentively. Catching my eyes, he hid a smirk in the corners of his mouth and got up from his spot, throwing a look at Denaun and Royce and leaving his drink on the table.</p><p>'If you finished your meal, ladies, let's go and record a fucking song. I've been waiting for your comeback from lunch for hours' Marshall told them, making a grimace.</p><p>'Bullshit! We've been out for 15 minutes' Denaun argued. 'See, Ella? He is a tyrant. Gives us no time to eat'.</p><p>'Oh, poor you, making just 6 breaks a day to eat' Marshall cocked an eyebrow at him and headed to exit.</p><p>'Whatever! I have rights and I will fight for them!' Denaun refused to give up, and something adorable was in their friendly interaction. I couldn't stop giggling.</p><p>'Can't wait for it' Marshall responded, his voice melting in the hallway as he left the room.</p><p>Denaun disappeared right after Marshall, still mumbling something about his rights, and Royce followed him giving me an almost apologetic soft look. I nodded with an understanding smile and in a moment found myself alone in the restroom.</p><p>Listening to the silence that filled the air, I was thinking about how weird it all felt. Exciting and interesting. Not the way I'd imagined that job to be. Paul, Royce and Denaun already felt like family even though we'd known each other for a short period of time. And I couldn't find the reason for such an impression. Maybe, they were just good people, and it was their politeness doing the job. But why was this thought so hard to believe then?</p><p>Even Marshall who seemed so distant for a moment became a bit closer that day. Yeah, just as a matter of fact. Yeah, in the flame of banter. But somehow it managed to leave some imprint on me, giving a perilous urge to find out what the real closeness would be like. He was messing with my head with the moves like that, not even knowing about the consequences. Or was he actually fully aware of them?</p><p>I got up from the couch before I could think more of that and headed to my office to finally start the work. Entering the hallway, I suddenly remembered that I had some worst experiences going to clubs and the realization of what I said "yes" to hit me. Oh no. Me and the club? Royce, why did you come up with such a bad idea?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey, hi:) New chapter from me to you. <br/>Hope that you are all well and safe.<br/>I want to thank you for all your support so far, it's been encouraging me to write more lately❤️</p><p>Please, leave a like or comment to express your thoughts on my writing. It will make me want to continue updating, post the chapters frequently. As always, much love for you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. The Club</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As it always happens when you are not eager to do something, the evening came faster than I hoped it would. I worked hard that day, managing to apologize to Paul for being late and writing a lot of material that I could successfully use in the articles later. Paul, on the other hand, didn't see any big trouble in my tardiness which was weird since I knew how important it was to him for a worker to be professional. Royce and Denaun explained that apparently, Paul liked me a lot and what's more - my sincere regret. So, the situation was all forgotten, and I couldn't be happier about that.</p><p>However, there was an obvious cloud on my clear sunny sky. A huge stormy cloud with a dangerous promise of embarrassment that as you already understood, was that damn club visit.</p><p>I was never good at that kind of stuff. Diana used to go clubbing and drag me with her every Saturday night until she found her boyfriend Justin and fortunately, it all ended for good. But I wasn't a party person and didn't even like to dance or drink a lot. And since my heart had a full-time job being broken, I wasn't interested in new acquaintances either.</p><p>Standing on the studio parking lot and waiting for all the guys to come, I was trying to come up with some believable excuse, nervously tapping my feet on the ground along the way. Any clever ideas refused to cross my mind so when I saw Royce and Denaun heading to me, there was nothing left but accepting my destiny and face it like a true fearless human. It didn't matter that I wasn't one. Everybody is allowed to dream, right?</p><p>'I see that someone is ready to have fun tonight' Denaun commented teasingly as he and Royce came closer to me with foolish smiles on their faces. I was already regretting telling them about my club-going experience. Bastards.</p><p>'Yeah, sure' I rolled my eyes annoyingly at them. 'Where is Mr Marshall Mathers, though?' I asked in a sarcastic tone, feeling an urge to drop the topic as soon as it was possible.</p><p>'He has some things to do so we'll meet him later in the club' Royce explained.</p><p>'Don't worry, Ella. He'll come' Denaun winked at me, and both of them laughed, pointing at Royce's car which all of us had to take.</p><p>I shook my head in disbelief but couldn't keep a chuckle from leaving my lips. As much as the joke seemed funny, there was something true in it. I wanted Marshall to come and there was no reasonable explanation for that. Oh well, I had no intention to explain it for real.</p><p>The drive wasn't long but fun as I spent it listening to Denaun and Royce's expectations about what the night could bring us. Needless to say, I was pretty sure that the night prepared something tricky, and I was anticipating it like a natural thing, hoping to avoid any big trouble.</p><p>So, when we finally arrived, I left the car as fast as only a turtle could do. The building of the club appeared to be huge, somewhere on the outskirts of the town. Near the entrance, there were two giant-like security guards and some folks smoking cigarettes, flirting with dressed-up girls. The music was blasting in the dark of the approaching night, and the first image of it seemed somehow blurred by the atmosphere.</p><p>The minute we stepped on the threshold, I knew that I was going to feel uncomfortable. The club was almost fully packed with people with two floors of space and a large dancefloor. Somebody was already drunk, somebody kept it easy to prolong the night, and we were barely getting started. In the middle of that moving crowd, I suddenly felt like all eyes were on me. But it was just an illusion.</p><p>'Royce, I've seen that DJ I've told you about right when we arrived. We should make some connections with him, it might be interesting' Denaun said when we found the table on the second floor and ordered some drinks. It was a perfect place to observe the whole club, and that was the only thing I really liked. It was somehow interesting to watch all those different people, so many plots could be easily found.</p><p>'Yeah, right' Royce answered as his eyes were carefully scanning the dancefloor. 'Ella, let's go with us'.</p><p>'I'd rather wait for you here, guys. I'm in the mood to just to sit and drink my margarita' I almost pleaded, not really wanting to get up and be involved in some conversations or possible dance invitations. My drink could take care of me fine.</p><p>'Are you sure? We don't want to leave you here all alone' Denaun cocked his eyebrow at me like a protective father. It was adorable, and I smiled.</p><p>'Of course, I'm a big girl. Besides, you won't be there long, will you?'</p><p>'We won't. And when we come back, we take you to dance or even find you some decent one-night-stand' Royce pronounced seriously as both of them got up and received a reassuring nod from me and a chuckle in response.</p><p>I was a bit glad to be left alone. The music wasn't that loud on the second floor as it was on the first one so I could comfortably observe the moving bodies on the dancefloor that seemed like one pulsating organism from the distance. Something was intoxicating in that sight. It was like watching the abyss from the cliff, being scared of the fall but having a strange sensation of interest in how it would feel like. The magnetising picture with a dangerous glory.</p><p>I even started to question my decision to act like safely. What if I needed to get drunk, dance and find a one-night-stand? What if I had to finally forget that fucking Jake's name and let the situation go? It sounded easier than it was in reality but at least, I needed to give it a try. But where was Marshall, though?</p><p>I started to get nervous as the time was flying by and Royce with Denaun were nowhere to be seen. My margarita was finished and I even spotted some way too interested glances in my direction. So I reached to my purse to call guys only to find out that I didn't have it with me. A sudden memory crossed my mind, and I remembered that I must have left it in Royce's car. Damn it. There was all my stuff: the keys, my phone and even "Marshall Mathers LP" that I'd bought in the morning. But as I decided to go and look for them, unexpectedly I heard a low velvety voice speaking right beside me. And I already knew who was the mysterious owner of it.</p><p>'What, no dances tonight? You seem like an experienced club-goer' I raised my head to the source of the sound and found Marshall's figure towering over me and a smug expression of his face in addition. And I had to be honest, I felt an unpleasant sensation in my stomach turning into a sigh of relief. Finally, a familiar face.</p><p>'I just don't want to offend anyone with my impressive skills' I told him wryly as Marshall plopped on an armchair in front of me, and his blue eyes began its journey of exploring me. And that was when I felt uneasy again. Cool.</p><p>'Oh, I would like to look at that. You know, I used to be into break-dancing before I was famous' he smirked, laying his both hands on the armpits, and that was somehow distracting.</p><p>'Which is probably nothing compared to the sight of me on the dancefloor' I rolled my eyes, my glance a bit distant searching for Royce and Denaun in the crowd. But his presence was unavoidable.</p><p>'You'd better not talk but show something' Marshall dared as I caught his glance again, blue eyes sparkling. And I felt myself tensing a bit under his glance. In a strangely fascinating way.</p><p>'Oh, no, sorry, my most important audience disappeared somewhere, intending to meet with some DJ over here' I said, hiding my eyes in the empty margarita glass, pretending to act casually. The thought of us being alone in that club was making circles in my mind, fooling around with some crazy ideas of the plot development. I wasn't sure if that was a part of work at that point. So what was it?</p><p>'They are probably drunk right now, taking home some of those girls' he answered, taking a look at the dance floor underneath. Some fast lights of the club for a moment made his handsome profile clear. 'Royce called me and asked to find you. I've been around for some time so I did'.</p><p>'Why do you go to places like this, though?' I asked curious of the way he was. The more time I was spending with him, the more I was catching myself on the attempts to figure Marshall out just for myself, out of interest. And the articles were playing up to me as a perfect reason to ask all those questions. 'It is said you are sober for a year now and you don't seem very excited by all of this'.</p><p>'Well, I'm just used to be around those fools wherever they're going' he let a small smile painting his lips, possibly thinking that I wouldn't see it in the almost complete darkness. 'A lot of people I know hang out here. Also, they say I'm a Casanova so ladies can be involved as well' a delicious tease slipped from Marshall's tongue, embracing my body almost fully, the sensation of it touching my skin. How did it happen that his words felt like that? Where did it all come from?</p><p>'So, I'm preventing you from getting someone tonight because Royce asked you to babysit me here?' I raised my chin a bit and saw his eyes watching me as if waiting for me to do something wrong. How did I plan to stay calm and confident?</p><p>'Nah, I'm here not to get just anyone' Marshall's lazy manner tensed a little as he looked on the first floor once more. That's when I realized he was looking at someone.</p><p>Lowering my gaze, I spotted three girls that were sitting at the bar. They seemed a bit fancier than all the others around, judging by the way they were moving and talking, sipping their martini as if it was something self-evident like a habit. Especially, the one in a silky honey-coloured dress with thin straps and black hair with dark blue tone to it. She was magnetizing with the move of her burgundy lips as she was talking and an undoubtful natural grace. Maybe, that was her who Marshall was looking at?</p><p>'Chicks like Roxy are fun just in terms of the situation but senseless hookups already became boring. It's not even a real interest from the beginning, it's just a pretending to get what you want' Marshall turned his head to me once more, and I saw him thinking about something. I could almost physically feel that it was that woman as I was trying to ignore a weird feeling in my stomach. Fuck.</p><p>'When everything is tasteless, you search for someone to keep you interested at least for more than one night' he continued as I was following every phrase. I felt desperate to know what really was on his mind, and my palms became sweaty because of uncertainty.</p><p>'And do you know someone like that?' I asked in my sort of "professional" tone, and Marshall's eyes found the bar once more. This time I knew it was all about that woman, and his fingers tapped on the armpits in the hesitant action. My eyes found her too, and suddenly I remembered that I wore jeans and there was nothing special or appealing to my outfit. I had no grace like that and no careless manner in the movements. The worst thing was, in that minute I was worrying only about Marshall's opinion on it. Was it a trick of my mind, or did I want to look beautiful for him?</p><p>'No, not yet' I heard Marshall answering through the fog of my own thoughts, and saw him looking at me with slight amusement in his features. And I couldn't act like I didn't like the grin on his lips. The meaning of Marshall's glance on that woman in a silky dress could be completely overthought, and for some reason, I hoped it was. Though, I wasn't completely sure about it. 'I know that you desperately want to stay but I'm going home so I can give you a drive if you want' he said teasingly as I didn't answer anything and I chuckled in response. Oh, Marshall, I needed to stop that thing in my head that was making me think about you frequently lately. I was moving in the wrong direction, and your behaviour didn't help much.</p><p>'It would be nice since you claim that we won't see guys tonight' I told him as both of us got up from the table.</p><p>'Then let's go' Marshall said, nodding to the stairs. I decided to let him lead me as I was following behind.</p><p>It happened to be that Marshall knew a lot of folks there as we had to stop a few times going through the crowd of dancing and drinking people to greet some of them. He was saying quick "What's up?" to almost all of them but whenever somebody was trying to make a conversation or stop him from going, Marshall would decline the offer and keep moving to the exit. I have to say I was a little bit flattered to feel like there was nothing more important than taking me home for him that minute. Even if in reality it meant that he just wasn't interested to spend more time in the club.</p><p>We were almost at the exit passing by the bar when we heard someone's demanding silver-tone speaking at our backs:</p><p>'Marshall? Where are your manners? No "hello" to an old friend?'</p><p>As we turned our heads to the source of the sound and stopped at our guts, I swallowed unpleasantly, facing a figure of the woman in that goddamn honey-coloured dress sitting on the high chair at the bar, surrounded by her girlfriends with a glass of martini in her hand. Taking a look at Marshall's tensed expression and stormy glance of blue eyes, I knew it was all for bad. Damn, they were acquainted, I knew it.</p><p>'I never had manners and we are not friends anyway. What's the point of pretending to be polite?' Marshall answered in a low indifferent tone but as he was staying not far away from me, I could feel his body stiffening.</p><p>'Don't be rude, dear' the woman chuckled unbothered and I saw her eyes on me. The milk chocolate irises were cunningly studying me like a snake before eating a rabbit. Oh no. 'At least, introduce us to your new girlfriend or whatever she is' she added with a contemptuous spark in her glance, and I felt a bitter taste on my tongue as she offended me. That exact moment I was trying to figure out how such a beautiful woman could be so poisonous. Hold on, she said "girlfriend" about me?</p><p>'That's none of your fucking business' Marshall snapped, and I could see the irritation colouring his features as he furrowed his brows. I was surprised he didn't deny her words but oh boy, she didn't like that answer at all.</p><p>'You know that everything is my business' she said, her voice sharp even though her face remained calm, almost lazy. Marshall was staring at the woman openly but there was nothing good in his furious glance. I felt a sudden urge to touch him for mutual support.</p><p>'Don't remind me of the things I know because I might as well tell some of it to your new husband. I bet you'll like the taste of his manners' he pronounced in the calmest but at the same time freezing tone. The smug burgundy smile of the woman, on the other hand, faded, leaving her lips twisting in an obvious defeat. Her girlfriends all of a sudden got frightened expressions and nobody said anything. The woman in the honey-coloured silky dress was just staring at Marshall, and there was something miserable in her eyes as if her worst suspicions were proved right. I wondered what was the story behind all of that.</p><p>'I assume, that's all you wanted to talk about? Then excuse us, we have to go' Marshall spoke once again, dropping woman's glance and finding my eyes. Before I could see all the emotions in it, he added:</p><p>'Let's go, Ella' and the way he pronounced my name sounded a lot softer than the previous phrase. I nodded mindlessly, thinking how good it was to hear him saying it, all in front of those girls. The manner of that simple phrase should have been prohibited because of the warmness that slipped to my chest at the sound of it. Oh yeah, I know, I shouldn't have liked it.</p><p>Marshall turned away and headed to the exit and I followed right after him. Exiting the club, I couldn't help but took the last look at that woman and caught her killer-like eyes. She was still staring in our direction, and I knew she was angry. But at the same time, knowing nothing about her, for some reason, I felt that she deserved it and without any more delays, went outside to catch up with Marshall.</p><p>I found him after a minute right on the parking lot not far away from his Cadillac. He was standing, waiting for me all frowned and I could see his glance being somewhere else as the situation had some really unpleasant effect on him. It was empty there unlike it was in the club and the black starry sky was silently hanging above us. I didn't know how to act not to make things worse but at the same time, I felt an urge to comfort him somehow. Yeah, you heard it right. To comfort Marshall Mathers.</p><p>'Am I allowed to ask what was that all about?' I made an attempt to talk quietly, feeling a shiver from the cool night wind on my shoulders. Leaving a jacket home was probably a bad idea.</p><p>'What if I say no?' he answered in unreadable tone, turning his head to me and putting hands in the pockets of his jeans. On the parking lot, lightened by the nearby street light, I could see the tones of fading anger somewhere in Marshall's dark pupils. Oh, God.</p><p>'Then we can pretend that nothing happened if you want' I told him easily as if it was an ordinary thing between us. As strange as it all looked, I had to watch myself not to cross any dangerous lines. I was just another journalist working with him, and he didn't have to tell me anything. But why did I want him to?</p><p>'Dammit' Marshall cursed, kicking a stone that was lying near his feet. He was upset and surprisingly, I could understand that. 'I'm telling you this because you accidentally became involved. If I see it on the articles, your career will be dead' he pronounced seriously, and I could belive the things he was promising. I had no intention to do something like that so I silently nodded. He sighed before speaking.</p><p>'That was Chelsea, we were a thing some time ago. For a few months or something' Marshall continued, his glance travelling through memories and jaw defined with irritation. 'The story is short. She fucked me up and married some rich jerk. The scene she made up there was just because she can't handle the fact that I don't cry for her anymore. Selfish bitch' he added, a despise clear in his tone. The light of the street lights making Marshall's eyes sparkle in a silent emotion.</p><p>I felt myself a bit stunned, to be honest. Despite the anger and the things he said, I could feel that those were just the consequences. The reason was that he was hurt and it was the way to express it. I'd been hurt too many times not to know how it feels like. Though, I didn't know if I had a right to say something.</p><p>'Why would she marry that guy? She loved him?' I asked carefully.</p><p>'Loved...' Marshall repeated with a bitter chuckle. 'She loves only herself. She told me it was because I bored her being "clingy and protective". I foolishly thought that she was different but she was like any other chick and my fucking ex-wife' he snorted, making a glance of blue eyes look somewhere past the parking lot.</p><p>As I was watching him, I couldn't escape the feeling that all of a sudden we were sharing an important moment. The one that had to stay between two of us. And even though, he wasn't completely open and didn't give any details, I felt like there was a small glimpse of trust to me and somehow I was proud of that thought.</p><p>'I'm sorry about it' I pronounced softly, and he nodded as if saying "thank you". Marshall's previous mood was coming back slowly, calming his features and I wished I could do something else to help. What a strange night it all was.</p><p>'But her face was priceless when you said that thing. She was ready to spit flames' I grinned at him, ruining the short silence and immediately saw Marshall's eyes flash in amusement. Yeah, that was better.</p><p>'Remember, I used to do rap battles' he smirked, raising his eyebrows playfully. Enjoying it, I was thinking of how the hell Chelsea could do him like that. Marshall Mathers, from what I'd seen, was very far from ideal but he didn't deserve any of that. Perhaps, it was that weird inner feeling that you can't really explain, something like intuition. Or maybe, I was just starting to like him.</p><p>'That's what she missed' I answered, chuckling back. How weirdly comfortable that word exchange felt. Oh well.</p><p>'Let's get out of here. I'll drive you home' Marshall gestured towards his Cadillac, still smirky. That was when I remembered one very important detail, and my smile dropped. Marshall's expression coloured with confusion.</p><p>'There is one problem about it' I told him, sighing heavily. God, that day refused to leave me at peace for the night. I still managed to get in some kind of trouble.</p><p>'What is it?'</p><p>'I forgot my purse with keys from the apartment and other things in Royce's car' I grimaced as if eating a whole lemon, unsure of his reaction.</p><p>'Oh, I see' he frowned, thinking what to do. 'I'll try to call Royce, maybe he is somewhere not far away' he took his phone out and dialled Royce's number. I was absorbing every move in anticipation to hear Royce picking up the phone. But it wasn't that easy.</p><p>'Nothing' Marshall announced, returning his glance at me. I could only imagine how lost I looked at that minute. But no one could blame me. I had no fucking idea what to do.</p><p>'Okay, listen. I hate to ask you for this but as I have no choice, then I have to' I spoke, rubbing my forehead with my fingers in tiredness. 'Maybe, you will borrow me some money so I can find a hotel to spend the night or something like that. And you will call there whenever Royce answers. I'll give it back when I got my stuff, okay?' I asked him, feeling a big urge to magically appear in my bed and escape that awful situation when I had to ask for help. Especially, as I had to ask for it Marshall. You know, Royce, for the first time I actually felt like kicking your ass.</p><p>'Just get in the car' was the answer and I sighed in relief because that was indeed better than "no" so I followed his instruction without any delays. There was a hope I wouldn't spend the night on the street.</p><p>'There should be a hotel not far away from here. I can show the way' I said, sitting on my spot comfortably and watching Marshall starting the engine. He looked suspiciously silent and I still didn't get any proper answer from him. Damn, what was it all for?</p><p>'No need' he answered finally, not looking at my direction.</p><p>'I'm taking you to my place'.</p><p>The car moved but I couldn't decide if heard something wrong. Any words refused to leave my lips, watching Marshall's profile focused on the road.</p><p>Thanks to the lights of the night city we were passing by, I could see his face perfectly, follow all the sharp lines with my eyes. His hands on the wheel seemed lazily confident in its moves, and I leaned back on the seat, feeling a pleasant sensation of safety despite a nervousness in my chest. All the worry about the left bag faded somehow, leaving a place for a feeling of something unknown but not scary for sure. Taking a look behind the window at the sleeping Detroit, I thought that the night was unexpectedly far from over.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey, so, the new chapter here. I really hope that you like it. Please, leave me a like or comment so I know and post the chapters frequently.</p><p>Thank you for all your support, I really appreciate it. I enjoy working on this story a lot. Much love for all of you:3</p><p>P. S. The "Recovery" album has just turned 10. Crazy, right?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Late-night buddies Pt 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I didn't know where it all was leading. Marshall's decision was like a lightning on a sunny summer day just when the weather broadcast promised the opposite so I was completely unaware of what was happening. The problem was, I honestly couldn't process the thought that Marshall fucking Mathers was giving me a helping hand in that kind of way, just taking me to his place instead of finding the nearest hotel or even leaving me alone with my own problems. Well, looks like something that seems obvious at first, in reality, can be not that definite.</p><p>After a 20-minute drive without any words but the lingering sound of a radio, we arrived at the gates of what could only be called "mansion". In the dark, it was hard to see the real scope of Marshall's estate but there was no need as I didn't expect anything from it, I just wasn't thinking about it. It was nothing too crazy but surely way too far from my own apartment and definitely incomparable to the room in a hotel. And maybe, I had to be fairly honest and say that I wasn't that interested in the entourage. But more in the person next to me as I was almost terrified and excited at the same time about the next thing he could say or do.</p><p>Marshall parked in a garage, making every move in a matter of habit. I could imagine him doing it every day after coming from the studio, and somehow that detail felt a bit intimate. That night we were spending too much time together and I wasn't used to it. Everything was unusual and dream-like. Except, I couldn't decide if that was a good one or more like a plot at the beginning of horror movie where Marshall had to kill me and bury my body on his backyard. I bet no one could ever find me there in that case. Not even Denaun or Royce. Perhaps, I could only count on Paul but surely not that much.</p><p>'Let's go' Marshall spoke, making me stop producing all those ridiculous thoughts, as we hopped out of the car and reached the door of the house. Somehow his behaviour was making the situation look like not a big deal with a calm expression and unreadable eyes. And I thought that I could do the same, nodding to him, but I was way too nervous to feel comfortable. Well, not every night you spend at Eminem's house. Especially, when you work for him and you are not really friends, right?</p><p>'I thought that you lived with your kids. Won't they mind you inviting me over for the night?' I asked when Marshall closed the door behind me, and we found ourselves in the huge living room, all in semi-darkness thanks to the clear May night.</p><p>'You already sound like I invited you as a nightstand and we have just come in' he chuckled, throwing the keys on the drawer and making his way to the kitchen area that was just behind the big soft sofa and a TV. I instantly felt the blush making its way to my cheeks, and I was the happiest person on the planet, knowing that he wouldn't see it. Hell, the beginning was already making things hard for me.</p><p>'They usually wouldn't because I would explain everything' he continued talking, not waiting for my answer and switching on the small light in the kitchen. 'But today there is no need for that. Kids are on Europe trip with Kim for about a month. I've promised this one for a long time but with a release of a new album couldn't go so she kinda offered to do it this way'.</p><p>Oh, so that was why Kim could ask him to come to her earlier, I thought. And it also could be a reason for him not picking me up for a few days in the mornings. Why did knowing those details make me feel a bit relieved? I was getting way too involved with all the women surrounding Marshall, and that didn't feel like a good sign.</p><p>'Oh, okay' I mumbled not really sure what to say. It was like midnight outside so the only logical thing would be for us to go to sleep. But somewhere deep inside I had an urge to prolong that weird state we unexpectedly happened to be in because I knew that there would be no other night like that. Wow, sounds like I wanted to use that possibility to get closer to him. No, no, no. That's bullshit.</p><p>'You are hungry or want anything to drink?' Marshall asked me, putting both of his hands in the pockets of his jeans and looking at me. The circumstances could win a prize at the most awkward ones of all times, to the point where Marshall was trying to be hospitable. Impressive much.</p><p>'No, thanks, I'm good' I answered without thinking and that exact minute was ready to punch myself. A minute ago I was literally thinking about the ways to continue the conversation and when Marshall offered the only suitable one, I declined it. 3 points go to Ella for destroying the future interaction.</p><p>'Well, then let's go, I'll show you the room to sleep in' he shrugged unbothered, heading to the stairs that led to the second floor, and I said "Damn it" in my head too many times, following him. How come I was so dumb about all those things?</p><p>'So, I'm even getting the room?' I asked as we reached the second floor. I was kinda expecting to sleep on the couch or something like that but I admit, it would be strange as Marshall had such a big house.</p><p>'Yeah, why not?' he suddenly stopped, turning his head to me, his voice the definition of smirkiness. 'I don't know, maybe you expected to have half of my bed tonight' even in the almost dark hallway I could see the teasing sparkle in his glance, and that was enough to create a bunch of goosebumps on my skin. No, he didn't say that.</p><p>'Sure' I said confidently, holding my glance on him. 'I was actually thinking about the whole bed' I was surprised that I could come up with such a response but that pleasant tension between us was indulging me to run that game. There was nobody, except two of us, in that huge house, and that thought was head-spinning for some reason. We both knew that anything could happen and nobody would be aware of it.</p><p>'Looks like it' Marshall chuckled, not even trying to hide a shameless grin on his lips, and turned back, stopping near the door of some room. I sighed heavily. Oh, how would I get through all of that?</p><p>'You can stay the night here' he said almost seriously as we came in and he turned on the light. It was a nice guest bedroom in what looked like some pastel creamy tones which were hard to observe properly in the dim light. A big bed, two drawers, a small sofa and a hight-length mirror in the corner. Surely, a perfect place to stay for someone who had nowhere to go, and as I was that person, I couldn't ask for more.</p><p>'You didn't have to do this' I pronounced, raising a glance at Marshall as we were standing side by side at the door. His expression was easy and close to welcoming as if it only could be seen at that kind of hour. I felt thankful to the figure standing next to me, and that was completely new. Damn, what a night it all was.</p><p>'I know' he answered in a serious but far from cold tone, not meeting my eyes. I had an urge for him to do so but maybe, that could be dangerous. 'Even though it's all Royce's fault, he and Denaun would kill me, knowing that I left you in some hotel. And it was just way faster to take you here' Marshall told me, turning everything into a huge excuse. And I would have been disappointed but... I had a strange feeling that it was a genuine decision of his to help. I mean, he was never afraid of Royce or Denaun so why would he think about it that minute?</p><p>'Thank you anyway' I said, hiding a knowing smile somewhere in my features. Seemed like someone didn't want to look like a nice guy, and that was somehow warming.</p><p>'Enjoy my kindness before it's over' he responded with a small smirk, making his way to leave the room. 'My bedroom is the next door to the right in case something happens or whatever. Good night' he added, finally finding my glance with his blue eyes, and I wished I had something more to say. The small silent pause between us was exhilarating, and I wondered if a small move could make a huge difference. For example, asking him not to leave just yet or was it actually utterly wrong for me to think about it?</p><p>'Good night' I spoke quietly and watched Marshall closing the door, leaving me alone with my high-risk thoughts. Why did it all feel like that?</p><p>It was always a problem of mine to think a lot but in reality, doing nothing. Perhaps, that was saving me from some decisions that you might regret later. And I didn't know why I wanted to prolong the feeling of Marshall's close presence. I thought that I was just going crazy with that long weird night. So I decided that it was better to sleep to clear my head and deal with everything in the morning.</p><p>I found the bathroom and took a shower, thinking that it would be life-saving to have something to change in since my jeans and top weren't the best options for sleeping. But I had no choice but to turn off the lights and try to rest, even though it clearly wasn't easy to do so.</p><p>As I predicted, sleeping was an impossible accomplishment for me that night. After nearly an hour of trying, I laid on my back and stared at the ceiling. It was quiet outside, and the room was lightened by the bright moon, looking at me from the window. I suddenly remembered that the Josh guy from the music shop had to text me that evening, and I didn't know what I was guilty of more: not being able to respond or completely forgetting about it. I liked him, sure, but there was no special feeling, you know? Perhaps, I was too distracted to think about it properly.</p><p>Hurricane of thoughts was rushing in my head. I tried to concentrate on Jeff and his excitement about having a huge deal. I recalled in my memory all Diana's complaints about her boyfriend Justin and constant guidances for me on Jake. I replayed in my head all the funny interactions Royce and Denaun had had previously that day. I even started to think foolishly about why secretaries like Melanie and Camilla didn't really like me that much but nothing could help me to get my mind off one particular fact. The fact that I was spending the night in Marshall's house with him just behind the wall. Damn it.</p><p>I couldn't understand where it all came from. From what I'd learned in my previous projects, feeling that kind of nervousness around the artist you worked with was not a usual thing. Especially, all of a sudden having a weird stomach sensation about him having a thing with that bitchy but surely gorgeous woman. And what was more, thinking about him frequently as the time was slowly going by. Even at that minute, lying on the bed in his house in the middle of the night and processing all the events of the day, I knew it was a big, even huge trouble. And honestly, I had no idea what to do with it.</p><p>I sat up on the bed, sighing heavily. Maybe, drinking something could calm me down and help to sleep. So moments later I made the decision to try it since I had nothing else to do. For some reason, I had a confidence that I could actually find the kitchen I'd seen earlier and even have a decent glass of water, without waking Marshall up or stumbling into something. Oh Lord, why did I say no to his offer to have a drink?</p><p>Not turning on the light and opening the door to the hallway, I quietly managed to reach the stairs on my tiptoes and even make it to the first floor. I was starting to feel like a professional spy on the mission since it was so quiet, I didn't even hear my breath. However, turning to the kitchen area, I stopped at my guts with an unexpected image appearing in the front of me. But instead of freaking out or going away, I forgot about any spy rules at once and found myself shamelessly staring. Wrong, such a wrong move.</p><p>The small kitchen light was already turned on as I wasn't the only one to visit the kitchen at that kind of hour. And since there were only two people in that house that never-ending crazy night, it could only be Marshall Mathers who got ahead of me at making it there. And I wasn't the one to complain about it.</p><p>He was standing sideways to me near the counter, pouring some kind of drink for himself, more like juice, but his mind was somewhere else as Marshall had a pair of headphones on, listening to some music and nodding to the beat slightly from time to time as if trying to feel it. He was fully changed from his previous clothing into a pair of grey sweatpants but it looked like he completely forgot about the shirt as I could see his toned chest bare, just like on the cover of the magazine. The magazine Diana had given to me on the first day of all this insanity.</p><p>Marshall's expression was fully focused on the music he was listening to, giving me a chance to appreciate his attractive manly features: perfect jawline and drawn-like profile. And I knew that I wasn't allowed to see him like that and admire the sight I had in front of me. But there was actually nothing I could do about it as I refused to force myself to go away. I might have never had a chance to see Marshall Mathers in that kind of way, even though I had to admit that I didn't really like that thought.</p><p>I could stand and stare at him for more than it was appropriate to do so but suddenly, Marshall stopped his movements as if hearing something. Taking his headphones off in one move with a wary glance, he turned his head in my direction and before I could think of the way I could get out of that awkward situation, our eyes met.</p><p>He didn't expect to see me for sure but as his blue eyes recognized my posture, the tension left Marshall's face almost immediately. I wasn't saying a single thing because I found my breath unsteady for some reason. I was afraid he realized I was staring so when I unintentionally threw a short glance on my feet to hide my eyes, I could almost physically feel a small smug smirk forming in the corners of his mouth. Oh no, of course, it was obvious. He knew perfectly I'd been staring at him for a long time.</p><p>'What's wrong? Can't sleep?' Marshall spoke first in a low velvety voice, putting his headphones on the counter and turning his attention back to me. His glance was a bit amused, talking to me, and I promised myself that minute not to look at his torso whatever it took. Future embarrassment at that point was highly undesirable.</p><p>'Looks like I'm not the one' I answered, holding a smile back and coming a bit closer to where he was standing. All of Marshall's home-like details were surprisingly distracting. The more so, I couldn't observe him but really wanted to.</p><p>'Well, that's a bad habit of mine after becoming sober' he pronounced truthfully, shrugging as if it was something unimportant. Though, I could feel that it was bothering him by something uncomfortable in his gaze. 'I don't see why you don't enjoy my comfortable service, though. I thought that the room was more than nice' he added, cocking his eyebrow at me in a teasing manner. I knew Marshall Mathers was playing with me, using that kind of behaviour. It surely was just for fun and that was another special trait of his personality but somehow I wished that something about it was only between two of us. Could that be possible?</p><p>'And it is, for sure' I nodded in agreement, lowering my gaze at the counter we were both standing near. 'I don't know, it was such a strange day that it is unusually hard to fall sleep' I glanced at him again from under my eyelashes and saw that the blue eyes of his didn't leave my face. Oh damn. 'Besides, your service doesn't provide any pyjamas so it will be hard to give it 5 stars'.</p><p>'I didn't know it supposed to' he chuckled, and oh boy, I wished he did it more. 'I don't have any female clothes for such occasions'.</p><p>'Surprisingly' I rolled my eyes, mocking him and maybe that was too far. But Marshall didn't seem to think the same way.</p><p>'I prefer my one-night-stands to keep their mouth shut for most of the time' a smug grin painted his lips and honestly, that was unbearable. I grimaced. 'But I can give you something from my stuff to sleep in' what? He got to be kidding me. That was a trap, no doubt. There was no way he could offer something like that.</p><p>'I don't feel like I deserve that much kindness' I said wryly. Remaining unbothered was more and more difficult.</p><p>'Don't worry, you already owe me for helping you so if I give you anything to change, then you'll owe me a little bit more' he answered cunningly, taking a sip of his drink but not taking his eyes off me. In that minute, I knew that I was getting myself into something risky but what else could happen if that night was already so strange?</p><p>'Okay, I guess, whatever' I answered still not really sure about the answer. Marshall smirked in the response and made a gesture to follow him upstairs. Although I was relieved to take a pause of fighting the urge to look at him fully, I knew that it was still more to come. God, it felt like the universe did that on purpose to make me extremely uncomfortable.</p><p>Feeling kind of nervous, I followed Marshall upstairs as we passed "my" room on the second floor and made it to the next one which supposed to be Marshall's. I thought that we were crossing too many lines with all of that, even though on the surface it seemed completely normal. Maybe, I was just overreacting or Marshall constantly didn't give a fuck about any of those lines. Something was telling me it was both.</p><p>Marshall's room appeared to be similar to my expectations. Not that I really had ones but for some reason, seeing it was unsurprising. It was all in light and dark grey tones with a lot of space and big fluffy carpet. I could spot some small details that reminded me of its owner like a notebook opened with lots of writing material, separate sheets of paper in different places, some clothes, a sound system with various CDs and small dictionary on the bedside drawer that made me smile a little. He wasn't joking, after all, was he? The room wasn't messy except the grey sheets on his bed which told me that Marshall'd been actually trying to sleep. It was crazy how we didn't succeed in it at the same time, and I let myself an unbelievable thought. Could he think of me like I'd thought of him that night at least once?</p><p>'Sit somewhere and wait for a little. I'll go grab something' Marshall told me as we entered the room and went straight to one of the doors that had to lead to the closet. I wanted to sit on the chair but there was some stuff laying on it so I had no choice but sit on his bed, feeling soft grey covers under my fingers. I wondered how many women could do the same and if there was a chance for them to have more than one night. That girl from the club, Chelsea, should have been the exception to the rule but I didn't want to think about it.</p><p>'Here, no way it can fit but that's the best I could do' Marshall appeared from the closet again, holding a white T-shirt and some black sweats with a serious and concentrated expression on his face as if he was genuinely interested in helping me. That behaviour was way out of character for him but to be fair, did I really know his character?</p><p>'Thank you' I said, chuckling a little. I didn't dare to raise my glance as Marshall stepped way closer to me, handing the clothes, and I knew that I would face his chest immediately doing it.</p><p>'What?' Marshall asked amused with my chuckle, and I had no choice but to look up briefly into his eyes, catching his grin in the dim light and suddenly becoming aware of the fresh scent of his that could be smelled only in the close proximity. I swear, it must have been his shower gel or something like that.</p><p>'Nothing, it's just I didn't know you were so...Hospitable' I answered softly, picking a neutral word not to say what really was on my mind thanks to his presence.</p><p>'It's strange since my full name is Marshall Bruce Hospitable Mathers' he commented sarcastically. 'I do things like that every day. You know, just usual. Inviting strangers to my place, giving them clothes, a room to sleep in. Secret weird hobby' I couldn't hold a small laugh at his dorky behaviour and it seemed like something so habitual, so natural. I wished we were more like that because the awkward tension was sometimes unbearable.</p><p>'Sounds fun' I said, still smiling a little and getting up from the bed. I didn't expect to appear so close to him in that minute so when I realized that there was basically a half of a hand reach between us as I stood up, I felt kind of lost.</p><p>It was a huge mistake of mine to find his glance as the smile dropped from my face right into a swimming pool of tension that occurred as a reaction to the sudden closeness we had to share. I couldn't read Marshall's eyes but they were watching me carefully, the features of his defining in the poor light of his room. I wondered if he was uncomfortable or indifferent, or even like me that minute? I didn't know why I was staring but I was and so was he.</p><p>I gave up. Just lowered my glance, letting myself for a moment to appreciate the lines of his toned body, confident posture and multiple tattoos. Everything around us seemed like some unrealistic picture. He was fucking half-naked and I was probably half-vulnerable with all the blush covering my cheeks. His breath was calm and steady while I felt like I completely forgot about mine and in that minute for the first time since I'd met him, I actually felt an urge for him to touch me. Or at least, for me to touch Marshall. The fresh smell of his became even stronger from that distance and I wished I could be even closer. Goddamn. No, it was just so wrong to feel that way.</p><p>'Anyway, you can even change here if you want' he spoke first in a deep voice with a usual frown appearing on his face and breaking the eye contact. I was kind of relieved that he did that but at the same time, I wondered what would have happened if he hadn't. 'When I can't sleep, I watch some documentaries so you can join me in the living room or whatever' Marshall shrugged, stepping away and turning sideways to me as if thinking about something. I bit my lip unintentionally not sure what to answer. I didn't want to sleep that much so perhaps, I could agree?</p><p>'Okay, I'll change and then I guess, I could watch them with you' oh my God, "with you". Why did it sound so crazy?</p><p>'Cool' he said carelessly, facing me again. Instead of waiting for my response, he reached to the nearest piece of clothes laying on a chair and threw on a sleeveless white shirt as if it was something he meant to do from the very beginning. Giving me a side glance, he added, exiting the room:</p><p>'I'll wait downstairs' sounded way louder for me than it really was, a delicious smirky note suddenly slipping through his tone as a reminder that he actually was fully aware of me checking him out unceremoniously a moment earlier. And I knew that he probably did that with an aim to kill me with embarrassment, to have me thinking about it when he'd leave. And that exactly what happened when Marshall exited the room. Oh, Lord, how could I?</p><p>I don't know how much time I just stood there stunned. Surely, nothing completely crazy happened but still, it was too much to handle. I didn't have to lose that round of the game we played so easily. But Marshall's proximity was doing things to me it didn't suppose to. Especially, when I had to cope with the fact that he was half-naked in front of me. I knew I didn't have to be that touchy, so affected by it, but there was something I just couldn't explain. The same something that had prevented me from sleeping earlier that night. And with a couple of documentaries waiting for two of us downstairs, I actually had a chance to try to figure it out.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Heeey, so sleepover at Marshall's? This is part 1 if you don't mind it. I didn't want to make the scenes at Marshall's house too long but at the same time, I wanted to include some of them that didn't really fit in this chapter. Hope it won't be that boring.</p><p>Anyways, please, leave a like or comment to share your thoughts on the chapter, as always. I'm really grateful for the feedback on the previous ones, it helped me to develop some interesting ideas and encouraged me to write more so stay tuned:) Much love for all of you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Late-night buddies Pt 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When I finally remembered that I had to change, it felt like I'd spent too much time standing embarrassed by my foolish mistake of checking Marshall out. However, I put myself together and headed to the room Marshall'd let me stay in, a little afraid of an awkward scenario of him coming back and seeing me changing. That would have been a disaster, considering my previous defeat.</p><p>Obviously, the clothes Marshall gave me were too big but they were soft and fresh, providing me with the desired relief to feel comfortable. Finishing "the dress-up", I glanced at the clock and it showed 2 am in the morning which made me realize that it took me too long and Marshall had probably waited for me to come for years. So even though I was nervous to face him again, I left my clothes in the room and went downstairs quietly as if someone else, besides Marshall, could hear me.</p><p>My late-night buddy, if I was brave enough to call him that, was sitting on the couch in front of the TV with his back to me, and I honestly can't even explain why I felt so awkward around him all the time. He invited me to watch the documentaries but there I was just unsurely making my way to where he was sitting. As if I had to ask for permission.</p><p>'I thought that you escaped through the window' Marshall spoke, catching me off guard and turning his head to me with a nonchalant expression. 'The only thing is that my security didn't call about the strangers on the property so I believed in the theory that you got lost' one corner of his mouth made its way up at the end of the sentence, and there he was, just mocking me. Well, I deserved it.</p><p>'It's not like you provided me with any map' I answered, playing carelessly and making my way around the couch to sit on it right in front of the TV. It appeared to be that we were pretty close to each other, even though one or two people could easily sit between us. And it wouldn't have felt so strange if we hadn't been alone in that huge house.</p><p>'Suits you not that bad, though' he told me, ignoring my comment and observing my figure from the head to my toes which made me feel really uneasy. Something playful was in his glance as if all of that was entertaining for him, and I couldn't decide if that was a good sign. It must have been but with Marshall, you never knew for sure.</p><p>'Yes, thank you again' I answered seriously, hiding my eyes from his, feeling how the memory of the awkward moment in Marshall's room was hanging in the air. Marshall, on the other hand, didn't seem uncomfortable at all. 'Since you keep saying I behave like I one night stand, though, it's just a natural thing to wear your clothes' I added, feeling an urge to tease him a little. It was like walking on the razor's edge but the danger had its own beauty, encouraging me to give it a try. Oh, and the pleasant but dizzying smell of his...</p><p>'I bet you've never been someone's one-night-stand' Marshall stated, grinning a little, and I didn't know why I suddenly felt offended by it. Childishly.</p><p>'Why do you think so?'</p><p>'Well, for example, I don't treat the chicks I sleep with that well to give them my clothes because I want them gone in the morning' he raised his eyebrows as if giving me a lecture. 'It's more about that sweet couple shit that I don't do. And you definitely don't seem like someone who realizes the difference' Marshall ended smugly, proving his point. I licked my lips.</p><p>Surely, he was right, I'd never been the one to do those kinds of things he did. It's wasn't like I never wanted to have a guy for just one night, I had thoughts about it after that messy situation with Jake. But I was too wrapped up in my struggles to let it happen or maybe, I was making a big deal out of it when it had to remain "casual". Perhaps, I needed to try to see but it always seemed like not the right time.</p><p>'I'm not gonna lie about it' I pronounced truthfully, and he nodded as if appreciating the honesty. I did feel like an immature teenager in front of Marshall that wanted to look more experienced than he was for real. But deep inside I knew that it just didn't make any sense. That's why I decided not to argue.</p><p>'So, what is the story? Madly in love with your boyfriend or some shit?' Marshall asked casually, just like I couldn't do, holding the CDs with documentaries in his hands and studying the covers as if searching for something in particular. I was surprised to hear him asking it because we'd never talked about personal things until that night. Hell, we'd never even had a proper conversation before. With Chelsea, it was in a matter of situation but that one was literally out of nowhere.</p><p>'I don't have a boyfriend' I said quietly, tasting the words bitter on my tongue. I was hesitant about the question in my head if I actually wanted that relationship back because of how it all had ended. But at the same time, I was still hurt. Unfortunately, things like that never go away fast, do they? 'I'm just not looking for a relationship'.</p><p>'Oh, I see, no need to explain' Marshall smirked as if knowing something obvious I had no idea about. 'You are still not over him'.</p><p>'I don't know, it just all ended not that well with him returning to his previous girlfriend when I didn't want to rush things' I told him, lowering my gaze at the fingers on my knees. It was very strange to talk about Jake with Marshall, and I didn't know why I had an urge to open up a bit. Maybe, it was all the fault of the May night that we were forced to spend together or maybe, it was just Marshall's attitude and calm expression. He just seemed like not his usual self.</p><p>'If you can't try to figure things out with the girl you are into, then either you're a pussy or not a man at all. An accurate diagnosis: an asshole, if you ask me' he announced, shrugging and giving me a quick look before returning his attention to the CDs in front of him. And I couldn't explain why his response made my chest lighter. 'Not as much of an asshole as everybody thinks I am, of course. But still impressive' Marshall chuckled to himself, and so did I, remembering how I gifted him with that label not so long ago. I didn't know him that well but at that moment something was telling me I'd been wrong before.</p><p>'That time in the car you deserved it' I said softly, a small tease escaping my lips, and my eyes caught his as he turned his head to me for a moment. It'd never felt so warming around Marshall before so I was nervously playing with the hem of my, or it was better to say "his", T-shirt.</p><p>'You won't prove anything so let's just watch this Buffalo Bill documentary' he jokingly dismissed the topic, showing me the CD that he picked. I wondered how many of those he had watched because the collection looked huge.</p><p>'You haven't seen that yet?' I asked simply, not really used to speak with Marshall that way.</p><p>'I've watched them all like twice or more. I have a lot of sleepless nights' he explained briefly and a shadow of uncomfortableness appeared on his face. I could tell now that he had serious insomnia and I couldn't imagine it was that much of a problem when I'd read something like that in a press before.</p><p>'I've never watched serial killer documentaries' I admitted, deciding not to push a touchy spot. I had a feeling that he still wouldn't let me.</p><p>'Then this is the good one to begin. Buffalo Bill is one of my favourites' Marshall put the CD in the DVD player and sat on the couch, leaning back comfortably.</p><p>We were done with talking so all I had to do was just watch as the opening credits started. Marshall looked very interested in the documentary with a focused glance and habitual, a bit scowled expression which made me throw glances at him again and again through the entire thing. I just couldn't help it. For some weird reason, I liked the thought of his presence. Just watching him from the side was kind of fascinating and I couldn't concentrate on the movie fully.</p><p>Noticing his hands laying lazily by his sides, I wondered how it would feel to be in his arms. Marshall wasn't a friendly one but how would he act with the ones he loved or liked, at least? Would he be caring, protective or gentle? Fuck that, it was going too far in my head but I couldn't avoid it. Those questions refused to leave my mind and I didn't dare to say anything so I had no choice but to pay attention to the documentary. </p><p>As time was going, I found myself genuinely interested in the things I was watching on the screen. I never really liked scary movies but that was a real-life nightmare, a story told about things that actually had happened, and somehow I even forgot where I was for some time. Glancing at the clock on the wall at some point, I saw it showing around 3 am in the morning and turned my head to look at Marshall. I finally felt that I wanted to sleep.</p><p>I didn't expect to see Marshall with his eyes closed. Catching a sound of his steady breathing, I suppressed a smile, realizing that he fell asleep. I stood up quietly, taking a remote control from his hand carefully and switching the TV off. My first instinct was to go back to the room I was supposed to stay in but I immediately decided against it, spotting a few blankets on the couch. Something alluring was about the thought of staying the night there, right next to Marshall. Besides, it was somehow scary to feel alone in that big mansion. What if it had ghosts of all the rapper careers killed by Marshall? Yeah, I know, lame excuse.</p><p>But instead of overthinking everything like always, I took the blanket and covered Marshall with it. Then got comfortable on the couch a bit further from him and laid my head on a pillow. Listening to the quiet sounds of the May moon night and Marshall's steady breath not far away from me, I didn't have to force myself to finally fall asleep.</p><p>I don't remember seeing any dreams that were worth mentioning. Except, the usual ones where I always had not enough time to finish my work or screwed up on an important interview with some big star which every time was different. I also would lie saying that Eminem wasn't involved in it. Weirdly, his face was appearing in rushing kaleidoscope of plots that I had to experience while sleeping and playing the role in all of them. Even though sometimes it wasn't a leading one. Tossing and turning frequently, I didn't notice how the morning came to wake both of us up in an unusual manner.</p><p>The first thing I heard waking up was the sound of the phone ringing. I rubbed my eyes and opened them reluctantly not ready to face morning light only to watch Marshall waking up not far away from me and reaching his hand to the table in front of us to answer the call. Picking it up, he covered his forehead with his temple and leaned back lazily, closing his eyes again.</p><p>'Yo' Marshall sighed in his morning voice, probably annoyed by being woken up. And to be honest, I could easily share his feelings.</p><p>'Oh, Royce? Morning, I expected you to call in a few days' Marshall opened his eyes completely this time, and I was impressed that even in his sleepy state he could manage to make a sarcastic comment. 'Yeah, I actually called you yesterday and it was an emergency so thanks a lot for answering, I appreciate that'.</p><p>'What happened? Oh, you fucked up, my man' Marshall continued, a cunning smirk slowly making its way to his lips as he turned his head and his glance found mine. I didn't have the time to think how I looked so I just nervously put a lock of hair behind my ear just not to stare back. Throwing an exploring look at the space between two of us, he seemed not surprised by realizing that we fell asleep together. Maybe, I had to thank Royce for it as he was babbling something on the phone.</p><p>'I was calling you because Ella forgot her stuff in your car. She couldn't go back to her place' Marshall explained, concentrating on the conversation as I saw some evil plan forming in his head by the movements on his expression. 'Nah, Royce, I'm not much of a helper. It was her business. She said she would find a place to stay' he said in the most careless way possible, and I raised my eyebrows at him questioningly. Marshall smirked a little, putting his finger to his lips to show me that I must have kept silent, and I gave him a smiley judgemental look in response. Damn, he wanted to scare Royce!</p><p>'Why do you think I had to help her? I'm not doing that kind of charity' he was answering back serious as hell, and I could hear Royce's worried voice shocked. Oh, Marshall had no mercy. 'No, it's your fault, not mine. I don't know where she's staying' he looked at me once more, eyes giggling, but his tone remained indifferent as if they were talking about something unimportant. Well, no wonder he did some acting. 'Listen, don't shout at me. She should be fine. Calm down, grab her stuff and move your ass to the studio. She should come to work, right? I'll be waiting for the explanation too. Tell your sidekick Porter to stop lurking behind the phone. I hear his heavy breathing' Marshall chuckled soundlessly, and we heard some loud complaining from Denaun from the other side of the line.</p><p>'No, I don't know if she is angry at you. I think that she should be because you two motherfuckers left with her shit. Okay, okay, see you at the studio' Marshall ended the call, grinning foolishly at his own small prank.</p><p>'Why did you do that? They will be worried' I said as serious as I could but my smile gave me out. Marshall surely noticed that.</p><p>'They deserved it. Besides, it's only for a bit. When you come to the studio, I'll tell them' he reassured me, shrugging and standing up from his spot. 'Thanks for the blanket, by the way' Marshall added out of nowhere, a small mocking escaping his lips, and I was ready to fall through the floor. Oh no, there it was, the morning embarrassment.</p><p>'You are welcome' I mumbled, hiding my eyes from his gaze which only made him chuckle. Goddamn, why?</p><p>'I'm not much of a cook but I got some eggs and any other thing I can find in the fridge for breakfast. You're in?' he asked, making his way to the kitchen area and getting some food from the fridge. I got up instantly, ready to offer any kind of help.</p><p>'Sure, what should I do?' I answered, coming closer and watching Marshall starting preparing the food. All of his movements were quick and masterful, telling me that it was just a matter of habit.</p><p>'Just sit and wait. It'll be faster' he said, nodding at the high chair by the counter. I wanted to argue but didn't dare, sitting on the chair and resting my head on my hand, not being able to get my eyes off of Marshall. Such a simple thing as watching him cooking breakfast seemed so unusual, yet so attracting as if I had a chance to see something I wasn't supposed to.</p><p>'So, Eminem cooks breakfasts often?' I asked with just a little bit of venom on my tongue to get his reaction. I learned shortly that most of the times he would respond, playing up to me which felt strangely intriguing.</p><p>'As often as he lets some strangers stay at his house for a night. Which is every fucking day, as you've already guessed' Marshall gave me a brief fake polite look, too busy to do it longer and I couldn't hold back a small laugh at his poisonous reply.</p><p>'Then he must be very experienced. I might expect a lot' I smirked, shifting in my seat, making myself comfortable. Marshall's clothes were heavenly soft.</p><p>'You already got too much, girl' he said in a satin voice on purpose and that "girl" word sounded smooth and almost sweetly as if it was barely a joke and I didn't know why it felt so unbearably pleasant. 'You spend the night at my house, you're sitting here in my clothes and I'm cooking you breakfast. Sounds like a jackpot to me' Marshall shrugged thoughtlessly like it wasn't a big deal. I was catching every move of his as he was frying eggs and preparing coffee. A great sight to look at even with the accompaniment of his arrogant words. </p><p>'I wished that Eminem guy was not that cocky' I said, acting as if I was dreaming of something and brushing my hair with my hand slowly. I couldn't help that weird feeling I got just playing this game of words with Marshall. And a smirk on his lips as he turned around to face me and place a plate with breakfast on the counter in front of me was my well-deserved reward.</p><p>'If you'd wished such unbelievable things, then you should really have gone by the time I woke up' his blue eyes dared me graciously which was nearly impossible to do and I bit my lip, not sure what to answer. The action didn't go away unnoticed as Marshall shook his head as if saying "I was expecting you to fight back" but I just received the plate and snorted. There was something incredibly enjoyable at loosing to him. However, we both knew that it didn't really matter that much.</p><p>As we were eating together in his kitchen, I was thinking that the food was unexpectedly good and since we were keeping silent, I was holding myself back from looking at Marshall. It was one of the weirdest nights I'd ever experienced but at the same time, I caught myself on a thought that I didn't really want that to end. Why wouldn't Royce keep my stuff for a little bit more? No, no, no, I was crazy letting myself think that way. For a night I fell off from reality so that had to end as soon as possible. Taking a look at Marshall's profile beside me, I sighed heavily and continued eating my breakfast.</p><p>We appeared at the studio nearly an hour later after getting ready and taking Marshall's car. He spent a whole drive talking to some producer he wanted the beats from and I had nothing to do but stare from the window at the morning Detroit which after such a strange night seemed a little different. Or was it just me?</p><p>'Ella, oh my God! We are so sorry about yesterday! Where were you? We were worried sick!' when we finally arrived, that was the first words that greeted me in the restroom of the studio as Royce and Denaun with terrified expressions on their faces started to patter them right when I came in. </p><p>Royce was a calmer one who was trying to explain everything rationally while Denaun was just emotionally waving his hands begging me to forgive them which in tandem looked funny and even cute in some way. I would probably listen to that for another hour but Marshall came in after me with a firm intention to stop it. </p><p>'Cut the crap, you two' he entered without saying "hi" and went straight to the fridge to grab a RedBull. 'You fucked up, just apologize and we'll forget it. No need to cry about it'.</p><p>'Shut up, Marshall' Denaun snapped almost furious. 'You are nothing better than us. You left her all alone without any help, asshole!'</p><p>'The only thing you can compete with me in' Marshall answered, no change in his tone or look. He was playing.</p><p>'Fuck you' Denaun threw at him irritatingly. 'Anyway, it's not about you. Ella, are you gonna tell us where you stayed the night?'</p><p>'Well...' I mumbled hesitantly, finding Marshall's eyes. He was fast enough to cover his smirk, drinking from a can, and I interpreted that as a sign to reveal the truth. Look at us, we had common secrets. Crazy, right? </p><p>'She spent it at my place' Marshall said before I could answer, helping me out, and I felt my cheeks reddening for some mysterious reason. There was nothing bad at his words but still, the way it sounded had something "indecent" in it', as my teacher of literature used to say. Watching Royce's and Denaun's expressions, I knew that they won't let it go easily.</p><p>'Yous son of a bitch, I knew it! That's what I'm talking about!' Denaun exclaimed with a weird happy face, and Royce whistled at it, suppressing a grin. They seemed not really bothered by the fact that Marshall'd lied to them before as some other thoughts occupied their minds. I suspected that those thoughts weren't pure at all. 'Why did you lie, though?' Denaun answered annoyed with a funny grimace that only he could make.</p><p>'Because you deserved it. You left somewhere and didn't answer any calls. Care to explain?' Marshall met his outrage as if it was a casual conversation about weather or something ordinary, sipping his RedBull, clearly not impressed.</p><p>'We had things to do...' Royce scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.</p><p>'Yeah, sure. More like you had some drinks and chicks to do, right?' Marshall replied sarcastically, raising his eyebrows expectedly like a father in front of the kids. I couldn't hold back a smile.</p><p>'Whatever, man' Royce tried to dismiss the topic as I could see he was a little bit ashamed. I didn't want guys to feel that way. They just wanted to have some fun and there was no need to babysit me. Besides, unintentionally they made my night a little more interesting than I expected it to be.</p><p>'Yes, it's fine. I'm not mad at all. It was my fault too. I should have checked my things earlier' I intervened in the conversation, giving both guys a reassuring smile. </p><p>'Cool, team up with these assholes. I bet they would have helped you yesterday' Marshall told me with a pissed-off expression. I chuckled at his childish behaviour, intending to answer something but Denaun was ahead of me.</p><p>'Don't worry, Marshall. Maybe, one day you'll turn from a jerk into a nice guy and Ella'll like you the way she likes us' he made a big cocky smile like a kid in the yard that had a better bike than Marshall. Oh, fools.</p><p>'Don't be stupid, ladies like that I'm a jerk' Marshall answered with a deliciously smug smirk, turning his glance to me as if expecting me to prove it. His blue eyes were mocking me, doubting my courage and I was nervous wreck under his gaze. </p><p>'Sorry but personally, I'm not keen on that' I said, looking straight onto his eyes even though I knew that he wouldn't believe. There was no good choice of words after what Marshall said. Where did he get that from? It wasn't like I showed any signs of liking him. Damn it, I shouldn't have stared at him at the breakfast.</p><p>'Yeah, let's play it that way' Marshall winked at me, not losing a smirk. His voice sounded way softer and lower than it should have been but I tried to ignore it.</p><p>'So, you two actually didn't fuck?' Denaun asked bluntly with a disappointing note in his tone and Marshall burst into laughter, finishing his RedBull. What?!</p><p>'Goddamn, are you dumb or what?' Royce punched Denaun lightly with a judgemental look on his face. Thank you, the only rational voice here. </p><p>'I was just curious' Denaun shrugged as if there was nothing unusual about it.</p><p>'Of course, we did. There is no way any female can stay at Marshall Mathers' house for a night and resist his charms' Marshall commented sarcastically, making his way to the door and watching me carefully. 'Right, baby?' he pronounced softly, making a masterful cute fake expression and a flash lightened his eyes with a challenge, leaving only two of us in the room that minute. A shiver ran down my spine as if words could feel like a touch. I parted my lips to argue but Marshall just smirked to himself and left the room. </p><p>I was left stunned not really sure what to do while Denaun and Royce were looking at me with cracked smiles whether apologizing for Marshall's behaviour or just simply not knowing what to say. There was no way I could cover my blush as the redness on my cheeks could work as a light signal on the streetlight on the crossroads. Dear Detroit mayor, all job suggestions, please, send to my email or just call Jeff Wade. I blush frequently thanks to Marshall Mathers that's why I'm so good for this position. Oh, God.</p><p>I didn't know what to say so I decided to gather myself and head to my office to think all about it alone. I come up with some excuse and turned around go on my way. Exiting the room, I heard a quiet exchange of words between Royce and Denaun. They probably thought I couldn't hear it.</p><p>'So, you think that it was his way of saying "no" to my question?' Denaun asked like a small child asks its mother why the sky is blue. Oh, he didn't get it?</p><p>'I believe, my man, it was his way of saying "not yet"' Royce answered with an enigmatic glance and a small smile as both of them headed to the recording room. Damn, what?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey you, new chapter! Got a few delays on it but I hope that you enjoyed it. Huge thanks to everybody who showed the support to the previous chapters, that was inspiring!</p><p>I was afraid that this whole sleepover thing will be too long but I hope that it turned out fine. Please, leave a like or comment to express your opinion on it and encourage me to post frequently. Much love for you all!</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. A date</h2></a>
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  <em>And I am whatever you say I am, If I wasn't then why would I say I am? In the paper, the news, every day I am, radio won't even play my jam.</em>
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  <em>'Cause I am whatever you say I am...<em></em></em>
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    <em>'I can't believe the fact that you spent the night at his house, saw him shirtless and nothing ever happened between two of you. You're lying to me, girl!' Diana's serious expression snapped me out of thoughts with a sound of her older sister-like voice that the whole cafe we were sitting in undoubtedly heard. I saw a couple of heads turning into our direction with way too interested looks on their faces. I bet that they would judge me, knowing that I didn't listen carefully to the things my friend was passionately telling me. In fact, they would be very disappointed finding out that I was replaying in my head lyrics from "Marshall Mathers LP" instead of it. But well, they didn't know it.</em>
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    <em>They also didn't know that the reason we met up was that I missed at least a couple of hundreds of calls from Diana when I forgot my phone in Royce's car. She told me she was worried sick about me so when I got it back, there was no way I could avoid meeting face to face with her the next morning.</em>
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    <em>I really didn't mind it. Diana was my best friend and even though she had a "specific nature", as Trevor from the publishing used to say, I appreciated her for always being there for me and caring that much to meet me early in the morning for a coffee before work. The only thing was that the previous night I spent a lot of time listening to "Marshall Mathers LP" and obviously, thinking about the night at Marshall's house which didn't help my concentration at all. And if I'd been brave enough, I would have told Diana that I didn't like the path that my thoughts picked. Mostly because even though I had to be only interested in Eminem's music, it happened to be that I was starting to get interested in him. In the most dangerous way possible.</em>
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    <em>'That's a simple truth' I answered finally, dismissing all my previous thoughts only to come back to them later as the heads of the people in the cafe returned to their conversations and stopped paying attention to us. I made a sip of my iced coffee and grimaced at the sudden too sweet taste in it. Damn, that was not what I needed for the morning.</em>
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    <em>'I'm disappointed, I have to be honest. When you said on the phone that you spent the night at Eminem's house, I was ready to listen to all the spicy details to it. Why do you have to do me like that?' Diana made a fake resentful look at me, and I couldn't help but chuckle. She was cheering for any kind of interaction between me and Marshall which was absurd as hell but I had no power to prevent her from doing it.</em>
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    <em>'I've told you millions of times that it's my work. Thinking about things like that is an unnecessary distraction'.</em>
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    <em>'Don't go all boring Ella on me' she snorted, rolling her eyes. 'I'd rather you told me if he seemed at least interested. I won't believe that he wasn't after the "Right, baby?" situation' Diana licked her cherry-coloured lips in a grin.</em>
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    <em>'I don't think he was' I said a little nervously. For some reason, I'd been thinking about the same question earlier and that just wasn't a good sign. 'I mean, why would he? All those jokes are just a part of his personality. The moments that may seem weird between us are probably just the way he behaves usually' I told Diana, trying to hide a bitter taste on my tongue with the thoughts I was saying out loud. I just knew that there was no fucking way that Marshall would be "interested". We were not even friendly with each other, taking breaks for some banters or awkward interactions.</em>
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    <em>'I guess, we'll have to see how things go. Don't rush to the conclusions' Diana's tone had a note of humour in it as if she was teasing me, but the look of her light brown eyes was soft on me to the point of care.</em>
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    <em>'It doesn't matter, though' I waved my hand as if trying to dispel the topic with a simple gesture. 'I have a date today'.</em>
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    <em>'You have what?' Diana looked at me wide-eyed, completely forgetting about the cold brew she was drinking just a second ago. I smiled a little, thinking how good it is sometimes to act unpredictably in front of people who's known you for a long time. But well, that was where I had to explain something.</em>
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    <em>So, when I got my phone back, I realized that Diana wasn't the only one texting me. I had a few missed calls from Jeff, text from Paul who was making sure everything was okay and even one missed call from Trevor which I promised myself to figure out a little bit later. But the most persistent from all of them appeared to be Josh from the music store. Surprisingly?</em>
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    <em>I had to apologize to him and explain the situation briefly without mentioning Marshall's name so we had a quite good talk the previous evening which in conclusion led to Josh asking me out. And even though I felt kind of hesitant about it at first, thanks to Josh's attempts to convince me and the whole thing with thoughts about Marshall, I finally decided to give it a try. A little date never hurt anybody, right?</em>
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    <em>So there I was, holding these thoughts back for a while and watching Diana's astonished expression, waiting to speak again.</em>
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    <em>'I have a date' I repeated with a small smile as if Diana was a foolish child who didn't understand all those "adult" things. I wouldn't lie If I said that sometimes she really was.</em>
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    <em>'And who is he?' Diana narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously like a prosecutor in front of the defendant. I bet that from the perspective of the strangers in that cafe we seemed a little bit weird with me chuckling and her having that funny look on her face. Thank God we didn't care.</em>
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    <em>'The guy I told you about from the music store' I sipped my coffee again, forgetting about the unpleasant taste of it.</em>
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    <em>'Oh, that sweet Josh guy' she snorted at me disappointed with the answer. 'And what are you gonna do? You'll go to a picnic in the park and he will serenade you on his guitar some cheesy indie song with his sweet voice, looking at you with sweet eyes and talking about some sweet shit? Girl, this much sugar will get you diabetes' she brushed her raven hair away from her shoulders with an annoyed look at her face.</em>
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    <em>'I see you don't really know what indie is all about. He is sweet but it's not like that' I couldn't suppress small laughter at her silly joke. 'He is also very funny and knows a lot about music. Not to mention that he has great looks and so on...' I stumbled to continue, though. Defending Josh had to seem natural but instead, it felt like I wasn't hooked on what I was saying. Damn Diana, that conversation was revealing some blind spots in the perfect picture that I built for that evening. The main blind spot was that I wasn't very excited about it no matter how hard I was trying to hide it from myself.</em>
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  <em>
    <em>'Yeah, right, but I don't think that it's for you. I know that you're not someone who has a sweet tooth' Diana pointed at my coffee that I wasn't eager to drink because of the oversweetness in it. Partially, she had a good point.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'It has nothing to do with Josh, though. I think...' I wasn't able to continue as I saw a text on my phone from Marshall. It was almost 9 already so he was supposed to pick me up before the studio as usually.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Oooh, the devil himself, right?' Diana winked at me playfully, making my face crimson red as if she caught me doing something wrong.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Sorry, I have to go already. He will pick me up around the corner' I stood up from my spot, typing the answer quickly and trying not to look at my friend. She knew everything that I didn't want to admit myself, and that was the reason I had an urge to escape as soon as possible. However, escaping right to Marshall was like jumping from a big and dangerous flame to another parlous one.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'I wonder, dear, why Josh doesn't make those cute cheeks of yours blush while Mr Marshall Mathers does it with ease, using a neutral text message. Maybe, you'll help me to figure out?' Diana cocked her eyebrow at me with a big smug grin and a giggle in the glance of her light brown eyes. In the morning sun, she could even play the role of your typical girl next door if it wasn't for that grin.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Oh, shut up' I didn't let my chuckle leave my lips to prove Diana right so I grabbed my stuff quickly and basically, stormed out from the cafe followed by her fruity laugh.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>The cafe wasn't that far from my apartment so I had to ask Marshall to go just two blocks away from the routine destination which surprisingly, he agreed to do without arguing. So when I made it to the spot I told him to meet at, I immediately spotted a familiar Cadillac Escalade already waiting for me. Wish me luck?</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Good morning' I greeted quietly, sitting in the car and instantly giving in Marshall's presence, catching a smell of his cologne. After the "Right, baby?" situation, as Diana was kind enough to call it, it felt a little bit weird to be with him alone again, even though at the night at his house it seemed almost normal.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Hey' he answered casually, giving me a side glance with an unreadable expression. I could swear to God that he was holding back a small smirk, and when he spoke again unexpectedly, I was proved right. 'So, how was the night at your own place after the famous Marshall Mathers hotel?' he asked me as if it was nothing but I caught a smooth tease slipping from his tone. Wow, talking in the car?</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Oh, I spent the whole night crying' I told him in the most serious way possible, stealing a glimpse of his features. That day he was wearing a sports jacket with a white T-shirt underneath it, and I decided not to look at it just in case I would remember his bare chest and make myself even more nervous. Josh, Josh, think about Josh...</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'The hell? Why?' Marshall raised his eyebrow at me with a puzzled look on his face, clearly not catching the sarcasm. Oh boy, I loved that.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Well, I need some time to recover from the service of Marshall Mathers' hotel and accept the fact that my apartment will never be that good of a place' I answered, trying not to smile. It wasn't even close to the amiable interaction I had with other people around him but somehow I was enjoying it a lot more than I should have been. There was this distance between us that could be counted with miles but at the same time it seemed like we could accomplish it with just a reach of a hand, and that was such an intriguing feeling.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'I should've seen that coming' Marshall chuckled lightly, and I felt a pleasant ticklish sensation on my skin. His voice was doing magic to me, and unfortunately, I didn't mind it.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'You should have' I stated, finally giving up my smirk for him to see. For a few moments, we were quiet again, watching the road, but when I turned my head to look his way, Marshall's eyes were already set on me, and he spoke again.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Royce keeps saying that I owe both of you dinner after that day when I couldn't go' oh yeah, that time when he went to meet Kim. 'So, today he planned one for all of us after work and the bill is on me. What you'll say?' his tone was calm and confident as if he was convinced in my reaction, both hands lazily on the steering wheel. And no matter how hard it was to admit, I had to say he had reasons to act like that. I wanted to go but the date with Josh... Oh no, why exactly that day?</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'I'm surprised that you actually agreed on something' I pronounced wryly, avoiding the attentive stare of light blue eyes and somehow managing to avoid the subject. I didn't want to say no just yet but I knew I had to.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Paul's giving me lectures every day about being friendly to you so that's what I'm doing' he told me nonchalantly, shrugging. Oh yeah, right, that was just because of Paul. How could I think it wasn't?</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'If you don't want, then you don't have to. I already got used to you acting all indifferent' I felt my mood going about a few points down and so was my voice. The last thing I needed was Marshall to pretend to be good with me. Just when I started to think we were easier with each other.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Thanks for saying that because usually, I do whatever the fuck everyone says' a venomous remark left his lips with a gruff tone, and that was when I regretted what I said. Watching his now frowned expression, I wanted to punch myself. That was his weird but genuine gesture to invite me, wasn't it?</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'I know you don't' I sighed heavily, adding as much "sorry" to my voice as it was possible because there was no way I could say that aloud. The car suddenly appeared to be too small for two of us.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Whatever' Marshall stated monotonously, and I wished I could bring that smirk back. 'So, I tell Royce that you don't want to go?' he asked, not giving me a glance. For some reason, it felt like he wasn't asking for Royce or was I making that up?</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'No, I want to go' I said softly, torturing the fingers on my right hand. 'I just can't'.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Why?' was all he asked bluntly. Well, I already learned that he wasn't the one to be delicate at any subject.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'I have a date' I answered slowly, not sure about his reaction.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'A date?' Marshall's eyes all of a sudden found mine, and I could read a light surprise in them which in a moment turned into a scowl. I wondered how his tone remained the same. 'And who is the one?' he continued, returning his glance to the road. Why was he even asking? No, no way.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Does it matter?' I pronounced nervously, holding my breath for a moment. Oh, who was I kidding? I wanted him to care, at least a bit.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'I guess, no' he mumbled after a small pause, and his face remained serious. I wished Marshall's voice sounded gentler, just like he'd pronounced my name in front of Chelsea that night in the club but I guess, under those circumstances, it was completely random and could never happen again.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'It's the guy I've met recently buying your CDs' I told him, deciding to give that up and turning my head to the window to distract myself from Marshall's figure. It was much more difficult to think, looking at him.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Eminem's music connects people. How romantic' I heard Marshall saying sarcastically but this time a little mocking made its way back to his tone. 'At least, he has a great music taste' he added, and I caught him hiding a cocky grin. Oh, cool, he was starting having fun with this. And what did "at least" mean?</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Oh, he's not much of a fan of yours' I commented, smirking. At that moment, I was glad that Josh liked indie. Screw Diana's jokes at that point.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Then he's not worth it, you should cancel' Marshall shrugged, giving me a fake careless look at which I couldn't help but chuckle. Something different was in his glance, though. As if a joke wasn't really a joke.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Surely, it's a big disadvantage but he is very sweet so it'll make it up for me' I told him, subconsciously trying to paint a positive picture of Josh in front of him as if Marshall's opinion on it mattered. I didn't know why I wanted him to react in some way. Maybe, it was because of all of those women I had a chance to find out about in his life, and I just wanted him to know that I had something similar as well. Weird?</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Oh, so you're into sweet ones, huh?' suddenly a shameless smirk appeared on his lips, and I freaked out that he understood my motives. He gave me a mocking look that told me his mood switched for better and I wondered if it was because of it.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'I think I am' I answered hesitantly, looking at him back. Did I have a thing about sweet guys? No. Should have Marshall known about it? Definitely no. Apart from that, there was terrible traffic that morning so along with the conversation the road to the studio seemed eternal.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'You think?' he raised his eyebrows lightly, turning the wheel and looking at the road. 'That's convincing' I saw Marshall, biting his cheek not to make his smirk wider as he gave me a short glance, showing that he understood something I was desperately trying to hide. And I didn't know what it was but I had a feeling it wasn't for good. The rest of the ride the blush refused to leave my cheeks and so was the same with the smirk on Marshall's lips.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>When we arrived, I headed straight to my office. Thank God Marshall had some phone call to answer so he stayed at the parking lot a little longer. I plopped on my seat behind the desk, sighing heavily and mentally promising myself to act more confident around him next time. I didn't like that he was reading me like a book. But it felt like he was, successfully. Avoiding a poster with an image of him on the wall, I switched on the computer and started working. But oh well, surprise, the work was also about Marshall.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>The whole day I decided not to leave the room. Well, it wasn't like I had one of those annoying sessions in my head where I was debating on whether it was smart to face Marshall and start some word exchange which never ended well. It was more about working quietly all alone that captured me and despite Paul's short visit to check on me, there was nobody bothering my loneliness.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>However, as the evening came, I glanced at the clock and received a text from Josh, stood up from my spot and started to get ready to leave. The workday was over and Paul had nothing planned for Marshall so I had a well-earned right to go on a date with Josh. The strange thing was that I realized I hadn't thought about it until the work ended and didn't even check on my appearance. There was a mirror hanging on the wall, so I decided to try a new peachy lipstick instead of the lip balm from the morning and brush my hair. When I was about done with my preparations, I heard a knock at the door.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Hey, Ella, we haven't seen you all day, you're busy?' the door opened and I saw two of my favourite dorks standing on the threshold with small smiles on their faces. I missed the moment when I got used to them in such a short period of time and I wondered how hard it would be to say goodbye when the project would be over. But it was still lots of time before that so I tried to forget the thought.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Come in' I gestured for Royce and Denaun to sit down and finishing the last touches to my make up. I still had 15 minutes left so I decided to chat with them a little. 'Yeah, kind of, the last few days had something to write about'.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'We heard you had a date today, though' Royce stated carefully, sharing a secret look with Denaun, and I sighed, feeling tired. At that point, that fact started to seem annoying for some reason and I wished I never had one planned.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'I do as a matter of fact' I answered for what it seemed like the millionth time that day. That date wasn't even a thing yet but somehow all the people I met that day were very eager to discuss it. I bet I could call Jeff or even Melanie from the publishing and the first thing they would say to me would be "So, we heard you had a date today". 'The question is how you two know about it'.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'It's simple. We asked Marshall about the dinner today and he said that you couldn't go because of the date' Royce said, shrugging as if they were not sticking their nose into my business.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Yeah, so we came to say that we don't approve' Denaun gave me a fake severe glance like I was a child that broke something very expensive and had no idea about the seriousness of its actions. I couldn't hold back a little laugh.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Oh, you don't approve? And what that supposed to mean? Now I have not to go because you said so?'</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'That's right' Denaun pronounced nonchalantly, crossing his arms on his chest to sit in a more comfortable way.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'We just think that missing a very important dinner with your friends from work is not a good thing for a project' Royce stepped in with an attempt to provide some arguments. Damn, why would they think it would work?</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Royce's speaking the truth. And that's not the only problem' Denaun was trying to speak as serious as possible but it looked funny somehow. 'Even though Marshall said that we shouldn't worry because you don't like your date that much anyway, we still...'</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'He said what?' I couldn't believe my ears. Marshall was discussing my date with Josh with them?</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'I swear, you need some filter on your mouth, Denaun. We were literally talking about how we shouldn't tell it before entering the room and you still fucked up' Royce sighed heavily, hiding his face in the palm of his right hand.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>I had admitted that I found myself a little lost in the situation as an unfamiliar feeling spread through my chest. Why the hell Marshall told Denaun and Royce that I "don't like my date that much anyway"? Was the conversation in the car enough for him to make this conclusion? And if so, why did he bother to comment on it?</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>I didn't have time to process everything fully because when Denaun was about to say something, we heard a knock on the door. It swang open without waiting for the response a moment later, revealing nobody else but the subject of my thoughts. Great, now my office was a meeting place?</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Yo, I'm looking for you everywhere, you ready to go grab dinner?' Marshall asked without greetings, aiming his words to my previous "guests" who sat on their places with the patient but excited facial expressions. I bet that seeing both Marshall and me in the same room was like a weird form of entertainment for them, and honestly, I couldn't understand why.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Man, you're right in time' Denaun grinned foolishly at Marshall who seemed a bit confused by the way we all acted. Denaun grinning, Royce having a careful look and me, standing near my table stunned.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'I'm always in time' Marshall answered cockily, not very interested to deal with all of it. 'All ready for the date? Good luck' he finally switched his attention to me, giving me a shameless confident smirk with a mocking glance of light blue eyes, not forgetting to observe my posture. Oh damn it, why did he have to appear?</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Thank you' I said dryly, staring at him, the words of Denaun making circles in my mind, not giving a single break for that fucking date with Josh.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'I think we should leave you two alone because you definitely have something to discuss' Royce stood up, giving Denaun a meaningful glance to join him.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Damn, the interesting part was just starting, Royce!' Denaun complained, standing up reluctantly.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Shut up and move!' Royce hushed him with clear irritation, and in a moment two of them disappeared in the hallway, closing the door behind them. Typical, what can I say?</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'What was that all about?' Marshall spoke again after watching this ridiculous scene without moving, and suddenly I was aware of us being alone in that room. The clock on the wall showed me that I had 5 more minutes before I had to go so I was silently hoping that there wouldn't be any big delay, would there?</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'I don't have that much time but since you're here, I would like to know why you feel so free to speak on my personal life' I pronounced in a firm voice, holding his gaze and trying to sound as unwaveringly as I could. It wasn't like I wanted to argue with him or demand an apology but I knew I had to say something on it.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Oh, that. They asked and I answered' he chuckled lightly, putting both of his hands in the pockets of his jeans and making a few steps closer to my desk. For some reason, he was having fun. 'Any specific thing that you didn't like?' he cocked an eyebrow at me with a deceiving, cunning look on his features. Oh, he knew exactly what I was talking about.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Yes' I answered neutrally, feeling a bit uncomfortable about the whole thing. As if I was the guilty one. 'Why did you tell Royce and Denaun that I didn't like my date that much?'</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'I like how it's the main thing bothering you' Marshall's smirk grew wider, sending a blush to my cheeks at his comment. Fuck, I shouldn't have started the conversation in the first place. 'But I was just speaking my mind. You know, it's kinda my thing, I always say what I think' he shrugged carelessly, acting like it was the most obvious thing on a planet. He wanted to make a fool of me, I was positive about that.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'But what you said is not true' I tried to make my voice sound as confident as possible, though under the glance of Marshall's knowing eyes it was very hard to do. I wasn't looking directly into his eyes only because I knew for sure that I would lose.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'It's not?' he made a surprised face masterfully, just well enough for me to understand that he didn't buy it. 'Or maybe, you want me to believe so?' he said in a velvet, unbelievably gentle tone only to make the effect of the words worse while сocking his head to one side to look at me almost leniently. At that moment I couldn't stand that annoying arrogant smirk on his features.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'You're flattering yourself' I managed to pronounce. I was too nervous to continue the conversation. How could he be so full of himself? 'I'm already late. I need to go' I added, not waiting for his answer and grabbing my stuff to go but as I made it to the middle of my way to the door, it was suddenly blocked by Marshall's figure.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'So mad at the truth that you forgot your phone' I heard his voice not far away from my ear in a teasing tone, a slight feeling of his hot breath tickling my skin. My gaze landed on Marshall's neck, giving me a reminder of the sight of his collarbones right under the fabric of his shirt, and I made a mistake of smelling his damn scent. I raised my glance only to find his eyes observing my face cunningly with a clear mocking and my own breath being unsteady. He was holding my phone in his hand and the clock on the wall was practically screaming that I was late but what if I said that Marshall was right and I didn't care that much?</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Very kind of you' I let out sarcastically, clearing my throat, which was the only thing my courage helped me to do and took my phone from his hand quickly, making sure not to touch him. He chuckled, smirking, and surprisingly, stepped off. I wasted no time opening the door with an unstoppable urge to escape as soon as it was possible. Around Marshall, I was acting silly.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Oh, by the way' he called me before I could exit the room. Oh, God. I turned around to face him once more, catching something playful in his glance. 'I like your lipstick. Such a shame it won't get any use tonight' was all he said, causing my entire face to heat up with that fucking chortle of his. What, he thought I wouldn't kiss Josh? Well...</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>I swallowed the answer, all of a sudden realizing how badly I wanted him to fix that problem and find any suitable option to use my lipstick. But that was the worst idea on the planet. Marshall was just making fun of me and I had to act as indifferent as possible.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>'Maybe, it will' I answered daringly to his smug face. Leaving him with no chance to respond, I left the room with thousands of thoughts rushing through my mind. It was only outside when I could catch my breath. Texting "I'm on my way" to Josh and catching a taxi, I thought that I should have actually considered wearing that new lipstick more.</em>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey, so it's officially the longest chapter I've ever written. Not that it matters lol. I really hope that you liked it because I don't really know how to feel about it.</p><p>Please, leave me a like or comment to express your opinion on it and encourage me to post frequently. Huge thanks for everyone who's been supporting my work, I'm very grateful for it. Hope you're all doing fine. Much love for all of you:3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Dressing room teases and late dinners</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The infamous date with Josh happened to be a blur. I mean, how could it be any other way after that strange banter I shared with Marshall? He left my head with lots of thoughts that intoxicated my mind, not giving a single chance to care about seeing Josh. So, when I finally made it to the cafe we had to meet at, I was scattered, to say the least.</p><p>Josh, indeed, noticed my odd behaviour but instead of asking about reasons, made everything to involve me in the conversation and chose the topics I'd have been interested in. I had to give him big props for that because I could see him genuinely making an effort, and no matter how distracted I was, it helped. In the middle of the evening, my full attention for at least some time was Josh's. It was surely a great date, and immediately, he asked me for a second one. Though returning to my apartment later that day, I felt guilty for making Marshall my favourite topic to think about, and I didn't know what to do with it.</p><p>Paul left me a voicemail, telling that the next day Eminem would have a performance in one of the Detroit clubs, celebrating the "Relapse". He explained that Marshall wasn't ready for any tours yet but some live appearances here and there would help him to get in shape again. Sometime later that month he had some performances in LA, New York and on a couple of TV and radio shows. I caught myself excited, hearing it.</p><p>There were also rumours about Dr. Dre showing up as surprise guest on the next day's performance. I knew it was a big deal even for me so couldn't help but felt a little nervous. I bet Trevor would be a much better option for my position, knowing so much about hip hop, but I was slowly and surely learning whenever I had a chance. So, there was nothing left for me but hope for the better. It couldn't be that hard, right?</p><p>The next day I arrived at the club earlier just like Paul asked me to. At that time Marshall should have already finished his rehearsals and had some rest before the show. I passed the security at the entrance and went to search for any familiar faces as the staff was rushing everywhere, making sure to perfect even the slightest details. It was one more proof of how important the performance was.</p><p>I spotted Paul almost instantly. He was there checking on everything that was happening around, and I wondered how it could be possible to be in control of such a massive event. Marshall was lucky to have such a manger.</p><p>'Ella, hello' Paul greeted me, sounding a little distant as he was all wrapped up in the preparations. 'The show starts soon so Marshall is in his dressing room. You can go there. Dre is also here already so Marshall will introduce you. I'd like to do it myself but there is still a lot of stuff to do'.</p><p>'It's okay, I'll be fine' I reassured him with a small smile. Starting to work on this project, I never imagined Paul to be so attentive to me. However, somehow we got along pretty well, and he was always there if I needed anything. I did know that he expected some really good results from this project, though, so I decided to do everything within that month to prove him right.</p><p>'Hold on' he stopped me as I turned around to leave. 'I'm always too busy to talk to you properly but I just wanted to ask how the things going between you and Marshall. Are there any problems?' Paul's full focus was finally on me with a concerned look on his face. What should have I answered, huh?</p><p>'No, no problems that I can't solve myself, thank you' I said in a calm tone, feeling that I actually didn't have to lie. Of course, it wasn't easy to communicate with Marshall in any way but recently it'd been more fun than unpleasant. And to reveal the truth, even a little bit more... 'Don't worry about me' I added, nodding at him gratefully, and made my way to Marshall's dressing room. In a recently developed habit, I felt a nervous sensation of anticipation appearing in my chest.</p><p>There were two security guards near the door so I spent some time proving my identity. When it came to safety, Paul had everything figured out at best. Though, when the door opened, I was instantly met by the familiar malcontent voice, and all of the thoughts about the security and Paul were left in the hallway. I wouldn't lie if I said I got used to it.</p><p>'Goddammit, how many times I've told the security not to let those fucking journalists in my dressing room? What do I pay them for?'</p><p>Marshall Mathers was lazily sitting on the small black leather couch in the middle of the dressing room, sipping his Red Bull. There wasn't much room with a big mirror table and another one with snacks and drinks but I was too occupied with Marshall's presence to notice it. He was watching me with a serious, even severe expression that, however, couldn't prevent the small playful smirk on his lips from showing up. I tried no to stare that much to play cool as the glance of clear blue eyes was giggling at me which had been rare to see between us earlier. Was Marshall in a good mood, after all?</p><p>'Listen, whatever your name is, get out of here before I call my bodyguards' he added in a fake firm tone, pointing at the door and continuing his masterful acting. Alright, he wanted to joke around?</p><p>'But Mr Mathers, just one question!' I made a high-pitched voice, giving him an annoyed expression and making a few steps forward to where he was sitting. I decided not to argue and play up to him, and judging by the way his smirk was growing wider, I knew he didn't expect but definitely liked it.</p><p>'Yeah, yeah, I have to listen to this bullshit every day. Just get out, I'm busy' Marshall snorted with a contemptuous hand movement, acting pompous, and I had to suppress small laughter at it. Why did it feel so weird but fun at the same time? I'd never acted like that with anyone before. Not even with Jake.</p><p>'I know, I see you being so busy doing nothing but I promise, just one question and I'll go. I desperately need to know the answer'.</p><p>'Okay, whatever. You have one minute. What you want?' he put the Red Bull on the small table in front of the couch and crossed his arms on his chest, faking the irritation on his face but failing with a smirk. Oh boy, what got into him that day?</p><p>'The question is why do you always have to act like a jerk around me?' I asked, filling my tone with as much sarcasm as I could and giving him an annoyed glance in addition. I didn't want to show him that I liked our game because that would have been a fiasco.</p><p>'Hmmm, let me see' Marshall made a pensive expression, standing up and going to the table with snacks to pick something. I took that as an opportunity to sit on the armpit of the sofa. 'I don't know, maybe because I feel you enjoying this' he answered in a silky tone, giving me a side look and raising his eyebrows with a shameless grin. I wondered how he could be so relaxed and careless in his behaviour while I'd been tense since the first moment I entered the room. Perhaps, I had to control myself a little bit better but that just seemed impossible around Marshall.</p><p>'Oh, so everything is for my pleasure? That's surprising, I have to say' I raised my chin a bit watching him as if emphasising my daring voice. Marshall was focused on choosing between baby carrots and a bag of chips but as he heard me saying it, I saw him giving that up and turning his body in my direction with a chuckle.</p><p>'Sure, isn't it obvious?' he answered without any pause, his tone mirroring my own sarcasm. 'How was the date, by the way?' he added slyly, taking a few steps in my direction. Oh Lord, why did he even ask that? To make me feel uncomfortable? Was that what he wanted?</p><p>'You seem way too interested in everything that comes to that date' I commented, feeling an urge to hear more of his reaction, know exactly why he was asking it. I hadn't realized how much I needed him to be bothered by my date with Josh until he spoke on it again. Could there be the slightest chance that Marshall didn't like the fact that I was going out with someone?</p><p>'Well, it's always fun to watch your reaction' he shrugged carelessly, getting closer and closer with an unreadable expression. I didn't notice how it happened that I was sitting on the armpit of the sofa and he was towering above me. Not close enough to blow my mind but definitely close enough to awake that weird sensation in my stomach when I wanted to escape and wait for the continuation at the same time. As if on purpose, at that moment, I loved that tight-fitting khaki T-Shirt on him a little too much but had no intention to draw my glance away. 'It amuses me that you're so uncomfortable talking with me about it. Why, wasn't the date good enough?' his blue eyes were staring at me deeply, not giving any chance to think about anything else, and I thought that his smirk was going to be the death of me one day. I felt my heart fastening its speed uncontrollably.</p><p>'No, it was perfect actually' I said, looking at him up from under my eyelashes. It was just half a lie but for Marshall, it was enough to chortle smugly and bend over to me slowly as if it was a natural thing to do.</p><p>'You kept that lipstick' he pronounced quietly, dangerously close to my face, ignoring the previous words of mine, and I saw the blue orbs of his travelling to my lips. A pleasant shiver ran down my spine, covering my skin with goosebumps. What the hell was happening?</p><p>'So what?' I managed to answer almost in a whisper, not taking my eyes off of his. They were unbelievably clear just like any time I'd had a chance to observe them but a daring flash ran through there for a moment, and I saw his right hand stopping inches away from my hip to steady himself above me. His breath suddenly became closer too, and thought of closing the distance between us made itself prominent in my mind like a firework explosion. Marshall parted his lips to answer me with a cunning but beloved smirk of his, as if ready to cross the line. </p><p>But before he could do that, we heard a polite but insisting knock on the door.</p><p>I turned my head to the door immediately in an instinct. I was suddenly back to the Earth again, realizing what I was doing. Marshall glanced at the door too, taking his eyes off of me and stepping away a bit. No worry or fear but a slight frown appeared on his features that gave me a hope that he didn't want to be interrupted. Only if there actually was something to interrupt. Maybe, he was just playing with me?</p><p>'Come in' Marshall spoke in his usual tone, watching me from the side, and judging by the grin that was returning back to his lips, I looked more than uncomfortable about the situation. Oh, damn, why did he enjoy my reaction on the possibility of getting caught in such a strange position? I couldn't understand.</p><p>'Yo, Marshall, am I interrupting you?' the door opened and in a moment it revealed the legend himself, Dr. Dre, with a slightly preoccupied expression as he spotted me sitting on the armpit of the sofa and Marshall just standing a foot away from me doing nothing. Right, we weren't really good at covering all that up, were we?</p><p>'No, Dre, come in' Marshall shrugged unbothered, putting both of his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. I hated how calm he looked after that strange moment we shared.</p><p>'Who's that lady with you? Will you introduce us?' Dre focused his glance on me with a small welcoming smile. And I wish I could be more relaxed that minute but I was still a bit stunned.</p><p>'It's a big honour to meet you, I'm Ella' I stood up quickly, giving him a hand for a shake before Marshall could say anything because I didn't like that cunning grin on his face. I was positive it meant that he wanted to answer something embarrassing. No, thanks. 'I work for "Wave" magazine as a journalist'.</p><p>'The pleasure is all mine. Andre' Dre shook my hand lightly, gifting me now with a proper friendly smile. Wow, that wasn't that bad, was it? 'Oh, yeah, I've heard about the series of articles. I actually had a chance to meet your boss Jeff Wade a few times'.</p><p>'Really? That's good to know' I answered, loosening up a little, though feeling Marshall's eyes on me.</p><p>'He did an impressive job with "Wave" here, so I've already told Paul that he would pick the best journalist of his to work with Marshall. I'm glad that his choice is a good-looking one too' Dre complimented somehow seriously, but not losing a smile, which I didn't expect from him at all. I guess, he was just polite but at the same time, that felt genuine.</p><p>'Thank you' my cheeks nearly reddened but I managed to avoid that effect somehow. Fortunately, with Dre it was easier to control myself than it was with Marshall.</p><p>'Speaking of Paul, though' Dre spoke again as if remembering something. 'I was actually looking for him. I thought he might be here'.</p><p>'Nah, you know that Paul is a control freak when it comes to performances' Marshall said for the first time since Dre had entered the room, and it felt like I hadn't heard his voice for ages. Recalling in my mind how it sounded just a few minutes ago inches away from my face mixed with his hot breathing, I had to look away not to feel embarrassed. The thought of what could've happened if Dre hadn't knocked was torturing me. Oh, Ella, aren't you going out with Josh? 'He's probably somewhere out there, making orders' he added, chortling lightly.</p><p>'Okay, then I'll go back looking for him' Dre turned around, ready to leave. As he touched the doorknob, his glance travelled between me and Marshall for a short moment and something uncertain sparked there. I suspected that from the height of life experience, he could see a little more than we were showing him. 'But, Ella, I have a small proposition for you' Dre suddenly spoke again, opening the door. 'I have a dinner planned today right after the performance in the restaurant of my close friend here in Detroit. Everybody's going to be there, it's not part of the work, but you are more than welcome to join. What you'll say?'</p><p>'Um...' I uttered, not knowing what to answer. Wow, I was invited to Dre's dinner? That was fast progress, I had to admit. 'Sure, why not?'</p><p>'Good, then I'll see you there' Dre nodded with a small friendly smile, giving Marshall some weird look and exiting the room. But before I could exhale with relief that everything went fine, I realized that I was left alone with Marshall again. With Marshall and his smug grin, to be precise.</p><p>'Look at you, it has to be your year or something' he spoke again returning his previous playful attitude which I was more than glad about. 'First, you have a chance to see my beautiful face every day for a month and now you're invited to Dre's dinner' Marshall stated cockily, and I had to slap myself mentally for enjoying it.</p><p>'Oh yeah, and now I'll be able to watch you perform live in addition. I feel like I'm in heaven' I rolled my eyes, though letting him catch a mocking in my answer. His eyes were watching me with amusement.</p><p>I had to admit, something about those banters between us was making me urge to be around Marshall more often. Just to feel his interest for a little longer. I hoped that it was just a temporary urge, though. Otherwise, I had to deal with it as soon as possible.</p><p>'Okay, it starts soon, I should go find my seat' I got up from my spot ready to leave. 'Are you nervous before the show?' I decided to ask carefully, knowing that being serious wasn't something we were used to.</p><p>'More excited than nervous' Marshall said simply, to my surprise. I expected some sarcastic response but his face was relaxed and eyes calm. 'It feels good to be back after such a big break. I'm getting used to it again step by step'.</p><p>'Well, I'm sure, you'll do great today' I pronounced without thinking much. Just what really was on my mind. Starting to get more into Marshall's music, I discovered how passionate he was about it. That's why there could be no other way that evening.</p><p>'You sure?' he smirked at me, raising a brow, teasing me with a simple question, and I swear, I wanted that moment to last as long as it was possible.</p><p>'Yes, I am' I told him confidently, failing to suppress a small smile at the way he was. Oh damn, I was supposed to change the wrong direction but it appeared to be that I was moving fast ahead.</p><p>'Then I'll try to do my best' Marshall cocked his head to the side, licking his lips in a small smirk and looking straight into my eyes. Something serious, though, was in his blue irises as if under this light exchange of words we shared a different moment. Small but still significant in some way.</p><p>'Good luck, anyway' I said casually before I could sink in the trance that his glance was putting me into, and went to the door. 'I'll see you' I added, not even knowing why. I guess I was just really hoping to see him later.</p><p>Marshall nodded thankfully, not giving a word, managing to respond to both of my phrases with it, and even gave me an almost warm look. Almost.</p><p>I went out of the dressing room, exhaling some tension I didn't know I held in my chest. It was the closest to a good conversation we'd had so far so I found that thought pleasant in my head. Surprisingly, I and Marshall could play with each other childishly and later talk normally which felt better than I wanted to admit it. But letting myself think about it was highly risky so I had no choice but made an attempt to get my mind off it and went to find my seat.</p><p>It was needless to say that the show was incredible. Paul got me a place in the VIP section so nothing was distracting me from catching every move and every lyric of Marshall's, or it was better to<br/>say Eminem's. He was all in his "natural habitat" which made him perform, putting everything he had in the songs he was rapping, and the response of the audience was huge, to say the least. I saw lots of people singing the words of the songs along with Marshall, and it was what made me realize what an impact he had with his art. Seeing Denaun as a hype man was a hella fun thing, though.</p><p>I wouldn't have taken my eyes off Marshall on the stage that evening even for a million, and I made a mental note to listen to his next albums as soon as possible. That evening I had a chance to see the side of him that the whole world was so used to, watch him performing along with Dre. And even though Slim Shady could twist the real image masterfully, Marshall Mathers was still there, right on the stage too, and when he performed "Beautiful", ironically, I thought that it was actually beautiful what Eminem managed to do with his music.</p><p>When the concert was over, I realized that it felt like I came back from another planet. My spaceship of thoughts landed on the Earth again safely, though, giving me a warm, somehow happy feeling. Paul found me in that state, giving me an address of the restaurant where Dre's dinner took place so I decided to go home quickly to change and then meet everyone there.</p><p>I didn't really know what to wear since the word "dinner" sounded formal but at the same time I knew that everybody would be chill after the performance and it was very unlikely for them to dress up.</p><p>So, I decided to play safe and leaving my light blue jeans, threw on some not high black heels and changed my regular T-Shirt for one made of the silky wavy material. It added a bit of tenderness to my look which I didn't know I wanted. It had some buttons on it, making it similar to a blouse but remaining casual thanks to the open neckline and short sleeves. Soon I was ready and a little bit nervous.</p><p>The restaurant happened to be quite fancy but far from pretentious place on the rooftop of one of the middle-hight Detroit buildings close to the centre. With the late evening coming, it had a cosy atmosphere which reminded that even though the weather wasn't that great, the summer was close, and we just had to wait for it.</p><p>I entered the restaurant, proving my identity for the literally tenth time that day, and found a quite crowded gathering of people in the middle of the lightened by lots of small dark yellow lights rooftop. Some of the guests were standing and talking, holding glasses in their hands and others were sitting at the tables and eating. Some rap and R&amp;B music was playing on the background but I couldn't identify what it was. At first glance, it all felt rather classy but casual at the same time.</p><p>I guess, I arrived a little late because everybody had their spot. Dre was sitting at the big main table with Marshall right next to him and Paul, Royce and Denaun a little bit further with some people I didn't know. I spotted three free seats there in different parts of the table and considered my options.</p><p>The first one was at the end of the table near some guy I'd never seen. The second was between Paul and Denaun. And the third one was right next to Marshall. I swallowed hesitantly, knowing exactly where I wanted to sit, realizing, to my defence, that it was a foolishly wrong thing. But, gathering all my courage and banishing the nervousness, I made my way to the table.</p><p>It happened to be not as I'd expected. It was halfway through when all of a sudden my glance found Marshall's. He was speaking to Dre about something and accidentally, the blue eyes of his landed on me, examining my posture and stopping on my face, spotting me from the distance. I would've had never guessed his thoughts that moment but his expression was serious, glance intense, and somehow something inside me was responding to it, drawing me to him like a magnet, changing my pace. From all of the people on that rooftop we were locking glances for a short but at the same time, eternal moment, and that felt electric somehow. His blue eyes were watching me attentively, and I did my best not to glance away cowardly.</p><p>But as it always happens, it all ended as unexpectedly as it started. Just when I was almost at the table, Dre asked Marshall something and he returned his full attention to him. I heard Royce and Denaun calling my name:</p><p>'Hey, Ella, we have a seat here for you! Come here!'</p><p>So, I had no choice but to sigh heavily and take a seat that unfortunately, I wasn't excited to take. But in that situation, it would have looked weird if I'd said I wanted another one, near Marshall. Besides, ten minutes later it was taken by another guest.</p><p>The whole dinner was going great as I managed to enjoy the meal and joke around with Royce and Denaun, even talk to Paul for a bit. There were a few pauses for toasts from Dre or other guests, grateful words for everybody coming over. I was enjoying the music and some new people I was introduced to. However, from time to time my eyes were searching for Marshall, even hoping to catch his glance as I couldn't get my mind off that little moment between us. But much to my disappointment, he was all wrapped up in the conversation either with Dre or other guests.</p><p>When it was time for dessert, I received a message from Josh and decided that it would have been a bad thing to ignore it. I got up from my seat to look for a quiet corner and found it near the edge of the rooftop where it had a railing to keep you safe. I opened his texts and typed the response, smiling a little at the small joke he made in one of the messages. Aside from that weird thing with Marshall, I thought that Josh was a good and interesting guy. But...</p><p>After a while, I saw a figure not far away from me talking on the phone and recognized Dre in it. He smiled, catching my glance, and I nodded back. Unexpectedly, when he finished the call, I saw him making his way to me.</p><p>'Thank you for coming, Ella. Did I remember the name correct?' Dre started the conversation with a small smirk, leaning against the railway the same way as me. I didn't expect him to talk to me again but Dr. Dre came across as a pleasant man and somehow it was nice to share his company.</p><p>'Yeah, no mistake. Thank you for inviting me. I'm having a good evening' I answered, smiling a little, relaxing under the easy feeling that Dre was radiating.</p><p>'I'm glad you do' he nodded with a serious hint in his tone, glance focusing in front of him. I could tell that there was something particular on his mind that minute. 'How do you enjoy working on this project?' Dre asked, not looking at me, proving my thoughts.</p><p>'Well, I have to say it's not easy since I have to study a lot about hip hop to understand Eminem's music. But it's interesting. Besides, Royce and Denaun are really fun to hang out with, I like the atmosphere around' I told him truthfully, feeling that with Dre I wanted to be open. Yes, Marshall's name was avoided on purpose.</p><p>'And what about Marshall?' fuck, as if he could read my mind...</p><p>'It's... It's okay, I guess' I mumbled somehow embarrassed by the question. 'We had some rough start but I think it's getting better' was it going better for real? I felt nervous again, remembering the exchange of our glances.</p><p>'I'm sure, it will get better' Dre turned his eyes to me, focusing on my face as if preparing to say something important. 'I've known Marshall for years so my advice would be to get to know all of his sides before judging, making conclusions for yourself or even writing about it. The media is always eager to show somebody in a bad light. It's easier, it's more interesting for people. That's what I've learned living the way we live' something in his glance was sharp and firm but far from angry or evil.</p><p>'I had no intention to do that' I said as genuinely as I could. Nothing even similar to it had ever crossed my mind before.</p><p>'I know but I saw your glance in the dressing room, it wasn't easy around Marshall' he continued. 'It made me think that something was wrong between you two. But I didn't feel like you could lie or do something bad. And I'm not saying I trust you because you know that I can't. I have an experience of knowing people, though' Dre smiled a little to relieve the small tension. 'So, that's why I'm asking you to consider my advice, okay? Apart from learning what a real person he is, it may happen to be that Marshall likes you way more than you think he does'.</p><p>'I doubt that' I chuckled, hiding my eyes suddenly shy of that insane thought. 'But I won't judge before seeing all, I promise' I added confidently, reassuring Dre.</p><p>The advice was something I'd already thought about before but somehow, coming from Dre, it made me look at it once more. With every day I was starting to notice some new things about Marshall which helped me to make a new image of him, different from the first day I'd met him. So, what if Dre was right and there was even more to that?</p><p>'Thank you for listening to me' he spoke again, his expression now warming. 'I do spot that everybody's starting to leave, though. It's getting hella late now' he looked at the area with tables and then at his watch, letting me catch that it was around 1 am. Damn, I should have slept already, tomorrow was a working day.</p><p>'Then I think that it would be better for me to get going too' I voiced my thoughts carefully, not to offend him.</p><p>'I knew it was coming' he chuckled lightly. 'I would stay a little bit longer but you should go if you want. Maybe, I'd ask Marshall to drive you home?' he offered simply but slyly. Oh, that made me smile a little, what an intelligent man he was.</p><p>'No, I don't want to bother him. Besides, I should think about your advice alone now' I raised my eyebrow at him, reminding it and showing that the small trick was cracked by me.</p><p>'As you wish' he nodded, smiling, understanding it. I could have never imagined that evening to be like this.</p><p>We said our goodbyes, and I headed to the table to get my stuff. After the conversation with Dre, I genuinely felt an urge to catch a taxi and think about all of the events of the day while looking from the window at the night city. Sometimes nothing can be better than that small rides, help you clear your mind in the way nothing else does.</p><p>It also wasn't very difficult to persuade Royce, Denaun and Paul that I didn't need a ride. The first two dorks were all wrapped up in eating dessert and having a foolish debate on some hilarious topic which I promised to ask them later about and have my portion of fun. Paul, on the other hand, found some "old and important acquaintance" and was fully focused on the conversation.</p><p>I didn't spot Marshall anywhere, though. I kinda had an urge to say goodbye before going even though it wasn't something important between us. It's just beside that glance exchange, I didn't have a chance to talk to him after the performance and to be honest, it was bothering me. I had to honest, I wanted at least some of his time no matter how hard I was trying to hide it.</p><p>But I didn't dare to ask anyone. Especially, Dre. So, I grabbed my purse and went downstairs to catch a taxi. I felt a slight feeling of pleasant tiredness coming over me and the thought of my comfy bed sheets lingered in my mind. Though, when I barely stepped outside the building, I suddenly bumped into someone's hard chest on the paved road to the restaurant's entrance. Stepping away a little and raising my head, I thought how pleasant sometimes the coincidences could be.</p><p>'Woah, what's the hurry all about?' a low velvet tone with a mocking note spoke to me in addition to a small smirk and amused expression on Marshall's face. Under the yellow dim lights of the night street, his blue eyes were studying me carefully, probably equally surprised of bumping into me.</p><p>'I'm sorry' I answered softly, trying not to look uneasy because of him. 'I was just thinking about something and didn't expect to see anyone'.</p><p>'Yeah, I was just making a call to my daughters. It's another time zone in Europe so I had to catch up with them' he explained simply, unusually normal for two of us. 'You're already leaving?'</p><p>'Yes, I figured it's late already and tomorrow I have a working day with a certain superstar' I teased him lightly, catching something new in his blue eyes that was followed by a chortle.</p><p>'Fair enough. Do you want to wait here a little and I would go grab the keys and take you home?' Marshall asked somewhat in a nice manner, deceiving me with it. A night cool wind brought a ticklish sensation, touching the silky fabric on my shoulders, and I didn't believe his casual offer.</p><p>'No, thank you, it's fine. I'll catch a taxi' I refused, smiling reassuringly, just like I did with Dre. I knew that Marshall probably wanted to spend some more time with his mentor as I heard from Paul that Dre was going back to LA the next day. 'I'm glad I caught you here, though'.</p><p>'I like your honesty. You should tell how happy you are to see me more' he grinned smugly, catching my glance. Oh Lord, I blushed shamelessly.</p><p>'I'm not here for fulfilling your dreams' I said wryly, smirking back. 'I just wanted to say that my prediction was right, and you did really well tonight. I enjoyed the show'.</p><p>'Thanks, it's just an explicable thing. Whatever I do is awesome. You know, can do nothing about it' he answered cockily, grimacing. I couldn't hold back a chuckle. He could be so fun and carefree sometimes that it was intoxicating.</p><p>'Oh, yeah, sorry, I forgot. I shouldn't have bothered to comment on it' I rolled my eyes at his joke, enjoying every word we were sharing. 'I think I should go and you should get back to Dre. He's probably looking for you'.</p><p>'Right' Marshall mumbled, focusing on my face but not making a move. I was mesmerized by the lines of his features and a little cold, eager for his close proximity. 'See you tomorrow then' he added still looking at me attentively with blue eyes glistening.</p><p>'See you' I almost mouthed the last words, turning to leave.</p><p>'Wait'.</p><p>A charge of electricity spread through my body when I felt him grabbing my arm lightly to stop me from going. His cold fingers lingered on my skin for less than a moment which was enough, though, to give me a glimpse of what heaven felt like. I turned around to face Marshall again in head-spinning anticipation.</p><p>'As for real, thank you. I appreciated what you said about the show' his voice was smooth and almost soothing even though his expression was serious. Glance calm and a little amused. I felt my stomach lightening as I was ready to fly away like an air balloon. Oh, damn, why was I so foolishly affected by it?</p><p>'Sure, no problem' I nodded, smiling at him just long enough not to make it weird. Marshall fucking Mathers and I were starting to act differently towards each other, and I wondered where all of it was leading us. I just hoped somewhere better than before.</p><p>So, when I turned back to leave in the second and the last time, I made my way to the road to catch a taxi just like I'd planned to. In a moment, Marshall disappeared in the building of the restaurant too. However, even a pleasant feeling of tiredness couldn't help me to fall asleep that night, letting all the images of the passing day and Marshall Mathers capture my disobedient thoughts.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey, so here is the new chapter for you all🙃 I would like to post more often but those 6 thousand words need some hella time to write and proofread lol. Hope, you liked it as much as I enjoyed writing it.</p><p>Please, as always, leave like or comment to express your opinion on my fic and encourage me to post frequently, continue the story. Thank you so much for your support that helped this fic reach 100 likes. I appreciate it a lot. Much love for you all❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Birthday party and a little action</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I've figured that waking up for work, even in the early morning, is much more pleasant if the day before you had a nice conversation with Marshall Mathers. I had to explain it as nothing but an enigma and convince myself that it wasn't connected to the way I was feeling around Eminem and the effect his witty persona had on me. However, something in those awful excuses was wrong and with every day I was feeling it stronger and stronger.</p><p>The next morning Marshall picked me up just like any other day before that. I was hoping to play in our favourite game of words with him to make sure that the last night connection between us could become a normal thing and not disappear with the magic of the evening like some Cinderella charms.</p><p>But the destiny or whatever ruthless thing that was ruling our lives that morning had other plans. As I got in Marshall's car, I spotted Paul and one of the people from Marshall's management crew sitting on the backseat of the car and discussing something enthusiastically. I was introduced to the man briefly and the whole ride kept silent as three of them were talking about Eminem's promotion plans for the next week.</p><p>Marshall, on the other hand, greeted me with a small smirk but soon was distracted. Surprising myself, I felt my mood going down, realizing that I wouldn't be able to have some time alone with him, and turned to look from the window, displeased with my own thoughts. Well, there was nothing else to do.</p><p>The day appeared to be a busy one. Paul managed to make like five or six interviews for Marshall for different types of media in one Detroit building and keep him focused for each one of them which, as he later told me, was a hard thing to accomplish. Paul also persuaded me after the first 3 interviews to come back to the studio and work a little there. He was convinced that after I'd had a taste of what Marshall's communication with a press felt like, I needed some time to take notes and write more about the day before.</p><p>I knew he was right. It was all my work and with things happening almost every day I had to make sure to have everything in front of me just in case I would need that for the articles. I couldn't help but felt upset about that, though, because after such a nice moment with Marshall, unfortunately, I had no chance to talk to him and banish all my hesitations. Deep inside I was afraid that we could go back to be all distant and uneasy with each other.</p><p>But when I came back to the studio, the news brought by no one else but Denaun and Royce were already waiting for me. Both of them were very excited to announce that that evening they had a birthday party of their producer friend to attend. The main points stated for me were: I was "definitely fucking going", the party was at the strip club, both of them would "not act like jerks" because "man, we learned the lesson" and "that jerk Marshall is invited too". Guess, all of a sudden, I had plans for the night.</p><p>So, all of those things mentioned above lead me to the point where I was sitting in the booth of one of Detroit's strip clubs and tugging my simple but tight velvet black dress with straps down nervously, anxious about the way it looked. My outfit along with black stockings the ends of which were disappearing under the edge of the dress and black heels wasn't that revealing or fancy. I couldn't help but felt a little uncomfortable, though. Maybe, because I was waiting for the approval of a certain person. But, unfortunately, that certain person still couldn't be found.</p><p>The atmosphere around was completely the opposite. The girls on the poles were going up and down graciously, shameless in their movements, aware of the sexiness they radiated as the Rihanna record was playing on the background. The smoke of weed was fogging the picture, making their movements slower and more tempting, promising the viewer a little more for his money that could wait for him in a private room.</p><p>Changing the pace and feeling the beat, the strippers were making their own movie with the dance they were performing, often created with the improvisation of the moment. And even though all of it was just a well-made act, there were a few moments when you could believe that with all that nudity there should have been no lie. However, those moments would usually disappear just as soon as the song had come to its logical ending.</p><p>'Damn, I need a good chick coming home with me this night. I feel so lonely today' I heard Denaun speaking, returning my attention to him and Royce as three of us were sitting in the booth together and let out a chortle at his dreaming face.</p><p>Sticking to their promise, the dorks were hanging out with me all night and we were having a great time, chatting with some of their acquaintances and having a few drinks. The birthday boy Chad appeared to be a funny guy that I was introduced to that, however, disappeared from the view for the whole night. Denaun and Royce explained that he was probably getting drunk as hell and having a threesome with some models in one of the private rooms but I wasn't eager to dig into the details.</p><p>There was another thing that interested me a lot more that evening. Marshall arrived at the party along with us but I lost the sight of him in that big strip club right after the introductions. He did have a lot of people he knew at the party so my attempts to look for him in the crowd were ended in vain. And I wondered if that could change till the end of the night or what was more believable, it could prove my worries.</p><p>'I've listened to LL Cool J's record "I Need Love" five times today and I think it might mean something' Denaun was speaking with a serious expression, putting his head on his hand in an innocent manner, continuing his speech.</p><p>'It might mean that you didn't get laid last week' Royce answered, grinning. 'Get a chick and stop whining. I'm sure that somewhere here you'll find a desperate one who's gonna help you with your sudden desire for love out of pity'.</p><p>'Fuck you, Royce' Denaun snorted irritatingly, making a resentful childish grimace. 'You don't understand. Maybe, it's time for me to settle down. You know, find some chick who's gonna love me. Someone good and beautiful like Ella, you know what I mean?'</p><p>'Woah, since when I'm a role model for your girlfriend?' I chuckled lightly, giving Denaun an astonishing glance. I knew for sure that he didn't like me like that but it was still kind of surprising that someone could look at me as an example for anything. Those two Eminem's friends somehow were managing to get my heart warm from time to time, and I couldn't ask for better company.</p><p>'But look at you, I'm serious' Denaun said, giving me a reassuring glance. 'We've been known you for like what? Probably nothing and still we like you a lot. No doubt that guy you were going on a date with is all over you with those messages' he nodded at my phone that a minute ago flashed with a notification about a message from Josh. I felt myself blushing at the compliment.</p><p>'Even though I don't believe in his want of love, Porter is right' Royce chuckled, letting me see his warm eyes.</p><p>'Damn, thank you. You should know that I like being around you, folks, too' I smiled at them softly, feeling a pleasant sensation in my chest at our friendly word exchange. 'Though, that guy, as you say, is not "all over me". We're just texting, he's not my boyfriend or anything' I didn't know why I wanted to clear that up about Josh but I did and saw two faces in front of me brightening up.</p><p>'See? I've told you, that guy ain't a threat' Denaun smirked knowingly to Royce, giving him a weird expression as if they were a part of some secret society. I wanted to ask about it but was interrupted immediately. 'Why don't you have a little fun then, Ella? We should find a male stripper to get you a private dance tonight. That would be cool. What you'll say?' he asked, looking at me with a giggling spark in his eyes. 'Royce, are there any male strippers in this club?'</p><p>'Damn, Porter, I knew you had problems with chicks but didn't expect you to switch sides that easily' all three of our heads turned into the direction where the owner of the words was speaking to us from, only to see Marshall Mathers' figure stopping near our booth and looking at us with a teasing expression. Royce chuckled in response as I suppressed a smile. I couldn't lie, I was waiting for Marshall to appear and was glad to finally see him but showing it was a hazardous move. 'But go ahead, buddy, we support you, I'm sure you'll get a lot more luck with men'.</p><p>'Oh, look who decided to join us' Denaun answered venomously, giving Marshall his signature "fuck you" face. 'Where were you all this time?'</p><p>'Unlike you, I'm not sitting and dreaming about stripping dudes, I have business to deal with' Marshall said sarcastically, not losing a smirk. 'Now move your ass and let me take a seat' he nodded at the free space next to me as Royce and Denaun were sitting on the different sides of the semi-circular booth, making me shift nervously. Oh, well, he wanted to sit right next to me?</p><p>'Very funny, Marshall' Denaun huffed wryly, letting Marshall sit, and in a second I could smell his fresh, already familiar scent next to me. Well, closer than I expected.</p><p>'We were talking about a private dance for Ella' Royce cleared the situation, chortling and saving Denaun from any further jokes from Marshall. He for sure always seemed like a more reasonable one from the whole group.</p><p>'You were? The conversation becomes more interesting with every minute' Marshall grinned, raising his eyebrows in a surprised expression and landing his mocking glance on me. At that moment, we were closer than normal, and I wasn't ashamed to admit the obvious: with Marshall, it was the closer the better.</p><p>'No, I wasn't' I argued with a small laugh, noticing Marshall's blue eyes studying my appearance.</p><p>'Yes, we were until you came to ruin the mood' Denaun stated, pretending to be annoyed, putting his hands on his chest. Oh boy, he radiated the dorkiness.</p><p>'Oh, come on, bro, you're not good today' Royce intervened, standing up from his spot and patting Denaun on a shoulder carefully. 'I'm sure, Ella doesn't need a private dance anyway. Let's go find you a nice girl for tonight. I'll help you'.</p><p>'Okay, maybe we could talk to those chicks at the bar' Denaun got up, acting reluctant but letting an excited smile appear on his lips as if that suggestion was all he was waiting for.</p><p>'I thought your main priority was love' Royce smirked teasingly. 'And those chicks are strippers'.</p><p>'Oh, shut up, man' Denaun smiled, making all of us chuckle. 'Don't miss us too much, you two. We'll be right back' he winked in a foolish manner of his, and in a moment both Royce and Denaun disappeared in the crowd.</p><p>Marshall and I were left alone.</p><p>'So, should we look for a stripper for you? The bill is on me' Marshall spoke in a satin low voice of his with a mocking, switching his attention to me and putting his right hand at the backseat of the booth lazily as if trapping me without any touch. The backseat was playing up to him, putting his arm just a little above my shoulders. Oh well.</p><p>'I guess, not today' I chuckled, smoothing the hem of my dress down my thighs to distract myself from the thought of how close we were sitting and how the lights were dimmed. The music playing on the background since the minute he appeared started to sound a little distant, and I hoped it was just a trick of my imagination. Why get so uneasy because of being alone with Marshall? That seemed foolish.</p><p>'You're a little dressed up tonight' he commented, changing the mood from teasing to serious, apparently catching the movement of my fingers on the hem, and his glance dropped to my knees where it ended. The shades from the dimmed lights were embracing his features. 'I like it' the phrase left Marshall's tongue in a delicious way, tasting the word "like" a little too long for a friendly conversation, and his blue eyes sparkled on the little amount of light around, founding mine. I felt ticklish goosebumps covering my bare shoulders as I felt his body heat closer to me. Oh God, there was no doubt that second, I liked all of it way more than anyone should have known.</p><p>'Thank you' I pronounced quietly, glancing at him from under my eyelashes, and receiving his smirk as an answer. Something attractive was in the way Marshall was looking at me as if he was enjoying our proximity as much as I did, and understanding that was a breathtaking thing.</p><p>We'd been staring at each other for a short moment until the notification popped up on my phone again, announcing the message from Josh and catching Marshall's attention. Fuck, Josh...</p><p>'Your date guy checking up on you?' he asked, voice filled with a sarcastic tone, glance focused on me.</p><p>'Well, kind of...' I said, hiding my eyes from his, not knowing really what to answer. On the one hand, I didn't want Marshall to think I have someone seriously but on the other hand, I couldn't help but like his sharp remarks here and there that was letting me think he cared. And judging by everything that I was feeling being close to Marshall, I needed him to care.</p><p>'You know, I don't feel good about that guy' Marshall stated out of nowhere, an enigmatic grin on his lips, and I had to lower my glance for a moment scared of the pleasant feeling it brought me. The blush was ready to make my cheeks red. No, he wasn't about to say anything like that, was he?</p><p>'Why is that so?' I raised my head at Marshall daringly, gathering my courage and lifting my chin a little bit to show that I wanted him to play openly. I didn't even realize how all my body turned into his direction, waiting for his touch. But could there be one?</p><p>'Well, it's because...' he stumbled all of a sudden, and I saw his glance following something behind my back. A scowl appeared on his face, sharpening the lines of his features that a moment ago were soft for me, and I turned my head, hearing him muttering:</p><p>'Fuck, what is she doing here?'</p><p>As I spotted what or it was better to say "who" Marshall was looking at, I immediately understood the reason for his reaction. Some distance away, making her way in our direction, the woman with a killer-like glance, Chelsea, that I'd had a chance to see in the club earlier, was walking hand in hand with some unfamiliar but quite attractive man. Her glance was already set on us as she was walking graciously, taking her time in the burgundy long dress with a big cut on the side, showing her long tanned legs in the silver high heels. The man looked rather pompous wearing a suit that, however, wasn't formal but looked expensive along with a big gold watch on his hand. There was something bored in his glance and expression, though, as if he wasn't eager to be where he was. Together they seemed like a perfect combination for a good picture but at the same time, nothing in their movements was telling me about any emotion between them, making it look like for each other, they were nothing more than strangers.</p><p>I looked up at Marshall again, realizing that those two figures were getting closer and closer to us, and found his eyebrows furrowed and glance thoughtful. Unexpectedly, turning his head to me with a serious expression, he asked, blue eyes awaiting:</p><p>'Ella, would you help me with something if I asked you?'</p><p>'Yeah, sure' I nodded, a little scared by his question. The appearance of Chelsea out of nowhere could cause a lot of trouble, and I was silently hoping for the better.</p><p>'Then don't worry about anything I might say or do next. Just play up to me and act naturally' he looked deeply into my eyes, searching there for an answer, but I wasn't about to worry or hesitate. No matter how strange his words sounded, I felt that somehow I actually trusted them. 'Okay?' he asked as if repeating his request, trying to make sure that I would rely on him. And I did, nodding slightly.</p><p>That was when Marshall did something I was least expecting him to. As he saw me nodding approvingly and threw a short glance at Chelsea and her companion already not far away from our booth, I felt his right hand that was previously laying on the backseat circling my waist in a possessive manner, brining me unbelievably close to his body. I ended up leaning on his chest a little in a position that would have allowed me to hide my face in the crook of his neck from any trouble in the world if I'd wanted to. I gasped quietly, surprised by his actions and nervous where to put my hands but Marshall solved all my struggles immediately by taking both of them in his other hand and putting it on his lap. A warm pleasant sensation filled me from the touch of our hands, the protectiveness of the gesture making me feel secure and precious. I didn't dare to meet his glance perfectly aware of the blush on my cheeks but tried to relax a little. So, when Chelsea and the rich man beside her reached our booth, I and Marshall were serving them an unexpected image of a lovely couple, ready to face whatever was going to happen next.</p><p>Oh boy, if only Denaun and Royce could see us at that moment. They would have had legit heart attacks. My heart wasn't doing any better that minute, though, taking a speed close to a running cheetah.</p><p>'Marshall, what a pleasant surprise! We were already leaving when I spotted you. Couldn't hold myself back from saying hello' Chelsea's melodic but somehow unpleasant tone greeted us as she stopped near the booth, smiling arrogantly with her dark, plum-coloured lips, eyes scanning every detail on me and Marshall. The man with her was just standing there with no emotions, glance lost somewhere else.</p><p>'Shouldn't have bothered yourself' Marshall answered back coldly, and I felt his body stiffening under me just like it was in the club. This time, though, we were in a different situation, and I could let myself squeeze his hand gently, hoping to provide some comfort. Without hesitation, he squeezed back as if appreciating the gesture.</p><p>'I wanted you to meet my husband' she said, smiling cunningly, unbothered by the response. 'Rudy, meet Marshall, an old friend of mine' she gestured at Marshall, making an accent on the word "friend". Damn, why was she doing all of that?</p><p>'Oh, Eminem, right? My pleasure, heard some of your work' the man or "Rudy", as Chelsea called him, spoke in a neutral tone, clearly saying all of that in order to show his bland politeness. It was very obvious that he was uninterested, distracted and eager to leave as soon as possible.</p><p>'The pleasure is all mine' a merciless sarcasm coloured Marshall's tone, showing even less excitement than the man in front of us.</p><p>Unsurprisingly, not even muscle moved on Rudy's face. He completely dismissed it. Probably, marking Marshall's rudeness as something that didn't deserve his attention.</p><p>'Chelsea, I'll be waiting for you in the car. I'm tired already' Rudy said impatiently, talking to Chelsea but looking somewhere past her as if in addition to everything around she wasn't interesting for him either.</p><p>'But, honey, Marshall still hasn't introduced us to the girl beside him. Wouldn't it be rude to leave like that?' Chelsea turned to look at her husband with an innocent fake expression, eyeing me with a side look. Marshall's fingers on my waist soothed me in a soft circling motion, not forgetting to send a ticklish shiver down my spine, reminding about the closeness we shared. As if it was possible to forget...</p><p>'I'm Ella, nice to meet you' I pronounced dryly, cutting the bullshit that was probably planned by Chelsea's next action and making things easier for Marshall. I wanted to help a little as I was on his side that minute. That was another reason why I was talking mainly to the man, avoiding Chelsea.</p><p>'Nice to meet you too' Rudy's glance landed on me, and for a minute a spark of amusement appeared in his eyes as if a moment ago I was just a detail of the interior and now it happened to be that I was a real person. But soon it faded and he became as still as he'd been before with a little bit of irritation added. This scene in front of him seemed to ruin his inexistent good mood. 'Well, I need to go now. Chelsea, be in a hurry' he added in a firm tone and excused himself, leaving Chelsea with a dissatisfied expression. I could see that she was planning to boast about her husband but evidently, she didn't consider the fact that he was a faceless moron by nature.</p><p>'I'd rather you left too' Marshall spoke again, raising his chin a little, a despised look on his face. Chelsea winced lightly.</p><p>'Why so cold, dear? I remember you speaking to me way differently' she didn't give up that easily, picking her sweet voice full of irony. The familiar glance of her dangerous eyes that evening looked sharper under the heavy coverage of dark eyeshadows. 'Or what, you are shy to do that in front of your new hoe?' Chelsea pronounced deliciously, raising an eyebrow expectedly, already convinced in her great victory. And I had to admit, that created a lump inside my throat.</p><p>To my surprise, Marshall felt completely opposite. His breath was calm and confident and raising my glance for a minute, I saw a smirk forming in the corners of his lips. His left hand played with my fingers mindlessly.</p><p>'Watch your mouth, Chelsea, I'm not your husband. She is not a hoe' he stated sharply, looking straight at her face, emphasizing every word.</p><p>'She is my girl'.</p><p>I couldn't see his face that minute but the way he pronounced that made me hold back a small smile. It was just a play, we were just acting like lovers but something in being "his" even in a false sentence, sitting in his arms so close and feeling his hot breath somewhere on my shoulder felt like a dream.</p><p>For God's sake, I liked him. I liked him. I knew it for sure that minute. I'd been trying to pretend for so long that I didn't that I was tired of it. I didn't know how to feel about it, I didn't know how to process that properly but I liked him. And that was all I could think about.</p><p>'Oh please,' Chelsea snorted sarcastically, an effect of Marshall's words barely visible in her posture. Even if she was bothered, that woman was very good at controlling herself. '"My girl"' she grimaced, acting disgusted. 'You were always soft and clingy, Marshall. That's your problem. It's not what a real man should be' an evil mocking left her lips as she put one of her hands on her right hip in a graceful gesture, exposing one of her legs from the cut in the dress more for a better view. Oh Lord, that was too much already.</p><p>I felt Marshall getting tense by the second more and more with her words. She grazed him, and that was when I couldn't stop mine.</p><p>'It's sad that you don't realize that what you call "soft" means "caring"' I said calmly, trying not to sound too passionate about it. Her glance met mine in a surprised rage. 'Luckily, in your eyes, your husband is a real man. Because it seems like he never heard about that word too'.</p><p>Chelsea was pissed off but arrogant. She would never show that she was bothered by my words. But she was and all three of us knew it. In that whole club she was alone with her feelings but I, even for some short period, had Marshall by my side. That was the main difference between us no matter how gorgeous she looked in that burgundy dress in comparison to my simple look. Sounded unbelievable but it was true.</p><p>'You know nothing about me and my husband' was all she managed to say in response, pressing together her thin dark lips firmly. She had nothing else to say. So, giving both of us a threatening look, she turned around graciously and made her way to the entrance, spitting flames at everybody on her way.</p><p>I'd followed her posture with my gaze until it disappeared somewhere in a crowd of people. For some reason, I even felt bad for Chelsea for a single second. Her husband was a real jerk, and she was clearly doing all of that out of pride. And maybe, she still wasn't over Marshall. Realizing the great mistakes like that must have been terrible torture.</p><p>But all of the thoughts about Chelsea were long gone soon. She left Marshall and me alone again but he wasn't in a hurry to make any move. Marshall didn't push me straight away to return everything to "normal", and I wondered what it could mean. So, when I raised my glance silently at him, nervous about what to do next, I found his blue eyes already set on me joined with a proud smirk on his lips. Something unreadable but intriguing hid in the corners of his pupils.</p><p>'Damn, I'ma be honest with you. I'm impressed' he told me in a low slow tone, chuckling lightly. 'You did hella of a job, playing my girl' oh Lord, I couldn't handle those last two short words.</p><p>'Well, I'll send you a check for this performance' I teased, though couldn't stop the redness on my cheeks. His embrace on me was still tight but gentle, warm and protective, making me want to stay in it as long as possible.</p><p>'Okay, just make sure I can afford it' Marshall grinned in response, and I suddenly became aware of his hot breath again, holding myself back from dropping my gaze to his lips. 'But no, seriously, I really owe you now. I expected Chelsea to fuck up my mood for the rest of the evening and here you are' he added with a serious expression, voice low, for a moment his blue eyes travelling to where our hands on his lap were connected. I swallowed.</p><p>'I'm glad I could help' I said truthfully in a quiet voice, not getting my eyes off of his. Something intimate was in that act of sharing glances. Maybe, even more intimate than being in his arms. But I knew that soon it would become too awkward to remain in the same position and everything would end like it never happened, become just a memory for me to recall on a sleepless night...</p><p>'Do you have a ride home?' Marshall asked, keeping his glance on me. He already knew the answer. We both did. And I couldn't even explain why it was so pleasant to realize that he still asked that. What if he cared? With all that Josh thing that he didn't have a chance to say, I might have said for sure. But for now, it felt more like a magnetizing, deceptive game I didn't know I agreed to play.</p><p>'No, I don't' I answered, letting myself a smirk.</p><p>'That's false' he stated with a blank expression, a slight frown appearing on his face. Wait, what?</p><p>'For real, I don't have one' I persuaded him with a reassuring voice. I arrived at the club with Denaun and Royce who picked me up from home and planned to go home by taxi.</p><p>'So you're saying I'm not driving you home? I thought I was your ride' a small smug grin appeared on his lips, satisfied with the effect his little trick had on me. Oh damn, he couldn't do me like that, could he?</p><p>'And for a second I thought that after my successful performance you would get serious with me' I rolled my eyes at him, though, letting out a chortle in response.</p><p>'Why would I? You should have seen your face' Marshall smirked playfully, making me feel goosebumps once more that evening. I think that he wasn't aware of the fact that his hot breath imprinted on the skin of my neck. Fuck, fuck, fuck... 'Let's go say bye to those two at the bar and I'll drive you home' he nodded somewhere in the crowd where the bar supposed to be. Oh yeah, come back to reality...</p><p>'Sure' I answered awkwardly, moving out of his grip slowly as he was standing up, clearing his throat. I've noticed Marshall's glance following my actions attentively, even when we finally lost skin contact. I had to say, it was embarrassing to look at him after being so close.</p><p>I stood up, following Marshall through the crowd and still trying to process what the fuck actually happened. All of it seemed unreal, mind-blowing as if I'd experienced something like seeing tiger flying or orca walking the ground. But I had no time to think more as we spotted Royce and Denaun sitting at the bar, talking to the girls and laughing at something. I and Marshall shared a small knowing glance. Yep, they were already very close to being drunk.</p><p>'Yo, Marshall, Ella, we were about to look for you' Denaun mumbled with a soft tipsy smile, hollering at us just a little too loud. Royce waved at us too, though, in a moment returning to flirting with the stripper beside him.</p><p>'You know, this girl here... What's your name, baby? I forgot...' Denaun spoke as we reached him, putting an arm over one of the girls with a blonde hair, furrowing his eyebrows and waiting for an answer. 'Oh yeah, right, Ciara' he smiled again, hearing her giggling response. She was a stripper, and maybe, that was the reason she wasn't pushing him off but it seemed like the girl didn't mind it anyway. 'So, as I was saying, this girl here says she loves me' Denaun raised his chin almost proudly and giving the girl a sloppy kiss on the cheek. 'Isn't it cool? You know what I'm saying? I had a feeling I would find love tonight and look at me' he waved his hands around, trying to balance at the bar stool. I giggled, hiding a smile with my hand.</p><p>'Be careful, buddy' Marshall caught his arm, chuckling.</p><p>'I know, you two don't believe me' he continued, taking a sip from his glass and grabbing the girl by her waist. She laughed and put her arms around his neck. 'But me and this girl here... What's your name again, boo?' he stumbled once again, puzzled and the girl reminded him, smiling. 'Whatever, I'm gonna say another thing' Denaunmumbled, completely forgetting his previous thought and deciding to give up it. 'You two would be very good together, you know? I'm telling you, I feel it, you feel me?' he mumbled, trying to stay serious as if lecturing me and Marshall. I had to pretend as if I didn't understand his words, begging for Denaun to shut up, as I was eyeing Royce waiting for him to do something but he was distracted and couldn't hear the conversation.</p><p>'You know why? You wanna know why? Sit down and I'll tell you why' Denaun continued in a parental tone. Oh, Lord...</p><p>'We're already leaving, buddy. Next time, okay?' Marshall came to save the situation, reassuring Denaun like a small child. Though, I couldn't miss a short side glance from him at me.</p><p>'You are already leaving? Together?' Denaun's eyes lit up brightly with a spark of excitement in them. 'Royce, have you heard it? They are fucking leaving together!'</p><p>'You should learn to shut your mouth sometimes, Porter' Royce answered briefly, bringing at us his attention for a second. 'Let them go already'.</p><p>'You are right, Royce. I'm blessing both of you' Denaun pointed his finger at two of us with the funniest serious expression I'd ever seen. I and Marshall couldn't hold back a laugh, though, avoiding each other's eyes. That would be a disaster to act otherwise. Denaun managed to put us in the awkward position as if the night hadn't done for us enough earlier.</p><p>'Aight, I'll call you, fools. Make sure to get home safe' Marshall said in a fake sever manner, making both of them wince and dismiss his words by coming back to picking up the girls. Children.</p><p>'Bye' I threw more for me than for them, smiling to myself and leaving the strip club next to Marshall.</p><p>We got Marshall's Cadillac and spent the ride with only a few general phrases about the party spoken, avoiding the topics about Chelsea and Denaun's drunk words. Something unfamiliar was hanging in the air between us when we found ourselves alone in the car. Marshall was focused on thinking about something, and I was just too nervous and not sure what to say. All I wanted was to replay back to the moment when we were sitting in the booth and I was in his arms, stop it there with some inexistent remote control and feel everything once again. But I knew that it was the last thing I should've thought about and that was the main problem.</p><p>'Well, thank you for the ride' I spoke quietly with a half-smile as the car stopped near my apartment building. Marshall's blue attentive eyes were captivating, looking at me, and I tried to think about anything else to say. But nothing felt appropriate. 'Good night' I added, drawing my gaze away from his and opening the door. I don't want to lie, I was waiting for him to stop me.</p><p>'Good night' he answered way too slow for his usual manner with an intense glance of blue eyes, and without further delay, I got out.</p><p>A wind of the night street met my posture, reminding me that it was a horrible habit of mine to forget about jackets in the rush. Especially, in Detroit. A bitter taste of something unspoken was a flavour on my tongue and I tried to get rid of it by shaking my head full of thoughts. Though, it didn't help much.</p><p>'I was about to leave but I got a question' suddenly, I heard the voice behind me again and turned around to face Marshall going out of the car and making his way to me with a look of uncertainty on his face. I felt myself getting tense and my stomach twirling a little. Thank God that it was very late and the street was empty.</p><p>'Yes?' I asked as he reached my figure, stopping in front of me. Never in a million years, I would have guessed what could lead Marshall to leave the car but I was silently glad he did.</p><p>'Did you mean what you said to Chelsea? Do you really see me like that?' the questions came out unexpectedly with the hesitant tone of his low voice and scowled expression. His eyes found mine in a glance that was searching for integrity, and I didn't understand why he wanted to know the answer. Maybe, that was what Marshall was thinking in the car? 'I mean, you could believe every word she said because you don't know me that well but still you chose to defend me' he added slowly when I didn't answer.</p><p>'I guess...' I started, dropping my gaze to my fingers to gather my thoughts because with Marshall close to me it was difficult to do so. The night wind was annoyingly reminding me about the absence of the jacket. 'I guess, I just felt that she wasn't right. You said the truth, I don't know you at all, to be fair. But from all I've seen and heard from the people who surround you, I got a feeling that you are not someone she portrays you. At least, you definitely don't deserve to be hurt like that, no one does' I stated, raising my glance at him with an unsteady breath. There was not that much light from the street lamps around us but I could spot the lines of Marshall's features softening, gifting me with sincere gratefulness in his glance.</p><p>'You know, I kinda understand now why Royce and Porter like you so much' he commented with a small smirk, holding my gaze. It sounded not that serious but I felt something warm and pleasant inside me, not even caring about the blush on my cheeks no more. 'I'm sorry for you getting involved but thank you, it was important for me' Marshall pronounced a little uncomfortably as if it wasn't something he was saying every day.</p><p>'I have a deja vu. You've been thanking me a lot lately' I smiled in the response, recalling how we were standing near the restaurant just an evening ago. I wanted those things to happen more often, even though the sanity was screaming to me to stop it.</p><p>'Oh, I apologize, I should go back to being an asshole. I'm a lot more comfortable in that role' he told me sarcastically and I let out a chuckle at him, shivering both from the cold and his warm glance on me.</p><p>'Jesus, you're cold' Marshall spoke again with a worried furrow, probably noticing my struggle.</p><p>'Yeah, a little. I think I should go inside already' I smiled uncomfortably, hating everything from the wind to my forgetfulness that was ruining that good moment between us. I would have stood and talked with him like that for as long as he would have wanted it... Damn, I had problems, didn't I?</p><p>'Sure, I don't wanna keep you here for long' Marshall nodded seriously, studying my bare shoulders carefully. 'Come here' he murmured in a home-like way, reaching his hands for me for a hug as if it was a habitual thing between us. I swallowed nervously in disbelief but his teasing smirk that seemed softer that moment proved me that there was no joke.</p><p>I made a step in Marshall's direction, feeling his warm hands on my arms bringing me closer to him in a careful embrace. I put my hands on his chest gently, scared of doing something wrong or inappropriate, and laid my head on his shoulder, trying to control my breath. A smell of his cologne became the strongest I'd ever felt, and I refused to believe that it was for real. Marshall's hands ran up and down my arms slowly to make me warm but instead giving an almost trembling sensation to my skin. We were standing like that for a short moment or maybe, for a couple of minutes. No matter what was the time, I knew it wasn't enough.</p><p>'Have a good night, Ella. I'll see you' he half-whispered somewhere near my ear, burning the skin of my neck with his hot breath and soft, satin tone that he had never used with me before. I didn't want to go but that strange night had to come to its end. And I couldn't do anything about it.</p><p>'Thank you, have a good night too' I answered, leaving his embrace and the warmness his body brought me. The last thing I saw before turning around and going away, was his posture, standing near the Cadillac and watching me entering the building with a usual smirk on his lips and two hands in the pockets of his jeans. I couldn't help but remember that sight.</p><p>All in all, that night I plopped on my bed, feeling this strange thing in my chest that couldn't be described with words but was perfectly seen in a form of a foolish smile on my lips. Thank God for Chad who had his birthday party that night. Switching off the lights before going to sleep, I genuinely hoped that whatever drinks and threesomes he had, it ended just as good as it did for me.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey, what's up? The new chapter seems a bit too long for me but I'd better leave it for you to judge. Please, as always, leave me a like or comment to express your opinion on the chapter and encourage me to post frequently, continue with the plot.</p><p>Huge thanks to everyone who supports this story. I really appreciate it. Much love for you all❤️</p><p>P. S. I was wondering if anyone would be interested in a fic about Eminem and Rihanna for about 4-5 chapters length written by me. Let me know 'cause I have an idea in my head. The fic with Marshall and Ella won't be affected by it in any way.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Pissed off</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey, how's it going? A little trouble in paradise here but I have some interesting things for you planned😏</p><p>So, I really hope that you liked it. Thank you a lot for all your support, means a world to me❤️ Please, share your opinion on this chapter by leaving a like or comment to encourage me to continue and post frequently. I'd be very grateful for it. Much love for you all:3</p><p>P. S. For those who were interested, the first chapter for a short Eminem and Rihanna fic is ready. It will be posted just as I'll solve a few problems with it</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For the first time since forever, I wasn't happy about weekends. It was usually the days that were not included in the project plan for Eminem's articles so I had to spend it in my own way, trying to suppress the effect the last night in Marshall's company had on me and configure my thoughts to something else. Or what was even better, to someone else.</p><p>The first day flew by reviewing the material I'd written and listening to the first three Eminem's albums on repeat. Even though the night before I confessed to myself about liking Marshall, I was still telling my mind that it was to know more about him and understand things better for the articles. But I had no choice but to give up soon because the truth was that I just needed something connected to Marshall, and his music was more than perfect for it.</p><p>The same day I also attended a dinner at Jeff's home which wasn't a distraction from the person on my mind either. Jeff was extremely interested in everything that had been happening at my work with Marshall so the whole evening he, his wife Talia and two grown-up kids Charlotte and Michael were devouring every word I was telling. And I couldn't blame them. Every member of the Wade family knew how important that kind of work opportunity was for Jeff and "Wave" so being ignorant about it would have been strange. Not to mention that Michael was a huge Eminem fan so every detail I could reveal seemed like a pure diamond.</p><p>Jeff and I had a good relationship so going to dinners like that was nothing new for me. Though, that time I couldn't help but notice my own passion for the things I was telling. I was glad that Jeff didn't ask questions but I was pretty sure that he was aware of some change that happened to me. I was afraid that it was obvious which change exactly had a place in my behaviour and wasn't ready for that talk.</p><p>Another person on my mind that weekend was Josh. I felt guilt overwhelming me for the things I'd been feeling around Marshall when the guy like him was clearly making moves to get my attention. I liked texting with Josh, talking to him, even spending some time together and I knew that from the right perspective, he was the guy I should have been leaned toward. But the difference was that I liked doing all those things but didn't really like him romantically. I was trying to make myself like him in that way but all the attempts were in vain. Especially, with Marshall around.</p><p>I didn't give up, though. That was why the second weekend I decided to spend with Josh entirely. He seemed excited at my suggestion, and I could say I was kinda excited too. Kinda.</p><p>So, that weekend day we were sitting on the green grass in one of Detroit parks and having fun by talking and eating sandwiches from the nearby cafe. The cool wind was blowing around our bodies but the sun was there to bring some pleasant warmth and I was closing my eyes from time to time to bathe my face in that enjoyable mixture. It was almost evening and we were spending the whole day together.</p><p>'I forgot to say that I've brought the next Eminem CD today, "The Eminem Show". My brother thinks that it's Eminem's best work so you'd better be excited about that one' Josh told with a small teasing grin, hovering beside me as I was laying on my elbows on the ground. The sun rays were lightening his honey eyes that along with the small curles of his chestnut hair were giving him a boyish, almost adorable look, and I thought how unluckily it was that I was excited for the next Eminem's album a lot more that he could suspect.</p><p>'I am excited' I rolled my eyes jokingly to hide the unwanted thoughts of the secret I was keeping about my work and everything connected to Marshall. '2002 and Eminem on the top of the entire rap game'.</p><p>'I see you digging more into his stuff' Josh commented, narrowing his eyes at me, faking a suspicion. 'You're still not telling me what it is all for and I have to admit, the way you sometimes talk about him makes me think that you know him in person' he chuckled, giving me a mocking look and being completely in the dark about a little detail that his joke unintentionally hit the target.</p><p>'I've told you, this is for my work but I really can't say much about it. Maybe, I will be able once it's over' I tried to reassure him and not to show the uncomfortableness on my face from his words. Lying wasn't exactly my cup of tea but I couldn't tell the truth either.</p><p>'Okay, okay' Josh raised his hands in surrender probably from the way of how unnaturally serious I sounded with my answer. God, that was hard. 'It's not like it's that important' oh, Josh, you can't even imagine how important it was. Particularly, when it came to our relationship. 'Let's talk about something else better. I've been thinking about telling you something for some time now...'</p><p>Oh no. From the glance of his honey eyes that were focused on my face and a little awkwardness in his expression all of a sudden, I could tell that whatever he wanted to say was leading to bad consequences. To be exact, placing me in a situation where I had to answer his feelings or reject them. I couldn't lie, I'd already known that it was the second option but I was just not ready for that talk.</p><p>'So, yeah, I've been thinking and I want to say that I really like you, Ella...' he pronounced, hiding his eyes from me, though, not drawing his glance from me completely, expecting my reaction. 'And I was wondering if you...' I was already prepared to face the catastrophe with courage, gathering my thoughts to create a proper answer...</p><p>When unexpectedly, my phone rang loudly, saving both of us from it.</p><p>'I'm sorry, I have to answer' I apologized with a guilty expression and noticed Josh's eyes faint a little. The name of my rescuer was nobody else but Paul Rosenberg and I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to guess the reason for his call on the weekend. But the best way to find out was by picking up the phone. And that was what I did.</p><p>'Hello?'</p><p>'Hey, Ella, it's Paul' he greeted me in his usual professional tone. 'I'm sorry for bothering you on your day off, I don't really like doing things like this' Paul apologized politely, keeping me eager to know what it all was about.</p><p>'It's okay, what's the matter?' I answered, throwing my glance at Josh who was impatiently waiting for the end of the call. I could see he was upset about that sudden interruption.</p><p>'I was speaking on the phone with Marshall not so long ago. He has boxing training today at home in half an hour or so and I thought that it would be a nice addition to the articles because not many people know about him doing boxing. It might be a good episode for the whole picture of Em's life and surely, an entertaining thing for fans' he was speaking rationally, taking his time, and I could see where it was leading. 'So I'd like you to go to his house and see the whole thing, maybe talk to him about it more. I do realize that it's not a part of the contract but I can make sure about an extra payment for this evening if you agree. What you'll say, Ella?'</p><p>Even before Paul finished the sentence, I'd already known what to answer. As much as it was cool to hang out with Josh, I wanted to see Marshall again more than anything and it was a perfect opportunity. Besides, Paul was always good to me so saying "no" could seem like a disrespectful thing to do. Not a huge disaster but still a rather unpleasant situation.</p><p>'Uh, okay, I guess it won't be a problem' I answered, lowering my gaze from Josh not to meet his disappointed eyes. In that minute I mentally promised myself to deal with that whole situation as soon as possible because I wasn't into torturing someone's feelings.</p><p>'Good, I'll be grateful for it. Where are you? I'll send you Marshall's driver to pick you up' Paul said, probably planning everything ahead, and I suspected that he knew I would have agreed.</p><p>'I'll text you the address, thank you' I told him in a warm tone, and we said our goodbyes. Raising my glance at Josh again, I knew I had to experience an unpleasant moment before going.</p><p>'Who was that?' he asked without even a hint of his usual cheerful attitude.</p><p>'That was my boss, kind of' I pronounced, feeling tense. 'He asked me to do something connected to work and I couldn't refuse'.</p><p>'But it's your day off, isn't it?' Josh raised an eyebrow at me and something similar to irritation appeared in his glance. I didn't expect that.</p><p>'Yeah, it is. But it's important so I'm sorry, I have to go now'.</p><p>'Okay, if that is so...' he sighed as of suppressing something annoyed in him and standing up, reaching for my hand to help me get up. 'Don't forget the CD' he handed me "The Eminem Show", making my weird sensation of guilt even stronger when I saw a blonde-headed Marshall in the suit on the cover of it.</p><p>'Thank you' I tried to smile to relieve the tension and took the CD. 'I really enjoyed this day. I'm sorry it had to end like that' I said sincerely, hoping it would make the situation not that bad.</p><p>'Apology is accepted, whatever' he smiled back finally, nodding at me and gathering our stuff from the ground.</p><p>Just as Josh and I had parted sometime later, I found the car already waiting for me near the entrance of the park and made my way to it, trying to ignore an excited feeling of anticipation in my chest. The driver, Mark, appeared to be a pleasant but silent guy so the whole ride I spent wrapped up in my thoughts which was the best option for me that moment.</p><p>The gates of Marshall's mansion welcomed me in a different way than it was the day I had had a weird sleepover at his. Maybe, because it was only getting dark and I could observe everything around a lot better than the previous time it or maybe because I had to go through a few levels of security on my way.</p><p>Getting out of the car, I thanked Mark and headed towards the huge front door but when I was almost there, I saw Royce's figure exiting it with a weird expression in his face.</p><p>'Ella, what are you doing here? Aren't the weekdays are the days off for you?' he greeted me with a little confusion, and I noticed that my arrival perplexed him, showing something uncertain in his movements.</p><p>'Hello to you too' I chuckled at his strange look. 'Paul asked me to come here for boxing training and include it to the articles. Is your dear friend here?' a playful sarcasm escaped my lips but it didn't make the effect I was hoping for. Royce remained serious.</p><p>'Well... It might be not the best timing, actually' he sighed with a worried glance. I didn't expect that reaction. 'Marshall is having a boxing training right now but at this point, I'm kind of worried for the trainer. He could destroy the ring completely'.</p><p>'What are you talking about?' I asked, raising my eyebrows in surprise.</p><p>'Chelsea showed up here today and they had a pretty heated argument so he is very pissed off now. I know that you heard about their story but I think you have no idea how much she hurt Marshall by breaking things with him. She was literally the first one he trusted after the whole thing with Kim and she did him like that. You know what I mean?'</p><p>'Yeah, I think I can imagine' I scowled thoughtfully. 'What did she want, though?'</p><p>'She's just enjoying playing with him and I think she realized she made a mistake. After the little performance two of you showed her, I think she decided to do everything to make him cry for her again. I know Marshall will never trust Chelsea after all of that but she succeeded in throwing him off-balance' Royce was telling me with a concern on his face, and I knew exactly what he was talking about. Twice before I had had a chance to see Chelsea's effect on Marshall which was far from unpleasant.</p><p>'I see. You know about the "little performance"?' I couldn't resist asking.</p><p>'I do' that was the first time when Royce smiled at me. 'I saw the scene from the distance and you know I have my ways cracking at Marshall'.</p><p>'Am I allowed to know what he said?' I pronounced carefully, knowing that Royce would never spread gossips or play for two sides.</p><p>'You know I can't tell you but I think you should know that Chad's birthday made Marshall look at you from the different side as well. That's all I will say' he told me with an enigmatic grin that made my heart melt. No, no, no, it couldn't be true... Or it could be?</p><p>'Thanks at least for that' I had to call on all my strength to hide a foolish smile on my lips but I bet Royce knew how I felt even despite it.</p><p>'Though, Marshall can act not like himself when he's angry so talking to him now might be not that easy' he warned me seriously but I was too busy being excited to see Marshall, dismissing his words almost entirely. I thought I would cope with Eminem's moody persona somehow. It wasn't like it was the first time I would have seen him like that.</p><p>'Okay, I'll see you at work then' I smiled at him thankfully.</p><p>'Good luck, Ella'.</p><p>I said goodbyes to Royce, feeling elated. The door of the mansion was opened by the old lady that happened to be a maid. As I hadn't seen her on my first visit to Marshall's house, I assumed she worked there not a full day. She greeted me politely but without a big enthusiasm and escorted to the basement floor where there was a gym section. Not responding to my awkward "thank you", she left, and I took a breath before entering the gym.</p><p>I came inside almost on my tiptoes, looking around like a thief. There was a full-size gym in Marshall's house and through one of the glass doors, I caught a glimpse of an indoor swimming pool that looked impressive to the sight. From the distance, I could hear the trainer's firm instructions in the air and as I turned around the corner, I saw a boxing ring with two moving figures inside of it. One of them was no one else but Marshall Mathers.</p><p>He was moving fast and light on his legs around the figure of the trainer, punching the target in the trainer's hands with his boxing gloves. His glance was focused, face tense and features unnaturally sharpened. With every punch, I could see the rage and frustration managing Marshall's movements. He breathed heavily but every next jab seemed stronger than the previous ones, covering his forehead and bare arms in a white tank top in sweat. Muscles on his body seemed to tense to their highest point. And I would give a lot to see his blue eyes that minute to know exactly what was on his mind because Royce said no lie: Marshall was definitely pissed off.</p><p>'Easy, easy, Marshall, you're about to kill me today' I heard trainer's voice speaking with a low chuckle and stopping the action. Marshall breathed, recovering. 'Take a break. Looks like you have a visitor' he nodded in my direction with a small smirk, causing me to look away uncomfortably.</p><p>'Okay' Marshall answered with a tired expression, his whole upper body glistening with sweat.</p><p>The trainer took the time to help Marshall untie his gloves and took the equipment, climbing out of the ring. Marshall turned into my direction to face me, and I made a mental note not to stare too much at his muscled arms in a tank top. His blue, almost ocean-like eyes met mine, showing a storm that was raging there and making my body stiffen at the beautiful but scary sight.</p><p>'Hey, didn't know you were not only Jordan but Tyson junior as well' I pronounced with a small tease on the end of my tongue to put the conversation in our favourite direction straight away.</p><p>'What can I say? I'm a man of many talents' he answered, climbing out of the ring as his trainer left the room. No mocking could be heard in his tone, though, and a smug habitual smirk was nowhere to be found. That sounded more like a matter of fact as if his mind was on something else that moment.</p><p>'Sure, you are...' I said wryly, a little taken aback by his greeting. Maybe, there was not a time for jokes so I decided to talk seriously. 'You were going crazy there, what happened?' I asked carefully, afraid of the reaction. I hoped for him not to push me away but take my support as I was proposing it, even though it might have seemed like a lot for the strangers that we were.</p><p>'I just let another bitch fuck with my head for another time' he said in a still voice, furrowing his eyebrows and focusing on untying the bandages left after the boxing gloves, not giving me a glance. Something was very wrong about that Marshall as if he wasn't himself. He wasn't just moody like I got used to seeing him often earlier, it was something else.</p><p>'Was that Chelsea?' I asked quietly, almost aware of the consequences.</p><p>'Yes, she came earlier' he answered in an irritated voice as if I shouldn't have touched the subject. Like the subject was an old but still painful wound.</p><p>'Do you want to talk about it?' I gathered all my courage to ask slowly. I knew we weren't friends but that intimate moment we had had after Chad's party gave me a hope we could talk to each other like that.</p><p>'Look, didn't Paul send you just to watch me fight and write it down?' he snapped suddenly in a severe tone, stopping what he was doing and raising his glance at me. Something blinding was in Marshall's eyes, and I didn't like that.</p><p>'Yes, but I thought that maybe, you would like to...' I stuttered not really sure what I was saying, feeling that it was probably better to drop the topic but I just couldn't stop.</p><p>'Why do you have to act like you give a fuck?' Marshall asked in a severe voice, eyes narrowed in sarcastic disbelief. I couldn't recognize that tone, couldn't call that expression familiar. It seemed like that anger inside of him was controlling him fully. 'I see those things you're doing all the time'.</p><p>'What things?' I pronounced quietly, still trying to understand what was happening between us. No matter how it was called, it didn't feel good.</p><p>'Don't act like you don't understand' he said, every word angrier with a venomous undertone that was hurting me each time stronger. The conversation we were having seemed to get out of hand, and I didn't know how to help it. 'All those things like comforting me after the banter with Chelsea in the club, covering me with a blanket, defending me on Chad's birthday, saying all those things about me that I don't deserve to be treated like that. What is it all for?' he asked with the cold expression, matching his voice to it.</p><p>'What do you mean?' I was dumbly asking the question, genuinely not understanding where it was leading and what Marshall wanted to hear. I couldn't believe that just two days ago we were talking in completely another way and even hugging. It seemed like his attitude was unrecognizable and even though I knew that it was Chelsea to blame for it, I couldn't help but feel hurt.</p><p>'What is it, Ella? Money? Is this why you act all caring?' he continued in the wave of his rage, standing a few steps away from me, and my heart dropped in shock. 'No, it doesn't seem like it. Then what else, tell me?' Marshall demanded in a strict tone, close to evil. I felt like I couldn't bear it, his anger was overwhelming, unfamiliar, blind. Royce was so right when he had tried to warn me earlier but did it change anything? Why was he acting like that with me? 'Or maybe, everything is a lot easier?' he added poisonously when I didn't answer, and a furious flash appeared in his dangerously blue eyes. 'Oh yeah, I think I got it, I know the reason for this behaviour' a mocking evil smirk appeared on his lips all of a sudden.</p><p>'Do you want me to fuck you or something?'</p><p>When I heard the question leaving his mouth, I felt deaf for a moment. My heart was beating crazily as I couldn't believe my ears. Our eyes locked in the long stare, and I saw how something vanished in his orbs at that moment as if he realized what he had pronounced only a second after. The unpleasant smirk fainted on his lips, parting them a little. The silence of the room enveloped our postures, leaving the two of us looking at each other without any word. Me in the shocked disbelief and him in the smouldering anger.</p><p>'You've never been truly taken care of by a woman, have you?' I spoke bitterly, crashing the glass of heavy silence, not taking my eyes off of his. His blue ones were taken aback by my question. Something in his face changed hearing it, slowly softening his features. 'If all they did was lie, it doesn't mean that there is nobody with good intentions' I said in a trembling voice somehow, feeling myself a little dizzy by the situation. All of a sudden I felt an urge to leave, to escape, hide somewhere in the other end of the world from him. Marshall's lips moved slightly to say something, and I could almost see a regret. But I just didn't want to continue the conversation.</p><p>'I think it would be better if I go. Tell Paul my apologies, I have an emergency' I told him whatever bullshit I could think of, swallowing the bitterness in my throat and turned around, not being able to handle his glance anymore. Not waiting for his response, I stormed out of the gym in a blink of an eye, stumbling on the figure of the trainer in the exit.</p><p>'Fuck... Ella, wait!' was all I heard Marshall saying but I didn't want to stop.</p><p>I knew he wouldn't go after me so the best decision was to leave the house as soon as possible. I was going fast, not even thinking about anything else. A feeling of anger at myself that I was so stupid and foolish to leave Josh and come there to see him only to hear what he really thought about me. How naive it was to think that Marshall Mathers could treat me better or even look at me in a different way. Oh, Royce, you were right about everything except the thing on Chad's birthday. Looks like it changed absolutely nothing.</p><p>'For God's sake, wait!' Marshall's familiar voice caught me once again when I left the house and was on my way to the gates. But I didn't listen, I was too close to the successful escape from him. As soon as I thought I would avoid his presence at least for the rest of the evening, I felt a strong grip on my elbow and in a moment I was faced with his eyes again, gasping lightly.</p><p>'I'm sorry, Ella, I didn't mean what I said' Marshall's hot breath brushed my lips, and I realized how close we happened to be as he pulled me to him to stop me. It was already dark outside but from such a short distance I could see his eyes being clear from the rage and expression furrowed with concern. His glance was studying my face in a search of something, and I could feel myself trembling from his proximity and the rush I'd been in only a second earlier.</p><p>'Let me go' I whispered, letting my eyes to observe the sharp lines of his handsome features and realizing that speaking with his touch on me was ten times more difficult. Marshall's hand was still holding my elbow not strong enough to hurt me but firm enough not to let me go.</p><p>'No' he answered in a low voice, shaking his head a little and calming his breath from running after me. 'Not until you listen to me properly'.</p><p>'I've heard enough of your opinion about me, what else?' I managed to say barely audible but the tone of my voice was foreign, almost cold. Marshall furrowed his eyebrows, sighing and lowering his glance for a moment. Then I felt his hand releasing its grip on me, and we parted slowly.</p><p>'Ella, I was fucking angry, I didn't mean that shit' he pronounced, raising his gaze at me again. 'You were right. Every fucking female in my life except my daughters lied and I honestly don't believe that one can have good intentions' Marshall told me sincerely, shrugging bitterly. I could feel him being honest and sincere. Maybe, like never before. 'I just don't, that's the truth. Because every fucking time I believe somebody it goes like it was with Chelsea. That's why I was kinda lost when you defended me on Chad's birthday and it got me suspecting things. You know what I'm talking about?'</p><p>'Kind of' I mumbled, trying to avoid his glance that was searching for mine. I knew he had trust issues but reading it in media or hearing it in his music always seemed like something distant and almost fictional. However, it was as real as it could be when we were standing on the path to his gates and the evening was so close to becoming a night. 'But you could've told me that in a different way'.</p><p>'I'm sorry' he sighed heavily again. 'Since I've sobered up I've been good at controlling my anger but sometimes it gets out of hand' he added with a guilty expression on his face that seemed genuine. And I was getting what he was trying to say, I understood it. But the things he had said in the gym were still ringing in my ears, and I wasn't ready to have a proper conversation. 'Please, say something' Marshall said in a soft warm tone, soothing me with its sound when I didn't say a word.</p><p>'I just need to go' I swallowed, meeting his eyes for a second. That was a huge mistake, I instantly felt like closing the distance between us. But that could have been a disaster.</p><p>'No, Ella, please, don't leave us on bad terms' he made a step closer to me, trying to touch me but I didn't let that happen, stepping away from him as if getting burned from it.</p><p>'As if it's something we are not used to' I snorted. Maybe, a little too wryly but that was the only miss I had that evening. I felt tired all of a sudden and just wanted to go home.</p><p>'You are right but I don't want it to be like this anymore' his voice was confident and sharp, and I just liked the way he said it. 'Come on, just stay' he pronounced gently, making me shiver. Marshall's blue eyes were sparkling in the dark, and I spotted something that made my heart beating faster in his glance. As if... As if it wasn't just about work and that was such a crazy thought. I just needed to leave as soon as possible and keep us at distance till the end of the project because all of it was starting to get complicated for me. I shouldn't have felt the way I did.</p><p>'I'll see you, Mr Mathers' I said as neutrally as my nerves let me, though, I believe Marshall knew that it was just acting. I should have left faster without listening to Marshall. It would've been easier to think of him as a bad guy than watching him opening up for me and apologizing. I couldn't fall for him, I just couldn't. Having such a big urge to see him that evening should have been the first alarm. I should have done everything not to let that happen to me again. 'Have a good night'.</p><p>'Next time I won't let you escape from talking to me. You know that, right?' Marshall dismissed my words completely and a dare made itself prominent in his tone. He wasn't angry, he was just saying something mind-blowing, promising me the continuation that I didn't expect. The continuation I was afraid of but surely needed.</p><p>'I don't think so' I responded simply, drawing my glance from his and turning around to leave. The driver, Mark, was standing not far away from the gates, waiting for me to get me back home. His face was surprised to see me leaving so soon. I was surprised too. At everything that happened, though.</p><p>'We'll see' I heard Marshall saying behind my back but didn't take a look at him. I knew I could have lost, no need to risk like that. I just needed to clear my head and come up with ideas on what to do next. The bed in my apartment was the only clear aim on my mind and I decided to get there without any delay.</p><p>I could watch from the car window Marshall's figure standing near the gates and eyeing me intensely. Something wrong was about leaving like that, "leaving us on bad terms", and Marshall was right about it. That thought felt hurtful somehow so I just brushed it away. At least, for some time. Taking the last look at Marshall's posture, I closed the car window and felt the car moving away from his house. Instead of looking out the window on the night city, I closed my eyes shut and recalled the feeling of his breath on my lips.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Without any notice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Looking at Marshall was something I would've never gotten used to. That's what I was foolishly thinking of, watching his face with a deeply focused furrow leaning over his notebook. He was holding a pen in his right hand, bringing it to his lips from time to time in a mindless action, and I could see his eyes scanning the paper intensely. Marshall's body was fully relaxed on his seat in a lazy position, occupying just a little too much space for one person and leaving it unnoticed. There were headphones on his ears so thankfully, he was too busy to spot me observing him so attentively.</p><p>I was sitting across from Marshall in a private jet and trying to read a book. Three Eminem's bodyguards a little further from us had their seats with their backs facing me and chatted about something quietly. We were somewhere 6 miles above the ground, and I should have concentrated on anything, except the person in front of me, but was shamelessly failing to do that. I just couldn't get my mind off of the strange morning I had that day. To be completely honest, I wasn't even trying that hard to do so.</p><p>After the argument in Marshall's house, I asked for a day off. I really didn't feel that well for some reason and I could only explain it with a lack of sleep I was experiencing. Paul was kind enough to let me stay at home on Monday, convincing me that there was nothing important planned, and I suspected that he heard about the thing that happened between me and Marshall. But obviously, Paul was too delicate and professional to ask, and I was grateful for it.</p><p>I wasn't feeling offended, though. It wasn't like that. The more I was replaying Marshall's words about women in his life, the more I was starting to understand him better. Marshall Mathers could say a lot of things in the burst of anger but I knew that the apology was sincere and that what really mattered.</p><p>But I needed some time for myself. I still had mixed feelings about the situation. Mostly, because I was very aware of the fact that my reaction and the emotions it evoked in me were not a good sign. I was growing to like Marshall more and more, and it was becoming a problem. I didn't know how to face him again properly and work as nothing had happened. The only thing that was clear for me was that we should have kept as much distance in our interaction as possible to remain professional, and only Lord knew that I wanted the opposite.</p><p>So, I asked Paul to tell Marshall not to pick me up on Tuesday and surprisingly, Paul agreed, not even asking about reasons. I went to sleep with a nervous feeling in my chest, not knowing what to expect from the next day and hoping that I would've been lucky enough to avoid any trouble.</p><p>However, the morning didn't go as I expected it to. I thought I was having a bad dream when I heard my doorbell ringing loudly through the fog of my sleep at 6 am and tried to ignore it at first. But it was ringing and ringing again, making me groan and get up of my bed with half-closed eyes. Stumbling on my feet, I managed to reach the door and click the lock on it. Rubbing my eyes and yawning a little, I opened the door without any actual thoughts on my mind. But when I saw who was the unwanted early guest on my threshold, I suddenly felt my urge to sleep disappearing quickly.</p><p>'Morning, sleepyhead' the visitor's lips formed a familiar playful, even shameless smirk and his eyes began their own game of observing my posture and making me feel uneasy in the bad habit of them. From all of the things, I was least expecting to happen to me that morning was Marshall fucking Mathers standing on my threshold and observing my short set of PJs I had on, sending a red colour straight to my face. I guess I should have called it a good morning. Instead, I knew for sure, that kind of appearance was the exact trouble I was oh so badly trying to avoid.</p><p>'What are you doing here?' I asked him bluntly, trying to cope with the confusion inside me. Or what was more accurate, trying to understand what the hell was going on. Marshall chuckled softly in response, and I saw his eyes dropping to my body for the second time, longer than the previous one. The goddamn silky shorts and lacy camisole were no helpers for me that morning.</p><p>'I was a lot better host when you came to my place' his voice was teasing, soft, with a note of sarcastic judgment, and I felt nervous. He acted like nothing happened and had the audacity to come to my place so early in the morning. I didn't know what he wanted but I knew that I shouldn't have to succumb to his seductive charms.</p><p>'Well, I didn't come to your place without invitation at six in the morning' I raised my eyebrow, placing my hands on my chest as if it could cover me from him in any way. Or maybe, it was just a defensive gesture.</p><p>'Oh yeah, sorry, you visited at night' he answered wryly, biting the inside of his cheek to suppress a smile. 'Anyway, if you want to know why I'm here, then you should let me in' he added cunningly, and I thought that he looked unforgivably attractive with a clean shave and a close-fitting long-sleeve. And that was distracting.</p><p>'Okay,' I said with suspicion on my expression and made a step back to the wall to let Marshall in. I forgot, though, that my hallway was not that wide so when he was passing me to get in, our fronts brushed, and I caught a grin on Marshall's face that appeared quite close to me for a moment. His eyes looked at me mockingly, and I felt his breath somewhere on my jaw. The heat of his body and his proximity infected me with a smell of aftershave and his fucking shower gel or whatever it was that smelled so heavenly. When Marshall passed my figure, I swallowed a lump in my throat and turned around to close the door. I'd never been so awake in my life before.</p><p>I followed Marshall to my room where he made his way when I was closing the door, gathering all my courage. I was dying to know why he came and to be honest, I was afraid and wanted more than anything at the same time the reason to be not job-related. When I came in the room, he was observing the CD's with his albums on my coffee table and the CD player that Jake got me beside it, his fingers brushing the covers softly.</p><p>'You play that shit often, huh?' Marshall asked me with amusement in his tone, turning his head to me when I walked in and nodding at the CDs. I'd been surely playing his music a lot lately and not just for work, I genuinely enjoyed it. But somehow I just couldn't admit it to him that minute. We were supposed to be distant but there he was, standing in the middle of my room at 6 in the morning and fucking with my head with the fact of his presence.</p><p>'No, I displayed it for you to notice' I answered venomously, impatience colouring my voice. He chortled. 'Will you say what you want now? The work starts in 3 hours and I told Paul I'm getting there by taxi'.</p><p>'You try to avoid me, Ella, but that's not gonna work' he pronounced a little more seriously, ignoring my question again and making a few steps to me. He was doing that on purpose, enjoying my confusion, and I could spot his blue clear eyes watching me attentively with something unreadable in them.</p><p>'I don't see how it's related to my question, Mr Mathers' I sounded as formal as I could have, even though under his gaze I felt not that strong and powerful. My bare legs were a great interest for his glance the whole conversation and I loved it. No, no, no... Wait, I was supposed to hate it.</p><p>'Oh, your question' Marshall answered, making it look like he just remembered it and putting his hands in the pockets of his jeans nonchalantly:</p><p>'I came to tell you to pack your things. We have a jet to New York in a couple of hours'.</p><p>His expression was as calm and unfazed as if he told me something completely obvious but his glance sparkled with a winning twinkle. If he wanted to surprise me, then he managed to do that well.</p><p>'I don't understand' I said with genuine confusion, feeling that that morning was growing strange exponentially, not even giving a chance for me to react to everything that was happening.</p><p>'Fifty called me yesterday and invited me to his party. I go there for a few days and obviously, you go with me' he shrugged mindlessly.</p><p>'Why didn't Paul call or text me about it?'</p><p>'I woke up today from him calling on my phone and saying that he was so busy that he forgot to tell you. I was very kind to tell him that I'd do it myself' Marshall's lips transformed into a full smirk that along with his full of mocking tone were the most irritating things in the world that minute. I would have preferred Paul to call me even earlier at night than Marshall appearing at my door like that and having that smug expression on his face. But I guess, nothing could've been done about it. So, we were going to New York?</p><p>'How nice of you' I made an annoyed grimace, my sarcasm filling the room. I wasn't that angry or anything but I just didn't like to be taken by surprise. Besides, the whole situation was rather weird: Marshall was at my place, I was in my PJs and my mind was an absolute mess. It seemed like the world started spinning in a different direction. 'Does Paul go with us, though?'</p><p>'No, he's dealing with some things now. But Porter and Royce should come tomorrow' Marshall explained briefly, not hiding the satisfaction on his face from my reaction. Well, at least, I would've been not alone with him on that trip.</p><p>'How much time do I have to pack and get ready?'</p><p>'Well,' he mumbled, looking at his watch with a well-made bored expression. 'About forty minutes'.</p><p>'Thanks a lot' I told him wryly, getting a chuckle from him in response.</p><p>'You are welcome'.</p><p>I got my stuff and rushed to the bathroom to make myself look presentable after sleep and clear my mind with a quick shower. However, standing under the water, I was intensely thinking about Marshall's presence in my apartment. What was he doing there when I left him? How should have I behave around him to keep us at distance? And wasn't that actually crazy to think of that I was naked in the shower and he was just on the other side of the door? I wondered if there was the slightest chance that he could've thought about it as well. I felt my cheeks reddening at the thought.</p><p>When I went out almost ready, I found my room empty so Marshall was apparently in the kitchen. That made me let out a sigh of relief, not being ready to be watched by him. I took the time to pack some necessary things for New York and apply some light make up, spending probably too much time for my hair. But how could it be any other way? No matter how fucked up it was, I liked him and that was making me urge to feel beautiful under his gaze. So, I couldn't hold myself back from that mistake.</p><p>Finishing my packing and checking myself in the mirror once more, I carefully made my way to the kitchen to see what Marshall was doing there and tell that I was ready to go. Deep inside I was glad to have my jeans and shirt on because being serious and indifferent around Marshall in my sleepwear was literally impossible.</p><p>When I came in, I saw my guest standing with his back to the door and looking out my window. I could observe the muscles on his spine under the fabric of the long-sleeve defining, adding some strength to his posture and reminding me of the firm but gentle embrace he'd held me in not that long ago. He's not really tall but toned figure cast a shadow on the tiled floor as if spreading his presence around the whole room. And I thought how in the furnishing of my kitchen it was foreign but pleasant to the sight.</p><p>The next thing I spotted was a cup of coffee standing on the table and two fried eggs with toasts waiting to be eaten on the plate beside it. A slight confusion appeared on my features for a moment but then it was replaced by an unwitting smile. The fact that he could do something like that was absolutely mind-blowing and unapologetically adorable. I should have kept a straight face and a cold behaviour after that scene in Marshall's house but I had to admit, that was harder than I'd hoped it would've been.</p><p>'I looked at what your fridge had in it and made some coffee. Hope you don't mind' Marshall spoke, turning around to face me, probably hearing my steps. His expression was changed to a more serious one with a thoughtful furrow. It felt like I snapped him out of his thoughts or perhaps, stopped the train of it, and he had to come back to reality to speak to me.</p><p>'No, it's okay' I answered simply. 'So, this is for me?' I nodded at the breakfast served on the table with an astonished tone in my voice. I was genuinely hoping that Marshall was worse than I expected him to be because that would've been way easier for both of us. But I already knew that it wasn't true at all.</p><p>'Yes but be quick' he said with a half-grin as if something in my reaction amused him all of a sudden.</p><p>'Thanks' I obeyed and sat down to eat under Marshall's gaze. The food smelled good, eggs fried just like it was at his house, and I caught myself on a thought that I really missed it. 'What about you? Did you have anything?'</p><p>'Yeah, I had breakfast at home' Marshall nodded in agreement, turning around to look out the window again. I think he was aware that him watching me eating was making me uncomfortable. 'Did you pack everything and ready for the flight?'</p><p>'As ready as I can be after such a bracing wake up' I couldn't hold myself back from a sarcastic comment, chewing the second piece of toast, and instantly heard Marshall's chuckle in response. 'I chose some comfortable clothes for the flight and packed whatever could be useful'.</p><p>'Hope that you didn't forget the PJs' he pronounced in a teasing lacy tone, and I raised my head from my plate in an instinct only to meet his playful expression with a smirk looking at me shamelessly. 'The ones you were wearing today would be fine' I felt the heat coming to my face and I was begging the universe not make me blush that moment. He was playing with me, enjoying the effect it was creating, and I wondered if that could be a little more than just a want to make me feel embarrassed.</p><p>'Don't worry, I didn't' I told him as calmly as I could, looking straight into his blue eyes, and dropped my gaze to the plate again as if getting busy with finishing breakfast. I could practically feel a stupid smirk on his face that minute.</p><p>'Good' Marshall said in response, tone unusually satin, and made his way to exit the kitchen. 'Where is your suitcase?' he asked, stopping.</p><p>'It's near the door' I answered in between drinking my coffee. That was surely the weirdest and the most unexpected breakfast I'd ever had.</p><p>'I'll be waiting in the car' he added as a matter of fact before going away, and I muttered something in agreement, not really sure if that was needed. Feeling an urge to quit the job I was having and at the same time, being excited for whatever was coming, I finished breakfast and eventually, left my apartment.</p><p>So, that was basically why I was sitting in front of Marshall in his private jet that was flying us to New York, and the book in my hands had literally no use for me that minute. I wondered what Marshall was thinking about all of that. Perhaps, he didn't give a damn about our strange relationship. But I just didn't want to believe that.</p><p>Raising my glance from the book for the hundredth time to look at Marshall, I spotted a small smirk on his lips that hadn't been there before. As if hearing all my thoughts, he looked into my direction, and our eyes met unexpectedly, making me wince a little. His blue orbs gifted me with a light mocking, knowing exactly what I was thinking. He caught me staring, and I had to act like I did that not on purpose but I was surely never good at pretending and Marshall wasn't that stupid. Oh well, there was no excuse for me, was there?</p><p>'Got something interesting to look at?' he asked teasingly, taking off his headphones and moving on his seat to look at me from the better angle. I saw Marshall's fingers playing with a pencil in his hand, and recalled their touch, feeling a ticklish sensation in my body.</p><p>'Yeah, your bodyguard Steve is a handsome guy, can't help myself' I said simply, holding his gaze, my tone obvious and careless. Answering something like that wasn't that smart but to my defence, Marshall caught me off guard with his question.</p><p>'Sure, he is' he licked his lips in response, transforming them into a grin now, eyes twinkling at me. Talking was always a captivating game for both of us, and I knew that he wanted to win consistently. 'How about the guy from the music store, though? Does he know about you checking out other men?' he added daringly, not losing a tease and showing me just a little bit of irritation on the "guy from the music store" part. I wished I could have said that I didn't like it. But no one would have imagined how much I did.</p><p>'You have a habit of sticking your nose in my business, Mr Mathers. Why is that so?' I said calmly, withstanding the challenge, enjoying that formal "Mr Mathers" thing. I could feel him hating it, and it was a sign for me to use it more and more just to tease him.</p><p>'Oh, I'm a curious guy, you know' Marshall shrugged unbothered, continuing his impeccable act. 'An attentive one too. That's why I could see you watching me the entire flight' he smirked smugly.</p><p>'Of course' I rolled my eyes at him, not really trying hard to argue because I knew it would've been in vain. 'But I think you're enjoying it too much'.</p><p>'Why shouldn't I enjoy the attention of a beautiful woman? Don't be foolish' he snorted not impressed with a sly smirk, making my body cover with millions of goosebumps. He'd never said I was beautiful before. He'd never said anything about me at all before, to be exact. And I'd never known how pleasant it was to hear it from him, how much I needed him to say it. Until that moment.</p><p>'You flirt with me? Oh wow,' I let the corners of my mouth lift a bit, couldn't resist it. 'I never imagined that it's what comes right after insults'.</p><p>'Oh, come on' he snorted displeased. 'I fucked up, that's true. And I apologized even though you didn't want to talk properly' Marshall admitted in a serious tone, furrowing his eyebrows a little. 'But I know I would've fixed it if you hadn't run away' he added a bit more easily, letting me see his promising glance. I felt my heart fastening its speed for some reason. Fix it?</p><p>'How?' I asked without thinking. Sitting not that far away from him suddenly felt like a bad idea. But I wanted the answer more than anything.</p><p>'In the way that would've made you get rid of that annoying date guy', he pronounced in a serious and confident tone as if it was something he had no doubts about. His blue eyes making me part my lips.</p><p>It all was one big insanity. That jet was too small for two of us that minute, making my heartbeat rise. And the worst thing to understand was that I would've gotten rid of that "annoying date guy" just like he'd said. He just needed to really fix everything.</p><p>'Mr. Mathers, we're landing in 10 minutes' I turned my head to see Steve talking to Marshall from his seat, interrupting our small moment of silence after those dangerous words. Partly, I was glad for that because I surely didn't know what to answer.</p><p>'Okay, thank you' Marshall answered casually, returning his glance to me again. But I decided that all of it was too much for me to handle. So, I got up from my seat to go to the bathroom, excusing myself and feeling Marshall's gaze on my back. That trip was already something and we weren't even in New York yet.</p><p>As we landed, the car took us to the hotel where 50 Cent prepared rooms for us and where the next day had to be his big party. The whole road to the hotel I was trying to avoid Marshall's glance but it was difficult as we were sitting on the backseat together. He was looking out the window, watching the city sceneries that we were passing by and I decided to do the same. An awkward tension was a description of a feeling that was between us, and I was eager to be alone in my hotel room for the rest of the day.</p><p>The hotel lobby greeted us with black marble floors and gold detailing on the snowy white walls. That was probably one of the biggest and the most expensive hotels in New York where you could easily feel small and insignificant along with having a thought of being underdressed. However, one of the things that I really liked about Marshall was that he usually didn't give a damn about those things so entering the lobby with him in a grey hoodie and matching sweats, I felt a lot better.</p><p>Right near the receptionist desk, I saw a man in a black T-shirt with a big gold chain on who couldn't be anyone else then Curtis Jackson, judging by the way he was talking and the manner of his behaviour. He had a serious expression, apparently giving some orders, but when he turned his head and spotted Marshall and I reaching him, a bright and dazzling smile appeared on his lips.</p><p>'Em, I've been waiting for you for hours, why so long?' Fifty greeted Marshall, pulling him a small hug, and patting his shoulder lightly. There was no doubt he was glad to see Marshall and judging by a half-smile on Marshall's expression, it was mutual.</p><p>'Hey, man, sorry, had some delays' Marshall answered without lots of explanation. 'Saw you acting all severe here' he added with mocking in his tone, nodding at the receptionist who was looking at us attentively.</p><p>'No one can deal with my shit better than I do' Fifty chuckled in response. 'Had to solve a couple of problems' he added, receiving a knowing nod from Marshall as an answer. 'Why don't you let me meet your girl here, though?' Fifty suddenly switched his attention to me, observing me from my head to my toes with a pure interest in his gaze and a light welcoming smirk.</p><p>'Fifty, that's Ella. She's making articles about me for Detroit's "Wave"' Marshall answered, chortling. Hearing Curtis Jackson calling me Eminem's girl was a strange and unexpected thing. Could I really look like Marshall's girl? But honestly, I liked the way it sounded.</p><p>'Oh really? So I messed up? Sorry, I was thinking Em found a hella nice girl finally' Fifty apologized politely, winking at me, a grin not leaving his lips. 'But I heard about the articles a lot actually. Call me Fifty. Nice to meet you, Ella' he nodded at me, stealing a glance at Marshall who remained nonchalant but I could spot an "oh shut up about it" message in his features. Had 50 Cent heard about me in advance?</p><p>'Nice to meet you too' I smiled in a friendly way, thinking that Fifty's presence was actually very pleasant. He came across as a decisive, confident and charming person. However, I had a feeling that being his enemy was something you should definitely try to avoid at all costs. 'Thank you for letting me stay here'.</p><p>'Sure, my pleasure' Fifty answered with a smile this time. The glance of his eyes was telling me that he surely knew about me a little more than I told him.</p><p>'Curtis, are you done with the orders? Can we go now?' behind Fifty's back all of a sudden we heard the voice of a woman that was coming closer and closer to us with an impatience on her face. She had a long ponytail of dark hair, tanned skin and black causal dress on that, however, hugged her curves tightly in all the right places. I assumed she was Latina, and really liked the way she looked. By the way she talked to Fifty, I could say that she was his girl. If in his world of relationships could actually be that type of label.</p><p>'Teala, come here. Em and Ella, the journalist I was telling you about, just arrived' Fifty answered calmly, making a gesture to her and completely dismissing her impatience. Teala frowned a little but when she saw me and Marshall standing not far away, a wide smile appeared on her face and she let Fifty put a hand around her waist.</p><p>'Good to see you' she pronounced warmly, greeting Marshall briefly and looking at me in a benign way. 'I'm Teala, welcome to New York'.</p><p>Fifty wasn't in a rush to give any explanations about who Teala was for him but there was no need for that. It didn't seem like there was something very serious between them but she was surely good, and he knew that. Maybe that was why the view of them together I liked a lot. They seemed almost perfect for each other.</p><p>'Ella, I might have some plans for us later today' Teala's glossy lips formed a genuine smile after a small chat between four of us. 'I was just looking for Curtis to go with me to pick my outfit for tomorrow's party. But he's not that fun to shop with' she snorted with a fake annoyance, making Fifty chuckle.</p><p>'That's because I said that when I buy a shoe for her, I actually do it for myself' he explained shrugging. 'What can I say? The woman beside me has to have some nice shoes, how would I look if it ain't like that?'</p><p>'But you could at least not say that aloud and pretend that you buy them for my pleasure' Teala rolled her eyes at him without any offence on her expression, though. Fifty grinned, bringing her closer to him. I guess, she was used to his attitude and saying something snappy was the most she could do about it. 'Anyway, what you'll say about it, Ella? Hope you don't have an outfit for the party too'.</p><p>'She doesn't which is weird because I warned her about it beforehand' Marshall commented with a smug smirk before I could answer and I sent him death look in response. Bastard...</p><p>'Yeah, as a matter of a fact, I don't so that would be lovely' I had to thank and keep myself from answering something else, feeling Marshall's giggling glance on me and dismissing his comment. He liked poking fun at me and I wondered why that day he was so persistent about it.</p><p>Agreeing on that, Fifty insisted for us to have some rest and we headed to our rooms with a promising to have dinner with both of them later. Thank God Marshall and I had separate rooms, even though they were right next to each other. It was enough to think about him too much but not enough to do anything stupid.</p><p>Entering my hotel room, I plopped on the bed with a tired sigh of relief. The flight wasn't that long but the whole road made me a little tired so I surely needed a nap. Spending that much time with Marshall almost alone wasn't that well for me and that phrase about "fixing everything" refused to leave my mind. What if I'd stayed? What would've he done? Multiple scenarios in a form of images were running through my head, making me crazy, but I couldn't do anything about it.</p><p>I raised my glance at the ceiling, positioning myself on the sheets in a more comfortable way. My suitcase was standing near the door and I had to have a shower and change. The thought of the next day's party suddenly made me nervous for some reason but there was still a long evening ahead and I wasn't ready for that either. The whole New York trip felt sudden and unreal so I wondered if I actually woke up that morning or that was just one of my strange dreams. Not finding an answer to that question and finally giving it up, I just closed my eyes and felt myself slowly falling asleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey, you🙃 Who wanted an update? Got me a lot of time to write for some reason but things happen. Still enjoyed working on it a lot so hope you liked it too.</p><p>Please, as always express your opinion by giving it a like or commenting to encourage me to post frequently. I really appreciate all the support you've been given to me. Much love❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. New York and a little revelation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Taking a nap was not exactly a good idea. As much as I needed some sleep after the flight, waking up from it, I felt even more tired somehow. Maybe, because an hour of sleep was nothing more than a tease for my tired body. Especially, with so many things happening that morning.</p><p>I woke up and notified Diana about my location. We were supposed to meet that evening but with the turns of events, I had to call her and cancel it. I have to say that she was a lot more eager about my trip to New York than I was, though. She commented on the news with the phrase: "Oh my God, New York? That's so romantic!", apparently meaning a lot more by it than it was in reality. But I couldn't stop my friend from thinking things about me and Marshall so all I did was appeasing her curiosity with all the details.</p><p>In fact, I wanted to share it with her maybe even more than she wanted to hear it. I just didn't admit it like that. Because how could I? I had a perfect legend of liking Josh a lot and I had to stick to it for my own well-being. Diana could've never heard anything about my real attitude to Marshall.</p><p>I still had quite a lot of time before meeting Teala for shopping so taking shower and change was the best thing to do. It was only after that when I could just sit on the sofa and observe the hotel room, eating and drinking my coffee in a white cup with a thin gold border. Oh, the expensive life I wasn't used to.</p><p>My home for a New York trip was a one big room in creamy colors. A queen-sized bed was standing on the elevation covered in white sheets, already wrinkled from my nap but still appealing to the sight, giving me an urge to come back to sleep. To the left to it, there was a bathroom door slightly opened and a fluffy robe hanging on the hook. Not far away from it stood a wooden drawer with my make-up and other essential things and a big square mirror above it.</p><p>The other half of the room was a sitting area with two old-fashioned sofas and a few chairs around a rather big coffee table. It was lightened by the sunny weather of spring New York, penetrating through the narrow to the floor windows, champagne silky curtains calmly flying on the wind.</p><p>I leaned back on the sofa, slowly sipping my coffee. It was something like 4 pm, and I wondered what Marshall was doing that minute. My thoughts returned to him the very minute I let them, recalling in my mind all the events of the past days and urging for continuation. And I honestly, couldn't help it.</p><p>I suddenly realized I hadn't called or texted Josh. We had some plans together that week, and the New York trip crashed them down, leaving nothing after it. I knew I had to tell him where I was and explain everything but somehow I had no actual desire to do that. I just didn't want to feel guilty about ruining our plans and something was telling me that that time it would've been a lot more difficult to deal with all of it.</p><p>My thoughts were interrupted by the knock on the door. I turned my head to it slowly and it repeated again a few times. I got up and checked myself in the mirror briefly, not even knowing why. Probably, it was instinct, or maybe, I just hoped that it was somebody in particular behind that door. But touching the doorknob and opening it, I saw Teala standing on my threshold with a warm smile on her lips.</p><p>'Hey' she greeted in a friendly way, her big eyes lined with long eyeliner wings studying my face. She was all ready and changed too with her long dark hair laying on her shoulders, and I had to admit that it was nice to see her. Somehow Teala came across as one of those people who are just pleasant to be around, and I couldn't deny it. 'Hope, I didn't disturb you. May I come in?'</p><p>'Yeah, sure, it's okay. Welcome,' I answered a little awkwardly for some reason and let her enter the room. She easily walked in her confident manner, and I thought that in the way she was carrying herself was surely something from Fifty, even though I couldn't say that they were alike. Perhaps, they could at least play two sides of the same coin.</p><p>'I like your room a lot but you should see Marshall's. It has a big balcony with a hella of a view' Teala sat on the edge of the bed comfortably, making herself at home and observing the room. 'Fifty chose it for him but he probably doesn't give a fuck about it so we should've given it to you' she added casually, making a small talk. She certainly wasn't a shy one and acted like we'd known each other for ages. And I have to admit that I really liked that.</p><p>'The journalist like me can't have a better room than a worldwide superstar' I chuckled, painting my lips in the mirror to finish the make-up. Despite that little detail, I was fully ready to go.</p><p>'Marshall doesn't act like a worldwide superstar' she snorted wryly, making me chortle. 'I've been with Curtis for 4 months now and I don't know Marshall that well but he's surely not the one to appreciate a good balcony'.</p><p>'I guess, I'm not the one too' I turned around to face her with a chuckle, shrugging.</p><p>'Yeah, I see that you suit each other well' Teala smirked as if thinking about something amusing, and that made me imagine things. 'How do you like working with him, though?'</p><p>'He can be an asshole' I laughed a little, leaning on the drawer near the mirror. 'But I got used to it' I added, catching myself on a sudden thought. 'I think... I like it'.</p><p>Teala cocked her head at me with a pleasant smile in response. I'd just admitted that I liked working with Marshall Mathers which I'd never said aloud before. I'd known that all in my mind but telling somebody was genuinely a new thing for me. I wondered if Marshall liked to work with me, though. Would he say "yes"?</p><p>'That's great' Teala spoke with a knowing look without pushing the topic, and I was grateful for it. 'Are you ready to go? We need to look stunning tomorrow' she changed the topic, excitement filling her voice, eyes sparkling.</p><p>'Is that party such a big deal, to begin with?' I asked not sure how I felt about dressing up and attending some huge party I didn't know anyone at. Marshall's and Fifty's presence didn't help that much.</p><p>'Of course, it is! Every party is a big deal when 50 Cent rents a hotel' Teala grinned with baby pink gloss sparkling on her lips and stood up. 'Come on, the car is waiting' she made me an impatient gesture and opened the door, going out.</p><p>I had no choice but to take my purse, drink the last drops of my coffee from a gorgeous white cup, and check my phone. In a few minutes, I was gone too.</p><p>I never really enjoyed shopping. I'd been always wearing the things I liked without having any particular style and obviously hadn't spent that much time on it. My work didn't require any specific dress code and I preferred to concentrate on writing articles than the outfit I would've written them in. Diana used to say that I'd had to be more attentive to my wardrobe and experiment but I always managed to find better things to do.</p><p>Teala, on the other hand, had a whole other vision. In New York, she knew all the brands' shops, news about new collections and spent a lot of money on clothes. She knew what was good and what to wear so she appeared to be a perfect stylist for me. No matter how uneasy I was feeling doing shopping, she definitely helped a lot.</p><p>I was standing in front of three huge full-length mirrors and observing my reflection in it. It was what seemed like an outfit number 1000 and the shop number, at least, 100, and we still were kind of hesitant about the perfect look. In the image of the reflection, I was wearing a sapphire short glittery dress with a turtleneck and bare shoulders. Black heels were a compliment to the dress along with my thoughtful face expression. It wasn't the best option from my point of view but Teala insisted for me to "at least try it on", and I had to obey.</p><p>'Look at this, my body will look really good in it. I think I've been looking for this dress for ages!' I heard Teala's excited voice behind my back, snapping me out of my thoughts, and turned around to face her.</p><p>'I do think you should pick this one. It suits you perfectly' I answered, smiling and taking a look at her wine-colored dress with long sleeves and open neckline. Reaching the middle of her thighs, it was giving her a sexy and dangerous look, appealing and magnetizing at once.</p><p>'Thank you' Teala spun around in front of the mirror to watch the fabric of the dress hugging her curves in all the right places and grinned, enjoying the view. I chuckled. 'I really like this one on you too but I don't feel like that's the one. What do you think?'</p><p>'I'm kind of tired already so this should be the one' I sighed heavily, truly exhausted from going from one shop to another. Teala was a great company and gave a lot of useful bits of advice but I guess, it just wasn't my cup of tea. Especially, all those luxurious party clothing that I didn't have a habit to wear.</p><p>'I don't like your mood' she furrowed, putting both of her hands on her chest in a sister-like severe but caring gesture and returning her smile back. 'You're beautiful and you should maximize your assets. I'm sure that there will be someone who will notice it and you'll have some fun tomorrow' Teala winked at me playfully without a big pressure, encouraging me. I smiled unwittingly and couldn't help thinking about Marshall. Could he actually enjoy looking at me all dressed up or he didn't care and that was too crazy to think about?</p><p>'But I don't know, nothing looks the way I want it to. Perhaps, this is really the best option' I glanced at myself in the mirror once more, still feeling hesitant. It surely was a good dress but it felt like not good enough, you know?</p><p>'I guess, I have some idea' Teala smirked all of a sudden, putting her finger on her lips in a sly manner. She looked like she made up a whole story in her mind but didn't plan to tell me about it. 'You'll find out soon' she added with a mysterious expression, definitely glad about her little invention.</p><p>'Okay?' I raised an eyebrow not sure what to answer. In some way, Teala reminded me of Diana but she was a lot less emotional, softer, and girlier. The one common thing about them was thinking of some unexpected ideas.</p><p>'Great' she smiled widely at me. 'Curtis texted me when we were changing, have I told you? He and Marshall should pick us up from here and we'll go have a dinner'.</p><p>'Sure, when will they come?' I asked mindlessly, coming closer and observing my lips in a matte peachy color in front of the mirror. Marshall was right about this new lipstick, it was nice. And I'd rather forget about the fact that I started to like it way more exactly because of him.</p><p>'In a few minutes, I think...' Teala mumbled, checking her phone. 'Oh, look, here they are' I heard her saying loudly, and without turning around, instantly saw two figures in the reflection of the mirror making their way to us and discussing something actively. My eyes caught Marshall's reflection in a bad habit, and when he was already not far away from us, his glance met mine.</p><p>I couldn't explain what was so unusual about looking at each other like that. His blue eyes were a little surprised, catching mine but instead of looking away, they went down to my body and reached all the way to my legs only to come back up a moment later. All of a sudden, I remembered about the dress I had on that was completely out of my style and didn't really fit me that well. But just when I thought about it, I saw a smirk appearing at the corners of Marshall's mouth. Oh Lord, what the hell was going on in that genius head of his?</p><p>'Damn, you two look fine. Are those your outfits for tomorrow's night?' Fifty's words snapped me out of the trance as he and Marshall stopped near us, and I had to get my eyes off of the mirror and turn around to face them. However, Marshall's smirk tangled my thoughts, and I could imagine a blush coloring my cheeks. It was ridiculous to realize what effect he managed to have on me lately.</p><p>'Don't be nosy, you'll see everything tomorrow' Teala told Fifty, avoiding his embrace. I was trying to look at both of them but could practically feel Marshall's intense gaze on me. I was fighting an urge to send a glance to him because that smirky expression of his could bring me nothing else but trouble.</p><p>'Okay, okay, I'll act like I haven't seen anything' Fifty chuckled, raising his hands in surrender amused with Teala's reaction. 'Let's go have a word with me for a minute. Excuse us' he added with a bit more serious tone, giving both me and Marshall an apologizing look. Teala mumbled something similar to "fine", rolling her eyes, and both of them went to the side and disappeared somewhere so we couldn't see them. Okay... And I was left with Marshall.</p><p>'Have you called...' I turned my head into his direction, meeting his eyes again and something playful in his glance in addition. I wanted to make a small talk not to be silent and ask if he'd called Denaun and Royce to ask when they were supposed to arrive the next day but Marshall didn't let me finish.</p><p>'This dress is just not it' his confident voice interrupted my question unceremoniously, and his orbs became bright blue watching my reaction. I surely didn't expect him to say it and that caught me off guard. Since when had he decided to give me advice on how I looked?</p><p>'What's wrong? You don't like it?' I asked with a light dare, touching the hem of my dress with my fingers mindlessly as if I was genuinely unpleasantly surprised to hear him saying it. As if that dress was the only thing I really wanted to wear and that wasn't me who looked all hesitant in front of the mirror.</p><p>'No, I do like it, actually' Marshall answered, licking his lips in a brief motion, causing me to get nervous in an already familiar way. Why did he do all of that? I mean, nothing in particular but at the same time, driving me insane with every detail of his, it just wasn't normal. 'I just think that it doesn't show your best sides'.</p><p>'Oh, so you know my best sides?' I cocked an eyebrow almost flirty like I had an actual right for something like that. It's just his presence was delicious and Fifty with Teala were not that far away so the moment we were sharing could've been short and rare.</p><p>'I do, in some way' he said without joking much and I saw his glance observing my face. There was something warming about it, even though I could probably think a bit more of it than I had to.</p><p>'Hard to believe' I snorted wryly, putting both of my hands on my chest. Really? Saying it right after all of those things at his house? I couldn't understand him properly. One day he pushed me away, the next one he decided to say something nice to me. As much as deep inside I liked that strange enigmatic behavior of his, sometimes all of those swings were too much to handle.</p><p>'Sounds like you want me to prove it' I heard his voice coloring with tease again and met his glance with disbelief. His eyes were just a little bit sly and playful, knew a lot of things about me that I was trying to hide, and I wanted Fifty and Teala to come back faster.</p><p>'I never said something like that' I raised my eyebrow nonchalantly, meeting his provocative move with courage.</p><p>'But it doesn't mean you don't want it' a full-size grin painted his features, and both of his hands found the pockets of his jeans. The tension between us was unbearable, at least, for me, and that was enough to make me feel uncomfortable. I was starting to think that the New York trip wasn't a good idea, was it?</p><p>'I should change into my clothes' I dismissed Marshall's comment, turning away from him to the mirror to hide my blush. I could hear him chuckle and take a few steps closer to me. I was afraid to raise my glance to meet his eyes in the reflection. Goddamn, where was everyone that minute?</p><p>'Do you need my help with the zipper?' I felt his presence right next to me, and the shiver after the touch of his hot breath at my shoulders ran through my skin. His tone was unusually soft and satin. And I felt the urge to close my eyes and let him be closer, even though I had to control myself at all costs, even though we were in the fucking shop with Teala and Fifty in the middle of New York.</p><p>'No, thank you' I answered quietly only for him to hear. 'We both remember that you are not really good with those'.</p><p>With these words I let a small smile appear on my lips and without waiting for his response, I made my way to the changing room. I could swear I heard Marshall chortling to himself but I could imagine that as well. The memory of his little trouble not that long time ago lingered in my mind without my permission.</p><p>Fifty and Teala returned just as I finished changing. It happened to be, they had some heated argument and spent a great amount of time, solving it. I bet they could've kept going but Fifty had a table for four of us reserved so they had no choice but come to an agreement. Teala changed too and we took a car to the restaurant.</p><p>It was almost dark outside when we finally reached it. I'd never been so hungry in my life before and Teala giggled, hearing me saying it. Oh well, I wasn't prepared for those kinds of shopping adventures and honestly, I didn't want to make it a part of my routine at all.</p><p>The meals were served and I wished I could remember at least one name of it. High-class cuisine wasn't something I wasn't a fan of and Marshall was definitely on my side on it. In Detroit, I'd never seen him eating something like that and it just seemed like a natural thing. But regardless of it, the food still was nice and Teala with Fifty was a great company.</p><p>The whole evening I spent sitting beside Marshall. I could feel his glance at me but constantly was trying to concentrate my attention on the conversation between the four of us. The next day everything should've become easier for me with the arrival of Royce and Denaun so I just had to be patient and act normal and indifferent. The only way I could save myself from the complete drowning in the ocean with the name of Marshall Mathers. It didn't even matter that I was aware of how impossible was my rescue for real.</p><p>We arrived at the hotel when it was almost midnight. Marshall went straight to his room to make calls to his daughters, and I chatted with Teala in the lobby for a while. Soon the tiredness came back to haunt me, and I apologized and escaped to my room too. That day had to be one of the craziest in a while and all I wanted to do was peacefully falling asleep.</p><p>However, it wasn't that simple. Switching the light on and entering my room, I saw a big box laying on my bed with a small note at the top of it. It was from Teala and said something like that:</p><p>Dear Ella,<br/>I hope, you don't mind it but I chose this dress for you myself when you didn't pick anything. I can see it on you, it should make the perfect look. Please, let me know if you like it.<br/>                                                           x Teala</p><p>I opened the box and felt a smile creeping on my lips. The silver fabric of the dress was shiny, perfect for the parties, and somehow I knew it would have fit. It was short with beautiful tinself detailing and matching shoes which made the whole outfit not too fancy but still gorgeous in its own way.</p><p>Yeah, that was undoubtful. Teala knew a lot about those things and I knew nothing so it was only right for her to pick something for me. My only true concern was Marshall's reaction and no matter how many times I was convincing myself not to care about it, I terribly failed every time. Maybe, that was why I didn't really want to go to that party.</p><p>The sound of the ringing phone vanished my thoughts and I glanced away from the box to find Paul's name on the screen. Pressing the button to answer, I thought about the possible reasons for that late call but didn't find any suitable ones.</p><p>'Hello, Ella, I'm sorry, did I wake you up?' Paul's voice on the other side of the line sounded as business-like and polite as always and I wondered if that it was done on purpose every time or just a natural thing of his.</p><p>'No, it's okay. We are just back from the dinner with Curtis and Teala' I answered reassuringly, making it seem like not a big deal.</p><p>'Good, I wanted to ask you for a favor' Paul said seriously and I could hear that he was in a hurry. Well, okay?</p><p>'Sure, what can I do?'</p><p>'I was trying to reach out to Marshall to speak with him on the phone but he doesn't pick it up. I wanted you to go to his room and ask him to call me back because I need to sort out some things with him as soon as possible. Will it be alright?' Paul asked carefully as if he could frighten me with that question. And I bet that it was connected to our relationship with Marshall right after the incident at his house. Paul surely knew a lot more than I'd thought he had.</p><p>'Okay, I'll try' I agreed simply, deep inside feeling a little uneasy going to Marshall's room. I'd already had an opportunity that day to be convinced that Marshall was a professional in messing with my head. 'If he let me in' I added half-jokingly not to sound nervous. I was almost ready to get a shower and go to sleep but now I had to gather my courage and go straight to Marshall's room. What could I say? I loved my work.</p><p>'Be sure he will' Paul ended the call, leaving me to think what that meant. Okay, it seemed like everybody knew something about me and Marshall.</p><p>I left my room with the hope that my errand would've lasted a few minutes. I would've just knocked on the door, told Marshall Paul's message, and gone away as if nothing had happened. Lord only knew that it appeared to be not quite exactly as I thought.</p><p>I knocked on the door a few times and waited for a moment. At first, no one responded but as I raised my hand to knock again, I heard Marshall's irritated voice answering:</p><p>'Who the fuck is there?' well, it seemed like he wasn't ready for some guests. Marvelous, I thought, just marvelous.</p><p>'It's Ella' I pronounced loudly, making a grimace to myself as if anyone could see me. But before I could think of something else, the door swang open, revealing Marshall's toned figure. Well, here we go.</p><p>'What a surprise, haven't seen you in a while' a sarcasm painted his tone in a familiar way, contrasting with a mocking glance of his eyes as he looked straight at me, making it hard for me to function. His mood switched from irritated to playful one literally in a blink of an eye. 'What you, came to spend a night at my place as usual?' he added smugly, putting one of his hands on the hip and acting annoyed.</p><p>'Oh sure, here is the famous hospitality' I rolled my eyes at Marshall, spotting his smirky expression from under my eyelashes. 'So, you were waiting? Already prepared a bed for me to sleep in?' my voice was innocent and full of sarcasm. Sometimes with Marshall it was hard to keep myself from doing it.</p><p>'I only have one' he bit his cheek not to grin fully, blue eyes laughing at me. He was way quieter when we were together with Fifty and Teala, cracking just a few jokes at me and now he was in a full mood for banter.</p><p>'No, thanks' I snorted with a fake annoyance, keeping my smile from becoming prominent. 'Paul called and he wanted me to tell you that you have to pick up your phone. He has some business to talk about'.</p><p>'Yeah, weak excuse but come in' he chuckled, stepping away to let me in just like I'd done in my apartment earlier that day, and I caught myself on a deja vu. Deep inside I knew I had to refuse and go back to mine but all I did was silently entering his room.</p><p>Marshall's place happened to be a larger one in dark tones with a spare room and a door to the balcony. It welcomed me with a few things of Marshall laying here and there, reminding me how I got used to some of the details of his.</p><p>My glance instantly caught a grey hoodie on the back of the chair and a can of Diet Coke standing on the table next to it. I would've bet a grand that there was a Red Bull hiding somewhere in the minibar, and my attention caught a notebook with some CDs that were laying right on the coffee table. His white watch could be found right on the top of the drawers next to the pair of headphones. Predictable.</p><p>'My phone battery was dead for some time and I forgot to charge it. I've been writing' Marshall spoke as I entered the room and he closed the door behind me. I felt kind of trapped in that situation and all I had to do was thinking of escaping soon. And hopefully, with great success.</p><p>'I see' I mumbled, focusing my eyes on his notebook full of tiny letters that were forming words and phrases in the weird patterns. 'But you should call Paul as soon as possible since apparently, it's an urgent thing'.</p><p>'Okay, wait here, I'll go call him' Marshall nodded in a serious way, taking my words without any humor, and making his way to another room. I wondered why he even wanted me to stay when the only logical thing was to leave. That thought got me standing awkwardly in the middle of Marshall's room, not knowing what to do.</p><p>After a few minutes going back and forth and trying not to listen to Marshall's voice on the phone with Paul, I stopped near the balcony door and saw it being opened. Without much to do, I decided to go to the balcony and look at the view because something was telling me that it had to be a long conversation.</p><p>A pleasant but a little cold night wind met my skin as I stepped outside, making a deep slow inhale and feeling all the tiredness from that day getting ahold of me. I saw a small couch standing at the side but didn't sit. Instead, I walked to the railing and caught myself on a thought that I definitely hadn't had such adventures in a while.</p><p>The New York didn't sleep. The gorgeous picture of the living city lights was a breathtaking sight, making me feel tiny and insignificant right in the middle of the world. I thought that somewhere in between those buildings it was too easy to get lost. And how weird it is that sometimes we happened to be in one place with someone when we could be anywhere else. For example, I was in New York on the balcony of Eminem's hotel room. How crazy was that?</p><p>It made me think about Jake all of a sudden. I realized that only some short period of time ago I was very eager to know where he was and now it seemed not that important. I mean, important in some way but not like that. How do those things even happen?</p><p>I'd told Teala earlier that day that I enjoyed working with Marshall and I did, it was true. I couldn't lie, I even enjoyed the fact that he decided to let me stay for a bit without any reason. It didn't even matter that I felt like it was better to leave. It's just everything with him was scary and intriguing, so interesting and exciting at the same time. Nothing that had happened with Jake could compare to it, and I knew how unfortunate was to realize that fact. I shouldn't have even thought about anything like that.</p><p>'Enjoying the view?' I heard Marshall's low velvet tone behind my back and turned around in a surprise, spotting him coming closer to me with a half-smirk on his face. I shivered from the sound of his voice and the feeling of his presence not far away from me. Especially, after all those thoughts about him.</p><p>'Yeah, I like it a lot, do you?' I answered softly when he stopped beside me near the railing a little closer that I expected. The possibilities of that closeness fucked up my mind.</p><p>'Nothing like Detroit, huh?' he let himself a cunning grin as if testing my power to be in the reach of the hand to him, knowing that in that balcony we were all alone. His grey T-Shirt was showing me his tattoos that I hadn't had a chance to study closely before and I let myself a few probably too long glances at them, afraid to be noticed.</p><p>'No' I nodded, letting myself a small smile, already knowing where it was going. The conversation between us felt unnaturally warm and I loved the way his blue eyes sparkled on the small amount of light. What did Teala say about him not appreciating the balcony? At that minute I couldn't even recall that phrase.</p><p>'But I'd prefer Detroit's night view to this one for sure' Marshall proved my thoughts, licking his bottom lip. He was looking at the city in front of us, from time to time giving me brief side glances. We still were playing in a little hide-and-seek with our eyes and I could feel I was losing slowly.</p><p>'That's what I thought about' I chuckled, trying not to meet his eyes and played with my fingers. I knew that he turned his head to look at me openly, though.</p><p>'Wanna sit down?' Marshall asked all of a sudden, nodding at the small couch that I'd spotted earlier. His expression was clear and calm with just a little bit of something unreadable in it. Everything felt out of character and I was thinking intensely if I should have run or stayed forever. 'I have a room service with some sweets coming. I could show my hospitality once more and share' his grin transformed in a half-smile, attracting me with its rarity.</p><p>'Thanks a lot' I answered with a small smile a little taken aback by his sudden proposal to prolong whatever hanging out session we were having. I started to overthink things and that just wasn't for good. 'But I think I should go, it was a long day' I added uncertainly, avoiding his eyes.</p><p>'Oh, come on, afraid of being alone with me? Date guy won't approve?' Marshall asked with a taunt in his voice, making me seem childish and foolish. A daring smirk appeared on his lips again and I wasn't sure if he was just having fun or actually cared a little.</p><p>'It's not about him...' I tried to disagree weakly, not finding a better excuse. Why did he keep bringing up Josh every time? It seemed like it'd been his favorite topic since the day I'd decided to go on a date.</p><p>'Then what is it about?' Marshall demanded strongly but calmly with no anger in his tone. His eyes were looking at me intensely, deeply on the small amount of light, and I felt that it wasn't that warm on the East Coast yet. I had no words to answer, I couldn't tell him that I was really afraid of spending time alone because somehow I became so needy to his presence and didn't even realize that. Fuck, I even felt like never calling Josh again only to feel his body next to me on that balcony.</p><p>'You are so persistent with asking me all those things' I pronounced with my voice tight but still a little tremulous, instead of answering the question. 'Especially, about the guy I go on dates with' I continued watching Marshall taking in my eyes and heavy breathing. We were close but not close enough and standing there, right beside him, I dreamt about his scent. 'And I wonder why because we certainly aren't even friends, to begin with' I looked into his eyes attentively, trying to catch whatever emotion was hiding there, understand if I should've said what I wanted to. But there was no clue so I decided I should've.</p><p>'If it wasn't you, I would probably think that you sound jealous, Mr Mathers' I said confidently, challenging him, watching the frown appear on his face as if he didn't expect that but wasn't caught off guard. There could be a mocking from him or a big explosion, I didn't care. I just wanted to know the truth.</p><p>'What if I am jealous?'</p><p>Marshall's silvery tone made my heart skip a beat and I felt something inside me trembling. I couldn't believe that even though his face was serious, even though it didn't even sound like a joke, even though I wanted to hear that more than anything. Marshall Mathers couldn't be jealous because of me, I should've come back from that ruthless fantasy.</p><p>"What if" doesn't mean you are' I answered holding the gaze of his blue eyes, and made a step back from the railing. I had to go, that day was becoming too hard to continue it. I promised myself to escape and I had to.</p><p>'I'll see you tomorrow at the party' I added in a moment, reaching the balcony door when he didn't answer or move. In some way, I was glad he didn't because I wasn't ready to hear something more than "what if" that evening.</p><p>Marshall's figure on the background of the night city seemed too good to believe in it, and something gentle painted his features, watching me leave. Knowing that any word of his could make me stay and probably lead to some bad consequences, I didn't give him a chance to say something. I just left his hotel room like I'd never been in it. Making my way to my own room, I loved and hated Paul at the same time: his little errand just gave me a perfect reason not to sleep all night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey you, a new chapter👀 I'm going a little bit crazy with these long-ass chapters. At some point in editing them, I start to question my purpose in this life lol. I tried to make them shorter and post more often but I guess I just can't write short ones, they appear to be not wholesome enough for me. So, I hope that you don't mind it like this.</p><p>Please, leave comment or like to express your opinion on the chapter and encourage me to post frequently, continue the story. I always appreciate the feedback you give me, it's the biggest inspiration of mine❤️ Huge thanks and love for you all!</p><p>P. S. I don't know, maybe you'd like to check out my Em and Rihanna fic "Distraction" on my page, I try to update it often too.</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Crazy</h2></a>
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  <em>Crazy insane or insane crazy? When I say "Hussein", you say: "Shady". </em><br/>
<em>My views ain't changed, still inhumane, wait. Arraigned two days late, the date's today, hang me!</em>
</p><p>I don't why I thought that checking out "The Eminem Show" the night I left Marshall's room would've been a good idea. I mean, it wasn't just about sleep because my tiredness got a hold of me right after listening to the album, and I had a pretty good amount of rest. It's just it really got me thinking about things and Marshall in general. In addition to everything that happened on his balcony.</p><p>I didn't notice how I started liking Eminem's music more and more. I guess I could say I was studying Marshall through it, finding out things about him that usually make you uncomfortable to ask and the further I was down that road, the better I could understand his character. Maybe, that's why I was replaying "The Eminem Show" on my pocket CD player for the second time before the party: I just couldn't get enough of him in my thoughts.</p><p>The party was supposed to start pretty late that evening. But we didn't have much planned so while Marshall and Fifty were busy attending the studio, Teala took me sightseeing, and the first half of the day we spent in a pretty fun way.</p><p>I have to say that I felt kind of out of place because Marshall and I didn't have a chance to see each other before the party. After the whole "What if I am jealous?" thing, I didn't know how to act around him and the fact that I could've faced him only late at night with so many people around got me feeling nervous the whole day.</p><p>Royce and Denaun arrived in the morning but we didn't see each other too because they needed some rest after the flight and I was out with Teala. But, knowing about their presence at the party was a huge relief and I had to admit I actually missed those fools. Apparently, 50 Cent's party had to be a big deal for real because they wouldn't have shut up about it on the phone as well.</p><p>With that being said, that evening I was sitting on the old-fashioned couch in my hotel room all dressed-up, waiting for the clock to show me the numbers I was waiting for and feeling my heart fluttering from the anticipation. The one thing that I couldn't figure out was why I felt so nervous before that party. It got to the point where it was almost ridiculous.</p><p>Oh, foolish girl, of course, it was because of Marshall. He basically said he was jealous and it couldn't be true, it just couldn't be. From all of the things in the world, it was the last one that I could've expected. Still, the thought of it, the glance of his blue eyes that minute kept popping in my mind for who knows what time that day, sending a pleasant sensation inside me. Oh Lord, I was screwed.</p><p>I stood up, sighing heavily, and walked to the mirror. The dress Teala picked for me wasn't that fancy but it looked fine on me without being too tight, the silver fabric making my eyes sparkle in the reflection. I didn't curl my hair, it had its natural waves to it, brushing my shoulders gently, and the heels on my feet were adding just a little bit of grace and danger to the whole look. It was all me, nothing completely changed. All it did, as Teala said, was maximizing my assets.</p><p>I turned around to look at the back of the dress which was all bare. I smiled softly, suddenly realizing that it actually looked very good in the mirror, and thanked Teala for her help in my mind once more. Applying the lipstick a moment after, I looked at the clock to find the numbers I'd been waiting for. Now it was really time to go.</p><p>The party had to be on the first floor of the hotel in an area that was more like a club. It had a huge dance floor with booths and tables around. Looking up, you could see a few floors with balconies above it, making the ceiling as high as the sky and giving you a feeling of your insignificance in that gorgeous place full of people. The lights were already off when I walked in, hitting my eyes with the bright light of moving spotlights and making me shiver with the loud sound of the music. Raising my head to meet with some glances on the balconies and feeling the atmosphere of alcohol and weed, I thought that Teala didn't lie: 50 Cent knew how to make a big party.</p><p>I felt kind of lost at first, sending my glance to look for any familiar faces. Most certainly, I happened to be a little bit late. Everybody had to be at the booth that Fifty reserved for all of us so all I had to do was to find them. To think about it, it was the last time I could just turn around and go away, not feeling anxious about my outfit and getting rid of that annoying heavy feeling in my chest that was all about Marshall. But I had to remind myself that first of all, it was my work and I had to put all my emotions aside no matter how hard it would've been.</p><p>A couple of minutes of searching had its results. In one of the biggest booths on the party, a dance floor away from me, I could see the whole crew I temporarily became a part of. Curtis Jackson, the host of the party, was standing near the booth and talking to everybody about something actively with Teala at his side. I inhaled and exhaled once to calm my nerves and made my way to them.</p><p>From the distance, I could already see Royce and Denaun arguing about something and it made me smile to myself, recalling that hilarious habit of them and enjoying the sound of my heels clicking on the floor with every step I was making. Some glances turned in my direction with the interest that couldn't be described as a surprise or the sign of being impressed. It was more like a silent approval but when I focused on Marshall's figure sitting beside Royce, Denaun, and a few guys I didn't know, I thought that frankly speaking, those glances didn't even matter.</p><p>'So, I'm hearing now everyone saying that 50 Cent knows how to make parties in New York and I'm surprised someone could doubt Pimpin' Curly' I heard Fifty saying with a smug grin followed by a laugh from everyone in the booth. He was looking all good in the suit that night, holding Teala in her burgundy dress by her waist. I'd heard about that Rick Ross beef and chuckled too, reaching the booth just as the laugh died down.</p><p>'Oh, look who is here! I thought I would have to go to look for you. You look crazy gorgeous, though!' Teala noticed my figure first, turning around to face me with a big warm smile and shiny eyes. Whatever she said, I knew I wasn't even as half as good-looking as she was but I guess it wasn't the point anyway. I could feel that she was sincere with those words and the excitement on her face wasn't fake at all. It wasn't something you really expect from people you barely know, was it?</p><p>'Damn, Ella, you look hella fine today!' I heard Denaun exclaiming with big eyes before I could answer anything as everyone in the booth directed their glances to me. Oh, no, the attention...</p><p>'Literally the first smart thing you said today, Porter. Pick up your jaw from the floor, though. She ain't your concern tonight' Royce commented with a sarcastic grin, sending me a wink and making me blush a little. No secret he was talking about Marshall so I just couldn't hold myself from looking at him anymore and turned my head to find those blue eyes already set on me.</p><p>He wasn't stunned and speechless like they show it in romantic movies. To be fair, I didn't even change that much for the night. It's just when I found his glance, maybe for the first time between us, I could feel that he was the only one in the room, and that feeling was destructive. Marshall was studying me intensely, somehow shamelessly, not even trying to hide it as if he had a right to do so. Something in his features was telling me he liked what he saw and even though he didn't say anything, he didn't take off his eyes of me even for a minute. The blue orbs of them were magnetizing, giving me just a spark of appreciation I was begging for. And that spark was more precious than any other compliment I could've possibly heard that night.</p><p>'Thank you, folks, I've missed you actually' I answered gratefully, giving both Denaun and Royce a smile and a nod to Teala. They introduced me to three guys in the booth I didn't know, the members of "G-Unit": Lloyd Banks, Tony Yayo, and Young Buck. They appeared to be a little shy, shaking my hand, and I chortled at the contrast of their tough images as thugs and awkward greetings.</p><p>'If everyone's here, let's get to it with drinks and go dance. I ain't inviting any boring asses to my party' Fifty made a fake frown, causing everyone to chuckle again. I just loved his attitude.</p><p>'Ella, I'm asking you for a dance with me. Ain't no way I'm looking at any other chick tonight!' Denaun stood up from his place, reaching a hand for me in a gentleman gesture, G-Unit hyping him up with "Come on, buddy, go for it" in a teasing manner. I doubt he knew how adorable he looked that minute.</p><p>'No, no, no, Porter, sit down and watch in silence. Ella's gonna dance with me' Royce stood up too and I could tell it was more to mock Denaun than actually to get me to agree to dance. I didn't know what was going on so I just watched in silence.</p><p>'Ooooh, there is a competition here. Should I jump in?' Lloyd Banks chuckled, raising his eyebrow, and I caught Marshall's stare at him. It wasn't angry or anything like that, it was just obvious he wasn't pleased with Banks taking part in it as if the joke was allowed only for Royce and Denaun. I was literally lost in what to do and answer until I saw Teala whispering something in Fifty's ear.</p><p>'Okay, okay, enough of it. Shut up and wait in line. I'm the host today so Ella will dance with me' Curtis Jackson pronounced in the voice that required no argument and I almost gasped in surprise. All I saw was Marshall's frown when Fifty sent a judgmental look at him. But Marshall didn't say anything so when I met his blue eyes again, I could see a hint of unfamiliar irritation growing there. God, he could say only one word and I would've answered "no" to everyone in that fucking building, did he know that?</p><p>I decided not to argue or say anything because it was just all hectic, making me confused. I had to say also that it didn't really matter to me who to dance with as long as Marshall kept silent. He was watching all of that with no movement, a deep frown on his expression as if he was intensely thinking about something. I guess it was just too unreal for him to invite me so I nodded to Fifty, catching Teala's encouraging glance. Something was weird about it too.</p><p>'Em, beware, you're gonna be the last in that line ' I heard Royce saying with a chortle when Fifty grabbed my hand and we headed to the dance floor.</p><p>'Man, shut the fuck up' was the response of the annoying low voice I knew too well. I wished I didn't hear it because it didn't help my mood at all. Well, maybe, it was simple and Marshall just didn't want to dance with me?</p><p>The dance floor was full of people. Fifty led me not very far from the booth and took my hand, putting one of his on my waist in a careful gesture. He had a great, very charismatic personality and the confidence he radiated was something very impressive. He looked very good in that dark blue suit that night that ironically suited him just as good as the big shirts and jeans he was wearing all the time. I wondered how Marshall would've looked in the formal clothing. It was so not him that I doubt I'd have seen it. But the fuck I was thinking about him again?</p><p>'I can bet all my money on the fact that Em is jealous as fuck right now' Fifty spoke with a knowing grin on his lips as we were swaying to the song, making me raise my head at him in surprise. 'So you don't have to worry that much, he'll invite you until the end of the night for sure'.</p><p>'What are you talking about?' I asked, feeling myself freaking out over the things I'd heard him pronounce. I thought I wasn't that obvious with my real mood.</p><p>'Well, I have eyes, don't I?' he answered, looking at me with his almost mentoring glance. At things like that, he was surely way smarter than me. 'Besides, I've been talking to Dre on the phone the other day. He told me about his trip to Detroit and how he saw something going on between the two of you. Royce and Denaun can't stop talking about it. Teala thinks the same'.</p><p>'Oh, so you all are one big gossip club here?' I cocked an eyebrow at him, not being able to get angry or frustrated. It just seemed a little funny for some reason no matter how strange it was to discuss it.</p><p>'We are family, what can I say?' Fifty shrugged nonchalantly, not even a note of embarrassment on his features. I don't think he'd ever felt truly embarrassed about something, it's just the way he was. 'Family keeps no secrets from each other. And when we see that a certain member of us that has been through a lot meets a nice woman, we feel like it's our business too. You know what I mean?'</p><p>'I think I do, even though I don't understand what it has to do with me, to be honest' I sighed heavily, lowering my gaze as we continued dancing. The high ceiling above the whole party was making everything a little surreal, even close to movie-like. 'I and Eminem have not the best relationship ever to even talk about it. I doubt that he likes me that way'.</p><p>'But do you like him?' Fifty asked all of a sudden, making my heartbeat fastening at the question. Oh, Fifty, of course, I did...</p><p>'I don't think...'</p><p>'Okay, I see you do' Fifty interrupted my weak attempt to argue straight away with a smirk on his face, making me blush. Okay, it was stupid to deny. 'Em's just stubborn, you know? He's been through some tough times and his relationships with women were always crazy. But I see that there is something between you two. Be sure, he didn't like that I invited you and that little word from Banks. He just doesn't want to admit that'.</p><p>'I don't know, it's honestly hard for me to imagine the things you're saying' I looked at Fifty openly with just a little bit of sadness on my features that was just a small part of everything uncertain connected to Marshall bothering me. 'I guess I'd rather we didn't talk about it, okay?'</p><p>'Oh, girl, don't be like that' Fifty cocked his head on one side at me with a soft furrow as if talking to a child. 'You'll see I was right. I'm always right about things like that' a small smug smirk painted his lips, making me nod in agreement weakly as we continued dancing.</p><p>My eyes found our booth from Fifty's shoulder to see everyone wrapped up in the conversations and laughing about something I had no idea about. Only one pair of eyes from that booth was looking back at me as if feeling my stare. The glance made my fingers grasp Fifty's shoulder a little tighter, recognizing the kind of nervousness that appeared in my stomach after finding it. That kind of fleeting connection for some reason was thrilling so I had to look away to keep myself calm and steady. I just hoped I could survive that night.</p><p>We came back to the booth after a couple of songs and took seats to drink some cocktails, chat for a while. Marshall was nowhere to be seen and I was afraid to ask about him so I was just trying to enjoy the evening talking to all the guys. G-Unit crew appeared to be very funny and good with me so that occupied my thoughts for a while even though from time to time, I was searching for Marshall in the crowd.</p><p>'Okay, Ella, it's my turn to dance with you' Denaun told me in the fakest serious voice possible, making me chuckle at his dorkiness. 'No, Royce, shut up this time. You ain't ruining it!' he added almost passionately, spotting Royce opening his mouth to comment something.</p><p>'Okay, okay, I will, it's not a problem' I laughed at both of them along with Yayo, Buck, and Banks. 'Just give me a minute. I'll go to the bathroom and we'll dance'.</p><p>Denaun nodded with a victorious smile, saying something like "See, asshole?" to Royce, and I headed to the bathroom. I needed to check my make up and just be alone for a moment. Looked like none of my foolish expectations were working that night and I just had to get over it and thank for Marshall not being in front of me all the time. It just made things easier to handle even though all of it felt bitter. The one detail I couldn't figure out was why he was staring at me like that. Or maybe, I was imagining, creating something in my head that was just an illusion. Damn everybody around for developing that illusion too. It wasn't right.</p><p>I exited the bathroom after looking at myself in the mirror for a few long minutes and completely forgetting about the make-up. Though, when I started to head to the booth through the dance floor, I gasped from surprise as a slim figure of a tall dark-skinned man with an arrogant grin on his face blocked my way, starting talking:</p><p>'Where you going, babe? All alone here?'</p><p>His voice sounded completely clear which gave me a sign that he wasn't very drunk but something in his features was unpleasant, making me feel tense under his gaze. Damn it, I didn't need any adventures of that type.</p><p>'Please, don't block my way, I'm not interested in meeting someone' I answered as politely as I could, trying not to look at the guy. I never knew how to handle those situations properly and anxiety started to grow in me slowly but surely, feeling that the guy could be actually dangerous.</p><p>'But look, dear, I'm interested' he grinned at me again in a sloppy manner, not moving. The guy didn't plan to give up that easily and I understood that all I could do was just escape, no talks would've helped there.</p><p>'I don't think that you know what "no" means' I pronounced, inhaling and without waiting for his response, tried to go past him. Though, instantly I felt a strong grip on my elbow. Oh no...</p><p>'Listen, babe, no one says "no" to me, you have to understand' he turned me around to face him and that unpleasant grin of his remained on his lips like a mock. The grip on my elbow became stronger and I felt a hollow ache there, making fear embracing me with no ideas on what to do. The music was pretty loud and because of the small amount of light barely anyone could see what was happening.</p><p>'Let me go!' I said as loudly as I could, looking right at him, hearing my voice trembling. Oh Lord, no, I hated it, I hated all of it.</p><p>'You don't understand, babe. You're going...' he started irritatingly.</p><p>I didn't understand why he stumbled on the continuation until his words were cut short with the sound of the third voice appearing behind my back. I didn't have to turn around to know who was the owner.</p><p>'She told you to let her go' the low strong severe tone that pronounced it was Marshall's and I immediately felt my arm free from the grip as the guy's threatening expression in front of me turned into surprised, completely coward-like. I rubbed my elbow, predicting a bruise there, and stepping back, my spine was met by Marshall's hard chest.</p><p>'Oh, shit, Em, is this your girl? I didn't know that' the guy started bubbling with a clear realization that he fucked up written on his face. Fear appeared on his features that had been so confident just a minute earlier and I had to suppress a snort at it. Disgusting.</p><p>'And I didn't know you were such an asshole, Cash' Marshall answered with anger prominent in his voice, and I felt his arm circling my waist protectively, putting me closer to his chest. I felt nothing more than fear just a moment earlier but with his touch, it all turned into a feeling of safety and I let myself a deep exhale, stealing a glance at Marshall's defined features and deep scowl. His blue eyes seemed to have a flame in it which I had never seen before.</p><p>
  <em>Well, who knew? He was protecting me.</em>
</p><p>'Em, dawg, I'm sorry, listen, I didn't know it was your girl. I would've never even talked to her' the guy mumbled, raising his hands in the defensive gesture, watching Marshall's movements.</p><p>'Well, you better <em>know</em> now because if I ever see you near her again, I'll make sure you won't leave the building safe and sound' Marshall's tone was cold and filled with rage as I could feel his breath heavy but the way his arm was wrapped around me was nothing but careful and gentle. It wasn't the right moment to notice our proximity but I just couldn't ignore how he was holding me. If there was any danger in that world, it seemed nonexistent while I was near Marshall.</p><p>'I heard you, Em. It's all good, I'm disappearing' the guy said with an awkward grin full of cowardice, shaking his head as if trying to convince Marshall he wasn't even guilty. 'My apologies, that came out wrong, I'm not myself when I'm a little high' he added, talking to me, and I felt like erasing that whole moment from my memory. The existence of that guy, specifically.</p><p>He turned around, taking one more guilty glance at Marshall, and hurried to make his way through the crowd to the booth where his crew was already waiting for him. Apparently, they saw the scene because they were waving at the guy to go where they were, cursing. I'd watched him moving for as long as it was possible until I felt an attentive stare on me and turned my head to meet Marshall's worried eyes.</p><p>'How are you feeling? Did he hurt you?' he spoke in an unbelievably soft tone, the lines of his face showing me the touches of smoldering anger. He didn't make any movement to let me go so we were standing just like that, me raising my head a little to meet his glance, and he, studying me.</p><p>'No, it's okay' I rubbed my elbow again, not feeling any pain anymore. However, there could be a bruise the next day, I wasn't sure. 'Thank you, you were just in time' I added quietly, trying to ignore the way he was looking at me and the goosebumps his touch was creating.</p><p>'You sure?' he asked again, touching my arm gently to see if I wasn't lying, and I nodded barely in agreement, freeing myself from his grip. I wouldn't have lied if I'd said that I was a little numb in front of him and staying in his arms was starting to feel awkward. Maybe, it was the situation, maybe just the fact that I'd never seen him being so caring around me. 'Royce is waving at us from the booth with a confused face. Should we go back to them?' he added, looking past my shoulder and I turned around to see Royce with suspicion on his expression. I guess he saw that something happened but didn't know what exactly.</p><p>'No, please, don't tell them' I faced Marshall again and hearing my own tone turning into a pleading one. 'Guys will get upset and they can do something bad, I don't want it. And I don't feel like facing anyone right now' I said, trying to convince him. I knew that answering questions was something I wasn't ready to handle that day, I'd already decided that I just wanted to forget about it like about some awful nightmare.</p><p>'Okay' Marshall agreed, nodding at me, and I could see him fighting an urge to argue. But I was thankful for that answer. 'Then we could go somewhere or just dance here for a while to make it seem like I just wanted to invite you' he offered, looking at me expectedly. "To make it seem like"... Did it have to sound so fiction-like? Well, I didn't want to talk with anyone that minute so I agreed on the second option. Before I knew, I was close to him again but that was a whole different feeling.</p><p>The one entirely cinematic thing about that moment was that the song changed to a slower one as we decided to dance. It wasn't a completely slow dance type of track and certainly wasn't that romantic but not some club banger either. Marshall put both of his hands on my waist, making me step closer and lay both of my hands on his chest. I didn't know how it happened that I hid my face in the crook of his neck, feeling my own fingers trembling and his hot breath somewhere near my ear. As the music was playing, all I wanted was to close my eyes and not to think about anything, just enjoy his presence as if it was something we were used to. As if it wasn't to "make it seem like he wanted to invite me". As if he felt the same as I did.</p><p>'You know, the only positive thing about it all is that I don't have to wait in a goddamn line to dance with you' I heard Marshall pronouncing quietly as the thumb of his hand touched the skin on my bare spine, drawing circles on it slowly and making me shiver from the soft touch. Damn it, what was he doing?</p><p>'I didn't know you cared about that hilarious line at all' I answered with a note of bitter sarcasm in the black fabric of his tight shirt that was right under the jacket. If I would've let my fingers travel under it, I'd had a chance to feel his body closer to me. But my breath was too unsteady for that.</p><p>'I never care about things like that' he reassured me softly and that sounded a little cunningly as I could almost see a smug smirk on his lips. 'But I don't think I would be able to sit still for too long when you look so fucking beautiful tonight' Marshall pronounced in his completely normal tone and the hot breath of his brushed my ear. His presence was addictive and I was angry at myself for that.</p><p>'So, does it mean that you like the dress now?' I said with a mocking irony instead of "thank you", parting from his chest and finding his eyes. Something in them was similar to that glance on the balcony of his hotel room just a day before: way too focused on me with passion. But saying all of that? Why?</p><p>'Well, I'm not a fan of clothes in general' he smirked teasingly, making me crimson red to my ears. 'But I enjoy how this one looks on you a lot'. A lot... Did I hear him right?</p><p>'Thank you, I'm so not used to it, though' I murmured, lowering my glance at his chest, admitting the truth. Surely, I wasn't used to wearing that type of clothes but what I really meant by that phrase was that I wasn't used to hearing something like that from him. And I didn't know how to behave.</p><p>'I know' he answered, watching me. For some reason, both of us stopped swaying to the music, even though he still had me in his arms, fingers tracing my bare spine gently. His glance was on my face, now completely serious as if somehow Marshall knew what I meant for real. The tension between us turned into music playing in the background before he spoke again. 'But that's not the main point. I wouldn't be able to sit still not only because you look beautiful tonight' he added softly, basically forcing me to look up at him, hearing it. His blue eyes were sincere and careful, gentle in the soft blue darkness of the dance floor, making me lose a sense of whatever was happening around. And I didn't mind that feeling.</p><p>
  <em>'But also because of the whole night, I wasn't able to get rid of the thought that I can't stand a picture of you dancing with someone else'.</em>
</p><p>I don't think I heard him right. I don't think I could hear at all for that moment. Those words leaving his lips created that feeling in my chest that I couldn't describe, using the best dictionary in the world. The song we were dancing to ended, replaced by some fast and energetic track, but none of us made a move. Marshall's expression sharpened by the shadows created by the spotlights, waiting for my answer. But I was scared.</p><p>'Hey, Marshall!'</p><p>Before I could say something we heard someone saying loudly at Marshall and me, waving in our direction and coming closer to us through the crowd. Marshall turned his head away from me, frowning, probably displeased by the interruption. In a moment, we saw some man from Marshall's camp I'd spotted a few times before. I didn't know his name but I knew he was helping with Eminem's producer deals in New York.</p><p>'What's wrong, man? I'm busy' Marshall answered with slight irritation as the man came closer to us, refusing to let me go even for an inch. I avoided the man's surprised glance.</p><p>'Sorry for interrupting but there is this producer I've told you about. He came to Fifty's party to meet you so it wouldn't be cool to ignore him like that, you know...'</p><p>'Tell him to speak to Paul on the phone or schedule a meeting with him tomorrow. I can't go now' Marshall interrupted him with annoyance prominent in his tone. I would have lied saying that I felt my heart fluttering on that. Damn, he was refusing some producer he probably wanted to work with to stay with me. How was it even possible?</p><p>'No, no, you should go' I intervened in the conversation, looking at Marshall reassuringly. As much as I wanted us to keep talking, I knew the moment was ruined and I didn't want that producer deal to be ruined too. 'I'm fine already, I'll go back to guys' I looked at him a little bit nervously, releasing myself from his arms for the second time that evening. Well, maybe, it was for the better. Who knows?</p><p>'Okay, but we'll talk later' he stated, not even asking if I wanted to. I was afraid of that talk and at the same time, I knew I desired it the most. 'Be safe' he added softly, receiving a grateful and a bit hesitant nod from me. I turned around and made my way through the crowd, my mind full of obsessive thoughts.</p><p>When I reached the booth, everyone started asking where I'd been for so long but Royce helped me out, switching the topic. He gave me somehow a knowing glance and didn't talk about Marshall, even though I was pretty sure that everything was written on my face. Marshall's words were ringing in my ears and I couldn't hear the music in the club anymore. Even when I went dancing with Denaun, as I'd promised earlier, I was still mentally there, in Marshall's arms, hearing that mind-blowing confession.</p><p>"I can't stand the picture of you dancing with someone else". Can't stand? Me? With someone else? It was crazy to repeat in my head and everything was a blur, surrounding me. That night didn't have a chance anymore. Nothing had a chance. No conversations with guys, no drinks, no dancing, no people around could get that phrase out of my head and I felt it was the exact one thing that I was so scared and excited about before the party. Marshall Mathers was jealous about me dancing with someone else and I adored that thought more than anything, I just didn't know what to do with it.</p><p>The night went fast and slow at the same time. It was 3 in the morning when I gave up waiting for Marshall's return. He still had to be with the producer or somebody else and everyone around was either drunk or found someone for the night. I left our booth and decided to go to my room. Something bitter was on my tongue and a heavy feeling on my chest from everything that happened felt too strong to be replaced by the moving to the beat crowd and some cocktails. I didn't know what I expected from Marshall's come back but it didn't happen anyway so I just had to gather myself and be alone again. Teala gave me an encouraging glance before I could leave.</p><p>I pressed the button, waiting for the elevator in the hall. It was dark and empty with the distant sound of the blasting music and I leaned on the wall for a minute, sighing heavily, feeling the coldness of it by a bare spine. Goddamn, just a few hours ago it was touched by Marshall. His soft gentle touch and I could be almost sure it was a dream by the feeling of how long ago it'd been. Now I had to come back to reality in my empty room with the foolish hopes of the continuation that could have never been true.</p><p>Elevator clicked, the doors opened and I stepped in, turning my head around to look at the glass wall of the elevator and the hallway beside it when I heard someone saying loudly:</p><p>'Hold on, don't press the button'.</p><p>I turned my head back to look at its owner to find Marshall stepping in the elevator with a little rushed expression and stopping near me. I instantly thought that I got so used to telling myself he wouldn't have come back that seeing him in the elevator of all the places got me numb. I don't remember how I reached the button of our floor.</p><p>'Thank you for waiting. So, you enjoyed the night?' he spoke again in his velvety tone as the elevator started moving and even though we weren't looking at each other, I could feel the tension between us. Hotel and party behind the glass wall of the elevator seemed not interesting at all as I could feel my heart pounding in my chest because of his presence, because of the words he'd said earlier.</p><p>'I think I did' I pronounced so quietly that I was afraid that the elevator moving was way louder. All I could think about was we were not close enough and I was begging for him to think the same. 'How is the producer thing?'</p><p>'It's great, thank you' Marshall attested unbelievably seriously and I felt his glance on me. What was he thinking about?</p><p>'I'm glad to hear that'.</p><p>The elevator clicked again and we headed down the hall where our rooms were next to each other in silence. When I stopped near my room and touched the doorknob, not even taking a glance at him, I mumbled way too awkwardly:</p><p>'Well, thank you again for rescuing me today and...'</p><p>But I was interrupted by his hand on one side of my head, preventing the door to my room to be opened.</p><p>'I promised we would talk'.</p><p>I heard him saying quietly along with the feeling of his body behind my back and breath tracing my neck. There wasn't almost any light in that hallway, only blue dark shadows on the walls, and all of it felt too intimate. He was close, and it was enough to let the goosebumps run down my spine.</p><p>'What do you want to talk about?' I answered nervously, swallowing a gulp in my throat and letting go of the doorknob. I didn't really know what he wanted to say but I could feel it was important.</p><p>'Look at me' he added softly, causing me to turn around to face him. A pair of two sparkling at the lack of light eyes met mine closer than I expected, letting me see their decisiveness and dare. The smell of his cologne infected me, making my head spin from the closeness we shared.</p><p>'I want to know something' he said in a throaty voice, eyes pinned to my face. It was no usual conversation for us. He was too close and quiet, tense in all the lines of his features, and I couldn't bear the waiting.</p><p>'Tell me you don't care about anyone at that party and the guy from the music store as long as I'm standing next to you'.</p><p>His voice was soft and gentle, matching his glance as I felt an urge to close my eyes shut and replay this phrase in my mind once again. To make sure I heard every word right, to make sure it was actually happening. My lips parted to answer even though I didn't know if I had to reveal the truth or it was better for us to make it seem like it was just a mistake. He was Marshall Mathers, fucking Eminem, and I was just another journalist working around him. Nothing good could come out of it.</p><p>'Mr. Mathers, I think we shouldn't...'</p><p>'For fuck's sake, Ella' he cursed irritatingly, stepping away abruptly and turning away from me for a second so I could watch the muscles on his spine flexing. My name sounded almost desperately on his lips and I was surprised, seeing the reaction my words got from him. 'Just call me Marshall' he spoke again, facing me but keeping the distance between us.</p><p>'Okay, Marshall' I answered nervously, not getting my eyes off him and trying to keep myself steady against the door. I felt like escaping and staying at the same time just like every time we were getting that close to the edge. 'I don't think we should talk about those things'.</p><p>'I don't fucking care what we should or what we shouldn't' Marshall uttered in a thick voice, frowning, and I saw no hesitation on his expression. 'All I know is that you're making me crazy because I envy anyone who can get to you closer than I do' he added passionately, making something inside me twist from astonishment. His eyes searching for answers on my face. 'I tried to fight it, I decided not to get close to you tonight, but when I saw you dancing with Fifty, when I heard Banks saying all that shit and some prick touching you, I knew I couldn't bear it' it seemed like his breath was too heavy to talk properly. 'Ella, I need to know'.</p><p>'Do you want me as much as I want you?'</p><p>The loud silence hang in the dark blue hallway of the hotel hallway, making me shiver from the question. Marshall was standing a few steps away from me, watching my movements attentively with a clear expression and expecting eyes, and I couldn't decide if that was the end of everything or just the beginning. Felt like the moment before the biggest explosion and I could recognize it just from the way he was looking at me, from the way my breath was changing to fast and unsteady, from the way the tension between us reached the highest point. I couldn't say a word and he knew that too. So when the silence became unbearable, he added:</p><p>'Fuck it. I'm about to find out myself'.</p><p>And the next moment I felt him closing the distance and pressing his lips to mine.</p><p>Yes, it couldn't be described as anything else than the explosion. Marshall's hands found my waist, pressing me closer to him and pushing me against the door to steady both of us in that furious action. His lips moved passionately against mine, catching me off guard and not asking for permission, just taking it without any questions, claiming his desire, ruining any attempts for arguing. I put my hands around his neck almost in an instinct, just to be closer, just to feel what I wanted for so long, dreaming about him every day in a row. I was accepting every touch he could give me, and he had no intention to stop, reaching to my hip and running his hand along my thigh, picking my leg up.</p><p>His tongue searched for access and I let him, touching the short hair on his scalp, moving one of my hands to his cheekbone. I could feel him being impatient, sensual, even angry for some reason and each touch of his was evoking something in me that I'd never felt before, responding eagerly, kissing back deeply. Whatever tension had been between us just a moment before was spilled in that kiss.</p><p>We both knew anyone could see us in that hallway but it didn't matter. I was able to finally feel him just the way I wanted to and the understanding of it was mind-blowing, ecstatic, surreal, letting me drown in that cocktail glass of feelings. How fortunate it was that he decided to take that step because I wasn't sure I could've waited any longer.</p><p>Marshall pulled back first when we ran out of breath, panting just like me, and I met his eyes full of desire locking into mine. If anything was written in them, I was unable to read. My heart was beating furiously in my chest, running the goosebumps along my body under his hands.</p><p>Millions of things ran through my mind that second but I could catch only one. Removing my fingers from Marshall's face and placing it on my lips in disbelief under his gaze, I thought that eventually, 50 Cent was right about something.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Uh oh, what do we have here?👀 Can't believe it actually happened. I got used to all this development so much that I thought this scene would never come lol. I hope, you are as happy as I am about it. Apologizing for taking so long, I just had to make it right, you know?</p><p>Anyway, please leave a like or comment to express your opinion about the chapter and encourage me to post frequently. Huge thanks to everyone for supporting me and being patient. Love you all!❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Mariah</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>You're a mom and pop, I'm a corporation</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'm the press conference, you a conversation.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And why you're so obsessed with me?</em>
</p>
<p>'Em, dawg, you can't deny that it's kinda funny' Denaun was giggling mercilessly, covering his mouth with his hand and trying to suppress a burst of laughter at Marshall's cold stare in response to it. I couldn't hold back a chuckle myself no matter how hard I was trying to.</p>
<p>'Yeah, man, you looked damn right in that video. Did she pay you to shoot some scenes in your room?' Fifty smirked deliciously, adding some fuel to the fire in a habitual manner of his.</p>
<p>It's been about an hour after we'd heard the big news in my hotel room and now all of us were sitting in Fifty's master suite, watching "Obsessed" video on a huge TV screen. From the side, we could've probably be mistaken for some political convention that was supposed to discuss important international issues. And that day, Mariah Carey was on the agenda.</p>
<p>'Oh, fuck off' Marshall snorted annoyed and I noted for myself how fast his mood changed that morning when he heard the news. After a moment of surprise and lack of understanding, he went from partially irritated to very angry real quick. "Mariah? Who the fuck she thinks she is?" were the only words he pronounced after Royce's announcement, then stormed out of the room with no caution, and a half an hour later hotel staff told me to go to Fifty's suite.</p>
<p>So, there I was sitting near Denaun on the sofa, Marshall a little too far from me, the whole situation somehow feeling a little ridiculous.</p>
<p>'Oh come on, Em, that was a nice parody. Mariah has bars. That shit with corporation and conversation. Did you hear it?' Royce winked teasingly, grinning smugly. He was the first one to find out the news and now was enjoying the smoke a little more than all of us. I wondered if he was expecting exactly the same reaction he managed to get and if yes, then he should've made some big bets.</p>
<p>'I'll show that bitch bars' Marshall hissed through greeted teeth, turning his expression into a scowl. Anger still prominent on his features but slowly being replaced by thoughtfulness. I had an urge to touch him in some way to express my support but it wasn't the best time to deal with whatever was happening between us. Right?</p>
<p>'Why did she do that, though?' Tiana, who was standing next to Fifty the whole time, asked curiously, mirroring my own thoughts. I surely heard and read a lot of things about Eminem's relationship with Mariah but I obviously didn't know a lot too. It's a well-known thing that the most interesting details are usually kept behind closed doors.</p>
<p>'Oh she's salty 'cause I mentioned her on the album. I bet she's a fan of "Bagpipes from Baghdad"' Marshall let himself a sarcastic smirk, this time something devilish appearing along with it. I liked something in that sight, even though it could feel a bit intimidating.</p>
<p>'So, what are you going to do? Just leave it or make the response?' Denaun asked simply, finding some fruits on the table of Fifty's suite. I thought of the possibility of him taking breaks from putting something in his mouth and couldn't imagine it properly.</p>
<p>'Nobody is doing nothing today. We still have some plans before you leave' Fifty answered in a fake parental tone. 'Em can destroy her tomorrow. Let the bitch enjoy some good time before that because soon she won't have any' he chuckled in a signature smile, Tiana showing his shoulder playfully.</p>
<p>'Nah, sorry man, change of plans. Mariah wants some of my attention, so I'm gonna give it to her' Marshall stood up, talking to Fifty, the sign of made decision playing in the form of an evil grin on his face. Well, looked like "the bitch" wouldn't have had any good time.</p>
<p>'So, coming back to Detroit?' Fifty sighed helplessly, giving up. When it came to Marshall, he wasn't eager to argue. And I reckoned that it couldn't be anything else than major respect.</p>
<p>'Not really' Marshall smirked again, this time enigmatically, and turned his head to Royce, Denaun, and me. Okay?</p>
<p>'Pack your shit, three of you. We're going to make a visit to Dre in LA'.</p>
<p>'Yeeeehaw!' Denaun exclaimed a little too loud, smiling widely, making us wondering how that exact sound was connected to LA. 'We're going back to Cali, Cali, Cali!' he started humming with no rhythm, moving his arms around in weird compilations of movements and making all of us laugh watching him.</p>
<p>'Holy Cool J' Royce added, chortling and hiding his face in his palm in a routine reaction to Denaun's dorkiness. Okay, so it was settled.</p>
<p>We decided to waste no time. Marshall appeared to be very persistent at leaving as soon as possible and we had no choice but to obey. When it came to destroying someone, he was passionate and focused, wanting to accomplish that in the best way and as soon as possible. Mariah was a sore topic and he was craving revenge. The only thing was that it completely drew his attention from the events of that morning between the two of us and we had no chance to speak again. It was understandable, of course, but I still had that weird feeling of uncertainty and couldn't get rid of it.</p>
<p>Fifty helped with packing and Tiana visited my room before we were leaving. We had a pretty nice conversation and I thought that I would've liked to hang out with her again, just casually, as good acquaintances. But I knew that after finishing the project, it would've been barely possible. Not to mention, unnatural. Why would 50 Cent's girlfriend hang out with some journalist?</p>
<p>It made me also think about being in touch with Denaun and Royce. Through the time we'd spent already, I could feel them slowly but surely becoming my friends and I knew that after the month passed, the communication between us would change. And Marshall? Well...</p>
<p>But those were just thoughts that were hunting me in a private jet that was heading to LA. Denaun and Royce were sitting with me and Marshall a couple of seats from us which was actually another side of the plane. Since coming on board, he'd been listening to something in his headphones and writing in the notebook. Guys advised not to bother him so I was just observing his figure from the distance from time to time, trying not to make it too obvious. And of course, failing terribly.</p>
<p>'Ella, come on, I see you being nervous, is it about Marshall?' Denaun spoke to me, smiling softly with a knowing expression on his face. Royce, who was sitting across from us, was listening attentively.</p>
<p>'Why does it have to be about him?' I made a grimace, trying to hold back a blush on my cheeks from being caught by their sight. I didn't think I was ready to be fully open on that topic.</p>
<p>'Oh, sure, so you want to say you didn't get freaky with Em this morning in your room?' Denaun wiggled his eyebrows playfully, making me roll my eyes at him. I couldn't deny it was kind of funny, though.</p>
<p>'And what are you now, my girlfriend to discuss that? I already have Diana for that' I chuckled wryly with a little tease. It wasn't like I didn't trust Denaun or Royce but it was just all a bit weird.</p>
<p>'Nah, Diana ain't shit compared to me and Royce. Tell us the truth, girl. We deserve to know what happened between you and that jerk' he continued, faking some seriousness, and I thought that maybe, it wasn't a very bad idea actually. Despite the fact that they could've retold everything Marshall after that. Oh well...</p>
<p>'Don't mind him, just tell. Maybe, we can help or whatever' Royce added simply but reassuringly, making me believe their good intentions. Or maybe, I shouldn't have.</p>
<p>'Okay, I'll be short, though. We kinda kissed last night...' I mumbled quickly as if trying to swallow the words and replaying the action in my head, feeling the heat coming to my cheeks. Talking about Marshall with him being not that far away was a little surreal.</p>
<p>'I knew it!' Denaun whispered-shouted, showing me his satisfied comical expression. I wondered when he and Royce became our own fan club. I was just a journalist among them, wasn't I?</p>
<p>'Yeah, yeah, whatever' I tried to calm him down with a glare but it was practically impossible. 'And it happened again this morning'.</p>
<p>'That's awesome, what's the problem then?' Royce intervened with an expectant nonchalant face. For some reason, for both him and Denaun our strange relationship with Marshall seemed like a very good idea when, in reality, it wasn't only flowers and rainbows. To be completely honest, it was far from that. To begin with, there was barely any relationship at all.</p>
<p>'Well, I don't know if I can call that a problem but I feel kind of uncertain about what all of that means. Like, okay, we kissed twice, what now?' I raised my eyebrows at them as if refuting their arguments. I didn't really want to sound like "Oh my God, what does it mean?", "Who are we now?" and so on but at the same time, I didn't know how to behave and that was making me feel uneasy.</p>
<p>'So, you're wondering if he just wants a fuck or it's something different, more important?' Royce asked bluntly, crossing his legs on the seat, and I felt myself at the psychologist appointment, ready to have my secrets revealed easily. How do you even imagine your life going that way?</p>
<p>'Something like that' I nodded weakly, taking a look at Marshall briefly. He was all in his own world, writing in the notebook furiously. 'But I do know it's the worst timing now to figure it out since the whole Mariah thing'.</p>
<p>'Oh yeah, have you heard about some legendary beefs in hip hop, Ella?' Denaun asked with a small grin, acting as a teacher. Well, I had to be fair, when it came to hip hop, he was. But I did my homework too.</p>
<p>'Tupac and Biggie? 5o Cent and Ja Rule? Jay-Z and Nas?' I bubbled, trying to remember everything I've learned reading about hip hop and things attached to it. I couldn't be called an expert just like Trevor from my publishing, for sure, but at least, I knew some things.</p>
<p>'That's right' Denaun nodded approvingly with a small grin on his lips. It felt like he didn't expect that. 'But I'm telling you, all the beefs you've named are nothing compared to Eminem and Mariah beef. The shit is old and classic. Children should learn that from history books'.</p>
<p>'Children should listen to her voicemails while learning. Just you know, to let them do their math' Royce added mockingly, chortling at Denaun, and they shared a high-five. I chuckled.</p>
<p>'So, that's the truth, they dated? That's why he's so angry?' I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to act cool about it, even though it was obvious from the embarrassment on my cheeks that I was trying too hard. Stupid shyness.</p>
<p>'Oh, for sure. Mariah is a liar and you know that Em won't let that slip' Denaun smiled widely as if anticipating the action. 'That's why you shouldn't worry about you and him now. The next few days he'll be focused on leaving no spot from Mariah but then it will be all clear' he winked at me supportively and I felt something in my chest lightening. For sure, to be able to talk to somebody sometimes can be a very good thing. But the image of Marshall's profile on the other side of the plane refused to dispel all my worries.</p>
<p>That was how we spent the entire flight. LA met us with sunny hot weather and a big house with a swimming pool. Marshall didn't tell for how long we should've been there so Paul had everything planned for at least a couple of days.</p>
<p>We arrived in the afternoon and Marshall went directly to Dre's studio, leaving all of us with nothing to do but wait for the news and me, remembering that I hadn't called Josh at all. It created a bad feeling inside me so I just had to get rid of that burden as soon as possible. Still, I was postponing the call more and more.</p>
<p>Entering my room with big windows and the door to the pool, I thought that my life had experienced some really drastic turn since the day I'd entered the publishing and found out the news. A few days before I'd been in Detroit, in the morning I was in New York, now I was somewhere in the hills of LA. That was the life Marshall lived and I had a chance to take a look at it. From my point of view, of course, it was interesting and magnetizing. But just a bit hectic. That's all. I felt myself still adjusting to the rhythm.</p>
<p>I had some writing to do so the evening came faster than I expected. Royce and Denaun invited me for a dinner and I joined them at the big dining room in the house only to eat something from the nearest fast food place. Marshall was absent and I felt lost.</p>
<p>The whole day, since Mariah news, had been a little bit crazy so when I turned off the lights in my room and sat down to watch the night covering the hills of LA through the glass doors, I finally thought about the events of the morning the way I wanted to. Marshall's sensual touch was making it's way to my mind, again and again, intoxicating me with pictures of us together.</p>
<p>It was something I'd never experienced before. I'd been in love with Jake for what felt like an eternity but to that night and morning with Marshall, I never felt so desired. No one had treated me the way he did and that understanding was making something weird to me, making me urge for the continuation, wait for any sign of affection. I kept feeling myself a foolish dreamer.</p>
<p>But beef with Mariah kept him busy for the whole day. We didn't even have a chance to speak properly. And why would we? It could mean literally nothing for him. And still, something in my chest was craving for another scenario.</p>
<p>Laying in the dark and trying to sleep, I spotted my phone showing 1:37 am and mentally slapped myself for overthinking. It was quiet outside and I could hear some distant noises of the living hills in my room, listening to them with my head on the comfy pillow. And when I was just about to try to close my eyes again, I heard a quiet, careful knock on my door.</p>
<p>At first, I thought I imagined it. Then it happened once more and I thought that Denaun or Royce was probably too bored to sleep and wanted to invite me for a game or talk in case I wasn't sleeping. So, I groaned weakly and got up from the bed. Maybe, it was really better for me to spend some time with them and stop thinking about Marshall so much.</p>
<p>But, in a habitual manner of the past few days, when I opened the door, I saw my guest being the complete opposite of my naive expectations.</p>
<p>'Have I woken you up?'</p>
<p>It seemed like some time before he'd chosen a weird routine to come to my door when I was the least expecting him. But maybe, that was a lie. Because how could you explain that strange feeling in your chest when you know he won't come but still look at the door as if it's about to be opened? Even if you know that the chances are 1 to the million. Let's be honest here, I was waiting for Marshall to come to my room, and wasn't I lucky for it becoming a reality?</p>
<p>'Not really' I muttered softly, raising my glance to find his sparkling eyes in the dark. His expression was a bit tired and focused on me, making me feel unsure about what to say and do.</p>
<p>'Good. Something told me you are awake' Marshall answered seriously, voice low and velvet, imitating the darkness. I was dying to know why he came but we were still standing on the threshold, my barefoot nervously drawing random patterns on the floor.</p>
<p>'May I come in?' he added simply, reflecting my thoughts, and I couldn't ask for better, nodding simply as he stepped into the room. Closing the door, I heard my heart starting its race on fresh forces.</p>
<p>'So...'</p>
<p>I wanted to say something to start the conversation but as I turned around to face him in the room, I suddenly felt two of his hands wrapping around my frame gently, catching me off guard with the abruptness of the gesture. His nose brushed my hair and I felt his cologne as something I'd known since the day I knew me. I heard his breath calm and slow, making the moment intimate.</p>
<p>'The whole day was fucking exhausting' I heard his voice somewhere in my hair and my skin reacting to every word of his, turning my own touch to the stronger one, trying to be closer to him in the embrace. One part of me was waiting for some definition of what was happening but another one was just enjoying the feeling.</p>
<p>'I understand. Maybe, you should have some rest?' I spoke to him knowingly, trying to find the proper words. The day before we'd been nobody to each other and now somehow he was a guest in my room for the second time that day. Even though the rooms were different.</p>
<p>'You are right. I definitely should' he sighed heavily and broke the embrace, making me confused. It was like the soft gesture was mindless and unthoughtful, almost routine. 'You know, I do like this feeling, though' he walked to the glass doors to look at the hills of LA, putting his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. His dark silhouette seemed to be the centerpiece of my space. 'Things that make me angry push me, give some fuel I need to go forward. Even with this Mariah bullshit, I feel like it gets the best of me creatively. Does it make any sense?' Marshall turned around to look at me again, the bright night leaving a shadow on his features. Jaw sharpening in the sheer moonlight and glance unreadable. I found myself playing with my fingers nervously. Why did he come so late?</p>
<p>'Of course, it makes' I nodded reassuringly but without much confidence, feeling unable to discuss that topic properly. We were alone in the room and after that morning in one of New York's hotels, the words couldn't be enough.</p>
<p>'Of course' he repeated with a small smirk appearing on his lips and lowering his eyes. He certainly knew about my thoughts at that moment and honestly, I needed him to know it.</p>
<p>I said nothing too wrapped up in his movements and he threw his glance towards the bed. The goosebumps rose up and down my spine, following his gaze to the comfy sheets. Could we be that close for now or was it too much to ask for these few crazy days?</p>
<p>'Mind if I <em>stay</em>?'</p>
<p>He asked it unnaturally habitually as if it was something we were used to doing before. His tone was cashmere and home-like, blue eyes hiding their shade in the darkness and giving no promise. But something was telling me that there was one.</p>
<p>'No, I don't' I pronounced surely, not giving a single fuck about what that "stay" meant. I just felt like sharing with him the same space. The reason for that seemed insignificant. I couldn't think straight even though I should've been.</p>
<p>'That's what I thought about' he said teasingly, making his way to the bed and walking to another side of it. Next thing I knew he was taking his hoodie off, revealing his T-Shirt, and sitting down on the bed. I couldn't see his face but I felt him suppressing a grin at my numbness.</p>
<p>'Don't stand there, just walk over here' Marshall added simply, laying on my bed on his back and closing his eyes with no strength to keep them opened. I observed the sight, listening to my heart beating. It was all confusing and at the same time, I didn't want it to stop. That night, Lord only knew why, it happened to be that we belonged to that room in LA together.</p>
<p>'How was the work in the studio?' I asked, getting under the sheets on the acceptable for both of us distance, feeling his weight on the mattress as the mark of his presence. Our heads appeared to be on the same level and I mirrored him, laying on my back and closing my eyes.</p>
<p>'Dre was surprised to see me so soon' he chuckled in the darkness and the closeness of his tickled my ears. It was so weird not to see Marshall but only hear him, knowing that he was in reach of a hand. I could barely distinguish the distant noises of LA anymore through the sound of his voice. 'But it all went well. I wrote something so Mariah will get a little present from me' I could almost feel his smirk somewhere in the air, making me suppress a small smile too.</p>
<p>'Then poor she' I said nonchalantly. He snorted.</p>
<p>'She lost when she decided that playing these games with me was a good idea' he continued with a little mock in his voice, letting me enjoy the sound. It was like we used to chat like that before. It was like he'd never been rude to me. 'When we used to date, I always thought that it's crazy how such an attractive chick could be such a bitch'.</p>
<p>'What if she does all of it because she wants you back? You know, just to get your attention' I asked curiously, the atmosphere of the night giving me a right to do so.</p>
<p>'I don't care. She's Nick's problem now' Marshall answered more seriously this time, a note of anger prominent in his words. Well, it seemed like the whole purpose of the beef wasn't exactly like Mariah Carey tried to portray it. He really didn't want her back. He was pissed off and that was worse.</p>
<p>'I'm tired of her name today, though' he shook off the topic, dispelling my thoughts, and I wondered if that was the end or just the beginning. For fuck's sake, it was 2 in the morning, he was laying on my bed next to me somewhere in LA. Life couldn't feel more unreal.</p>
<p>'I came here to talk about something else'.</p>
<p>His tone changed to soft and satin, making my body in the darkness feel every note of it. I wanted him right beside me, not in the reach of a hand. And perhaps, it was possible.</p>
<p>'For example?' I opened my eyes, hearing my own voice trembling on the "p". It was pleasant to talk and not say anything in particular, knowing the answer in advance. It was just a game but I needed it more than I wanted to admit.</p>
<p>'How about this morning in your room?' he pronounced with a delicious tease, slipping from his tongue, and I felt goosebumps covering me instantly. The flashback suddenly happened to be on the edge with reality.</p>
<p>'What exactly? I don't remember anything outstanding about that' and now it was my turn to mock, even though my fingers were holding the blanket just a little too tight.</p>
<p>'Oh, you don't?' Marshall responded wryly, and I heard him move on the bed a little. Instead of answering, I closed my eyes. Please, Lord, please...</p>
<p>'Well, I recall your breathing speeding up when I called you "baby".</p>
<p>I knew he was close. I didn't know how close exactly but even through the closed eyelids I could feel him carefully and slowly making his way to me. Something soothing was in his tone, something hot was in the sound of his breath, something intimate was in the darkness we shared, and I knew he wouldn't have left just as simple as he came in. I had to answer something. So I did.</p>
<p>'Then you should probably do that once again to refresh my memory'.</p>
<p>My whispered words melted in the air, and I felt the weight of his body right next to me. My heart pounded in my ears, and I wondered when Marshall Mathers managed to get that kind of control of me when we appeared on the same bed at 2 in the morning. Without opening my eyes, I felt the smell of his cologne getting stronger and parted my lips as if trying to catch that.</p>
<p>'Baby' his low velvet tone appeared near my ear as his breath brushed my skin, and I felt his lips touching my neck. I let out a small gasp and opened my eyes to see the lines of his torso bent above me in the dark dangerously close to my body. I felt my spine arching from the bed, trying to meet his touch.</p>
<p>'Do you remember now?' he added softly but seductively, leaving a few kisses down my neck and to the collarbones, heating my body with a single sound of his voice, with just a thought of him next to me.</p>
<p>'I'm not sure' I swallowed the urge to say "yes" and heard him chuckling into my skin. My hands found his shoulders hidden by the fabric of his T-shirt and when he raised his head to find my glance in the dark, I held it tight.</p>
<p>'You're not? How about this?' Marshall's eyes sparkled in the dark mixed with his unimpressed tone as he lowered his head to me and touched my lips with his.</p>
<p>I felt my body pressing into the mattress. His lips tortured me with a painfully slow, tasteful kiss, testing my patience, making one of my hands move to the back of his neck. His hair was short and soft under my fingers and my mind suddenly became unclear, completely messed up, forgetting all my hesitations before. I hated the blanket between us, I hated the sheets. Because all I wanted was to be as close as possible.</p>
<p>'Fuck the blanket'.</p>
<p>He whispered the words in my mouth through the sounds of our heavy breathing, making all my insides respond eagerly to that single phrase. I felt him removing the blanket between us and his hand made its way under the shirt of my satin pajamas, caressing the skin of my stomach and barely brushing the hem of my shorts with his fingertips. My body was burning from anticipation, letting him do what he wanted.</p>
<p>Marshall didn't plan to slow down, putting his hand under my leg and lifting my knee closer to his body, moving the fingers along my thigh, tenderly caressing the skin. His lips refused to leave mine, his tongue was dictating the rules and his body was pressing harder and harder into mine, craving for closeness. I never was completely confident about myself but the way he was touching me made me feel wanted, sure about my own movements when I sent my fingers under his T-Shirt to feel the muscles of his toned stomach. I heard him cursing in the response as his own breath fastened.</p>
<p>'Damn... I really fucking <em>want </em>you'.</p>
<p>His voice came out hoarse and a little bit harsh as his fingers found my nipple under the shirt, sending a shock wave of pleasure down my spine and making me gasp in the kiss we shared. My pulse was speeding up crazily the faster and the more eager were his touches.</p>
<p>He kissed me deeply and I never felt something feeling so right. Except for the fact, that when I reached for the hem of his T-Shirt to take it off, an abrupt flashback crossed my mind with the picture of Marshall and Roxy in the TV studio. Her face and his words from the club about the senseless hookups came up in my head. All of a sudden, I understood the brutal reality.</p>
<p>Let's be honest, Eminem probably had dozens of girls like me craving for his touch. And how many of them had he called "baby" before? How many did he treat like one night stands and left behind, using them just like Roxy? Why should have I been the exception to that? Why would have he respected me if he was so used to take what he wanted and throw away? These questions came to my mind probably a little too late after the morning events and what was happening between us at that minute but...</p>
<p>It seemed like I'd never wanted someone that much in my life before. However, the realization was making his caresses feel bitter. I didn't mind casual sex but somehow with Marshall, I didn't want it to be that way. It was a fun game to play before but what's next? He would've probably thrown me out the morning after, just as soon as finally getting what he wanted. And I knew too well about being hurt to let that happen.</p>
<p>'So, you want me just like you wanted Roxy?'</p>
<p>I let it out simply in between the kiss, feeling that with that picture in my head I wasn't able to continue. His hands instantly stopped their movements and he broke the kiss, finding my eyes in the darkness when the air became silence ruined by our heavy breathes. His pupils were surprised and confused as if it was something he expected the least.</p>
<p>'Does it matter?' Marshall asked curiously, observing my face. At that moment I felt that he was trying to see some hidden motives in my words in a habit of not trusting anyone. When all I wanted to know was if he planned to use me just like others.</p>
<p>'Yes. Because I'm certainly not like her'.</p>
<p>Maybe, it was the first time when my words sounded confident that night. Something I should've reminded him from the beginning and missed that, being too caught up in the feelings and emotions he was awakening in me. And yes, I couldn't ignore him, I had no powers to resist his presence but I just had to let him know that I cared about the consequences.</p>
<p>'I was right about you being smart' Marshall let out a small bitter scoff to himself, leaving my body only to lay on his back right next to me, licking his lips with the taste of our kiss and my sudden bluntness. There was a silent pause in the air before he spoke again.</p>
<p>'Look, you probably know for now that there have been two types of women in my life. The ones I'm crazily into and get in a relationship with, and the ones I fuck and leave behind with no feelings involved. And I'm not gonna lie that I'm tired of the first type because it always fucks me up in the end'.</p>
<p>His tone was strong but sincere in a familiar manner to be blunt. The truth was bitter but expected and despite the unpleasant feeling in my chest, I didn't take that too bad. What did I want to hear? We barely knew each other and the only attraction Marshall could feel to me was sexual. It all was understandable but it also put the thought in my head that I shouldn't have let him in.</p>
<p>'You don't want the first type because you don't trust anyone' I pronounced, covering myself with a blanket again, feeling the conversation taking an unpleasant turn. But I started that myself and I didn't want to play the games of lie with him.</p>
<p>'I have my reasons' he cut sharper than I expected, and I felt that I touched the old wound. It seemed like I imagined it all being a bit simpler when I dreamt of him from the distance. But Marshall Mathers had huge trust issues so how could it ever be another way?</p>
<p>'Okay, I'm not gonna pretend like I understand because I surely can't. But I needed you to say it for us to be clear' I swallowed a lump in my throat, suddenly feeling an urge to be alone. I guess I just wasn't the type not to take such things seriously and maybe, that was my problem. I was in the bed with Eminem practically rejecting him. Ridiculous.</p>
<p>'Didn't want to get my expectations too high about all of this meaning something' my words tasted poignant on my tongue and his presence felt heavy on my chest. 'It's just...'</p>
<p>'What?'</p>
<p>'It's just you shouldn't have called me yours' I answered, sighing sadly.</p>
<p>That thought was bothering me from the minute he walked in. Something inside me knew that all this game and jealousy he showed at the party was nothing more than a desire to get something you don't have. Of course, he may have liked me aside from that but he didn't plan to get further than sex. And I should have thought about it the minute he kissed me in that hallway.</p>
<p>'Whatever I want is mine and I want <em>you</em> so that's not the point' Marshall responded carelessly, turning on his side to face me. I felt the glance of his sparkling in the dark eyes on me.</p>
<p>His tone became tender and quiet again, brows a bit furrowed and I didn't resist an urge to turn on my side and face him too, studying the lines of his features. He was unfair, so unfair, making me feel that way and refusing to give anything in response. I knew I should've ended it before we went too far, none of it seemed good for me. But wasn't I too late if his presence felt so addictive already?</p>
<p>'Then what is the point?' I asked with no intention to hide, looking into his eyes in the dark so close from me, and somehow knowing that I was fucked up. The man in my bed was very dangerous for my heart that had been broken by others before.</p>
<p>'I guess we will need to find out' he shrugged genuinely and I wondered where his harshness disappeared. 'I had to be sincere with you when you asked. But I also have to say that driving from the studio, I thought that I wanted to see you before going to sleep and I didn't expect that' he added gently, making me understand that perhaps, letting him in wasn't a completely bad idea. Not the idea for this particular night but what if it's a perfect idea for any other night later? I shouldn't have believed that there was a hope of him being mine. But if you see a small sign of hope, how wouldn't you take it?</p>
<p>'Well, I didn't expect you coming here too' I responded quietly, staring at him back with a hurricane of thoughts and feelings in my head.</p>
<p>It all would've been easier if the night could last forever. In the room everything was simple. Just him and I. His scent, his breath, his voice, and his glance. The problem was I had no fucking idea about what was waiting for us tomorrow.</p>
<p>'Now just stop thinking and come here. I had a very busy day trying to bust Mariah's ass' Marshall chortled suddenly, ruining the mood and reaching his arms to take me closer to him. I gave up.</p>
<p>Less then a moment later I was laying in his arms against his chest and inhaling the fresh scent of his shower gel, hiding my face in the crook of his neck. It was weird how safe and protected I was feeling near him. One of his hands was resting on my back, drawing the patterns with its fingers and another was under my head, wrapped around my shoulders. Maybe, that kind of tenderness from him was telling me that he liked me but was afraid to trust me just like Kim or Chelsea. Or maybe, it was just an illusion.</p>
<p>'So, will I be allowed to listen to what you wrote for Mariah?' I asked with a little mock in my tone before closing my eyes and moving even closer to him under the blanket. I didn't even realize that I was tired as hell too.</p>
<p>'Sure, tomorrow we all are going to the studio' he murmured somewhere near my ear, sending the shiver down my spine and making me smile unwittingly. The distant sounds of LA behind the glass door reached my ears again and I decided to postpone all my worries until tomorrow morning.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okaaaay, we got some tangled and confusing things going on now but I just can't imagine Marshall jumping in relationships straight away. Got a lot on my plate now and that's why the updates are not that frequent. But I'll try to catch up with it soon. Hope you liked the chapter.</p><p>Anyway, please, leave a like or comment to express your opinion on the chapter and encourage me to continue, post frequently. Huge thanks for all the support and your patience. Much love for you all❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Breakfast at yours</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I'd always thought that the signs of destiny, or whatever mystical things that people liked to believe in, were nothing more than foolish fiction. However, waking up that day in my hotel room and laying on the bed replaying all the events of the previous night, I found myself being not so sure anymore.</p><p>Like, come on, just think about it. What else than a sign of a fucking destiny could be the cover of the magazine Diana'd given me the day Jeff told me about Eminem's deal? And what about Trevor breaking his leg exactly that day? Trevor was supposed to go for this project and Diana wasn't supposed to predict my current situation with her jokes. But, as crazy as it sounded, all of it led to the fact that I appeared to be kissing Marshall Mathers in the hallway of one of the biggest hotels in New York and more than enjoying it. Fuck, it all really happened, didn't it?</p><p>I laid on my back, looking up at the ceiling and sinking deep in the comfy soft sheets of the bed, enjoying the morning sun creeping through the curtains of the room to wake me up. But there was no need. Recalling the last events of the night, I'd been wide awake since the early morning and couldn't force myself to get any more sleep. What a pleasurable torture sometimes it is to replay in your head some of the moments again and again. Getting to the favorite one, I touched my lips with my fingers almost mindlessly. Just the way it was in the dark blue hallway.</p><p>After that explosive mind-blowing kiss we'd shared, both of us found each other standing silently with a complete lack of understanding of how something like that could've happened.</p><p>It seemed like I'd seen it happening between us on the basketball court. That was the first time I'd spotted a playful spark in his glance that didn't mean anything in particular but surely had excluded the possibility of us hating each other. Thinking about it, I could see things leading to us being closer and closer. And still, the kiss that happened in that hallway caught me off guard with no explanation for further consequences.</p><p>Marshall's eyes were looking at me sparkling with passion and desire as his breath was just as heavy and unsteady as mine. For the moment, I had an urge to kiss him again and let his touch explore me just like he'd done only a minute earlier. But my senses came back to me quickly, reminding us of the dangerous reality we'd put ourselves into. We heard an elevator click, someone exiting it and disappearing around the corner. The silence between us was ruined.</p><p>'So now I know' he pronounced quietly, standing not far away from me, features slowly coming back to normal but there was no usual scowl. I couldn't reach the sense of his words right after he'd said that because somehow everything seemed different. Just some short period back we'd been so far away and now I was standing in front of Marshall with the taste of his lips on mine. Crazy?</p><p>'What do you mean?' I felt dumb for a second but couldn't help numbness getting ahold of me. After all, when you dream about something for so long, sometimes it's hard to believe it happening.</p><p>'Now I know that you don't give a fuck about that guy' the way he said it was blunt but the main note in his tone was just a little bit smug as if he won an important game everyone had doubted him in. The raw truth of the sentence making me wince.</p><p>'It seems like all you needed was just to prove it' I told him just the way I felt that. I didn't know what was bothering me more: his tone or the fact that I worked for him and something like that happened. Jeff's face suddenly appeared in my mind with a judgmental expression. What would've he said about it all? Probably, "unprofessional".</p><p>'Is that what you think it is?' Marshall asked with his eyebrows furrowed. Maybe, I was wrong with saying that but I was still under the influence of the moment. Confused, lost, and scared. I wanted more but I didn't know exactly what "more" meant. And maybe, that night had already had too many things happened to let me find out.</p><p>'I don't know. Maybe, that's why it's better for both of us for me to go?' I didn't find anything better to say, touching the doorknob behind my back nervously. His eyes were serious, following my gesture, and I felt as if I stole something. I didn't know how to answer not to make it an argument and my heart beating refused to come back to normal. Crossing the line, we didn't think about what we would have done with it afterward.</p><p>'Okay, if you want so' he answered with a little disappointment to my words and I felt scared that I might have given Marshall the impression I was rejecting him. At that point, the night reached its peak and I didn't want us to end it in a bad way no matter how strange it all looked.</p><p>'Good night, Marshall' I half-whispered, looking at his face for a reaction. His name came out smooth and gentle from my lips and I noted how pleasant it was to pronounce it. I never dared to call him by his name and that night he asked for it himself. Perhaps, in that hallway, it was an equivalent for saying "I like you" without promising anything or making confessions. I didn't know if he caught that but his response was soft and quiet:</p><p>'Good night, Ella'.</p><p>For about a minute we stood still, looking at each other without moving. A train of thought ran through my mind to reach its destination and it seemed like if we'd stood there longer, he would've touched me again. I saw that in his glance. But gathering myself, I turned around and finally opened my door. Just a moment and I was safe again, away from Marshall's blue eyes, leaning on the door and catching a foolish smile creeping to my features.</p><p>So, there I was, alone in my hotel room, standing up from my bed and walking to the window. The streets of New York were already busy with cars and people rushing somewhere and the loud buzz filled the air as I opened it. Such a big city and such a little me, having no idea how to face Marshall that day. How should've we behaved?</p><p>I turned away from the wall-sized window that was more like a door with no balcony but a thin black railing and left it opened, the creamy curtains hiding my room from the world.</p><p>To clear my thoughts, I decided to take a shower. I didn't remember Fifty having anything planned for us for the day after the party but I assumed we would've gathered all together with Royce, Denaun, and G-Unit guys to hang out later that day. If I wasn't mistaking, the next day we were supposed to come back to Detroit.</p><p>Standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom, I was drying my hair with a towel. I had no urge to dress up just yet so I put on a fluffy white robe, feeling a pleasant sensation of warmness on my wet skin, and looked in my reflection thoughtfully. But as I let my thoughts overwhelm me again, I heard a careful knock on the door and turned my head, listening. It repeated once more and I had no choice but to adjust my robe and still half-wet hair to go to open the door.</p><p>'I'm going, who's there?' I answered loudly, reaching the door and silently praying for it not to be Marshall. But when the female voice behind the door answered, I exhaled in relief.</p><p>'It's a room service, Ms'.</p><p>I didn't remember ordering anything or asking for staff but things like that were common in hotels, right? I was waiting for some fresh towels or anything like that but when I opened the door, I didn't even have a chance to say something as I was surprised by another voice talking in a commanding tone:</p><p>'Yeah, come in and just put everything on the table. The fancy shit and stuff, you know. Make it look pretty'.</p><p>The next moment I was gently pushed aside by the white serving cart with food and porcelain plates and cups, a woman and a man dressed as hotel staff making their way to the room and starting to serve the big glass coffee table, leaving me speechless. Right behind them, I saw Marshall's figure in sweatpants and literally no shirt on coming in and continuing with the instructions. Catching me standing confused at everything that was happening, a sly smirk appeared on his lips, eyes colored with a playful sparkle as he gave me a side glance:</p><p>'Good morning to you too'.</p><p>His tone was unusually sweet and just a little bit sarcastic as he enjoyed my reaction the appearance of his caused this morning. That night I was imagining a lot of plots of the development of the morning but never could imagine the reality be like that. And I didn't know how to react.</p><p>'Sir, it's all served. Do you need anything else?' the lady asked, turning to look at Marshall with expected expression. Both of the staff members acting like they didn't notice me. Well, I wouldn't have probably noticed myself too because I was standing so surprised and numb that they might have thought I was a sculpture or a weird piece of furniture.</p><p>'No, thanks, write it all down on my bill, including your tip' Marshall answered carelessly, sending them a thankful look.</p><p>'Sure, sir, enjoy your breakfast'.</p><p>With those words, two of them nodded with a pleased expression like the people who didn't expect anything good and now were pleasantly surprised by the generosity. The door was closed and we were left alone, standing in front of each other. Shirtless, probably just after sleep Marshall, looking at me mockingly and me, suddenly remembering the fact that I left one important piece of my underwear in the bathroom. Oh wow, good morning, Marshall is in your room with enormous breakfast served and you don't even have a bra under the robe. Marvelous.</p><p>'Will you just stand there looking at me the whole day or maybe, sit and have a breakfast?' he pronounced in a deliciously low velvet tone of his and biting his cheek to hide a grin. 'I mean, I don't mind the first option, I know it's hard to resist but we could do that any time' he added walking to the sofa and sitting down comfortably, taking a newspaper left by the staff and opening it, before giving me a nonchalant glance. I could feel my blush spreading all over my body. What the hell was he doing?</p><p>'What are you doing here?' I finally managed to voice my thoughts, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion, and watching him sitting lazily with legs widely spread, reading a newspaper.</p><p>From the side, I could see the muscles on his chest defining, smooth skin down to the waistband of the sweats which made me feel a lump in my throat that I hurried to swallow. Expression engaged in reading the news. The position somehow domestic and familiar as if we just woke up together in that hotel room to have breakfast and there was nothing unusual or weird about it. Except for everything, of course.</p><p>'Well, you know, sometimes I get ideas' he smirked, raising a glance at me and I saw dimples forming on his cheeks. 'Then I remember that I actually have money to spend. So I've figured, why not to share breakfast with the certain journalist that works for me?' Marshall asked and the glance of his was cunning in a little darkened by the curtains room, drawing me to him with no choice to make.</p><p>'You could've warned me about it. I didn't have a chance to dress up' I stated a bit uncomfortable with the situation, making a few steps in his direction. A pair of blue eyes roamed over my body shamelessly and I retied the robe on my waist instinctively as if it could've helped my "outfit".</p><p>'Nah, why? I'm good with that' the corners of his mouth were lifted as he was suppressing a wide smug smirk, nodding at the robe I was wearing. I cleared my throat, feeling myself getting nervous under his glance, and walked closer to sit down on the sofa across from him. The coffee table between us could barely hold all the fruits, croissants, toasts, and waffles for any taste along with coffee, milk, honey, and chocolate all served in porcelain dishes and cups with golden straps over it. Observing the table, I was debating between being too nervous to eat and too hungry at the sight not to.</p><p>'Try the waffles, those are my favorites' Marshall spoke again behind the newspaper, watching my reaction, taking a bite of the fruit from the plate and putting it to his mouth. The action a little childish but warm at the same time, making me surprised. I never expected to see that attitude from him but I guess, the kiss changed something. Oh yeah, fuck, the kiss. The surprise from Marshall's sudden appearance was replaced by the awkwardness and I stole a bite of the waffle with my fingers, mirroring him. Taking another newspaper and pretending to read to hide my blush from him, I was mentally begging for an escape.</p><p>'Yeah, the waffles are great' I mumbled maybe a little too unsure, receiving a chuckle from him in response. For a moment we were sitting, reading the newspapers or pretending to read them, but when I couldn't hold myself back from stealing my glance at him, I caught two eyes already staring at me playfully above the paper.</p><p>'Any good news?' he asked slyly with a mocking slipping from his tongue, throwing the newspaper away, glance looking at me with no intention to hide. There was a pleasant, exciting tension between the two of us. It tasted just like waffles with cream, syrup, and berries on top that I so desperately wanted to take a bite of but was too hesitant to do that. But it looked like Marshall had other plans.</p><p>'It is said that the hotel room some lady stayed in was broke into this morning by Eminem with the enormous amount of food and no shame' I uttered wryly, covering my chest with a newspaper to protect myself from his smug behavior. The only problem was that I enjoyed that too much and it was unforgivable for him to notice.</p><p>'Such a scandal' Marshall snorted, grinning and taking another bite of whatever was on the table. I was too distracted by his glance of blue teasing eyes to notice what exactly. 'Any commentaries from the poor girl?' he cocked an eyebrow playfully, running the game I started and I felt a pleasant shiver down my spine. He was a huge distraction and the memory of his touch didn't help much.</p><p>'Oh, she refused to give any comments' I said simply, acting serious and lowering my eyes from his at the table, taking a cup with coffee in my hand and putting the newspaper aside. 'She decided to go straight to the police or even worse' I made a fake terrified grimace, making him chuckle. No matter how nervous I was, having that delicious bunter between us was the best thing in the world. The way I was feeling him was something thrilling and exciting, making my pulse speed up and my body tense uncontrollably.</p><p>'What's worse?' he asked, acting up to me with fake concern.</p><p>'She didn't tell' I shrugged. 'Probably, calling Paul Rosenberg'.</p><p>His face was instantly painted by a wide smirk, eyes never leaving me with his posture relaxed on the sofa. Arms in tattoos laying lazily, toned, muscled stomach with a famous "Rot In Peaces" and the attitude that was scaring and attracting me at once. Looking at Marshall sitting in front of me like that, I caught myself on the dangerous thought that I would've like to see that kind of picture every morning.</p><p>'That's ruthless' he chortled in response.</p><p>'Well, the Eminem guy deserves this' in a mindless action, I made a sip of my coffee from the cup and crossed my legs. Leaning at the backrest of the sofa, I immediately caught Marshall's glance traveling to my ankles, then to the knees up to the partly exposed thighs. The cup froze near my lips. Oh fuck...</p><p>'Oh no, he hasn't done anything criminal yet' he answered in a more serious tone, eyes flashing with something else than just a tease, the word "yet" hanging in the electrified air between us. I felt it becoming heavier with a sudden increase of tension and remembered the touch of his vividly. The kiss replayed once more from the start to the last second in my mind when his gaze didn't let me look away and it seemed like we came to the thin line between the joke and reality.</p><p>'You are too far, come here'.</p><p>Marshall pronounced it in a toneless but polite voice after a small silent pause. As if he asked me to give him a fruit in front of the table he couldn't reach. I wouldn't have lied if I'd said he caught me off guard, making me put my cup back on the table under the gaze of his attentive eyes.</p><p>'Come on, I won't bite' he lowered his tone and this time it was smoky. I was shy in front of him and hesitant, that was the effect Marshall Mathers had on me with his confident and relaxed, teasing behavior. I'd been thinking about being closer to him from the moment he entered the room but had no right to do that. I wondered how many women had a chance to sit with him in the room, fighting the urge to be his but never being one. I was afraid to be just like them.</p><p>However, something in his glance was telling me to get up. There were just a few steps between the two sofas but he was right, for both of us it was too far to feel each other.</p><p>My bare feet on the fluffy carpet of the hotel room floor made no sound when I stepped closer. He raised his head at me, watching my unsure moves, lines of his features magnetizing my sight. But then his gaze changed with a dangerous sparkle and I suddenly felt myself like a mouse in front of the trap.</p><p>But I didn't have a chance to think about it because in a moment I felt his touch on me and just like that, gasping from surprise, I found myself sitting on his lap.</p><p>'That's much better'.</p><p>This time the throaty sound of his voice sent a pleasant vibration through my body as the words were pronounced right near my ear, forcing me to put both of my hands around his neck to steady myself. I must have closed my eyes from surprise because when I opened them, I saw two blue gentle orbs looking at me way too close. The color of them softened by the mild grey shadows of the hidden by the curtains New York morning.</p><p>'Marshall...' I said quietly without thinking, the first thing appearing on my mind that moment. Being alone with him, he was the only one I could think about.</p><p>'Yes, baby?'</p><p>Fuck, fuck, fuck... He didn't even pronounce it, he breathed that dangerously close to my face, not taking his glance from me, making the nervousness in my chest melt to the blush on my cheeks. One of his hands was on my lower back, holding me in place as if I hadn't already grasped his neck, while another found its way under my knee. A feather-light touch of his fingers stroking the skin under the robe up under my thigh.</p><p>'How did you sleep at night?' he continued, making me shiver from just the tone of his velvet voice, expression softened with the closeness we shared. The familiar fresh scent of his aftershave, urging me to tighten my grasp on him.</p><p>'Because I couldn't get you out of my head and almost didn't sleep at all'.</p><p>Oh Lord, I think those words turned around something in me. Hearing them was the best thing for that morning I could've possibly dreamt of even though I didn't dare to. He thought of me just like I thought of him and that was such a crazy thing to think about that I couldn't believe it. The intimacy of the position we were in was making it hard for me to think properly.</p><p>'I couldn't sleep too' I admitted, feeling smitten by the careful touch of Marshall's hands and just the way he was. The very first day we'd met, he came across to me as rude, sarcastic, the famous Mr "I don't give a fuck" and now, in that hotel room, all alone with me, he was a tender, attractively self-confident and damn, definitely sexy, man. The man I became so fond of in that short amount of time we'd spent together.</p><p>'Fuck, I knew it' a light smug half-smirk appeared on his lips as his hand tightened at my thigh a little, forcing me to feel the tension between the two of us just like my urge for him to do that more.</p><p>'I knew you were mine after that kiss'.</p><p>Mine... He looked at me seriously and his voice was confident as if he pronounced an already established factual statement but the soft undertones to it made it feel sweet and promising, careful and genuine. He called me "his" and just the way he pronounced that was enough for me to lose my mind completely.</p><p>'I never said I was yours' I told him back almost proudly, feeling an urge to say something not to be helpless and voiceless in his arms no matter how bad I wanted to succumb to all the charms of his. What if I already was one of those women he didn't respect? Someone like Roxy to keep his company for the night and then be a senseless thought in his mind he could've easily gotten rid of any time. I didn't want Marshall to treat me the way he treated her and still had no reasons to be an exception to the rule.</p><p>'Repeat that again' he answered simply, looking unimpressed with my response, making me puzzled again.</p><p>'I never said I was yours' I pronounced a little quieter this time as his glance dropped to my lips, forcing me to part them unintentionally.</p><p>'And now' his hand found my jaw, tracing it lightly with a thumb, making me almost close my eyes at the action. 'I need you to think about it once more' the phrase came out a bit hoarse as his hot breath touched my skin.</p><p>He bent his head to me painfully slowly, blue eyes leaving mine only to find my body and as I was watching every little move of his, I felt his lips touching mine in a slow but demanding movement.</p><p>It was an open-mouth kiss, sensual in its nature, completely different from the night before, making my head spin from the teasing, grazing moves of his lips on mine, making it nothing else but torture. He was making sure I was aware of it. The feel of the robe fabric between the two of us was making it a thin barrier between the chest of his and my half-naked body under it, running goosebumps to every inch of my skin as everything else was silent around.</p><p>'I need you to think about it now' he managed to say in between the kiss but I couldn't think about anything, except the feeling of his lips on mine and the closeness we shared on that sofa.</p><p>One of my hands went down his chest with no strength to hold myself back, the muscles reacting to my touch tensioning for a second. While doing it, the robe fell from my shoulder, shamelessly revealing the absence of the bra strap and I saw the change in his eyes as they flashed for a second.</p><p>At that second, I knew I wanted him.</p><p>My still a little wet hair from the shower brushed my bare shoulder but Marshall didn't let it hide the exposed skin. His lips went down my jaw to the spot under my ear and further, right to my neck, making me gasp quietly, his hand on my leg going up my thigh, stopping just inches away from the fabric of my lingerie, caressing the flesh in circling movements.</p><p>I found his short dark hair on the scalp with my fingers to draw him closer to where he was leaving soft kisses and small bites on my collarbone. Every touch of his lips was gentle and passionate, leading me to the edge, making me forget where I was and what I was supposed to do. I never imagined it feeling like that just after the second kiss we shared and still I was there, ready to beg him not to stop if he'd ever had such intentions. I melted from the way he was treating me and it made me realize that I'd never been kissed like that before.</p><p>But as it always happens, when  Marshall's lips returned to mine and his hands were about to go under my robe further, we heard a loud knock on the door. At first, we were too into each other to pay attention but then the knock was followed by a voice:</p><p>'Ella, are you there? You have to open right now, we need to talk to you!'</p><p>Marshall and I both knew that a little overdramatic high tone with Denaun Porter being the proud owner of it. From the shuffling and continuing knock, we had no doubts about Royce being just right there. And they had no intention to leave that easily. Oh God, if they only knew!</p><p>'Motherfuckers' Marshall cursed with a pissed off expression, leaving my lips and making me giggle quietly. 'What?' he asked me with a small smirk, cocking his eyebrow at me. 'They just have that weird-ass thing about them ruining everything. Let's ignore them, you ain't home' he furrowed his eyebrows, dismissing the subject and trying to kiss me again.</p><p>'Ella, are you sleeping there or something?' we heard Denaun talking once more with persistence in his voice. Marshall cursed into my lips again, laying his head irritatingly in my neck, sending a shiver down my spine for the hundredth time that morning. No, I was definitely far from sleeping.</p><p>'I go, stop knocking' I had to answer loudly and tried to get up no matter how much I wanted to stay in Marshall's arms but I felt his hands not letting me go. Damn...</p><p>'No, don't open, they'll just give up and go away' he pronounced in a serious tone, blue eyes finding mine expectedly. That exact moment I noticed how handsome his features looked in the poor light of a cloudy morning. Oh no, it all was actually a dream, wasn't it?</p><p>'You know they won't' I smiled lightly, releasing myself from his grip and making my way to the door with my heart beating furiously. Tying my robe properly again, I knew I probably had a bright red blush on my cheeks but instead of thinking about it, I just turned the lock to open the door. In a minute I was faced with two dorks making their way into my room.</p><p>'For God's sake, Ella, haven't you heard us knocking? This is an urgent thing!'</p><p>Denaun greeted me with a furrowed brows and loud complaints as he and Royce went straight in the room to the sofa near the coffee table where the annoyed Marshall was already waiting for them.</p><p>'Good, you are here too, Marshall. I want you to hear this' Denaun had no surprise on his face probably way too busy with something to notice the fact that Marshall was half-naked at ten in the morning in my room. He sat down, taking a bite of the same waffles Marshall recommended as Royce joined him with a light-hearted expression and somehow knowing grin, giving me the "I knew it" look. Well...</p><p>'What are you two doing here? This is the worst timing' Marshall spoke bluntly, not even trying to hide his irritation. I was watching it, suppressing a smile, walking back to join them.</p><p>'Stop being a jerk, Marshall. I've told you, it's urgent, I need Ella's advice so shut up and listen' Denaun snorted unimpressed with Marshall's comment, chewing the waffles and gathering every item of food he could've found on the plate in front of him. 'Are you blind or what? I'm stressed. Thank God you have food' he added, sighing loudly and putting as much as he could've in the mouth to chew.</p><p>'Yes, thank God because he's been on the edge the whole morning' Royce said in a bit wry tone that was just enough for Marshall and me to notice it and Denaun being completely oblivious to it.</p><p>'What happened?' I managed to ask carefully, sitting on the sofa at a decent distance from Marshall not sure how to act and trying not to look at him. I saw him taking a look at me and hiding a smirk, though.</p><p>'I'm telling you, Ella' Denaun continued, not even raising his head from the food on the table. 'Remember that chick from the club on Chad's birthday?'</p><p>'Yeah, I think I do' I mumbled, recalling in my mind a funny picture of drunk Denaun with some stripper girl all over him. 'Ciara?'</p><p>'Yes, exactly!' Denaun exclaimed way too excited, making all three of us exchange weird glances. 'So, we've been texting for some time now and she came to my place a few times after that party, you know what I mean?' he grinned to himself, taking a sip of coffee. 'And you know it was just all fun and chill'.</p><p>'Oh yeah, both of you were telling you loved each other at Chad's party. Seems like fun and chill to me' Royce commented sarcastically, throwing a piece of fruit in his mouth, eyes laughing at us.</p><p>'Fuck off, Royce! Don't you dare even talk about her' Denaun snapped as serious as he could and I had to cover my smile with my hand, watching his furious expression.</p><p>'Man, chill' Royce chuckled, making a frightening grimace at Denaun. Fools. 'You are wild today'.</p><p>'Because you don't know how to shut up when I ask you to' Denaun answered with a pissed off tone, finishing the waffles.</p><p>'How ironic that I hear it from you' Royce rolled his eyes at him, inviting a disaster in a form of Denaun's anger.</p><p>'Oh fuck, cut the bullshit. Porter, tell what you want and leave already' it was Marshall's turn to show irritation as he put on his usual scowl. The picture of it instantly reminded me how gentle and careful he'd been with me just ten minutes earlier and I had to look away not be caught staring.</p><p>'So as I was telling' Denaun continued, ignoring Marshall's persistence in making them leave. It was almost ridiculous how he didn't notice basically everything. 'We were just hanging out and fucking around and then you know what she says?' he raised his eyebrows in a terrified look, making me raise mine too.</p><p>'What?'</p><p>'She told me she wants to be my girl! Imagine that shit?!'</p><p>I didn't know how I managed to remain serious that moment because Denaun's face was frightened as if he'd seen a ghost. The way he pronounced that was something I expected the least, preparing myself for something bad. Well, relationships can be a scary thing, right?</p><p>'And why do you look so terrified of it? You like her, don't you?' I said softly, trying to soothe and calm him down. I couldn't deny that in some way it was adorable and had a genuine urge to help him. I think I was starting to grow friends with Royce and Denaun and the thought of it was pleasant.</p><p>'I do, yes' Denaun sighed heavily, giving up eating and raising his sad glance at me. 'But I got so used to those random fucks and casual hanging out that I don't think I'm gonna be able to have a normal relationship with her. You know what I'm saying?'</p><p>'You can not believe me but I get it' I nodded sympathetically, remembering my own fear of getting together with someone. The reasons were different but I had it before the whole Jake story and maybe, in some way, it was one of the things that ruined everything for us. I didn't want the same happening to Denaun.</p><p>'You do?'</p><p>'Yes. But you have to try and see for yourself' I looked at him reassuringly, thinking of the proper words. 'If you think she's worth it, then just go for her, don't wait. If things won't work, at least you tried. But if you don't, then you might regret it later. You know?' I saw Denaun nodding in a weak agreement and felt something in my chest tightening. 'It's okay to be scared but don't let it get ahold of you. It's easy to miss someone important because of it' my voice was unfamiliar and I felt Marshall's eyes on me. I didn't dare to look straight at him but his stare was attentive as if studying me and I had to concentrate on Denaun again not to feel uncomfortable. I'd never spoken on things like that with them before.</p><p>'Okay, maybe, you are right' Porter sighed again but this time not so resignedly. 'Thanks, Ella, I knew I could talk to you. You don't laugh at me like Royce'.</p><p>'What? I just can't help it' Royce chortled, raising his hands on defense as I mumbled "You are welcome", feeling warmness coming to my insides. It was strange but something about that morning was special and I didn't want it to end.</p><p>'Okay, but, Marshall, what are you doing in Ella's room half-naked?' Denaun suddenly woke up from his dream about Ciara to notice the obvious and making me turn red immediately.</p><p>'Try to guess' Royce wiggled his eyebrows, making the awkwardness in the room even stronger. But while I was embarrassed as fuck, Marshall had a whole another reaction.</p><p>'None of your business' he answered nonchalantly, the tone of his voice having no mercy. I wish I could be more like him in those kinds of situations.</p><p>'I still don't understand what the fuck is going on' Denaun's said hesitantly, looking puzzled and I think that was still the effect of his own worries. 'But I'm surprised that you still sit here. Haven't you heard the news?' he added, looking at Marshall, and I sent him a worried look. What the hell could've happened this perfect cloudy New York morning?</p><p>'What news?' Marshall furrowed his eyebrows in obvious lack of understanding, looking at Denaun puzzled.</p><p>'Hell, you could've waited before saying it. Don't you see he's occupied here?' Royce intervened, giving Denaun a secret look and stressing "occupied" with his fingers in the air.</p><p>'Fuck that shit, man. What happened?' Marshall asked Royce with a serious, concerned note in his voice. I felt myself tensioning too.</p><p>'Nothing horrible, even funny I'd say' Royce grinned as if enjoying a secret joke he only knew about.</p><p>'Turn on the TV, Shady, and be ready to jump in the booth. Looks like your lovely ex Mariah decided to diss you'.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well, well, well. Okay, maybe, you won't like such a turn of events but I've figured it's 2009 and why not revisit the classic beef, you know? I feel like that could be interesting to explore, what do you think?</p><p>Anyways, please, leave a like or comment to express your opinion on the chapter and encourage me to continue and post frequently. Huge thanks for waiting and supporting me, giving the feedback. I really appreciate that!</p><p>Love you all❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. The warnings and the escapes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I might have thought that waking up in Eminem's arms was something close to a dream. And it certainly was since the light of the LA's morning found me all alone in my bed. I would've lied saying that after the conversation we'd shared the night before I didn't expect that. I surely did.</p><p>I do have to say, though, that I'd never had a chance to feel so precious in someone's presence before. It wasn't much and nothing completely promising but just the fact that he came to my room that night and slept on my bed, holding me so gently, made the butterflies rise in my stomach as I woke up. It didn't even matter that much that it wasn't supposed to mean anything and everything became even more tangled. I just wanted to enjoy that memory.</p><p>The whole house showed no sign of Marshall as Denaun and Royce told me he'd left for Dre's home studio early in the morning. And we had to meet him there in the evening for a big dinner Young's family was serving. But the main dish was surely cooked by Marshall and Mariah had to be the one to soon swallow it. We were all patiently waiting for the diss track.</p><p>My favorite dorks didn't dare to ask me questions this time. They might have noticed Marshall going to my room or leaving it the next day, so in that case, they would've made their conclusions. I spotted them whispering to each other something while looking at me at the breakfast but didn't think much of it. After all, despite being dorks, they were also world-class weirdos.</p><p>The house Paul rented for us to stay in had a lot of options to spend our time. I even promised myself to try the swimming pool the next day just to enjoy LA's sun. In California, it was almost summer and the weather was nothing but hot. The thought of it made my mind travel to Detroit. </p><p>It all felt more like some weird vacation. Escape from the world or whatever it could be called. Everything froze for a couple of days since the morning Marshall had knocked at my apartment door in the early morning, and I wasn't sure that I was eager to come back to reality. I had some writing to work on, a Josh case to deal with, Diana to talk to and Jeff to report on everything. I think the problem was that I kind of forgot it was all my work and I knew that returning to Earth would have been difficult. But I was still in LA, so...</p><p>Denaun and Royce kept my company the whole day and when it was time to go to Dre's, we all hopped in the car, listening to some shitty Bizzare demo and cracking jokes at it for the whole road. The California view behind the window was making it all feel somehow more carefree and exciting. The only thing I could have wished for was Marshall by my side. But perhaps, that was too much to ask for those crazy days to have him close to me 24/7.</p><p>Dr Dre lived in a huge gorgeous mansion that was rather classic and surely way bigger than Marshall's. Maybe, it was connected to the fact that Dre had a bigger family and a habit to serve dinners from time to time, inviting all the friends from the circle and a lot of good acquaintances. Or maybe, he was used to expensive things a lot more than Marshall, Jimmy Iovine probably learned him a lot about money. At first glance, the house came across to me as a beautiful place and a loving home. And I hoped it to be my last and final opinion.</p><p>Dre's wife, Nicole, met us at the gates with open arms. It was hard to see what type of person she was in reality but her polite smile and what seemed like a genuine welcoming attitude gave me a rather good than a bad impression. And so did the kids.</p><p>But I wasn't there to judge no one's life or look behind the closed curtains. After all, my work was connected to Eminem and I was glad it to stay that way so when Nicole poured me and the guys some drinks, we were directed right to Dre's home studio. Unsurprisingly, Marshall and Andre were working there as usual.</p><p>'Hell yeah, that shit is crazy! Are you sure you want to put that out?'</p><p>Entering the studio, we heard Dre's voice speaking in a high amazed tone and stopped in our tracks to see Marshall and Dre sitting next to the mixing board with the last sounds of some beat drowning in the air. Marshall had his expression serious and frowned, looking at the board, and Dre was staring at him with raised brows and an amused face.</p><p>'Of course, I want to put that out. That bitch shot a fucking video, saying I am obsessed with her ass and lying that we weren't shit' Marshall's response was passionate and close to angry, implying no mercy. And I thought that I wouldn't want him to use it on me on any occasion. But when he suddenly turned his head to see three of us standing at the entrance, I saw a smirk creeping up to his lips and fading his bad mood for a little. I knew it wasn't the best sign for me either, though. Just in a different way.</p><p>'Oh, look who is here. Ms Journalist wanna see me destroying Mariah?'</p><p>A sarcasm left his lips in a playful manner and his eyes found mine across the room. A knowing twinkle was hiding in a blue color of his orbs as if saying "That's right, baby, we spent the night together", mocking me with the actual meaning of it. Nothing happened between us that night but still, the kind of closeness we shared was crossing the line between me just working for him and this undeniable fact. We weren't a thing, everyone shouldn't have known. But he wanted to play a little and as much as I was uncomfortable with that, something enjoyable was in that mixed feeling.</p><p>'First of all, I've told you this nickname is embarrassing for you' I snorted mockingly and let myself a small smirk, looking back at him. At that moment I couldn't distinguish anyone else in the room, even though besides Dre, Royce, and Denaun, there were also a few engineers. In a bad habit of mine, I was interested only in his reaction. 'Second of all, are you sure you'll destroy her? I mean, that parody on you was quite strong' I made a fake thoughtful face, catching the grin growing on Marshall's lips deliciously, and when he licked them briefly, I wished we were alone in that studio.</p><p>'I give you my word he will' Dre intervened in the conversation before Marshall could say something, adding a welcoming smile to it and standing up from his spot to greet all of us. After the conversation we'd had on his dinner in Detroit, somehow I felt a lot more comfortable with meeting Dre again. At least, this time I could say I knew him for a bit. 'Good to see you again, Ella'.</p><p>'It's mutual. Thank you for having us here' I smiled softly and just a bit shyly, receiving that much attention at once. Marshall was watching the scene with that same smug smirk, and I could feel the glance of his light blue eyes right on my face. Well...</p><p>'It's my pleasure' Dre nodded with a small grin and drawing his attention to Denaun who was already talking to one of the engineers or better to say, arguing with him about something. Royce was trying to solve the problem but all the attempts seemed to be in vain. 'What the hell are you doing there with my staff, you fools? Leave them alone and don't touch anything'.</p><p>'Wasn't about to' Denaun made a grimace, sitting on the couch not far from the mixing board with an irritated facial expression. 'Your engineer thinks he knows shit. But he's talking to a legend. I produced the fucking "P.I.M.P." record, bitch!' he added way too passionately, making me chuckle a little. Royce beside him rolled his eyes annoyed:</p><p>'Yeah, yeah, we remember that. Now shut up'.</p><p>'Which reminds me of us making someone shut up forever' Marshall chuckled playfully, giving me a knowing wink, and it was crazy how drastically his behavior changed after we'd kissed. Now he didn't mind making me blush here and there no matter how many people were in the room. 'Ella, sit down and take a listen. Be ready to have an answer to your question' he added teasingly, looking directly at me for a little too long as his features were sharpened devilishly. Somehow my name always managed to sound soft and sweet on his lips, and his voice was my constant trouble.</p><p>But while being in that weird trance Marshall put me in, from the side, I've noticed Dre, Royce, and Denaun sharing weird glances. They were watching and listening carefully to our interaction and the change in Marshall's behavior didn't slip from them. Fantastic, first it was whispers at breakfast, and now this. Staying undercover wasn't an option as it seemed.</p><p>'I'm ready' I tried to answer as indifferent as possible, finding me a chair, and watched Marshall biting his cheek satisfyingly and pressing the button to put on the track. I had to ignore all the other thoughts and concentrate on listening. So, here we go.</p><p>
  <em>Only reason I dissed you in the first place</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Is cause you denied seeing me, now I'm pissed off</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sit back, homie, relax...</em>
</p><p>The intro started to come through as Marshall leaned his back on the chair and put hands on his stomach to watch our reactions attentively. Except, his attention was mainly focused on mine, and the words were coming a little slur for me at first but then...</p><p>
  <em>Wow, Mariah, didn't expect you to go balls out</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Bitch, shut the fuck up before I put all them phone calls out</em>
</p><p>He had his expression in a smug grin, listening to the beat, and I could see that was the kind of enjoyment that comes after revealing everybody the truth. He genuinely wanted to destroy Mariah, I could see it in his orbs. But more not because of hating her but because it was fair.</p><p>
  <em>Oh, on the contrary, Marry Poppins, I'm mixing our studio</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Session down and sendin' it to mastering to make it loud</em>
</p><p>'Oh, shit' Denaun laughed, commenting and covering his mouth with a palm to hold back the further excitement. I could relate to that.</p><p>What's interesting, the more the track was progressing, the more I was getting a lot more uncomfortable in my seat. The things he was revealing about their sex and just the way he was putting all of this together made it impossible for me to doubt his connections to Mariah. And I knew he could see my reaction perfectly across the room, and I knew he wasn't about to hide anything.</p><p>
  <em>...but if I'm embarrassing me</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'm embarrassing you and don't you dare say it isn't true</em>
</p><p>As passionate about the truth he sounded on the track, I could see another side of Marshall that proved him not being a liar. It made me think that as much as unpleasant was the reality, he was sincere with me just like he was in the case with Mariah. For the short period of time we'd known each other I heard nothing but his directness: when he was rude to me, when he admitted being jealous, when he kissed me at the party. No matter what was the reason, he was always telling me what he was thinking, and I could clearly see that in his manner and emotions.</p><p>
  <em>Damn, Slim, Mariah played you, Mariah who?</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Oh, did I say "whore", Nick? I meant a liar too</em>
</p><p>'Fuck, man' Royce chortled in awe, putting his hand on his forehead and widening his eyes.</p><p>
  <em>It's a warning shot, 'fore I blow up your whole spot</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Call my bluff and I'll release every fucking thing I got</em>
</p><p>Marshall was going insane on the beat and when the female voice appeared on the song, at first, I was confused, trying to remember who it reminded me of. But when I turned my glance to meet Marshall's again, he was already looking at me with one of the evilest smirks I'd seen on him. His blue mocking eyes sent a shocking electric spark inside my body, and I realized the crazy thing: it was actually Mariah.</p><p>
  <em>(I love you) I love you too</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Let me whisper sweet nothings into your ear, boo</em>
</p><p>Maybe, it was the first time when I actually understood what kind of a man spent a night in my bed, and what he was capable of. Listening to the first three albums of his, I learned a lot about his history and I knew that the stories he was telling there were nothing but true. His poverty, his mom, his kids, Kim... It all was painting a vivid picture of a person he was and I often felt intrigued, scared, and thrilled by it as if it wasn't his life but a well-shot masterpiece of a movie. And now, in that studio, he was using real Mariah Carey voicemails to reveal the world truth about their relationship because he could and had a right to. When Marshall or something he loved was humiliated, nobody was safe from his anger. And in that case, he loved the truth.</p><p>
  <em>(Oh and Em?) Yeah, I'm right here</em>
  <br/>
  <em>(You like this) Nope, not anymore dear</em>
</p><p>I think he didn't get his eyes off of me at all for the whole song. When the outro was playing with a clear fragment of Mariah's voicemail, I felt like leaving my spot. Too many thoughts were circling in my head, and with Marshall watching me it was difficult to process everything. It's liked I adored what he did to her and was scared by it simultaneously. After all, I'd already witnessed him in the glory of his rage, and that diss track was one of the results of his emotions towards Mariah. What if one day it could be towards me?</p><p>'Goddamn it, that was fire!' Denaun exclaimed excitedly, barely able to sit on his spot. 'Can't wait for Mariah to hear that. I'm sure she will shut her mouth for a long long time'.</p><p>'Well, she can open it once a year on Christmas if she wants to' Marshall answered wryly, receiving a laugh from everyone and bringing attention back to me. 'So, any response from the media?' he raised his eyebrow playfully, challenging me to say something opposite from what he already knew. He destroyed her, no doubt, so there was no reason to hide the obvious.</p><p>'I'm not a diss track expert but even I think that it was hard' I said calmly, hiding my eyes from him. 'Is this Mariah's voice for real?'</p><p>'As Dr Dre says, hell yeah' Marshall nodded arrogantly. Well, looks like before going at him, Mariah had had no idea about the ace up his sleeve. Or maybe, she just decided to play in the game she wasn't suitable for.</p><p>'Well, enough with Mariah. This diss is gonna be the death of her so we still have dinner to eat. Nicole said everything is ready and a couple of friends arrived' Dre stood up from his spot, pronouncing it more like an order for us to follow and I was actually happy for him to snap me out of this thinking state.</p><p>'I'm not Denaun but I would be glad to have some dinner for sure' Royce made a fake thoughtful stoical expression and stood up too as if ready for action. I wouldn't say I wasn't a bit hungry but with Marshall in the room, it was just a background thought. Even though it shouldn't have been.</p><p>'For real, after such a slaughter I'm starving!' Denaun answered loudly with a stone-serious face, implying no joking and I was ready to believe in it with a chortle. Foolish.</p><p>'Then follow me' Dre grinned satisfyingly, sharing a glance with everyone and making his way to the door. The engineers got up too, finishing their work, and along with Royce and Denaun soon followed Dre. I wasn't sure why I remained sitting in the chair for a little longer than it was necessary, but somehow I felt him wanting me to stay. And when I finally stood up and started making my way towards the door, with my side glance, I could see a smirk returning to his lips. Oh, God, I knew it.</p><p>'So, you are not waiting for me?'</p><p>I heard his soft and teasing now tone stopping me not far from the door as his steps appeared right behind me. I think I should have been glad that everyone was too wrapped up in the idea of having a delicious meal and being absolutely sure of us following them right along. Or maybe, I should have called myself stupid because there was no appropriate reason for us to stay in Dre's studio longer than needed. And still, I stopped, turning around to face him.</p><p>'I thought you would keep up with me' I hid a small smile in between my lips, enjoying my lie. We both knew I was so slow with leaving because he wanted me to. Because sleeping in his arms was the best thing happening to me for a while and it was impossible to avoid that fact.</p><p>'I had to leave early for the studio today. Didn't want to wake you up' he changed the topic abruptly, making his voice sound gentler and the glance of the blue clear eyes looked at me openly. I didn't expect him to speak on the night before. Considering the outcome of the conversation, I thought we would have made it seem like nothing happened. Where was this going, though?</p><p>'Yeah, I thought so' I answered quietly a bit confused, watching his beloved smirk growing on me. What if I had a right to talk and touch him without permission every single day and not be scared of my own answers? The thought was alluring but yet unrealistic. Unfortunately.</p><p>'Had a great sleep?' he raised an eyebrow at me cunningly, not coming closer, but the grin on his lips was enough to feel his energy. Or not enough at all.</p><p>'Yes, I did' I said confidently, challenging him with a little raise of my chin. He probably expected me to say "no" in a habit of mine but I needed to tell him that. And nobody was checking on us that minute, weird? 'What about you?'</p><p>'Quite well considering my constant insomnia' Marshall pronounced in a velvety promising tone, and I couldn't believe that sincerity. He had mentioned having a lot of sleepless nights when I was at his house and even then I felt a little concerned by it. Now it was hard to imagine he could have slept well with me.</p><p>'Well, I'm glad to hear that' I uttered softly, maybe even a little too tender for my usual tone but I saw his features easing from the playful mood to a new, unreadable one which held some unknown emotion for me. I could feel the talk dying down between us and we had to come up with a way to continue it or just leave as soon as possible. And so Marshall spoke.</p><p>'You know, this house has a few exits, actually. And I was thinking that I haven't been to LA beach for a while now. How about we just escape?'</p><p>To say I was taken aback would have been a misunderstanding. At that moment, I thought that I heard something wrong. The last few days had the ability to make my ground replace the sky and just turn the world upside down. It was the kiss in the hallway, the making out on the couch of my hotel room, the hug, and the heated moment in my bed that were fucking with my head, refusing to let go. This time it was just another level of his unpredictable behavior. Did he want to spend the evening with me?</p><p>'Wouldn't it be rude to leave when they are waiting for us?' I asked hesitantly, not sure what to say in the response. Of course, I was thrilled by the thought of escape with Marshall but how could I agree straight away? Maybe, it all was just one big mocking from him.</p><p>'They are probably thinking we are making out here by now so I wouldn't be that worried about it' he answered, chuckling lightly and lowering his glance for a moment to let my blush cover me with its brightest shade. No, no, no, something wasn't right. Why would they all cheer for us?</p><p>'Maybe it would be better to prove them wrong' I told him not sure of the situation. On one hand, it was pleasant to think that people around us were supporting any idea of a relationship we could have possibly had. But on the other hand, it all started to feel wrong as if I suddenly lost my title as a journalist. I might have caught up in this feeling myself way too much as well, letting others think of me differently. And nothing completely bad was about that as long as I could be a friend to others but when it came to Marshall it all was becoming difficult. The month of working with him wasn't endless and sooner or later I would have lost that feeling. And I was afraid that losing it would have been too painful.</p><p>'I know what you are worrying about' he sighed knowingly, possibly reading my thoughts. Or maybe, I just had all of it written on my face. 'But let's leave that for Detroit. We are returning there tomorrow anyway so why don't we just let loose, you know?'</p><p>Something tender was in his glance, revealing his softer side. It was like he wasn't pressuring me but asking about it and that fact somehow was making it feel genuine. Whatever was on Marshall Mathers' mind that minute, I was ready to trust him for that one evening. The trip broke a wall between us and we had a lot of things to return to. But we were still in LA. But there was still today before tomorrow. And I knew that no matter what was waiting for me further, I would have regretted refusing later. I just couldn't ignore the way I was drawn to him.</p><p>'I won't get all touchy if you are worried about that' Marshall grinned playfully, deceiving me with a twinkle in his blue orbs. He might have lied about it and to be completely honest, I hoped he did. 'I got your point from the talk we had so it all will be deeply <em>platonic</em>' his smirk grew wider, mocking me with the emphasis on the last word and that was small but tasteful torture that I had to face. Guess, that was the price for not becoming just another girl he wanted to fuck and forget about.</p><p>'If you promise' I said seriously, avoiding the urge to break my pride and fall right into his arms. Oh, the pride.</p><p>'I do' he nodded quite convincingly, and his eyes stopped on mine for a moment. Well, looks like I believed.</p><p>'Let's go'.</p><p>For sure we could feel like some professional spies or thieves, leaving Dre's house. It was huge and had a lot of hallways and rooms with the studio in the basement but Marshall was well familiar with it. He made an order for me to stay quiet and follow him as fast as it was possible which appeared to be a difficult task for me since the whole situation felt a little funny. God, I was trying to leave Dr Dre's house unnoticed with Eminem to escape with him to the beach somewhere in the middle of LA. It was surely no the kind of work Jeff was preparing me for and I suppressed a giggle, with a single thought about it.</p><p>We really couldn't tell anybody that we were going somewhere together all of a sudden. It would have come across as inappropriate and there was too much explanation to give. Or to be exact, there was barely any explanation at all and that was the problem. That's why in about ten minutes we were panting inside Marshall's car, trying to catch our breaths from the fear of not being caught. And I couldn't hold back small laughter anymore.</p><p>'You are a bit crazy for real' I smiled unwittingly, giving him a side glance from under my eyelashes. I guess I've never done something that foolish before.</p><p>'That's probably the least crazy thing I could have thought of but now you know' Marshall nodded at me teasingly, starting the engine, and I would have lied, saying I didn't melt inside. There was no other person I could think of that I wanted to spend that evening with and there he was. With me.</p><p>We barely talked on the way to the beach. The car Marshall was driving was different from his usual Cadillac not to draw too much attention, but it had a radio and a few CDs that were enough to keep us company.</p><p>To tell the truth, I was surprised by how natural it was. To look behind the window at the California scenery before the sunset, listen to the West Coast hip hop I wasn't familiar with but enjoyed the sound and know that Marshall was beside me. I caught myself on a thought that I got used to our rides in Detriot a lot, and it all started to feel warm and habitual. Which I knew was pleasant but dangerous for me.</p><p>Marshall bought us dinner at some local restaurant since we so rudely dismissed Dre's and we decided to bring it along to eat at the beach. The sun was starting to set down in the ocean, coloring the sky in crimson and purple shades, promising a storm the next day but leaving hope for a quiet and bright night. Marshall knew some deserted beach on the shore of LA and when we found it, there was really no one to look at. Except for the rose golden waves of the immense ocean and a colorful cloudless sky above it.</p><p>'Maybe, it was really worth it' I admitted softly when we got out of the car, and my glance found the beautiful picture of the sunset in front of us. The water appeared to be very close and nothing but welcoming. I'd been to LA a few times before but not like that. The sunsets were always pretty but used to feel differently, and perhaps, it was all this madness surrounding me that month to blame for.</p><p>'Do you bring all the girls you like to this place, though?' I added with a hint of a tease in my tone, and he chuckled in response instantly, looking in front of himself at the scenery.</p><p>'Oh yeah, sure, everyone and each of them. You know, I'm the type to make even my hoes feel special. I'm putting a lot of effort in this shit' he snorted with a sarcasm escaping his mouth deliciously and mercilessly, just like I enjoyed it.</p><p>'Aren't the sunsets and things like that are "corny"?' I chortled, mimicking his manner of talking.</p><p>'It's called romantic, dear' he faked a condescending face, making me giggle, and I thought that even though it was new and weird for us, somehow it felt... Easy?</p><p>'Why are we standing and watching here, though? Are you in for a dip?'</p><p>He added the invitation simply, deceiving me with the casualty of the offer. Damn, he was playing with me, and the outcome could have been me losing.</p><p>'I didn't bring any swimsuit. I think I'll pass' I answered cautiously, watching his profile on the background of the ocean. Something exciting was in my chest, it was like I agreed beforehand but was unsure how to admit that to myself. He got me wanting to do things completely out of my character and I was a bit afraid. But I loved it.</p><p>'Someone is playing a boring ass here' Marshall snorted contemptuously, making a fool of me. It was a clear provocation and we both knew it but it didn't matter that much when his eyes were so warm and playful with me. 'Stand here and watch as I enjoy the water then, loser'.</p><p>He smirked at me enigmatically and then I saw him taking his shirt off in a matter of seconds so I could observe his toned chest bare in front of me, muscles perfectly defined in the very birth of twilight, reminding me of the feeling of them under my fingers the night before. The pants were long gone soon after that and all the clothes except his boxers were left alone on the sand, allowing me to admire the image of his undoubtedly well-shaped figure. Catching my glance on his body, Marshall's smirk widened, and he made a welcoming gesture towards the ocean once more before going into the water.</p><p>I watched his posture going further and further from me in the subtle waves of the slowly darkening golden water and couldn't resist the thought that I wanted to follow him. I had my black, a bit lacy underwear on which was decent enough to play the role of a swimsuit but it still wasn't the best one and certainly not the sexiest one to choose. I was a bit unsure about being half-naked in front of him but we'd already been that almost close to naked before so it shouldn't have been such a big deal. Right?</p><p>'Are you coming or not? The water is good' he called me from the water teasingly, laying on his back and making a few backward swims, relaxing on the warm surface of the ocean, magnetizing me with his movements.</p><p>Well, fuck it. It seemed like Detroit and reality were postponed for tomorrow. And now I had to just enjoy this beautiful LA illusion.</p><p>I stripped out of my clothes the fastest I could, avoiding the fact that Marshall could have stared at me, and made my way to the water too, feeling the soft velvet sand under my feet.</p><p>The water was sun-kissed with the colors of the sky of the passing day and when I started to go further into it, I felt it embracing my body with the feathery gentle sensation, tracing the flesh with its touch. I was never very good at swimming so my moves were careful and slow until I raised my head to spot Marshall watching me.</p><p>His blue eyes were set on me as I kept going into the water, feeling it tickling my stomach, and the nervous feeling inside me was getting stronger and stronger as he was patiently waiting for me. There was no more smirk on his features, muscled shoulders and sculpted neck covered in the drops of the water, asking for me to touch and hold on to. Posture slim and strong, glamoring me by his essence.</p><p>With my poor swimming skills, only Marshall's presence could make me feel safe in the water, and I wished for contact. But we had it discussed and in that state between us, it wasn't a good idea.</p><p>'Come closer to me. Need any help?'</p><p>His tone was completely serious and a bit hoarse this time, covering my skin with goosebumps under the water, and I made a few careful swims towards him, trying not to take my glance off of Marshall even for a moment. When I stopped, he was in the reach of a hand from me, raising the tension between us, and somehow I felt lost in it. We were alone for what seemed like miles around as I could hear only the gentle sounds of the waves and that was intoxicating.</p><p>'No thanks, I'm just not a good swimmer' I admitted with a small smile, noticing the drops of water running right along his sharp jawline and neck after some swimming. Goddamn it. What did I get myself into?</p><p>'Well, then I regret the thing I promised you earlier even more now' he answered in his silvery voice, a little muffled by the atmosphere. He was looking at me attentively, studying my expression, with his blue orbs reflecting the water and I could feel my body tensioning as if craving for touch as a form of release. The waves were licking my skin tenderly and he was close but yet so distant. It was pure soft violence.</p><p>'Why?' I murmured, fascinated by his words. I knew the answer should have killed me.</p><p>'Because it would have been a perfect excuse to touch you when you look so <em>hot</em> in that underwear'.</p><p>Marshall's sentence stuck between us in a form of heavy silence as his glance was locked with mine. The ocean was calm and everything around was quiet, drowning in the last light of the day. His bluntness was all I truly needed and if not the unreadable look on his face, I would have thought it was all to make me jump in his arms. But it felt like he meant what he said and the realization was making my blood running faster inside my veins. It was a pity everything was so complicated for the two of us.</p><p>'It would have been' I repeated dumbly when none of us made a move. He was sticking to his word, and I was following the rules. The sky turned into a dusty purplish color.</p><p>'Right' he said simply, snapping us out of this awkward moment, unlocking our glances, and I felt a little disappointment inside my chest. I knew it was the right thing to do but...</p><p>Oh come on, there is always that stupid "but" and in our case, there were a lot of them.</p><p>'I wanted to ask you something, actually' he added more light-heartedly in a moment, changing the air around us, and watching his features softening, I let my body ease up a little, letting it float in the ocean. Despite the tension and his enigmatic urge to ask something serious, it made me think that escaping was really a good idea.</p><p>'Sure' I mumbled carelessly. Whatever he wanted to ask was getting my full attention, though.</p><p>'Were you scared of me when we were listening to Mariah's diss track in the studio?'</p><p>The question was unexpected and definitely strange to hear because that was basically the epitome of my thoughts. Marshall's expression was curious and expecting, looking at me. It wasn't like he could understand me perfectly but somehow he often was good at guessing my emotions and feelings. And maybe, that was just the result of me being predictable.</p><p>'I have to say that I had mixed feelings about it' I told him truthfully, feeling the pleasant sensation of the water on my body.</p><p>'I saw it while you were listening. But you shouldn't be scared' Marshall said convincingly with a gentle undertone to his velvet voice. His stare was clear and sincere all of a sudden.</p><p>'I hope so' I muttered, shrugging, taking in his lines in the water.</p><p>'I never come at someone who never did shit to me. Only when they do something, I spill it in my raps because that's how I express what I feel, you know?' he bent his head to one side as if taking a better look at me or trying to guess if I was understanding what he was explaining to me. I guess I was. 'I wanted to destroy Mariah cause she made a clown of me, some boy that she was too good to be talked about in one sentence. She <em>lied</em> and that's the worst fucking thing to me' he finished with a note of passion in his voice, watching my face.</p><p>'Yeah, I know, it's just sometimes you may be different when you are pissed off and I don't want to be a target if I do something wrong' I decided to tell him what was exactly on my mind since we were talking about it. It was better to discuss it openly cause there was something going on between us none of us could explain. It couldn't be a relationship, it couldn't be a hookup, it all eventually should have ended with us parting ways after the whole month would have passed. But he asked that as if worrying about my opinion and that seemed important.</p><p>'As long as you don't try to play me, you are safe' Marshall's expression turned into his habitual scowl for a moment as if remembering something unpleasant before coming back to normal. However, something dark appeared in his eyes.</p><p>'Otherwise, there are no limits'.</p><p>His voice stated it briefly but strongly, and I knew it was like that after the talk we had in my bed, it was just another warning to me. This time, though, I wasn't shocked by it, taking it just as a fact, ignoring the ephemeral fear of doing something wrong in the future. Of course, Marshall Mathers had a lot of things in him I should have been scared of. But damn, we still were at the beach in LA all alone, right?</p><p>'I'm gonna keep that in mind' I nodded, letting myself a small smirk to get him in his playful mood again. I enjoyed being around him too much to care about anything else that minute, and I hoped I wouldn't have regretted dismissing the topic.</p><p>'Then we'd better cut this serious bullshit and eat already cause I'm fucking hungry' he mirrored my smirk, leaning at his back and floating in the water lazily, closing his eyes with a comical expression. Adorable sight, not gonna lie.</p><p>'You started it' I let out a chortle, doing just like him and letting the water tickle my hungry for the touch skin. Lord, the hell we were doing around one another?</p><p>'But I'll finish it' he responded, chuckling, and made a few swims towards the shore to get out of the water, my eyes roaming over his muscled spine and shoulders in the drops of water glistening even without much light around. The wrong, completely wrong thought lingered in my mind at that picture. Oh, fuck it x2.</p><p>'Marshall?'</p><p>'Yes?'</p><p>I think it was the last thing he expected: for me to call his name just like that, simply. He immediately turned his head to me, stopping. I felt the excitement rushing inside me so pleasantly, so naturally. And damn, it was always like that only around him.</p><p>'I recall you offering some help. Not sure I'll be able to come back with my poor swimming skills so...'</p><p>The shore was on a decent distance from us to accomplish it pretty easily, without too much effort, but he talked about touching me and I was thinking about it that much that we just needed some poor cover for our crime actions. The cunning smile was on my a little cold from the water lips and he knew I was doing it on purpose, and I wasn't ashamed of it. I just wanted any possible contact and it didn't matter that all of that was silly and childish.</p><p>'Oh really?' a delicious, full of deviousness grin appeared on Marshall's face and he cocked his eyebrow at me questionably, knowing everything I felt in that moment between us. 'I thought you didn't need my help'.</p><p>'Well, now I do' I answered gently, looking at him from under my eyelashes, feeling the blush covering my cheeks for the hundredth time that day.</p><p>'Okay,' he suppressed his smirk growing. 'If the lady needs it'.</p><p>I think I hold my breath for a bit when he accomplished the distance between us, appearing that close to me so I could feel his hot breath imprinting on the skin of my neck and the water didn't help much because I still could feel the warmness radiating from his body and the fresh familiar scent of his. Marshall was taller than me so he could stand with his feet on the ground while I couldn't reach it, and his eyes were set on mine when he did what he did.</p><p>I felt his hands finding my frame under the water along with a shiver down my spine as he picked my body up, putting one of his hands under my knees and another on the small of my back. He whispered "Hold tight" in my ear softly, and I found myself putting my hands around his neck in an attempt to do what he said. So soon I was pressed to his chest under the water, barely able to hold myself back from touching the line of his jaw and neck with my lips.</p><p>I could feel the small grin on Marshall's expression as he was carrying me from the water slowly. The sky was turning into the dark blue above us, reminding us of the coming night, and even though getting out of the water was unpleasantly cold, in his arms I could feel myself trembling for a completely different reason. We were keeping a comfortable silence not to spook the things that were shouldn't have spoken about, and I was avoiding his glance, feeling his eyes on me from time to time. That evening I needed his touch probably more than any other because it was prohibited, but when I got it, I felt myself not wanting to let go.</p><p>'So, looks like it's the shore already' he told me with a slight tease quietly as if someone was listening, brushing his nose briefly near my earlobe. At that point, we'd already reached the sand but he was still holding me bridal style without letting go. I knew it was time to part and end this game of covering the obvious not to let things go further but all I wanted was to prolong that foolish game.</p><p>'Looks like it' I stated hesitantly, raising my glance at him, and my fingers traced his collarbone mindlessly. Damn it, if only he could be serious with me and felt the same as I did...</p><p>'So, maybe now you need some help on the shore too?'</p><p>His question was just mocking. Pure, tasty, and harmless. Which was only the addition to the playful spark in his orbs that had been following me since Dre's studio. LA trip for real seemed to be illusional and hard to believe while the escape was just another movie scene we were sharing.</p><p>But it felt like it was time to come back to the ground. In all the known definitions of that phrase.</p><p>'No, thank you. You've already done too much for me' I let out a small nervous chuckle, making him a sign to let me free from his grip, and he huffed with a fake annoyed expression, putting me down. His glance, though, was still studying all my movements.</p><p>'You wanted to eat, though. I think we should come back to the car and finally do that because...'</p><p>I mumbled all these words probably way faster than it should have been, so turning around to go in direction of the car, was cut short by Marshall's hand stopping me. In one swift movement, I was brought close to him again, meeting his glance with my surprised expression. His hand on my bare waist sent goosebumps down my skin as I inhaled his scent again. Oh...</p><p>'You do know that it all will happen between us <em>anyway</em>?'</p><p>His question burned my face with his hot breath close to me, and his expression was a little cunning but serious, walking on the edge between a tease and a simple truth. My heart fastened its pace drastically. He was disastrously close, just a few inches from my lips.</p><p>'It's just a matter of time' he added, holding me tightly, as the sky above the ocean was slowly fading into the full darkness. His proximity was making my head spin, and I couldn't see anything except for his features so close to me.</p><p>'And if we end up in the same bed <em>again</em>, unlike the last time, I'll make sure to finish what we started'.</p><p>Marshall's words left his lips in a confident, throaty tone along with two blue eyes, now darker at the lack of the daylight focused on my own ones. The nervous, almost exciting feeling appeared in my stomach, and I felt an urge to say something cheeky but his words were already too blunt.</p><p>'If' I repeated after a small pause, emphasizing it and sharing with him the air between our lips. Insanely.</p><p>'A month is not that long as it seems and you know that time is not the main problem'.</p><p>A small smirk appeared on his face as a response and he bit the inside of his cheek, chuckling softly. He was probably thinking that I was caring about the consequences too much and I was too predictable but I was just afraid to be used.</p><p>'You are a lot of work' he snorted playfully and that was a bit unexpected. 'You should have been impressed by the sunset and all of this shit already and just give up' a joking sigh left his mouth and he bent his head with a sly look slowly, placing a mindless feathery kiss on my shoulder, making my body weaken at that little gesture. God...</p><p>'I will go get the food, though, because Dre and those fools might be actually looking for us'.</p><p>'Go ahead, I'll wait here' I answered a bit dumbly, letting myself out of his grip and catching his smirk once again. It was unbearable to be around him like that.</p><p>As Marshall went to the car, I found my clothes on the sand and sat down, throwing my glance at the ocean in front of me. The water was almost completely dark, still holding some violet undertones, and the surface was calm and peaceful even though the small clouds started to appear on the horizon. It was the first sign of the coming storm but I decided to dispel the thought of it, reaching to my jeans on the sand to find my phone.</p><p>The screen lit up with an enormous amount of notifications about the missed calls and a message. Playing the game of guesses, I won, spotting Josh's name on them. Opening up a message with some unpleasant guilty feeling in my chest, I read, preparing for the worst:</p><p>"Ella, I've been calling you for 3 days now and you are not responding. We had some plans and I don't understand what's going on. Anyway, call me, I'll be waiting for the explanations".</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oh hey, hello there to everyone in 2021, and congrats on MTBMB Side B, it's heaven! Thank God for Marshall. I decided to start this year with my new record for words in the chapter cause I'm a fucking clown with all these scene descriptions and character development🤡 Well, it's too late to change something anyway. It's chapter number 20! *salute*</p><p>Anyway, please, express your opinion on the chapter by leaving a like or comment to encourage me to continue and post frequently. Your support is my biggest inspiration and I'm always grateful for it. Thank you and much love for you all!❤️</p><p>P.S. AN IMPORTANT NOTE lol. Some of you here are very supportive and genuine which I really appreciate. So I just wanted to say that I also have an account on Wattpad where I post this fic and you can get in touch with me there if you want. You can find me there by @altavision nickname if you use that website. This note doesn't mean that I stop posting my work here, I will continue to post it here for sure. I just wanted to give some contact of mine just in case and say that the chapters for the fic usually come out there 2-3 days earlier since I'm writing originally there. Thank you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Bossy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It seemed like coming home had never been weirder. And it wasn't like I didn't miss Detroit. In fact, rushing in all of these new places and cities, attending dinners and events, meeting new people had already become a bit overwhelming for me, and all I needed was a weekend at home and a couple of good old routine days to get back to normal. But was it actually possible, for everything to become normal after that trip?</p><p>Receiving the text from Josh, I felt a wave of guilt washing over me right on the beach while Marshall was getting our dinner. I wasn't fair when it came to leaving Josh in the dark, and I had to deal with it as soon as possible. I didn't want to lie so I texted him back and we agreed to meet and talk in Detroit. That should have been the right thing to do.</p><p>Marshall and I stayed at the beach not as long as I wanted to but the night came quickly and we had to get back, finishing our dinner and whatever conversation was going between us. After him carrying me out the water, we didn't dare to bring up any risky topics so all the word exchange between us remained casual and careful. Unfortunately, the way it should have been from now on.</p><p>We returned to the house Paul rented for us pretty late in the evening to meet Royce and Denaun's smirky faces that however, received no explanations after Marshall ordered them to "Wipe the fucking smiles off your faces and go to sleep". He called Dre to apologize for what happened but apparently, didn't get any negative reaction too so the whole situation was solved way easier than I expected. The only thing was that those dorks kept grinning and winking at me foolishly for the whole flight back, and I was pretty sure that it wouldn't have ended in Detroit either. Oh well, what did I expect anyway?</p><p>There was no special agreement between me and Marshall. But somehow we reduced our interaction to a minimum on the way to Detroit, and all I could do was stealing glances at him here and there, catching him once or twice on the same action. The memory of Marshall's words on the beach was too fresh for both of us and I, personally, couldn't spend a fucking minute without thinking of it. He seemed so confident about his words that genuinely speaking, I wasn't able to find the reason for it being just a mocking. But I shouldn't have concentrated on that.</p><p>Coming back to my apartment, I had a few important calls to make. Jeff was interested in the articles, Diana was interested in "all the dirty details" that I had no urge to reveal, and I even received a call from Trevor who was trying to give me some advice on hip hop. Which I, honestly, successfully failed to concentrate on. Overall, life was slowly taking its usual rhythm, and I didn't know if I should've felt happy or sad about it.</p><p>The next morning after landing in Detroit I was standing near my favorite coffee shop, sipping some black coffee without sugar mindlessly and holding another cup in my hand. It was an hour or so before work, the weather was grey and cloudy, giving me an unfortunate hint for rain, and I was impatiently waiting for Josh who was supposed to be there in 5 or 10 minutes. Something unpleasant and guilty was forming in my stomach, and I was silently hoping not to be late for work.</p><p>'Hey'.</p><p>Suddenly I heard Josh's voice behind my back and turned around to meet his neutral glance of brown eyes and an unreadable expression. His slightly curled chestnut hair was flying on the wind gently, the bright T-Shirt with some indie group on it was making him look a bit younger,  and I thought that it was likely the main problem of his for me. Josh always got that image of a nice sweet boy to him, and even though there was nothing wrong with it, I found myself not that keen on the sight. Or maybe, I was just too busy thinking about someone else to look past it.</p><p>'Hey, that's for you' I let out an awkward smile in response, handing Josh the cup with coffee and avoiding his glance at all costs. I knew that explaining things wouldn't have been easy because I really fucked up, and I hated being in that position with anyone.</p><p>'Thank you' he responded dryly, taking the cup and lowering his glance to look at the ground as if there were some proper words for the answer. But apparently, there wasn't any. So I knew I had to take an upper hand.</p><p>'Listen, I need to explain what happened' I sighed heavily, cracking another uneasy smile and feeling awfully out of place. 'Let's go walk a little, okay?'</p><p>'As you wish' he nodded briefly, mirroring my actions as we went down the street. Okay, that's better.</p><p>'So... You probably remember about my work and some project I'm working on right now...' I started not as confidently as it was planned and cursed mentally. Oh look, Marshall's influence, hah.</p><p>'How could I forget? You are always so busy with it and run there even on the weekend' Josh answered in a wry manner, and I felt that the stab was well-deserved. How could he forget me leaving in the middle of our date to watch Marshall boxing? Oh, pathetic.</p><p>'Yeah...' I mumbled, feeling my cheeks heating up. Though, not exactly from embarrassment but the picture of Marshall boxing that all of a sudden popped up in my head, and now I felt even more guilty. Fuck, fuck, fuck.</p><p>'I've been really busy with it lately because the project is very important for our magazine' I continued almost confidently, trying to focus. 'I had this unplanned trip to New York and then LA that came out literally out of nowhere... So I just had no choice but to go there'.</p><p>'And that is why you've been ignoring my calls and texts for 4 days?' he asked clearly unimpressed with the explanation, and something harsh slipped into his tone. Okay, so that apparently wasn't enough...</p><p>'Not exactly' I took another sip of coffee to gather my thoughts as we stopped near the traffic light, waiting for the green signal.</p><p>'It's just I have this person I work with that I feel some type of way about...'</p><p>I pronounced a bit quieter, raising my eyes at Josh and finding his expression turning thoughtful and even a little bit bitter. It was weird to say those things to him because I'd never actually told anyone about me growing fond of Marshall. In front of Diana, I always acted as if I didn't care and there was no other person I could've confessed in it about. Royce and Denaun could've listened to me like the true psychologists they were but I'd never told them everything directly. So, strangely, Josh was the first person I had the courage to talk with about it. And I almost didn't believe my own words.</p><p>'What exactly do you mean?' he asked with his voice a bit lost at first, even though I could see his brown eyes losing some brightness to it. He understood.</p><p>'Well,' I swallowed a lump in my throat, and the green light appeared on the traffic lights. We moved across the street. 'I don't know how to explain that properly because everything is like super complicated and I honestly don't even know if that makes any sense at all' I was babbling something, feeling bad and stupid, thinking that it all actually might have had no sense for real. 'I like this person and it seems like he likes me but he's not really a relationship type...'</p><p>'So, he doesn't want to try things with you?' Josh was watching me attentively, and I didn't feel comfortable with that question. I knew the answer but saying it aloud was a whole different thing. Too close to the brutal reality.</p><p>'No, it's not really an option' I found myself tapping my fingers nervously on the cup I was holding. 'He has serious trust issues and we've known each other for such a short time, you know?' I added, frowning a little and finding it hard not to call the whole explanation just a simple attempt to convince Josh and myself of something.</p><p>'Don't you think that if he has trust issues then he might actually never be ready to try something with you? He has to fall in love to actually do that' Josh stated without any specific emotion in his voice. But damn, could I say that he was wrong, though?</p><p>'Yes, I understand' I answered thoughtfully, stopping for a moment. My chest became heavy after his words and I felt coming back to the ground in all its beauty. What was I even thinking about on that trip? 'And we have not that much time left on this project so I guess, I'm being foolish for taking it so seriously, right?' I felt something bitter on my tongue, giving Josh a smile which I didn't mean. Damn, all I could've really expected from Marshall was just a casual hookup and I couldn't even blame him for it. He was honest. So what if I'm a fool who just needs a little bit more?</p><p>'I don't think you are foolish. I just think that you deserve a guy who is willing to take some step for you' Josh pronounced softly, finding my eyes again, coming closer, and I felt his fingers lifting my chin gently. I couldn't understand what the hell was going on but I felt upset about all of it, and I didn't even pay attention to the touch.</p><p>'But how can he make a step if he barely knows me?' I told him in a weak voice, my whole attention lost somewhere in the fabric of his T-Shirt.</p><p>'But is he trying to know more about you? Did he ask you for a date?' Josh kept asking confidently like he knew for sure what questions were making me feel the worst. I had to admit that he was talking about the important things, though. The things I didn't like at all.</p><p>'Well, we had something similar to it. He even showed some kind of jealousy but no, there was no official thing' I returned the glance, removing his hand from my chin carefully. It was an unnecessary gesture.</p><p>'Other than just attempts to make out, there was nothing'.</p><p>I let my fingers torture the paper on the coffee cup and feel the words I pronounced fully because that was the truth I needed to remember. All these games with Marshall were surely fun but I've already made the mistake of letting him get into my thoughts, my surroundings, and my feelings. After the kiss we had in the hallway of the hotel... No, even earlier. After Chad's birthday party in the club when he asked me to play his girl, there had been no man so attractive and desirable to me. And it just didn't suit the way he was treating relationships. Looking up at Josh's serious but sympathetic expression, I knew I was fucked in this. Completely and irreversibly fucked.</p><p>'This might be your answer to everything' Josh spoke gently but with some kind of a winning twinkle in his eyes. I didn't think much of it, I was deep in my own thoughts.</p><p>'It might be' I repeated after him like some kind of mantra, letting my lips form a sad bitter half-smile. 'So now you know everything and I'm really sorry for behaving this way. I was just caught up in all of this... You know, weird illusion or whatever...' I shook my head lightly to snap out of this state of sudden sadness that overwhelmed me. The funny thing that all Josh did was point out some things I already knew.</p><p>'Don't worry about it. It's all good' he smirked somehow a little playfully, and I almost enjoyed it just as much as I would have enjoyed a certain smirk I had to stop focusing on from now on. Almost.</p><p>'I understand now. Thank you for telling me everything. How about we actually go somewhere tomorrow evening to forget about this whole situation at all?' Josh added, raising his eyebrows playfully, and I couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at his try to cheer me up. Perhaps, meeting with Josh appeared to be not as bad as I expected. I might have found his boyishness adorable at times and maybe, now it was something I needed to distract myself from Marshall?</p><p>'I think it's a good idea' I smiled fully now, trying to ignore the heavy feeling in my chest from the conversation. I had to change my perspective on things. I needed to do that, and spending time with Josh seemed like a step in that direction. Oh, Marshall, I wish we could've spent a lot more time on that beach. Something close to forever.</p><p>'But you promise me to show up no matter what. That will be an apology for real' he made a fake serious tone, his brown eyes contrasting with the grey heavy clouds of the sky. I suddenly remembered I didn't bring any umbrella for work but instantly brushed that thought off as if something insignificant.</p><p>'Deal' I nodded in agreement.</p><p>The road to the work wasn't good at all. Despite Josh's playful attitude and uplifting behavior, the conversation we had about Marshall put me in a bad mood and the weather seemed to play up to it, punishing me for forgetfulness. It started to rain heavily and a small distance from the taxi to the studio entrance doors appeared to be hell for me. If not for the haste to get there on time, I would have soaked wet for sure. But I managed to avoid it. Well, partially.</p><p>Entering the studio, I was instantly caught by the attentive glance of Camilla, Marshall's secretary, who never liked me much. Royce was joking around that she didn't like me near Marshall, and I had to watch her eyes set on my not so appealing appearance after the rain. I might have imagined her lips creating a small smirk as if mocking me but regardless, I had an urge to go past her as soon as possible. Okay, that started nice.</p><p>I made my way straight to the restroom, hearing the familiar voices there and greeting some studio workers on my way. I was silently hoping not to see Marshall there, say "Hi" to Denaun and Royce and just leave to my office to hide there from the world till the end of the day. Josh's words were still ringing in my ears, and I was afraid I could've given out my emotions in case I saw Marshall. Entering the restroom, though, I sighed in relief.</p><p>'Damn, Ella, it's a hella of rain outside' Paul commented surprisingly as I appeared at the door, adjusting my clothes and failing to fix my partially wet from the rain hair. Denaun and Royce were sitting at the couch, sipping some drinks too, and there was no sign of Marshall. Thank God.</p><p>'Yeah, I know' I chuckled wryly, giving up my attempts to make me look better and went to the fridge to take a drink for myself. 'Good morning to you' I added with a small smirk, receiving a muffled but smiley "morning" from the three of them.</p><p>'So, how did the trip go?' Paul asked curiously, finishing some text on his phone and turning his head to look at me with a raised brow. I leaned on the counter lazily, sipping my Mountain Dew. Probably Marshall's Mountain Dew, to be exact. Damn.</p><p>'It all went well if you ask me' Denaun answered in a playful smug tone, sending some funny flirty glance in my direction. Royce kicked his leg lightly in a hopeless attempt to shut him up but it was too late. Oh no.</p><p>'The point is I wasn't asking you' Paul gave him an annoyed glance in response, forcing Royce to chortle lightly. Something paranoid inside of me was watching the door from time to time, expecting someone to enter it. Or not really "someone".</p><p>'It went fine, thank you. I really appreciated the opportunity, it was fun' I told Paul in a thankful, soft tone, trying to smother the effect of Denaun's stupid teasing but actually meaning it at the same time. Paul was the one to plan and organize everything for us so I could've said that he was responsible for the good time I spent on that dream-like trip. Even though it would have felt not the same without Marshall.</p><p>'No problem. You got along with Marshall, I heard?' Paul said nonchalantly, and with the corner of my eye, I could've already seen Denaun's lips curling into the biggest grin on the planet. Fuck, I knew I wouldn't have been able to respond faster than him.</p><p>'Oh yeaaaah, she did' Denaun pronounced in a way too loud and "you know what I mean?" smirky tone, receiving a full punch from Royce immediately. I couldn't hold back a fear from my expression. Damn it.</p><p>'Oh, shut up, will you?' Royce sent some murderous intense glance in Denaun's direction, making Paul furrow his eyebrows in confusion. Royce used to tease me about Marshall too but when it came to Paul, he knew it was not the time for it. And I mentally appreciated it.</p><p>'The hell is wrong with you today, Porter?' Paul made an irritated grimace, the notification on his phone distracting his attention. I was just a step away from turning red with my entire body. Lord, what was that all for?</p><p>'Nothing' Denaun looked at me with his foolish expression and a knowing grin. 'Aaaaabsolutely nothing' he stressed the "a" strongly, dragging it way too far into the sentence, and my eyes rolled at him without my permission. This was getting out of hand.</p><p>'Anyways' Royce cut it a bit awkwardly, giving Denaun one more punch "just in case", and I prayed for Paul not to come back to the topic but he seemed already too involved in his phone again, answering someone. 'We are back home now and have quite a few plans for this week. Ella, you're in?'</p><p>'Whatever is my work, I'm down for everything, of course' I responded simply, adding a soundless "thank you" with my eyes for Royce. He did a quite good job of saving me.</p><p>'Well, Marshall's having us and the rest of D12 tomorrow evening at his house to watch football and then we planned to pick some movie, you know. He wanted you to come to hang out too' Royce told me with a small smirk. Thankfully, not even close to the one Denaun was pushing on me. Wait, Marshall wanted me to come to hang out with them the next day?</p><p>'It was his idea to invite me?' I asked dumbly, completely forgetting about Paul's presence. No way, I thought we were supposed to act distant.</p><p>'Yeah, it's not part of the work, just casual, you know?' Royce continued almost mindlessly while I was about to curse aloud. Fuck, Marshall was inviting me to hang out with him and his friends the next day, stressing that it wasn't work-related! And what did I have the next day? A fucking date with Josh that I couldn't have canceled because it was supposed to be an apology for canceling the whole weekend. Damn, the timing couldn't be worse. I couldn't play an asshole with Josh again even though I could've felt that the invitation was somehow important.</p><p>'I'm sorry, I would love to go but...' I sighed, lowering my glance in frustration and blaming that day for being so violent to me so far. Perhaps, it was a sign that I should've stayed away from Marshall for real. 'But I can't go tomorrow, I'm sorry. I've already promised someone'.</p><p>I think my frustration could've been spotted a mile away, now I was radiating it as the Mountain Dew in my hand was long forgotten. Royce and Denaun stared at me with surprised expressions and even Paul raised his glance. For the whole picture, there was only Marshall needed.</p><p>'Hey, what's up?'</p><p>Oh, hello there. Now it's disastrously perfect.</p><p>The greeting was no one else's but Marshall's as his light, somehow smiley tone that hinted at his unusually good mood that morning appeared in the air, and my glance caught a small satisfied grin already playing on his face. When I'd been talking about being fucked the whole morning before that, I didn't really mean it. But when I saw his blue eyes with a playful twinkle stopping on me and thought about my refusal, I knew I was fucked for real. He wouldn't have given me another chance, and I knew it.</p><p>'Good morning' I mumbled probably too fast not to raise any suspicion, leaving my drink on the counter and making my way to the door in an unbearable desire to leave. Marshall's glance followed me along with a perplexed expression, but I couldn't have stopped in million years so I went straight to my cabinet, leaving all of them wondering why I decided to go all of a sudden. Closing the door of my cabinet behind me, I let out an irritated sigh at myself. Yeah, good job, Ella, it was not suspicious at all. Escaping from him was smart, right.</p><p>I don't know for how long I'd been just standing there thinking about all of it but eventually, I had to sit down at my desk and try to fix my make-up and hair again. I had to brush off from my mind the fact that Marshall saw me not in a very presentable way because it seemed like the smallest of my problems. That morning decided to be extremely cruel to me, and at 10 am I was already mentally exhausted. Now I had to pray for being left alone till the end of the day and just slip out of the studio unnoticed.</p><p>However, it's, unfortunately, a well-known fact that if you want to avoid something, it will chase after you no matter how hard you are trying. So, after nearly two hours of me making attempts to write and stop feeling bad for the whole Marshall situation, I heard a light knock on the door and raised my glance cautious at who it could've been. After a moment, it was opened carefully and I saw the secretary's indifferent expression and somehow annoyed glance meeting mine. Well, hello?</p><p>'Ms. Ella, Mr. Mathers wants to see you in his office as soon as possible'.</p><p>She pronounced in a forcefully polite, monotonous tone, making my eyebrows raise in surprise with a light-speed and eyes widen a little. It was the first time Marshall had any urge to talk with me privately at work and he surely didn't have a habit to deliver any messages with a secretary. I would have more likely believed in him coming to my cabinet casually but this seemed like a hella of a bossy move. Okay...</p><p>'Oh, okay, thank you. I'll be there in a minute or so' I answered somehow uncofidently, stumbling on the last words dumbly. It was the last thing I could've expected that day and I'd already had a lot on my plate by that hour.</p><p>'I'll tell him' the secretary nodded briefly, without much interest, and walked away, closing the door, leaving me in a full confused mode.</p><p>Of course, the rational thinking was postponed to later as I checked myself in the mirror, applying a fresh layer of the peachy lipstick on my lips God only knew for what. I was glad that my clothes were already dry and my hair finally found its usual shape. Brushing it one more time "just because" and fixing my jeans, I sighed at my own foolishness. Act distant. Remember, act distant! The invitation was already refused so it would've been for the better, wouldn't it?</p><p>I made my way to his office room where I had actually never had a chance to look around since Marshall spent most of his time near the mixing board and in the booth, rarely locking up in his office. I had no idea what he was wanted to talk with me about but somehow I could feel it wasn't for good.</p><p>Knocking at the door, I waited for a second before I heard the familiar voice answering with a slight annoyance to it:</p><p>'Quit the foreplay and come in already'.</p><p>I suppressed an irritated snort at his greeting and opened the door to see Marshall sitting behind the desk or to be precise, with two of his feet in some Nike sneakers resting on the edge of the desk lazily. His pose was relaxed and open, spine leaning on the back of the chair comfortably, the thin silvery sobriety chain resting on his chest hugged by the black tight fabric of his long-sleeve. His blue clear eyes with an impatient spark in them caught mine instantly, and a shameless habitual half-smirk appeared on his lips without delay. Thrilling. As always.</p><p>'Well, I was invited here with so much officiality that I thought I had to wait for a secretary to give me permission to come in' I answered with as much sarcasm as I was able to do under his glance, stepping further into the room after closing the door. Marshall's office appeared to be simpler than I expected filled with some signed hip hop posters, a big stereo system, rows of CDs on the shelves here and there, and a small comfy couch. A few awards were standing on some of the shelves along with small figures of his and custom made things. You could've really noticed that he wasn't spending too much time there but still the atmosphere was practically screaming of Eminem and there was no way to hide from that.</p><p>'What can I say? I'm a boss here' Marshall chuckled in response with a fake pompous expression, biting his cheek mockingly and observing me in the process. To say that I felt uneasy was an understatement.</p><p>'Oh yeah, I see, Mr. Mathers' I answered wryly, stressing "Mr. Mathers" in a wicked attempt to annoy him a little. It was one of the things I enjoyed about being around Marshall so much: he was into some witty games of words and so was I. 'Thank you so much for inviting me to your office'.</p><p>'No problem' he suppressed a smirk, keeping his well-made serious expression. 'You can sit down'.</p><p>'Very kind of you' I added in an overpolite tone, playing up to him and sitting down in the chair in front of the desk. Marshall's eyes appeared to be closer, watching me and forcing my blush to become prominent immediately. I noticed his fingers picking up a pen he was apparently writing with and remembered his tender touch vividly. So vividly that it instantly sent ticklish goosebumps all over my body. Damn, so much for concentrating.</p><p>'Looking good today' he licked his lips, letting the corners of his mouth turning up slightly, eyes locking into mine with a voice velvet and soft somehow.</p><p>I think no matter who would've been in a room with us, no one would've understood that it was a compliment and a tease at the same time. Marshall couldn't have let my crazy morning look slip that easily but now my simple outfit was okay, and I was feeling something close to desire in his orbs. He wasn't ashamed to show me that he liked how I looked no matter what I was wearing, and I adored it even though it wasn't good for me in that situation.</p><p>'Thank you' I cleared my throat without any major embarrassment and it was a win, despite the whole anxious feeling inside me. 'What did you call me for, may I ask, though?' I added abruptly to change the topic and saw his eyes catching it immediately. But without any habitual playfulness behind them.</p><p>'Well, I wanted you to explain why the hell you refused to hang out with me and the guys tomorrow'.</p><p>Marshall turned his expression in a more serious one, a furrow appearing on his features as if letting me know that the teasing stopped, and we were there to discuss something he wasn't satisfied with. His fingers left the pen, moving his full attention to me, and his glance was observing. At that point of my day, I could feel myself a little fed up with the explanations.</p><p>'Because I can't go' I answered so straight and simple that I didn't even believe my tone. And I didn't have to wait too long to spot a sparkle of irritation lighting up in his eyes.</p><p>'Why?' he asked with a neutral look on his face, but I didn't miss the strict tone of his voice filling the air. The competition of glances had just begun, and his was strong and unavoidable. Okay, playing a boss for real here, Mr. Mathers?</p><p>'I already promised someone else' I held his gaze confidently, playing carelessness, and I didn't know where I suddenly got that courage. Maybe, I just didn't like being talked to like that, and even though he still hadn't said anything commanding I could catch that in the way he invited me and the manner of his behavior that day. Somehow it was creating an urge in me to contradict.</p><p>'Don't even try to tell me that it's that annoying punk from the music store' Marshall snorted, playing disgusted, and standing up from his spot suddenly. The scowl on his expression deepened and I felt my body tense from the harsh note in his voice and the image of his chest muscles perfectly defined under his tight black long-sleeve. I couldn't deny that something inside me was enjoying his irritation and I felt something similar building up in my chest so I wanted to keep going.</p><p>'He's not a punk' I said calmly, watching him walking around his table slowly and stopping to sit on the edge of his desk not that far away from me. 'His name is Josh'.</p><p>'Oh, Josh?'</p><p>Marshall let out a soundless ironic chuckle, repeating it after me. His eyes found mine again, and I could feel him progressively getting close to angry. Well...</p><p>'And what does he want from you?' he added not so patiently, imitating a silvery polite tone to let me know how much he was "enjoying" my answers. The lines of his cheekbones became clearer and I'd spotted his perfect jaw tensioning.</p><p>'He wants to meet up with me for a dinner' I shrugged nonchalantly, raising my eyebrows at him while my whole insides were strained from nervousness. I was looking up at him from under my eyelashes sitting on the chair and the only wish besides this game between us was feeling his touch. I was fighting with the urge to end the argument as soon as possible and continue no matter what.</p><p>'Then tell him to <em>fuck off</em>'.</p><p>I felt a shiver running down my spine as his sharp tone cut the air, lighting up his blue eyes with bright unsuccessfully kept anger. Marshall wasn't irritated anymore, it was worse, and I could feel his intense energy spreading around the room. The snap of his was full of emotion, leaving no hesitation about his attitude towards Josh, making something inside me angry too, and I found myself standing up from my spot, reaching his eye level.</p><p>'Hm, if I don't have work tomorrow evening, why would I?' I pronounced in a defensive sarcasm, my voice holding some challenging notes, not even trying to hide that I was provoking him. I was standing in less than a reach of a hand from Marshall and I wanted him to feel my emotions just like I felt his.</p><p>'It's not like I have a <em>boyfriend </em>anyway'.</p><p>I didn't even notice how my breath raised its speed as I adored the way his orbs changed their color in the cloudy daylight coming from the window. He had no right to tell me what to do and I was loving that advantage of mine as long as I could hear the dangerous hints of jealousy, lacing his harsh voice. I didn't even know I had it in me but I needed his reaction no less than the drowning man needs a lifeline.</p><p>A delicious half-smirk appeared on his lips.</p><p>'Who knew you could have a temper, huh?' Marshall raised his eyebrow mockingly as his glance slowly ran along my body. My cheeks heated up in a matter of a second as I realized that we shouldn't have been that close.</p><p>'Don't play with matches, though, girl'.</p><p>He added in a low voice, turning his features back to serious. His hand rested comfortably on his lap, and the silver chain was lifting up slightly with a movement of the muscles on his neck. It was nothing even close to Josh, it was something absolutely unbearable as I felt myself shaking slightly from the tension.</p><p>'And what will you do?' I raise my voice now and it was insanely close to defiant. His eyes flashed.</p><p>'<em>I'm not your girl</em> so I don't see any reasons for being careful'.</p><p>It went quiet around. My voice wasn't exactly mine as we were staring at each other openly. The heat from our bodies replaced the air between us, and I knew he didn't expect me to be so direct. I couldn't explain what made me so brave to say what I thought for real but perhaps, that morning was overwhelming and Josh pointed out to me some crucially important messages. If Marshall didn't want to try things with me, then he couldn't dictate who I should've hung out with. And I had to show it.</p><p>'If you don't get rid of this music store guy...' he began daringly, standing up from the desk and getting closer. Something risky was in his blue eyes that was making my knees weak. His scent and the feeling of his anger were messing up with my head.</p><p>'...then I'll show you the reasons' Marshall finished firmly, his hot breath tracing the air just enough for me to catch the feeling of it.</p><p>'Can't wait'.</p><p>Was all I could say, matching his taut tone and holding his glance. I didn't know if he enjoyed my answer or absolutely hated it because somehow he didn't let me read the emotions on his face. He was right anyway. I'd been playing with matches for sure. But it started not in his office. It started back when I first let myself a single thought of him which wasn't work-related.</p><p>'Thank you for the invitation. But I can't be there tomorrow' I added a bit awkwardly but still holding my pride when Marshall didn't answer anything. Acting all fearless in front of him was possible only for a short time so I needed to get out shortly after not to lose in the next round. 'It seems like I explained myself so may I be free now?'</p><p>'Yes' he snickered lightly, but there wasn't much mocking to it. It was like the situation became a bit amusing to him for some unknown reasons, and I could only suspect him realizing his defeat. Unreal, right?</p><p>Taking a brief side glance at Marshall's handsome features, I mouthed "Perfect" so quietly that he probably didn't even hear. I was preparing to sigh in relief behind the door as he added simply when I touched the doorknob:</p><p>'For now'.</p><p>I didn't dare to turn around to look at him once again as I felt something in my body respond to it, gladly believing what he said. A minute of hesitation and I was out, placing my hand on my chest to try to steady my heavy breath. What a fucking day I had. Couldn't be "better".</p><p>'Ella, are you okay? You look a bit strange today'.</p><p>I winced slightly as I heard Paul's concerned voice behind my back when I walked away from Marshall's door, making my way to my office. Or my safe place, to be specific. Oh God, what else?</p><p>'I'm fine, Paul, thank you' I turned around with a small reassuring smile, trying to act as normal as I could. Even if it wasn't very believable.</p><p>'Okay,' he answered in some kind of a suspicious voice but thankfully, dropped the topic.</p><p>'I just wanted to tell you in advance that this Friday night Marshall is going to a battling event here in Detroit and I wanted you to go with him to get into the atmosphere. I think it might be interesting, what you'll say?' Paul told me in a serious typical manager manner of his, watching me expectedly. Oh, the news...</p><p>'Sure. I'm excited' was the response that came out of my peachy colored lips, forming just another forced smile, and I understood that the relief wasn't an option anytime soon. Oh, Paul, if you only knew.</p><p>If you only knew how much I was glad to be back in Detroit.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oh hey, how are you all?😏 Who ordered a little confrontation here? Probably no one lol. But I should keep you interested, shouldn't I? Got some plans for you so hope you'll be keen on it.</p><p>How did you like Ella being a bit more confident? Josh is back by unpopular demand lmao. Curious how you feel about bossy Marshall👀 Fingers crossed you enjoyed it.</p><p>Anyway, please, express your opinion on the chapter by leaving a like or comment to encourage me to continue and post frequently. Really appreciate the constant support. My biggest inspiration, much love❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Friday night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>From what I've learned, arguing with Marshall appeared to be a rather thrilling thing. Even thinking about it, I was a little nervous but also, somehow unexplainably excited. It was no usual fight, it never felt like one. Perhaps, something was in the way we felt each other in that little game of pride between us. I didn't like to be dictated the rules, and he was too competitive to care. With such an unlucky combination something could've gone utterly wrong sooner or later. But what could I do about it?</p><p>Frankly speaking, I should've stayed away from thinking about the moment we shared in Marshall's office but I couldn't. I was a bit angry for his behavior but somewhere deep inside was waiting for the continuation. When he said "for now", I knew I wouldn't have been able to forget it. So I was waiting for the Friday night impatiently and wishing for it not to come at all at the same time. Having mixed feelings was nothing new when it came to him.</p><p>The next day after the argument, I and Marshall didn't communicate. Royce and Denaun were zealously trying to persuade me to go to Marshall's gathering. But when I passed him by in the corridor as we shared a dry "Good morning", catching some challenging spark in his glance, I knew I couldn't obey. Even if I had an option like that, it was too hurtful stab for my pride, and he was the one acting unfairly bossy towards me. If I had to piss him off for real, then let it be it. To all the insistent offers of my dorks, I said "no".</p><p>Josh arranged a dinner for us just like he promised. It was at the Italian place not that far from my neighborhood which reminded me of the time Marshall, Paul, and I had had lunch there after the TV show live. And yes, I was that fucked up to think about it on the date with Josh. And yes, I felt a wave of annoyance washing over me at the images of Marshall and Roxy flirting that day. But as expected, the dinner went well. The food was enjoyable and Josh was attentive, funny and all the things attached to it. At some moment, I even succeeded in getting distracted and that was refreshing. At least, for one evening. The lack of any impressive effect on me after it was a whole another topic.</p><p>Friday came quickly. Marshall didn't attend studio that day, having some relative thing to clear up. So Paul was very kind, even too kind I would say, to ask him to pick me up in the evening before the battling event so we could've gone there together. I could only imagine how much "fun" the ride after the argument would've been and was silently hoping for the better. But, to tell the truth, I had a bad feeling about it.</p><p>So, that Friday night I was going downstairs from my apartment with a nervous feeling in my chest and a carefully picked outfit which consisted of some nice tight dress and stockings, in a similar fashion to Chad's birthday party, finishing it with middle-height heels. The battling event was nothing to dress up for but Paul said that I needed to look good since it was supposed to be in some elite club. Apparently, I needed to make an effort without overdoing it. After all, Marshall and I were in an argument. Which still was no obstacle for me to desire his attention, was it?</p><p>Exiting the building, I was met by a warm May evening, looked at the time and saw that it was a bit early. It was already dark outside but the night was far from starting so I decided to wait a little and fix my lipstick just in case it wasn't perfect enough. My phone buzzed, getting a text from Jeff so I was glad to answer.</p><p>And what was my surprise, when raising my glance from the phone I was holding, I saw some figure on the road making its way to me with a greeting warm smile and some package in hands. Even from afar, I could already guess that the figure was way too familiar for being a random stranger. So unluckily familiar that I felt myself letting out a small gasp. Alright, yes, goddamn. It was nobody else but Josh.</p><p>'Hey, Ella!'</p><p>Oh no, I thought. Literally the worst timing.</p><p>Josh was waving at me from the distance, getting closer and closer with every moment, and I bit my lip anxiously, closing my eyes for a second to suppress an irritation. From all the scenarios for Friday night, I was afraid of that one the most. It was just hard to imagine. Josh wasn't supposed to be near my building at that particular time and day. He'd never done something like that, and we'd just seen each other 24 hours before. And even that wasn't my main concern. Marshall was literally a few minutes away from coming, and I had no idea how to explain it to Josh properly. The one thing I knew for real: it was better for Josh not to meet Marshall, and I had to talk my way out of this as soon as possible.</p><p>'Hey, what you're doing here?' I greeted Josh back, cracking a full-on anxious smile, as he reached the place I was standing at. My voice sounded unnatural as my side glance failed to focus on him, watching the road for the familiar Cadillac Escalade. The street was empty, though, and I could hear no sound of the car around which was only making the anticipation worse. Fuck!</p><p>'Glad I caught you here. Just wanted to make a surprise and have dinner with you. I brought a new Eminem CD "Encore"' he answered smugly, stopping in a reach of a hand from me, habitually casual and charming in his own way, pointing at the package in his hand. Despite a slight confusion on his features from seeing me near my building like that, I could notice an excited twinkle in his orbs. Lord, Eminem's CD, the irony. Yeah, Josh, a hella of a surprise...</p><p>'You succeeded' I mumbled wryly, chewing my lip distractingly and rushing through millions of ideas in my head that could've saved me from that awful disaster. But nothing seemed good enough.</p><p>'You're heading somewhere, though? I picked the wrong time?' Josh raised his eyebrow at me playfully but something in his tone wasn't like in the first minute. From the uneasy expression on his face, I assumed he knew the answer to the question. He was no fool, I didn't dress up like that to our date.</p><p>'Yeah... Um... I'm actually going somewhere today and it's a part of the work...' I explained without any vital confidence in my voice, and I bet he could've easily told that there was more to it. Somehow the whole situation was making me feel very much uncomfortable, and I found myself tapping my foot impatiently. Damn.</p><p>'Oh, I see' Josh's teasing smile fainted, and I cursed mentally. None of this was in my plans for that Friday. 'Are you waiting for a taxi? I could catch you one' he offered what had to seem like casually as if suppressing something, acting nice and caring. I wouldn't have lied if I said that I felt bad. He was always good to me, and I never paid back the way I should've been.</p><p>'No, thank you, I'll be picked up so... ' I uttered, putting my eyebrows together in a sympathetic look, dragging the last word a little longer than necessary. Perhaps, it was like cutting the fresh wound but I needed him to go shortly after, and desperate times required desperate measures.</p><p>'Yeah, sure. Not gonna disturb you then' Josh let out a small bitter chuckle, raising his hand in a strict but fake surrender. What was supposed to be a tease didn't make it for some reason.</p><p>'What did you dress up like that for? Doesn't seem like work only'.</p><p>He added wryly after a small pause with some irritation in his tone that I most likely deserved. Something in his eyes hurt that minute as the warm light of the street lamp embraced us and I didn't like that I was responsible for it at all. And I wasn't sure how to answer.</p><p>But before I could've actually done that, parting my lips to respond, I heard a one and only velvety, already annoyed tone. The tone that told me that the disaster was now unavoidable despite all my sheer attempts:</p><p>'How she's dressed up is <em>none</em> of your fucking business'.</p><p>I swear I used to think those scenes were only happening in movies. And while it's all fun and entertaining to watch on the screen, in reality, it was actually the exact opposite thing as I spotted Marshall coming closer with a deeply irritated look on his face. Two of his hands were in the pockets of his black jeans as the white hoodie and leather jacket were sitting perfectly on him. His furrowed glance was all settled on Josh persistently, and I was prepared to face the catastrophe. Hello...</p><p>'What the hell?' Josh almost exclaimed astonished, running his eyes back and forth to me and Marshall, trying to put two and two together. Oh, he probably recognized Marshall immediately.</p><p>'You're working with Eminem?'</p><p>'Yes... I couldn't tell you and...' I started mumbling stupidly as my head was a complete mess, but couldn't continue as I was interrupted once again.</p><p>'All she's trying to say that it ain't your concern and you should just get the fuck out from here' Marshall stated firmly, eyeing Josh with a stone-cold expression. I saw his jaw tensioning just like every time he was getting angry and the muscles on his neck becoming more prominent. None of it seemed like a good sign, and I had to say something.</p><p>'Marshall, stop it. I can explain it all by myself' I tried to protest, hearing my own voice strong and severe. On the one hand, it was kind of pleasant to feel Marshall getting all protective about me but at the same time, he was trying to kick out Josh from my life without any actual right to do so. That particular fact was the same thing that drove me angry the last time and that was the thing pushing me to argue.</p><p>'Yeah, stop it. You are not the one to tell me to dictate things to me' Josh said, scowling and overcoming the surprise effect Marshall took on him, a harsh tone coloring his voice. 'I came to see Ella'.</p><p>'Well, she's obviously too nice to tell you the truth so I don't mind a job for me' a sarcasm slipped from Marshall's tongue, blue eyes darkening with the answer. I couldn't comprehend his behavior fully. He wanted to protect me from someone when I didn't want to be protected. He acted as if I was <em>his, </em>and as much as I liked how that sounded, that wasn't a reality. I couldn't let him manipulate me, it wasn't fair, and I had to make that clear.</p><p>'Listen, I couldn't tell you everything since it's my job. You should understand that it's how it works' I made an attempt to explain calmly, dismissing Marshall's comment. A hope to rule out the things normally was no longer existing, though.</p><p>'Yes, I get that...' Josh answered, sighing heavily, lowering his gaze to the ground, and then back to me. With some kind of desperation in his orbs, I could feel myself guilty.</p><p>'Why is he telling you what to do, though? You're not his girlfriend, are you?' he added expectedly, trying to find any kind of response in my glance. But I didn't have any.</p><p>'No, I'm not' I cut it, sending a brief glare at Marshall that he caught instantly as if waiting for it. Josh was asking some reasonable questions and I honestly didn't know what else I could say. The situation was fucked up.</p><p>'It's no difference, she doesn't give a fuck about youand that's all you need to remember'.</p><p>Marshall pronounced in a thick throaty voice with a nonchalant expression to him. Something arrogant was in his glance, though, and I couldn't believe that he was so free to speak for me. As much as I sometimes enjoyed him caring about who I go on dates with, there were some lines I didn't want him to cross. Like talking rudely with someone I hang out with. But unfortunately, he did.</p><p>'Oh, that's what she told you?' Josh snapped, heating up too, and I felt like waiting for a volcano eruption, standing in the epicenter. Josh wasn't that expressive as Marshall in general but with every moment I was doubting it more and more.</p><p>'No, but I don't need her to tell me this. It's fucking obvious' Marshall said rudely, anger getting ahold of him slowly but surely. I was lost in words, I don't think they even paid attention to me standing there. Both their glances were locked with each other, and I couldn't handle that picture. The unpleasant sensation in my stomach signaled about the highest level of my nervousness.</p><p>'Obvious?' Josh scoffed in disbelief, shaking his head lightly in an unlucky attempt to mishear it. 'We had a date yesterday and it went marvelous for your information' Josh uttered poisonously, a challenge appearing in his tone along with dare in his pupils.</p><p>'What do you even know about our relationship?'</p><p>'I don't know much' Marshall snorted despisingly, cheekbones creating the sharp lines on his face. Something in his blue eyes sparkled with a smug almost evil flash as if he was about to say something that could've given him a desirable win. Something ultimate and undeniable. A checkmate, an ace in the hole.</p><p>'All I know is herwhispering <em>my </em>name as we were making out in her hotel room in New York'.</p><p>His voice sounded loud, cocky, stressing the word "my" strongly to let Josh hear it in the best way possible, and it all went silent for a moment. I think I wouldn't have been able to hear enough thanks to a ringing sound in my ears. At that moment, I could only watch Josh's brown eyes getting darker and bitterer with every next second of the inescapable realization. I felt some huge lump in my throat and somehow a dirty sensation all over my body. I didn't owe Josh anything but I didn't want it to be like this either. He already knew I felt some type of way about a "person" from my work and wiping it in his face was wrong, completely wrong.</p><p>'Look, Josh, I...'</p><p>'I think he was right. I should really just go' Josh didn't let me finish, raising a hand to stop me. I felt horrible, watching his expression in a knowing upset smile. 'If you want to talk to me, then just come to the shop or call me. I'll leave a CD in your mailbox'.</p><p>'You can save it. I'll give her dozens' Marshall pronounced, intervening again, and I felt anger inside me, heating my cheeks.</p><p>'Will you just keep silent for a minute?'</p><p>I snapped at him mercilessly tired of his patronizing manner. Marshall's blue eyes turned to meet mine in a genuine confusion as if I said something crazy and absolutely unacceptable. Well, yes, guess he wasn't the only one irritated there.</p><p>'Yes, thank you, leave it. I'll call you tomorrow and we'll talk it out, okay?' I told Josh with a<br/>silent hope to my tone, trying to smoother the bad feeling in my chest from all of it. Friday was a bad idea and now I had a full experience of why.</p><p>'Sure' Josh added without any enthusiasm, sending a tense glance at Marshall and receiving an even stronger one back. I could almost be certain that if not for my attempts to calm it down, there would've been a fight. 'Have a nice work today' was all Josh said with a small half-smile that he didn't mean. It was all bitter to it and I was partially glad for him to end the torture by leaving. Apparently, there was no other way for now.</p><p>'Don't worry, I'll make sure of it'.</p><p>The venomous comment was no one else's but Marshall's as Josh was already walking down the street, getting further from us. I didn't know if he heard it but if yes, decided to dismiss it which I was very grateful for. My heart was beating in my chest furiously, and there was no particular reason for it. I just didn't like everything that happened at all. And with the thought of it, felt Marshall's attentive stare on me.</p><p>'You are <em>not</em> calling him tomorrow'.</p><p>His voice was persistent and harsh as I looked at his features in the light of the streetlamp without my usual admiration. It was all serious this time and I felt like shit from everything that had just happened.</p><p>'Oh guess what? I am' I uttered sarcastically, feeling my own body tensioning from the emotion. I was angry at him, I felt my blood boiling in my veins from it. This time I wasn't about to keep silent or hesitate. He crossed the line.</p><p>'I'm calling him whenever the hell I want and I don't need your permission'.</p><p>'So that's your answer? You are really upset because of that punk?' Marshall raised his voice in disbelief, furrowing his eyebrows at me. The contempt prominent in the last word brightly. What did he expect from me, though?</p><p>'Yes, I'm upset because you stick your nose in my business like you have a right to do so' I continued emotionally, my pulse getting quicker. His blue eyes were not leaving mine, full of rage and challenge, too passionate to let go, and I hated the fact that I felt so much, looking into them that minute.</p><p>'We both know you want me and he's just an annoying gnat' Marshall parried strongly, getting closer and stealing the air around me. My chest was tight and my breath unsteady. I couldn't bear it anymore.</p><p>'So that's why you decided to <em>show off?</em>'</p><p>I pronounced the question calmer than my previous replica, looking directly in the eye of his, the fleeting note of frustration going through it cruelly. Yes, that's what hurt me for real. The fact that he was so careless talking about the intimate moments we shared. Like it was some kind of award, an achievement, a thing to throw in Josh's face. It was a selfish move of his just to win the argument when all I wanted Marshall to stay away from this. I could've explained everything all by myself and avoid it.</p><p>But apparently, the win was more important for him that moment, and that was disappointing.</p><p>'I didn't mean it like that' he cleared his throat, swallowing after a small pause, lowering his tone, blue eyes softening a little. But that wasn't making any difference.</p><p>'I think you did mean it' I pronounced quietly, seeing something unfamiliar in his eyes. I felt terribly, the night was starting in the worst way I could've imagined.</p><p>'Ella...' he tried to touch my arm gently to pull me closer to him, and I yanked it, catching the familiar heaven-like sensation of his fingers on my skin. No, it wasn't working that way now, and I raised my glance to look into his eyes directly:</p><p>'I may be all nice, not able to resist you most of the times but I don't like to be spoken for, Marshall'.</p><p>I told him as clearly and unwaveringly as I could. That was all about a bad sensation inside me, my emotions and feelings at that moment. His eyes were watching my every little movement with amusement and some regretful shade to them I wasn't used to seeing. My fingers were torturing the material of my purse as my breath was heavy from talking loudly. It was surprising not to see anyone on the street that night but I guess we might have just missed the whole city being around there.</p><p>'I think it would be better if we just go. Where is the car?' I spoke again indifferently when Marshall kept silent. From his frowned features and hesitant glance, I could tell he had something to say to me but I wasn't in the mood to continue the argument. I got a job that evening so it should've been the job for real. It was enough about it.</p><p>'I didn't want to put on a show but he was acting as if two of you got something'.</p><p>He answered with a fiery spark in his orbs, letting me see all the unspilled rage in him that was nothing but blinding. That's not what I wanted.</p><p>'I don't feel like talking about this anymore. As a matter of fact, I'd prefer we didn't talk at all' I pronounced with a deep tired sigh, taking my glance off of him and noticing a black Mercedes getting closer to us slowly. Apparently, Marshall was with his driver that day, and I proved myself right when his bodyguard Steve got out of it ready for instructions.</p><p>'Sir, sorry for interrupting but we can't park the car anywhere near, someone might recognize you'.</p><p>'We are already going, thank you' I said reassuringly before Marshall could've responded anything and raised my eyes to catch his glance running around my face. The tension on his cheekbones was softening naturally, but I didn't know if he was sorry. I suddenly felt like not going anywhere at all but I promised Paul and that was my obligation. So all I did was dropping my gaze from Marshall's face and letting Steve open the car door for me. Marshall didn't try to say something else so soon I felt him sitting beside me on the backseat.</p><p>I didn't dare to send my glance to him, turning my head to look out of the window. Detroit was lighting up with its night hundreds and thousands of lights in front of my sight, and I was fully aware of his presence in a reach of a hand distance. I felt Marshall stealing glances at me a few times but didn't return it. Some part of me wanted for him just to take my hand or touch me comfortingly while another one just wanted for the ride to be over. I could've wished the same for the night but it was too much to ask. So for the whole ride, I didn't get my eyes off the car window.</p><p>'Look, I get it all but the place we are going to is not that safe' I heard Marshall's low voice with a careful gentle note to it when the car stopped, probably reaching its destination. I knew it would've been right to look at him but I just couldn't.</p><p>'There might be some dangerous people so it would be better if you stayed by my side for the whole thing, okay?' a concern and something close to a plea appeared in his voice for a fleeting moment along with a strict seriousness. I put my eyebrows together, not really understanding what he meant by it.</p><p>'Okay,' I answered dryly, keeping my eyes at my fingers and hearing him sigh unsatisfied with my intonation. Well, nevertheless, we should've let the night finally begin.</p><p>The club was nothing like I'd ever been to before. It was a huge building in the middle of the Detroit suburbs, flashing white bright projectors in the dark night sky, the music blasting from afar much louder than I was used to. With a lot of expensive vehicles parked outside, an impressive amount of security, and unfamiliar suspicious faces, it all felt like a whole different world where it was too easy to get lost. In all the existing meanings of that phrase. After all, the highest rank battling event was all about money and bets, as Paul said, so there should've been nothing unusual to it. But still, it was.</p><p>As we got out of the car, Steve was all ready to lead our way. I didn't want to get too close to Marshall so I just tried to follow next to him, going through the front entrance and then the sea of people gathered in a high-ceiling hall, waiting for the action. There was a big stage set up as we were meeting some of Marshall's acquaintances on our way, making greetings, only to end up on the VIP balcony on the second floor. The stage could be seen perfectly near the railing but the couches and table a little further from it allowed to partially hide the scene from the sight just in case it would get tiring. We sat down on the violet velvet couches separately but they were pretty close to each other so the escape wasn't an option. I still wouldn't look at Marshall and decided to make that a habit for the whole night. The only thing was that I didn't know if he would've let that happen.</p><p>The battling began as the music stopped, capturing Marshall's whole attention. I wouldn't say I wasn't interested myself but the way he was following every line spilled in the battle and every little movement of the contestants was a whole different feeling. I was trying to concentrate on the stage diligently but my thoughts were stronger than any of my best efforts, making me watch Marshall with my side glance. I didn't know how much time we spent like this but it must have been midnight when I got back from the bathroom, noticing Marshall's figure standing near the railing and took the opportunity to make a small talk with Steve. The silence between me and Marshall was forcing me to learn things I wanted to know from other people and oh thank God for security.</p><p>'Watching the battle too?' I asked simply, cocking my eyebrow at Steve but not taking my eyes from Marshall's posture. Steve, in general, was very laid back even though he didn't talk much, and I knew I could ask him something that'd been bothering me since the ride in the car.</p><p>'Nah, watching Mr. Mathers mostly' Steve suppressed a grin, making me chuckle softly.</p><p>'You know, I wonder what he meant, saying that it's dangerous here. Would you explain?' I asked in confusion, observing Marshall's sharp profile, short dark hair, and focused glance which in semi-darkness seemed more like the strokes of the silhouette that somehow never failed to mesmerize me. Being distant from him while sharing the same space wasn't as easy as it seemed for me.</p><p>'You know how it goes when money is involved, Ms. Ella' Steve answered in a half-tone, not giving a glance to me, getting serious. 'Look at the balconies and people down there' he made a small node to the crowd near the stage and people with massive chains and expensive clothes on the balconies. 'Every second one of them has a gun' Steve added unusually routinely and with my glance running around those people, I suddenly caught a glimpse of a holster on one of the men which I hadn't noticed before. Damn. 'And even though it's unlikely for something to happen here because no one would like to make a buzz, it's better not to trust anyone'.</p><p>'Wouldn't it be better not to go here at all?' I raised my eyebrow at him curiously. It didn't make sense to me or perhaps, I just lived in a whole different world from that. I knew Marshall's life was way more different from mine but I didn't know it had this side to it too.</p><p>'Well, no worries, we've gotten used to it' Steve shrugged at me as if dismissing my words when all of a sudden he let a small smirk paint his lips.</p><p>'Besides, this time Mr. Mathers gave the orders to keep <em>you</em> as safe as possible. We have more guards all over the building'.</p><p>I didn't know if the meaning of Steve's smirk was the one everyone around was giving me about Marshall or not, but I was glad he decided to share it. Hearing it was warming, I couldn't lie. Marshall could've done that because of Paul but something inside me was telling me that it was because he cared. Too bad the incident near my building was still fresh, and I couldn't let that important but small detail overshadow it. Even if I wanted it to.</p><p>'This one is a waste of time. No actual punchlines, only rhyming. Are they battling or reading poems?'</p><p>We heard Marshall's annoyed tone as he turned away from the railing with a bored expression on his features, putting his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Throwing a glance at the glass of soda standing on the small table, he plopped on the couch and took a small sip.</p><p>'Should've gotten out there and shown them how to battle, sir' Steve made a small chortle, giving me a cunning side glance. I returned it with a small smile.</p><p>'I wish someone would've called me out for real' Marshall answered seriously, sipping his soda thoughtfully, eyes still glued on the stage despite the complaint. 'Man, why nobody would do that here, huh?'</p><p>'No one got balls for that, they know you'd destroy them'.</p><p>I had to turn my head to see the source of one more voice coming behind our backs and in a moment, all three of us saw a dark-skinned man in a pair of tinted glasses and a couple of his peers at the entrance of our balcony. They were dressed up casually for most but with some quite impressive jewelry on. Somewhere behind I caught a glimpse of bodyguards too and thought that I hadn't seen so much security as it was in that club in my whole life. Goddamn.</p><p>'Woah, is this Trick-Trick in the building? Glad to see you, man' Marshall let out a small chuckle, standing up to greet the man who apparently was the owner of the voice. Everyone here and there heard the name of Trick-Trick in Detroit, and I wasn't an exception. Especially, after my research on Marshall, I couldn't help but knew they got along well so the appearance of Trick-Trick wasn't surprising, it was more unexpected. Along with Trick-Trick, there were two of his peers, excluding bodyguards, and I noticed one of them landing his eyes on me with some playful spark in them, adding a smug grin to his lips. Well?</p><p>'Decided to stop by and say hello, haven't seen you for a while' Trick-Trick answered casually, sitting down on the couch in front of Marshall along with his guys. 'You already know Barry, so meet my man Prince, straight from Chicago. Been helping me to move my business here lately' he added almost lazily, nodding at the guy that kept looking at me with something unreadable in his eyes. Apparently, Marshall caught that action as I saw his expression frowning.</p><p>'My pleasure' the guy who was supposed to be Prince barely nodded without any actual respect in his tone, and his lips formed a cocky delicious smirk. He had attractive features along with caramel, almost chocolate skin, and a toned body, appealing in its own way. Something in his glance was tricky, though, and I felt uneasy being observed so attentively by him.</p><p>'Won't you introduce us to this gorgeous chick with you? Who is she?'</p><p>Prince added a little too brazenly for being "just a peer" and nodded in my direction. I was still standing near Steve, just like before they entered the balcony, and even though Marshall was sitting with his back to me, from the tension of his spine I could feel he didn't like that at all. Oh Lord, that had to be some curse of that fucking night.</p><p>'Oh yeah, Em, is this your girl or what?' Trick-Trick asked nonchalantly, dismissing the tension from Prince's words as if it never existed. He certainly thought that it must have been not a big deal. And perhaps, it wasn't. But...</p><p>'What is the interest for your man?' Marshall pronounced not so friendly, speaking directly to Trick-Trick but eyeing Prince intensely. I could almost physically feel irritation inside him starting to rise irreversibly fast.</p><p>'It's the word going around that she's the journalist from this magazine "Wave"' Prince answered calmly instead of Trick-Trick, showing that he wasn't his dog and didn't like to be spoken for. His pupils had something teasing in them, and it felt dangerous somehow as he licked his lips, watching me. 'And I'm interested, not gonna lie' he added chuckling and managing to make Trick-Trick and another guy chortle lightly. I felt my body tense.</p><p>'She's off the limits'.</p><p>Marshall answered sharply in a hissed lowered tone that was the equivalent of the "fuck off" attitude he so nicely gifted Josh with. I think the only thing holding him back this time was Trick-Trick's presence.</p><p>'Man, relax, Prince means no harm' Trick-Trick intervened in an unbelievably chill manner while everyone in the room was in a completely different mood. Impossible.</p><p>'Yeah, no harm, all I'm asking if she's your girl or not cause I might have found a perfect match for me tonight'.</p><p>Prince spoke again bluntly as his smirk turned into an arrogant, almost knowing one, directing the words more at me than at Marshall and sending an unpleasant shiver down my body. Prince's attitude was relaxed and careless but I'd noticed his brown eyes having a devious shade to them since the first moment he'd entered the balcony, and that made me scared. I looked away, bringing my glance at Marshall's figure sitting on the couch, feeling some dangerous spark in the air ready to blow up. And before I could think of anything else, I heard Marshall's voice confident and cold as he didn't move an inch, answering straight to Prince:</p><p>'Well, then you'll have to find another match and forget about her because<em> yes, she is my girl'.</em></p><p>The words pronounced so strongly and unhesitatingly grazed my skin with its loud sound. Somehow I caught a feeling of deja vu serving me with the image of us on Chad's birthday not so much time ago. It all could feel fake and familiar but wasn't it true that the more you keep saying some fictional things, the more you start questioning if they are fictional for real? This time something was different. I couldn't explain what exactly. My chest tightened at the words of his, and as much as I was angry at Marshall about Josh, I couldn't deny the effect it had on me. Something that I wouldn't have had with Josh no matter how bitter it was that the thing Marshall said was nothing but a lie. Such a tempting lie to believe in.</p><p>'Good for you, man. She's hella fine' Trick-Trick crashed the silence with a satisfied smirk, approving the answer and probably thinking that the argument was over. From the glance of Prince's cunning eyes, I could tell that it wasn't that easy, though:</p><p>'Why don't she sit down and have a drink with us?'</p><p>'Yeah, girl, what's your name? Sit down and chill with us' Trick-Trick encouraged, probably meaning no harm, and I saw Marshall sending a glance in my direction. Our eyes met for silent observation, none of us trying to show anything in particular, but somehow agreeing on the play Marshall had started. I just had to say nothing and let him do the talk. Not proving but not denying either.</p><p>'I'm Ella, nice to meet you' I pronounced finally, forcing myself to a warming smile and making my way to sit next to Marshall on the couch. I sat down not far away from him but not too close either. Prince was watching every movement I was making, and I realized I preferred to keep silent actually.</p><p>'It's just no offense but she doesn't really look like your girl, you know' Prince continued, shrugging briefly as if telling something absolutely ordinary, looking at the space between me and Marshall on the couch. 'She seems so distant and didn't even speak a word to you while we're here. Weird much?' he raised his eyebrow at us in suspicion, and I could already feel that Prince knew the truth. It's just some people are more attentive than others and unluckily, that evening we bumped into someone like them.</p><p>'I don't see why I have to prove something to you, honestly' Marshall said emotionlessly with hostility he didn't plan to hide as I shifted on my seat. This time Trick-Trick was left out of the word exchange while being closer to Marshall, I could see his body stiffen. And I wouldn't be surprised if that was very close to the edge. 'It ain't your thing to worry about'.</p><p>'Well, I don't know, man, I feel like that could become my thing to worry about. What you'll say, boo?'</p><p>Prince's eyes turned into shameless ones as the last question he pronounced was aimed directly at me. Trick-Trick's expression became uneasy as he apparently realized that his peer stepped on the wrong territory, and there was no peaceful way out of there. That particular moment I saw Marshall's anger turning into an uncontrollable rage, judging by the perfectly defined line of his jaw and fiery blue eyes. The next thing I knew was Marshall's harsh words and the image of him getting up from his spot abruptly:</p><p>'I swear, I fucking warned you about it'.</p><p>And with those words, I heard Prince whimper in surprise as his face was met by a strong cruel punch of Marshall's fist.</p><p>Oh uh...</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oh hi! What is this? Looks like action in Altavision's fic🤯Lmao, I swear, writing this has been so much fun. Wanted to bring some jealous Marshall in action for you. Hope you enjoyed it! The night isn't over👀</p><p>Thoughts on Josh and Prince?🌝</p><p>Anyway, please, leave a comment or like to express your opinion on the chapter and encourage me to continue, post frequently. Thank you for all the support you show me with every update, appreciate it always! Much love❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. 'Till the explosion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Hi, there is the name of the song further in the chapter and it would be great if you turned it on just as you see it. It's not a must but would help the atmosphere. Thank you, enjoy🙃</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I didn't see how it happened.</p><p>I heard myself exclaiming something illegible the very moment when everything turned into one complete and irreversible mess, dragging me down with it by the insane rhythm of my heart beating. Space around us filled with the muffled sounds of uncontrollable anger and unsuccessful attempts to calm it down. The picture in front of me became uneven and smeared, leaving me no understanding of what and why was actually occurring. Perhaps, it was just the sign of my absolute numbness at that moment, and no explanation would've helped.</p><p>I think I didn't even have time to realize it because of how fast it all happened. One minute Marshall was sitting on the couch next to me and another minute he was already near Prince, punching him in the face ruthlessly. Prince had no time to react so caught off guard, all he could do was pathetically accept his moment of destiny and let out some curses before the security stepped in to part the fighters. Or to be exact, drag Marshall away from Prince to avoid further damage for both of them.</p><p>To say I was shocked must have been a huge understatement.</p><p>I'd never seen Marshall being so in rage before. Whatever bursts of anger he could have from time to time was nothing compared to the sight I witnessed. The attitude and the words that Prince pronounced made him a wholly different man, and even in a moment, seeing him breathing unsteadily after the bodyguards separated the two, I wasn't sure I knew how to feel about it. Trick-Trick and his peers seemed to be appalled too, giving orders to the security, and it felt like my head was about to spin. Prince's nose must've been broken as it was bleeding rapidly and his eye was getting swollen too, but that was all I could distinguish in the state of mine.</p><p>'I've told you to shut your motherfucking mouth!'</p><p>Marshall hissed through the greeted teeth, getting out of Steve's grip abruptly and eyeing Prince with the genuine hate in the glance of his sparkling eyes as the security finally parted him with Prince. The emotion he spilled in the punch should've been not a bad cooler for his mind as I saw the anger starting to fade in the lines of his face. Watching it from the side in a torpor, I was begging for the scene to end already.</p><p>But unluckily Prince still had something to say.</p><p>'You wish hitting me in the face was about to help' Prince let out a despised chortle, wiping the burgundy blood from his mouth and chin with the back of his hand, spreading it all over his face with an unskillful movement. I knew it wasn't the end, he surely had a lot on his mind. And I was proved right when his cunning, almost predatory eyes found me once again with a despicable spark to them:</p><p>'I know she ain't your girl. She hasn't even been to your bed. Right?'</p><p>He mocked mercilessly, making my stomach twist. I had no idea why it was all happening in the first place.</p><p>'You know why?' Prince raised his eyebrow questionably, needing no actual answer for that. I was sick, I was sick with hearing him speak.</p><p>'Cause she knows you won't treat her the way she <em>needs </em>to be treated'.</p><p>He licked his lips smugly, sending me one of those "you know what I mean" glances, and I had to swallow a lump in my throat, turning my head to Marshall as in a search for any kind of protection. A shiver of fear ran through my body unapologetically, but Marshall didn't plan to stay still anyway.</p><p>'I see that punch wasn't enough for an asshole like you' he threw the phrase in contempt, trying to get to Prince again with a new wave of emotion burning in his glance but was immediately stopped by Trick-Trick getting in between the two of them, a serious decisive expression on his face.</p><p>'Marshall, stop, let him be. I'll tell the security to throw him away. I can guarantee you will never see him again here' Trick-Trick pronounced calmly and reassuringly, a promising note in his tone that gave me hope it all could be solved for real.</p><p>'Man, you know I respect you but if you really don't make this fucker disappear in a minute, then I can't promise you to stand here and do nothing' Marshall responded with a deep scowl, blue eyes still colored with anger, breath rapid and unsteady. Perhaps, that minute I could believe his words more than ever.</p><p>'You heard him, get Prince the fuck out of here!' Trick-Trick ordered loudly, nodding in the direction of the exit to security, and it was needed not more than a minute for his words to come true. I heard Prince trying to say something else for the end but was fully silenced by the bodyguards.</p><p>All I saw was the sight of a bleeding nose when he got out of the picture, making me let out a soundless sigh of relief. Goddamn.</p><p>'I'm sorry, man. I don't know what got into his fucking head. He's been all fine when we were getting the business done. He must have really liked your girl' Trick-Trick continued in an explanative, apologizing tone, trying to vanish the effect from the situation. Which was obviously an impossible thing to do. I didn't even realize how little I was breathing the whole thing through and now it was starting to get normal slowly as I found myself playing with my fingers nervously.</p><p>'Right' Marshall snorted sarcastically, eventually calming down a little. It seemed like he wanted to say something else but held it back. He must have really respected Trick-Trick to do it because I could feel he wasn't satisfied with the outcome. Something in the blue shade of his eyes told me that Prince's words got to him more than they should've been, and that was a little strange to see.</p><p>'Man, what can I do for you to forget about this whole thing? We could arrange something for you and your girl. I just don't want to leave it like that between the two of us, you know?' Trick-Trick insisted goodnaturedly, and I could see him really wanting to raise in Marshall's eyes again. Taking Prince with him this evening, he appeared to be in an unpleasant kind of situation.</p><p>'Nah, man, thank you. Appreciate it and don't have anything against you. But I think we'd better go already' Marshall refused with a little moderation, clearly having no urge to stay in that building no more, voice still partially irritated and strong. And somewhere deep inside I was glad for that answer.</p><p>'Okay, as you want, buddy. I'll leave you then for now. I was glad to see you anyway' Trick-Trick nodded with an understanding on his face and sharing with Marshall a half goodbye hug. 'It was nice to meet you, girl' he added an uneasy small smile, going away, and I nodded somehow dumbly following his figure to the exit from the balcony with my glance. Steve came to stand near the door, waiting for us, and I was left alone with Marshall again. Which I didn't know if I was actually glad about it.</p><p>I turned my head in his direction to see that he wasn't looking at me. With furrowed eyebrows, Marshall was observing the bruised knuckles on his right hand from the strong punch he threw. I didn't know what I wanted at that exact moment more: to get closer and ask how much he was hurt to try to help somehow or just walk away, sit in the car and go home to be the furthest way possible. That night was just too much to take in and I was so confused about everything going on that I wasn't sure I had the strength to deal with it.</p><p>'The hell are you looking at?'</p><p>I heard an annoyed Marshall's tone, stopping me from thinking as I saw his sharp profile turning to me to meet my eyes in an unreadable kind of glare. I felt my expression turning surprised at the harshness in his voice and the cold sensation between the two of us. It wasn't like I expected him to be gentle and open his arms to comfort me but I didn't expect something like that too. Was I guilty of something?</p><p>'Oh, now you are angry at me?' I frowned, mirroring his expression, the sanity starting to sober me up after his question. The emotions I had after the Josh accident coming back with the new force with an unfightable feeling that I was fed up with Marshall's behavior for the night. I didn't even say a word about what happened and he was so fast to be severe with me. I couldn't hold back and added daringly:</p><p>'What you, gonna punch me in the face?'</p><p>'That motherfucker deserved it' Marshall's expression changed drastically, voice raised a few tones higher in a moment. He didn't like my words, hell, he was irritated by them but to be completely fair, he started it first.</p><p>'So you think I deserve this attitude too?' I asked him almost disappointingly, eyes looking directly into his. I didn't want to argue anymore, it all felt like one huge mess, my head started aching from all the emotions from that night, and I found myself thinking that maybe, it all didn't matter that much. I had to remember that I was just a fucking journalist, not his girl, even though he tried to act like I was one.</p><p>'No, of course, no' Marshall sighed heavily, running his fingers through his short hair tiredly and his glance softened at me once again. Perhaps, it was just his anger, perhaps, he didn't mean it, but I just didn't feel like all of it anymore.</p><p>'Doesn't matter. I just want to get out of here' I answered indifferently, rejecting his apologizing expression and turning away to go to the exit. I heard Marshall cursing to himself quietly, but decided to ignore it. For me, that fucking night was over.</p><p>Steve and some security provided by Trick-Trick apparently led us through the huge building of the club and the crowd of people, watching the battle. It was still going in all force but when we were passing by, I noticed Marshall not even taking a glance at it. Maybe, he was all in his thoughts about what happened or something like that. Regardless, when we sat down in the same black Mercedes that'd taken us to the club, I was glad we were leaving that place. More glad than I was able to admit.</p><p>This time Marshall turned away from me on the backseat too. I leaned my head at the windshield, getting myself the furthest place from him, and even gave up looking out of the window. My mood was nothing but awful, and all I wished for was just a little comfort of my sheets cause it seemed like I had nowhere to get it from anymore. Whatever hope for any kind of normal interaction between the two of us vanished, and honestly, I gave up thinking about the ways to make it better.</p><p>My concentration left the backseat only to listen to whatever tune was playing at the driver's one softly. Something inside of me just wanted to be in Marshall's arms. No matter what happened between us, no matter how I felt about Josh's situation, no matter how harsh he talked to me. If that was possible, I would love to have that moment free from time and thoughts about what it meant and what each of us felt. I would love to just be in his arms in that particular car in that particular moment, and then we could've just come back to the uncertainty we had. But that was only a dream and nothing else. It was freezing cold between the two of us, and I almost couldn't believe we were back in those times.</p><p>'Mr. Mathers, we are going to your mansion, just like you said before?'</p><p>Listening to the tune, I suddenly heard Steve's voice on the front passenger seat talking to Marshall and my ears perked up at the words he pronounced. A suspicious feeling appeared in my chest as I watched Marshall nodding in agreement emotionlessly. I didn't want to talk to him and ruin our silence but it felt like something was going on behind my back.</p><p>'What is he talking about? Aren't you dropping me by my place?' I turned my head to Marshall to ask curiously, but he didn't even look at me, cutting confidently:</p><p>'No'.</p><p>Un-be-liev-able.</p><p>'What do you mean "no"?' I repeated astonished, deepening the look of confusion on my features, and watching him attentively. I couldn't get it to my head that he was so nonchalant about it.</p><p>'I mean no, we are not dropping you by your place' he explained with an irritation prominent in his voice as if I asked him something simple and well-known, something that children learn in the kindergarten.</p><p>'Why?' I pressed, feeling my patience slipping away with every answer of his. There was something in Marshall that was unleashing this side of me I rarely let myself show. He was getting me nervous, he was getting me angry, he was getting me hot, and everything in between. I felt my body rising slightly on the seat, waiting for his answer.</p><p>And he didn't fail to impress.</p><p>'Because youare staying <em>at mine</em>'.</p><p>Marshall finally turned his head to look at me and in the small amount of light of the car I saw his blue eyes sparkling with challenge and determination. The tone of his voice was steel and clear, fear nothing and no one, a "try me" type of note in it. His features defined lightly, telling me that there was no chance for discussion but damn, I wasn't that easy to manipulate.</p><p>'Why would I stay at yours?' I said indignantly, feeling my cheeks heating up with the way he was. I couldn't understand what Marshall wanted from me. When I was basically in the palm of his hand, he didn't want any relationship. He couldn't promise anything and couldn't give a word that he wouldn't have left after the first night. And now, he was acting like I was some kind of his exclusive possession, telling everyone to fuck off, punching faces, and taking me to his place without asking me. What kind of rollercoaster was that and when did it change to this from "we don't talk in the car"?</p><p>'I'm not fucking leaving you alone after that prick was eating you with his eyes!'</p><p>He snapped sharply, letting me see the fire in his glance, vanishing the distance between us on the backseat because the power of his emotion seemed to need even more room. We were having a fight, an actual fight in the background of his Mercedes with two of his security guys being the witnesses. I couldn't wrap my head around that night, it was just a huge unreal madness. The only thing missing was Denaun, Royce, Dre, and Fifty behind the car window recording it all on tape, making bets, and cheering for us. Oh, God.</p><p>'We are already out of that place. He's not a threat anymore' I answered as calmly as I was probably able in that kind of situation, feeling my chest burning from the heat of argument we were in. At that point, I didn't even care about someone listening anymore. Except for the two of us, it all was just a background.</p><p>'You don't understand what kind of people you were talking with tonight. Trick-Trick promised to solve everything but I'm not gonna be able to sleep without knowing you are safe' Marshall told me fiercely, every word filled with emotion. On one hand, it was partially scaring me: the way he was so passionate about everything connected to me. But on the other hand, I felt something warm about it, even though it was just a distant feeling inside of me that I was trying to brush away. And if not the pride and blindness of my own feelings, I would've let it guide me but one more time I just ignorantly suppressed it.</p><p>'Then leave the security if you care that much' I put my arms on my chest, letting a cheeky note slip through my tone. The plan was not to obey. 'But take me to my place. I'm tired, I just want to go home'.</p><p>'Fine' he answered in a sarcastic voice annoyed with my response and leaned back at the seat again, turning his glance away. 'Steve, change of plans. We are going to Ella's place'.</p><p>'Thank you' I snorted wryly, somewhere deep inside surprised that I got my way so easily but then I heard his low voice adding in an evil mocking:</p><p>'And by the way, I'm staying the night at yours. I don't fucking care'.</p><p>I parted my lips to protest but nothing come out of it. In the handsome focused lines of Marshall's features, I saw that the continuation wouldn't have made any difference. He decided that he was staying so he was staying no matter what. I guess I should've been glad to at least pick a place. Oh, how does it happen that when you think that the night is over, something always comes up to tell you otherwise?</p><p>I really had no idea how I managed to handle the rest of the ride. We didn't speak anymore but the tension in the air was thick and unpleasant between us, mixed with the fading feeling of the pronounced words, glances imprinting on the windshields. I was thinking furiously about what to do and how to behave but found no actual answer. When the car stopped near my apartment complex, it was something about three in the morning.</p><p>I said my thanks to Steve and the driver and took my purse, getting out. The sound of Marshall's footsteps following behind me to the building was just as heavy as the silence between us, and the elevator ride was endless. It seemed like both of us managed to calm down but the unspoken feeling was still hiding somewhere close.</p><p>So, when I put the key in the lock to open the door of my apartment, I thought that the sleep should've been mission impossible and accepted it without fighting, letting myself only a tired sigh:</p><p>'Welcome'.</p><p>I wasn't in the mood to switch the light on. It's just I knew that it would've made me face Marshall openly and that was the last thing I wanted to do. I hoped in the darkness it would've been easier. And maybe, it was.</p><p>'You can sleep on the sofa or on the floor'.</p><p>I spoke quietly and calmly when we came into my room without turning my body to him. The room was playing both bedroom and living room for me as it was big and parted into different areas with no actual place to hide. I could feel Marshall's presence just behind my back that in the soft silence of the night was way too disturbing. His breath was somehow the only thing I could distinguish, even though I preferred to ignore it completely.</p><p>'You'll never learn to be hospitable, won't you?'</p><p>He answered not so friendly and just a little teasingly, intruding in the space of my apartment as the main source of my nervousness and the complimentary detail of the night. It was so easy to succumb to the change of mood and decorations that I almost did it before catching myself on this unforgivable action. Marshall thought it all supposed to be natural, behaving however he felt like, but it was enough with the swings for that evening.</p><p>'I can't be hospitable, you are never invited' I cut the phrase shortly, trying my luck, and turning around to face him. In the absence of the light, it was all much easier than it was between us all the time, and for some reason, everything felt stronger than usual. Maybe, it was my emotions, maybe, it was the night.</p><p>Maybe, it was just the fact that despite everything that happened, somewhere deep inside me I <em>adored</em> the thought of being alone with him in one room.</p><p>'Make yourself comfortable. I'm going to the bathroom' I added stuttering without waiting for his response. I needed to calm myself down and just hope for things to change somehow whenever I would've come back. I caught his confused expression across the room as a reaction. We both knew I was acting stupid, hiding that way from him.</p><p>'Sure...'</p><p>I'd never felt myself more foolish in my life, closing the bathroom door behind me. I was upset and tired and still overwhelmed by the presence of him behind my wall. I needed to hear someone else's voice and perhaps, it wasn't a bad idea to pick Diana.</p><p>I got my phone out of my purse and turned on the water to mute the sounds of the conversation. Dialing Diana's number was a quick thing to do and even though waking her up at three in the morning was a bad thing for a good friend, I waited for a long minute before hearing her sleepy irritated voice:</p><p>'Ella, I hope you are calling because something tremendous happened. You know how I love my undisturbed sleep'.</p><p>The last few words sounded a little sarcastically as I caught myself on a small smile at the way she was. Since I'd come back to Detroit, we'd spoken a couple of times but I never had the courage to mention what was going on between me and Marshall. It wasn't like I was secretive, I just never felt like telling anybody so openly.</p><p>'No... Actually, yes, I think...' I mumbled hesitantly, trying to gather my thoughts but failing completely. I was never good at telling those kinds of things. So how Diana was supposed to understand me?</p><p>'Is this connected to Eminem guy?'</p><p>She asked way more enthusiastically now with a knowing undertone to her voice. I think Diana knew me way better than I expected her to. I guess, sometimes I was so into my own doubts that I was starting to doubt everyone else.</p><p>'It is, you are right' I admitted simply, glad that she understood it so well. And that she didn't even try to reject me so late at night.</p><p>'What happened? Did he do something?'</p><p>'Yes, so many things happened today, you wouldn't believe' I sighed uncertainly, giving the answer way faster than I would've liked to. I wanted to say everything but at the same time, couldn't find the proper words to the things I felt. 'I don't know where to start and how to explain it correctly because you don't even know what happened in New York and...'</p><p>'But how did it make you feel?'</p><p>Diana caught me off guard with a simple but direct question pointed right at me, interrupting my messy emotional talk. I wasn't quite sure what she did that for and I was scared of my own answer. Not even sure why.</p><p>'What do you mean? What exactly?'</p><p>'I said, how did it make you feel? Things that happened today, things that he did' she repeated calmly but confidently, apparently now fully awake, and I furrowed my eyebrows thoughtfully, sitting down on the edge of the bathroom and biting my lip.</p><p>At first, I had no idea what to answer. I wanted to say that I didn't know. That my head was a mess and all I urged for was getting that man away from my apartment to let me finally be alone because I surely felt a little bit crazy. But something in that simple question reminded me of the moment before. The slight feeling inside me that I suppressed, arguing with Marshall in the car. The distant feeling that suddenly, from the thing Diana asked, became bright and clear, making me realize one scary but important truth:</p><p>'It made me feel how to be cared for'.</p><p>My voice was quiet and I found myself staring at the shape of the toothbrush on my sink as if I just found out it was there. I heard once that they call it jamais vu - when you suddenly look at something you'd already known in a completely different light and color like you'd never seen it before. But in my case, pronouncing those words wasn't the result of the jamais vu. I'd known that since the first time he'd said he was jealous.</p><p>
  <em>Marshall was the only man who made me feel truly wanted.</em>
</p><p>And the understanding of it made everything else awfully miserable.</p><p>'Ella, hey, you're still there?' I heard Diana's voice speaking to me through the phone and snapped out of it. The thing I'd just understood was so weird to feel and think about that I knew I wouldn't have been able to continue the conversation.</p><p>'Yeah, yeah, I'm here... You know what? Thank you so much, Diana' I said genuinely, feeling something strange inside my chest. Something that I'd never felt before. 'Sorry for waking you up but you really helped. I think I'll go already. Call you tomorrow, okay?'</p><p>'You meant today?' she chuckled lightly, probably confused by my dumbness. Or maybe, she just knew everything better than I did.</p><p>'I meant today' I let out an awkward chortle. In a moment, the line went off and the sound of ringing disappeared as I switched off the phone, putting it in my purse mindlessly.</p><p>I turned off the running water slowly and took a glance at myself in the mirror. Knowing something so warming but so dangerous to believe in had never been so thrilling. I guess I didn't even see my own reflection, I was just thinking in slow motion. But then something made me get up abruptly, and I opened the door of the bathroom, meeting with the darkness of the room once again.</p><p>'Marshall?'</p><p>I called his name, making my way across the room, and received no answer. It was quiet and empty, no sound from the outside ruining the silence, no sign of my uninvited guest. Everything seemed just like when I left it before going to the bathroom but he wasn't there anymore. I made it to the hall with a worry growing inside of me but had to stop relieved in a moment, spotting his dark silhouette on the background of my kitchen window.</p><p>'I thought you were gone'.</p><p>I spoke quietly and carefully, entering the kitchen and looking at his back in a leather jacket just like in the morning before New York. The sight behind the window was calm in a rose gold color, night in a white satin type of picture. The shutter was slightly opened, cooling the air around lightly, and we were completely alone with the scenery and the soft sound of the radio playing somewhere from the window next to us.</p><p>'You would like that, wouldn't you?' Marshall answered mockingly, a hostile note slipping to his tone, making me nervous. I guess there wasn't a chance for us to talk normally and we should've surely blamed the mood. Or just the two of us.</p><p>'I don't know anymore' I sighed heavily, leaning at the table with my side to the window. The newly discovered thing from the conversation with Diana was now sitting in my chest, reminding me of its presence, but he was so far and cold that only in the darkness I could've let myself even think about it.</p><p>'Listen, you know that I didn't mean to snap at you in the club, don't you?'</p><p>Marshall pronounced all of a sudden in a silvery velvet, fading tone, suppressing the harshness that was there a moment before, catching me off guard. I turned my head to see him focusing his glance on the image in front of the window and wished to see his face. The silence of the atmosphere, despite the sense of desperation, feeling soft and gentle.</p><p>'I've told you that I have some problems dealing with anger and sometimes it just gets out of hand' he said so rationally and calmly that I almost didn't believe. His head turned to me slowly as I met the dark glance of his sparkling eyes looking at me over his shoulder:</p><p>'I would never mean to hurt you'.</p><p>'Too bad all you were doing this evening turned into hurting me' I responded, swallowing something unfamiliar in my throat. His manner along those words was so different from the whole night that it was hard to imagine. I loved the tender lines of his features, smothered by the lack of any source of light as he turned around to face me fully. But I had to say how I felt, and the scowl appeared on his face again.</p><p>'Hurting you? I was protecting you'.</p><p>He pronounced strongly and unwaveringly, going away from the scenery. His figure stopped in front of me sideways to the window too and if not the distance between us and his way too emotional glance, our silhouettes would've been a colorless cliche picture of late-night lovers.</p><p>'Protecting me?' I felt myself letting out a bitter snort of disbelief.</p><p>'By being mean to Josh? By punching that guy's face? By speaking and deciding for me?'</p><p>I asked in a voice free of emotion, watching his movements in front of me. The conversation made me put both of my hands on the table behind me to steady my body in his presence. It never learned to react normally to Marshall. No matter what, it's always been weak at the thought of him.</p><p>'What you expect me to do? Apologize?' he raised his voice again, getting closer to me as I felt the emotion of his in the darkness of the room in its full terrific beauty.</p><p>'Yes, okay, I'm sorry for telling that punk from the music store how you really feel about him and I'm sorry for giving Prince what he deserves.'</p><p>Marshall added sarcastically, letting the venom from the anger inside of him spill in the thick tone of his voice. I heard his breath becoming unsteady and my body tensed. I thought we were done fighting for the night but it was far from the truth.</p><p>'Yes, right, thank you' I answered with a merciless irony in my tone, feeling something in me trembling from emotion but I couldn't stop anymore. His eyes were absorbing me, drawing me to him magnetically, and I was angry. Angry just like he was. Angry that I knew he cared but still acted so unfairly to me.</p><p>'Maybe, there is any chance you apologize for treating me like your fucking possession?'</p><p>My voice was unfamiliar and the question got stuck between the two of us in the silence of my kitchen. Marshall's sharp features turned astonished at the directness of my words and the heaviness of my breathing. I didn't know how firmly I pronounced it but it must have been pretty striking as the new unknown spark appeared in the dark glance of his blue eyes, changing his whole expression into unreadable and as a result, somehow dangerous. I watched him making his way to the table I was leaning on and a familiar torturous distance of a reach of a hand came to stay between us.</p><p>🎵<em>OutKast - Stankonia (Stank Love)</em></p><p>I had to raise my chin a little to hold his gaze and make an effort to keep us even.</p><p>'You seem not to realize one simple thing, girl' Marshall uttered slowly and confidently, the velvet soft sensation all of a sudden lacing his voice so deceivingly, so mockingly, like a luxurious wrap for an expensive exquisite candy. The proximity of his body forcing me to sit on the table almost fully.</p><p>'You just don't understand...' his tone became a mind-fucking whisper and the next thing I knew was the burning touch of his fingers on my thigh.</p><p>'<em>That this night I felt myself losing my mind because of you</em>...'</p><p>
  <em>You make me understand</em>
  <br/>
  <em>What it means to be in l-o-v-e once again...</em>
</p><p>His glance sparkled in the soft darkness of the kitchen, the reflection of the rose gold image of the night looked at me from his pupils, and I could hear the radio playing for the first time since entering the room. It was that OutKast song that I once heard somebody call "wacky", and I knew he could hear it too. And I knew he could feel it just like I did, catching some words from it, staring into my eyes.</p><p>It was clear now. Hell, we were lovers. From the thing, Marshall said, there was no coming back for us. He never promised anything but he was there and he cared. He cared so much to say he was losing his mind and the rest of it it didn't matter. The next day for two of us didn't exist. Because the night was only made to saying things that you can't say tomorrow day. Because it belonged to lovers. Because being so close to each other could only mean an incurable fever that was supposed to be stopped by the long-awaiting release.</p><p>
  <em>Let me show your mind a new freaky side of love...</em>
</p><p>I felt his gentle but strong hand moving up my thigh slowly, his eyes never losing mine as my body shivered from the touch, letting him do what he wanted. His torso leaned at me, closing the distance, pushing me to sit on the table and letting him in between my legs without hesitation. The action making me feel the rapid rhythm of his heart beating, chest to chest with me, the hot sensation from his breath lingering on my lips.</p><p>
  <em>Hitting every spot of you what you gonna do</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Your body's the rhythm of the boom in the room...</em>
</p><p>I watched Marshall's hand reaching the hem of my dress, making it go up and effortlessly turning his willingness into reality. Fingers undoing the clasp on my stockings skillfully, the other hand of his mirroring the action and making me hold my breath desperately. The lustrous glance of his teasing desiring eyes following the movement of his hand as it rolled down the thin black fabric of the stockings along my leg, leaving a shiver on the exposed skin. My heels were left on the floor immediately as his other hand did the same to another stocking. Every touch sensual and breathtaking, spinning my head with burning anticipation.</p><p>Marshall raised his eyes at me again, and his hands stopped their movements to meet my glance from under my eyelashes. The lust flashed in his pupils, taking my thoughts away, fascinated by the handsome lines of his face and...</p><p>
  <em>Up and down it seems to go</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Oh my god, I think I'm about...</em>
</p><p>...I felt his lips capturing mine in the hungrily feverish passionate kiss.</p><p>
  <em>...to explo o o o de...</em>
</p><p>From that point, the action couldn't be stopped. I think the music was playing way too distantly to catch the tune but I could hear some of the words vividly, putting my hands around his neck to draw him closer to me. His lips were soft and tender driven by the need and the heat of his body, still filled with the fading anger, jealousy, frustration, and care was making my position on the table far from steady. His hands found my waist and the zip on my dress which I let him.</p><p>
  <em>My fingertips scan flesh so supple</em>
  <br/>
  <em>No longer a couple like two in one skin...</em>
</p><p>Marshall's fingers slid down my bare spine, raising the goosebumps with the slow and feathery touch, making me arch my spine in pleasure, pressing my front to his chest, and immediately feeling his lips sucking and kissing the skin of my neck. It was all too slow and way too fast simultaneously, it was like forgetting what those words actually meant to be.</p><p>
  <em>Where do you end and where do I begin</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Both brains become one sensually...</em>
</p><p>My fingertips were grasping the leather on his jacket tightly before he took it off to send it to the floor to grasp my thigh again. The movement of his hand under the hem going up to the hip, to my waist, and down again, finding the lace of my lingerie. Yet another demanding and powerful open-mouthed kiss catching the agonized gasp somewhere in between my lips.</p><p>
  <em>Every nerve becoming its own individual entity</em>
  <br/>
  <em>With its own lusts, it's own needs to serve...</em>
</p><p>I sent my hands under the fabric of his T-shirt, anxious to feel the muscles on his chest and stomach flex lightly, reacting to my loving touch, and the movements of his lips turned into craving. I never wanted someone so much, I never trembled in somebody's hands like that, I never felt someone so strongly. And his hips were eager to meet mine as if proving: even that wasn't enough.</p><p>
  <em>Longing for the love of all the other nerves</em>
  <br/>
  <em>As they writhe and twist in satisfaction...</em>
</p><p>Marshall's mouth left mine only to find my neck again and go down my chest to the lace of my bra and down to my stomach, making me put my fingers in his short hair. I forgot when he took his T-shirt off, and I never remembered his almost angry grip on my bum. For that moment, we weren't close, we were inseparable.</p><p>
  <em>In a burning chill of pleasure we bathe</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Enfolding, encompassing like a cataclysmic shockwave...</em>
</p><p>His lips were everywhere, and there was nothing I could and wanted to feel other than him. I barely heard it when he pronounced breathlessly, leaving the endless small kisses along my jaw and raising his head to capture my eyes with a full of lust gentle glance of blue eyes:</p><p>'Fuck, Ella, baby, I <em>can't</em> stop...'</p><p>
  <em>Of an impact so deep, but not one of destruction</em>
  <br/>
  <em>But of creation, elation in the re-making...</em>
</p><p>There was a small pause that lasted not more than a second. His chest was rising and falling, waiting for my answer, and his hands never stopped holding me the closest way possible. I felt so precious and secure that it was worth it to forget about the things that were probably right to do at that moment. And so I brought my hand to his cheek and moved my lips, whispering the answer in the abrupt needy kiss.</p><p>
  <em>No faking in the relation, no taking in the relation</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Just giving of the persona...</em>
</p><p>'Then, please, <em>don't...</em>'</p><p>
  <em>Making love after making love...</em>
</p><p>That's right, just like that.</p><p>It all happened on my kitchen table after one more argument. I never imagined that crazy night ending like that but to be fair, I never imagined something like that between us the first day we'd met. I'd been holding back for too long for the way I felt about Marshall, and I knew it could've played a dirty game with me. But I just couldn't help it. It all defined the single but mind-blowing fact that <em>he cared</em>.</p><p>Moving in sync with him with a one and only thought not to let go, I knew the sound of the music was slowly dying down behind the window, melting into the soft darkness of the rose-gold Detroit May night.</p><p>
  <em>Till ain't nothing but...</em>
</p><p>Till ain't nothing but the heat of the next morning.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oh, hi🙂 How are we doing? I'm a bit nervous because of this experiment with song involvement here. I hope that you enjoyed it just a bit even if you don't like the song. And yeah, I have a thing for men who care and I just felt that it suited the plot and Marshall in general🌝</p><p>So, Ella and Marshall finally got to the business. Thoughts?</p><p>Anyway, leave a like or comment to express your opinion on the chapter and encourage me to continue, post frequently. Appreciate the constant support you give me, guys🥰 Much love!</p><p>P. S. I just started a new fic called "Killer" with Marshall and original character so maybe you'd like to check that out👀 And a quick reminder about my Em and Rihanna "The Hills" fic. Thank you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. The outcome</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>But no more worries, rest your head and go to sleep,</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Maybe one day we'll wake up and this'll all just be a dream</em>
</p><p>I think that there are only two ways to wake up from an unforgettable night with someone you'd desired for way too long. One, it could be the world's biggest happiness. Two, it could be a nightmare in reality. And I highly doubt there was something in between. Certainly, not with Marshall.</p><p>I found it hard to process everything that happened with me and him on that absolutely insane night. First, it was Josh, the creepy guy Prince at the club, and then that talk in the kitchen of my apartment. Marshall really said he lost his mind because of me and how could I do anything to resist it? We wanted each other. For those couple of weeks we spent together working on the project for "Wave", it'd been hanging in the air between the two of us probably since the teasing on the basketball playground. And I promised not to succumb for as long as it was possible but that night was the edge of the roof. I jumped with no regret and naturally, had to face the consequences in the morning.</p><p>The last thing I remembered was dozing off to sleep in Marshall's arms somewhere in the soft sheets of my bed. It'd been a while since I'd let someone to my place since my break up with Jake, and it must have felt a bit weird to do that again but I never noticed it. Something was in the way Marshall treated me that night, something was in the way of feeling him to the full that made everything happen for us. And I hoped for it to be anything but fleeting, even though I had good reasons to doubt that.</p><p>I opened my eyes from the bright ray of the sun looking into my window, unmercifully blinding my sight. I would've thought it was a warning for being late to work but somehow managed to recall that it was Saturday on the calendar. So, I closed my eyes again lazily, trying to go back to sleep. Or more accurately, diligently trying to. And if not one very striking thought crossing my mind that moment, I would've surely succeeded in my attempts to finish watching my dreams.</p><p>But I woke up alone in my white fluffy sheets that morning.</p><p>Damn. It should've been something close to panic. At first, I felt something very heavy instantly forming in my chest and when I opened my eyelids, the empty picture of the room proved it more. The crumpled sheets on the other side of the bed and a lonely white pillow beside my own one didn't fail to give an upsetting impression. Sitting up slowly and putting the blanket closer to my naked body, I figured it seemed like I became a hero of the cliche "I've told you so" situation.</p><p>9:07 am on the clock. What a way to wake up, huh?</p><p>I looked around for any sign of Marshall around the room. Everything seemed just the way I'd left it before going to the battle event: the CD player, the clothes, the phone, the notes laying here and there. The only things ruining that habitual atmosphere were my dress and stockings laying lonely somewhere on the floor, and I sighed heavily, letting my fingers travel through my lightly curled hair mindlessly. Maybe, it wasn't the time to make the big and final conclusions. But where was he?</p><p>Finding no answer, I let my body plop down on the mattress tiredly again. All the options for Marshall's absence were starting to form in my head to prevent myself from any kind of disappointment and decide what to do next. He could've had some urgent thing to do, he could've had some important place to be, he could've postponed the conversation about what happened for later. Something inside of me, though, was telling me that usually in situations like that everything is a lot easier.</p><p>Marshall escaped in order to make it a good old one-night stand, didn't he?</p><p>Before I could've continued my reasonings any further, I heard the sound of the phone ringing on my bedside table. My first instinct was to get it as soon as possible in a desperate hope to see Marshall's name on the screen. It could've explained everything and calm down my way too bright imagination.</p><p>But much to my disappointment, it was only Josh calling. Of course, I should've known.</p><p>'Ella? Hi, how are you? Decided to check on you after last night'.</p><p>Josh's voice on the other side of the line came out a bit awkward and uneasy, a lot more unsure than I'd gotten used to hearing it. It surely must have been the result of the night before, the conversation with Marshall, and I felt myself getting a bit tense from the sound of it. Not only because I felt guilty in front of Josh for Marshall talking with him that way but also because of the empty spot beside me on the bed. There was no chance I could've just dropped the thought of it and talk to Josh as if nothing happened.</p><p>Not gonna lie, I sensed the freshly cooked disappointment.</p><p>'Hey, thank you. I'm fine, sorry for yesterday again' I mumbled somehow distantly, making up some phrase in my mind to try to make the talk work. It should've been not that difficult to focus but the bitter taste on my tongue had already appeared. What was that thing about not making any conclusions? Uh...</p><p>'No, no, no. I actually wanted to say sorry myself. I apologize if I said something wrong. It was only later when I realized that I let my emotions get ahold of me' Josh uttered sincerely with small hesitant pauses, and I dropped my gaze at my fingers with somehow sad realization. It was the kind of apology I wished to hear from Marshall. But he never said one and now I was waking up alone. It probably wasn't the time to compare, especially when I didn't know the truth. But in a moment like this, I just couldn't help it. Goddamn, where the hell was he?</p><p>'I appreciate you saying that. Let's just forget it, nevermind' I sighed heavily, leaning back at the headboard of my bed and closing my eyes for a moment. I didn't feel like discussing that situation any more time. After all, it was a brand new day, wasn't it?</p><p>'You sound upset, did something happen?'</p><p>Oh no, that was the first thing I thought. I didn't want Josh to ask what happened because I couldn't really tell if something happened at all. It's just there is always this bad thing about hesitations that drive you crazy more than any kind of grief. And I was upset, for real. But how could I explain it without giving out everything?</p><p>'No, I just woke up in a bad mood' yeah, the award-winning world's best excuse. When you can't make up anything a bit more decent, it's the best one to use. Well, did it matter anyway?</p><p>'Doesn't sound too convincing but if you don't want to tell, then I won't press' Josh's response was careful and maybe, a bit disappointed but when I was ready to say something pleasant to reassure him, he continued:</p><p>'You know, I just wondered if I can ask you anything.'</p><p>'Sure, go ahead' I said with a bit of suspicion in my tone, not really enjoying where it all was leading. It was not only that I didn't want to discuss what I was upset about. It was also that I didn't feel like discussing anything at all. But I didn't want to be rude to Josh. He didn't deserve it.</p><p>'Yesterday I saw Eminem being all defensive around you and just his behavior when he saw us chatting. Is he the one from the work you've told me earlier about?'</p><p>Josh's tone was sheer but distant, and I had to admit that it was something I had to predict. I started it all by telling him about the feeling I'd been having around Marshall, and the night before the two worlds collided to leave me with no directions on what to do. I had questions to answer, I had calls to make, I had to wake up alone that morning. God, why couldn't I just get it out of my head?</p><p>'I think it wouldn't make any sense to pretend he's not' I sighed heavily for what seemed like the fifth time that bracing morning, and it all seemed somehow almost funny. I could've surely told Josh it wasn't his business or something like that but I wasn't even in a mood to resist the question. Well, yes, it was Marshall I was talking about. Well, yes, I got involved somehow. Well, yes, it was all crap.</p><p>'Oh, I see' Josh responded a bit numbly, and I frowned at his quiet and pitiful voice. 'Do you think he's all serious with you?' he added in a more confident manner this time, making me play with the fabric of my blanket nervously. The second question was too close to what bothered me that morning. For real.</p><p>Was Marshall serious with me?</p><p>'I don't know. I hope so. But I really don't know.'</p><p>I tried to keep as much neutrality in my voice as I could but keeping the obsessive thoughts away was not that easy. It was embarrassing to feel so sad about the things you didn't even know but I guess, the doubts are the worst things in the world, aren't they?</p><p>'I try not to think about that much and I don't feel like discussing it honestly' I continued with a polite coldness in my tone, trying to give Josh a hint that he chose the wrong direction. Picking up the phone didn't seem like a good idea already. 'It's a tangled situation'.</p><p>'Alright, I'm sorry for bringing that up' I heard Josh swallow awkwardly on the other side of the line and caught that uncomfortable feeling. He was a good guy as it seemed but I wasn't keen on getting him involved in all the feelings I had. Especially, when I knew he liked me already.</p><p>'It's just you know, I really like you, Ella'.</p><p>Oh, see? Here it was.</p><p>The confessions just the moment I thought of it. Such an ironic thing, actually. I could see his point of view and I could feel some kind of sympathy to the way he had to look at me liking someone else. But damn, sometimes you just can't be sympathetic enough.</p><p>Sometimes you just wake up alone after the best night in your life...</p><p>'Josh, I...' I mumbled something under my breath as if not to keep silent. I didn't know what to say and to tell the truth, the phone was always such a shitty way to open up about such things.</p><p>'Yeah, don't worry, I know. I'm not stupid' he rushed to add in a worrying tone, noticing my lack of words. I'd been already thinking about the way to hang up and end the conversation because my head started to ache from that morning. But Josh added emotionally this time:</p><p>'All I want to say is that I truly care for you and if you need something, I'll try to be there for you.'</p><p>Okay... There it was, an "out of nowhere" phrase that all of sudden just warms you no matter how upset you are. Because even if you don't feel the same, how can you just ignore that? How can you reject it and throw it away? It just seemed cruel and unfair. I had to give Josh some credit he deserved and maybe, his support was something I truly needed.</p><p>'I really appreciate you saying that' I pronounced genuinely with my voice soft and grateful. I never meant to give him hope but I just felt like saying it. 'I'll keep that in mind'.</p><p>'Agreed then' Josh answered in a much more cheerful way, and I could imagine a small smile on his features that made me mirror his imaginary action. Wow, something nice happening this morning.</p><p>'Can I ask you to meet up tomorrow or that would be too pushy?' he added after a small pause, a careful note in his voice, warming me.</p><p>'No, I think that would be fine' I said convincingly, not really bothering by the easy manner of my answer. Josh was nice to me and that fact often made me feel like I owed him for not giving the same. Besides, it wasn't like I had any plans for Sunday. Unless, I was fond of sitting and thinking about Marshall all alone in my apartment, waiting for the situation to clear up. I just knew that if he hadn't called, then I would've had to wait until Monday.</p><p>And that sounded like a nightmare.</p><p>'Okay, great, then I'll text you and we'll agree about the details. Bye, Ella' Josh's voice was nothing but exciting at my response, and I felt some bitter lift of mood for a moment too. But only for a moment.</p><p>'Goodbye, Josh'.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>I threw my phone on the bedside table tiredly, covering my face with my hands and sinking in the sheets of my bed in an unsuccessful attempt to hide under them from everything. That morning was going far from what I imagined it to be the very moment I'd been going to sleep in Marshall's arms. And that was frustrating.</p><p>I rolled on my stomach and kicked off the sheets mindlessly, forgetting to enjoy the sensation of the fluffy sheets under my naked body and laying my head on my bent arm. I knew it was time to get up, get dressed, and do something but I just couldn't. I couldn't get my mind off the one and only man that I was so scared to trust and eventually, it turned out to be that I might have been right about it.</p><p>I think I was so scared to be right that I didn't even hear the sound of the front door opening and closing. Oh, how could I?</p><p>'Fuck me... What a sight'.</p><p>The familiar delicious velvety tone reached my ears as I turned my head over my shoulder to meet the pair of two blue captivating eyes staring back at me. I didn't have to think twice to embrace the feeling of relief overwhelming me, making my body feel lighter at the realization. <em>No one else but Marshall</em> was leaning on the door frame of the room lazily, watching me in what felt like fascination, letting me see the spark of desire in his gaze lightened by the sunshine of the window. My first instinct was to cover myself up to avoid his shameless glance at my nudity but somehow the numbness of the moment got ahold of me.</p><p>There was something in his eyes that drove me not to do that.</p><p>'Don't look at me like that.'</p><p>I said somehow shyly and daringly at the same time as if he really didn't have a right to watch me after leaving me earlier. The point was his glance was making me pleasantly uncomfortable, I don't think anyone had ever looked at me like that.</p><p>'Why?' he raised a corner of his mouth at me teasingly only to quit it right when his eyes roamed over my body again. Heavenly, temptingly and lazily at the same time. The things his glance was doing to me were scary to realize. I adored it.</p><p>'I didn't expect you to come back' I pronounced slowly and quietly, barely audible with the hesitant note in my tone when I couldn't hold it back anymore. I was sure my cheeks were already red by the position we happened to be into, and I wouldn't have been surprised if my whole body was rosy pink now too. The thought of him coming back, looking at me like that, and bringing up the feelings in my chest was dizzy-like. I couldn't imagine us going from that first meeting at his studio to this, but how wonderful was it to make that a reality.</p><p>'Well, I'm back and I regret none.'</p><p>His lips formed a small deceiving smirk as his eyes traveled along my skin torturously, somehow cunningly, and I felt a shiver running down my spine as the urge to cover myself rose the highest way possible. I really didn't expect Marshall to come back so that sudden appearance of his turned my mind upside down. The one minute you were completely devastated and now you were barely catching your breath because of the presence of that man in your room.</p><p>Was it what liking someone so much felt like?</p><p>'I actually had to go but I would never forgive myself leaving you here laying like that alone'.</p><p>Marshall's voice turned into a serious one even though the habitual grin never left his lips. I watched him leisurely crossing the room while holding my eyes and in a moment felt the weight of his body next to me on the bed. He sat down beside me, the fluffy white wall from the blanket slightly separating us, though, basically placing me on the palm of his hand. My hair fell on my eyes disobediently, making the picture of Marshall slurred by my rapid heartbeat.</p><p>'I just wouldn't be able to sleep.'</p><p>His seducing satin tone touched my ears again and then I felt his fingers softly running down my bare spine.</p><p>I winced slightly at the unexpected gesture and caught him chuckling in satisfaction, blue eyes knowing perfectly about the effect his gentle touch had on me. It seemed like there was nothing more vulnerable than being exposed like that <em>in front of him.</em></p><p>
  <em>For him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Because of him.</em>
</p><p>I was still unsure if all of it was true so when he bent closer to replace his fingers with his lips, I let out a soundless gasp. His hands found their place on my hips and I felt him leaving a road of sensual feathery light kisses along my spine. When his mouth reached the base of my neck, I had to arch my back in pleasure, feeling the touch of his hands on my body. It was impossible not to react.</p><p>The initiative was a lot more tender than it'd been at night. The feeling of his kisses was almost like an apology. Unspoken and gentle, in some way even promising and caring and there was no chance I could think about something else that moment. The night before our anger and emotions were spilled right on the table of my kitchen and now it was all about enjoying each other to the full.</p><p>'Turn around to me'.</p><p>He whispered in my ear almost pleadingly, and I couldn't resist the softness of that wording, the unusual and tender tone mixed with the hotness of his breath on my shoulder. I would lie saying I remembered how I ended up on his lap, chest to chest pressed and eyes glued to each other.</p><p>'Where did you go?'</p><p>I asked quietly in a heavy breath, very much aware of the secure position of his hands on my waist and hips, holding me closer to him, making the skin on my body cover in goosebumps from the sensation of the fabric of his leather jacket and a white hoodie. His blue eyes looking at me attentively and hungrily, the cocky expression from the minute before turning to serious and focused. The contrast between his clothed and my naked body making the air in the room raise up to a higher degree.</p><p>'Paul called me about some urgent stuff for the label and I was already on my way there to sort things out' Marshall answered in a low silvery voice, just as quietly as me, pressing his forehead to mine as if someone could've heard it. I put my hands on his chest under the jacket, drawing the patterns of his muscles with my nails on the fabric of the hoodie nervously. It was hard to listen to his words being so close, my position in his arms and the vulnerability of it was intoxicating.</p><p>'Why did you come back?' I licked my lips anxiously, tasting the hot air of his breath on them. His thumb caressed the skin under my breast and I had just a little control left not to fall into pieces.</p><p>Crazy, I was crazy about him.</p><p>'I knew I was doing wrong' Marshall sighed heavily pressing his forehead at me to close his eyes for a short moment. 'I have to be honest that I thought it would be a really good way to make it look like a one-time thing' he added sincerely, placing his hand on my chin and brushing my cheek with his thumb slowly. Something froze in me, understanding that my suspicions were dangerously close to the truth. So, he changed his mind?</p><p>'But I realized I wouldn't be able to act distant with you for too long.'</p><p>I stopped the movements of my nails on his chest and parted my lips to answer something but didn't find any words to say. His glance was the only thing that mattered and that extreme head-spinning feeling inside of me was just like the air between our lips - meant to be shared by the kiss. Marshall knew the response, he could feel that in the trembling of my body under his hands. He bent his head to touch my lips with his, the heavy relief of the tension becoming a taste in my mouth.</p><p>It was a slow and passionate kiss that fogged my mind along with the tight grip of his hands on me. His touch lost any shame, traveling over my body the way it pleased to, showing me what a true lust felt like. His hands studied the skin of my thighs and stomach, up and down from my neck to my chest. A rollercoaster of feelings and sensations inside me made everything lose its beautiful focus.</p><p>Maybe, it wasn't right to let him do so much when everything felt so unstable still, but I guess, I didn't want to make a choice anymore, forcing him to take his jacket off with my hands impatiently.</p><p>'Uh, you have to slow down, baby. I really have to go'.</p><p>Marshall muttered somewhere in between the kisses, parting out lips, and looking into my eyes once again with the sound of us panting heavily. That moment of being alone, being so close felt so crazy and yet so comforting and gentle as if we were used to it a long time before. It was scary to think where it all could've gone later. If it could've gone at all, could it?</p><p>'I thought you came back to stay' I raised my eyebrow at him somehow childishly, still unfamiliar with that "baby" thing he liked to use with me. It was so different from his usual manner that I couldn't help but swoon over it. If to choose to be anyone's "baby", then I would've wanted to be only his.</p><p>'I know, but I really have to go' Marshall answered with an apologizing look in his features that could be strangely called cute and adorable. I didn't know this side of him at all but I adored it already. 'Paul is probably blowing up my phone right now. I left it in the car but soon he will send CIA to search for me' he added with a small chuckle, enjoying his own one little joke at Paul. I couldn't hold myself back from smiling too.</p><p>'Okay, let's not make that happen' I let out a chortle, hiding my eyes from his in close proximity. Amazing feeling, simply amazing. Even the small jokes between us suddenly became so intimate.</p><p>'I really did myself dirty, though, seeing you all naked'.</p><p>He made a fake martyr look, making me laugh a little at his dorkiness. It was tasteful, thrilling, and a bit scary to be in his presence. Everything changed overnight so drastically that I didn't know how long it could've stayed that way. After all, what's next?</p><p>'Let's get up, remember, you have to go' I shoved him playfully, escaping his grip and taking my robe laying on the chair to cover myself up. I wouldn't have lied saying that my cheeks were still in a prominent red blush. Damn, I wish he would've really stayed with me more.</p><p>'Before I go, I brought the Encore CD from my car so you don't have to talk to that guy Josh anymore'.</p><p>Marshall got up from the bed, taking out a CD from his jacket, leaving it on the table in the most deadpan expression ever, and raising his glance at my reaction. Picking up my dress and stockings from the floor, I had to suppress the urge to raise my eyebrows at him in surprise and lay them somewhere mindlessly.</p><p>'Is it really so necessary for you to do that? I thought it's clear now that Josh is not a threat for you' I grumbled, letting out a small sigh. I didn't want to have any kind of argument after such a good moment we shared that morning but I couldn't hide the fact that I didn't like him pushing this subject.</p><p>'Let's face it, he was never a threat for me' Marshall commented smugly and proudly, giving me a wink. 'I just don't want that punk to be around you. I don't like him.'</p><p>'Well, for your information, that punk, as you said, called to apologize today' I answered in a sarcastic tone, feeling the annoyance at Marshall's behavior coming back at me from the day before. Yeah, it looked like not everything could've been solved by releasing the sexual tension. Unfortunately.</p><p>'Oh, how kind of him' Marshall snorted in irritation, frowning, and I could tell the quarrel was not that far as it seemed to be. 'Guess what, he's doing that because he wants to look nice in your eyes, fucking prick' he added poisonously, starting to heat up. I didn't like where it was leading.</p><p>'At least, he's trying to look nice and all you are trying to do is making me a toy you don't want to share with anyone.'</p><p>I pronounced in calm "as a matter of fact" kind of way, somewhere deep inside regretting the cozy babble we'd destroyed by this stupid fight. I didn't want to hurt him with that comparison cause it was clear that I couldn't put him on the same level with anyone but I didn't like to be dictated. And I wanted him to know.</p><p>'If you like his attitude that much, then why don't you just run into his arms?' Marshall made a grimace at me, adding as much venom to his words as he could. It all felt foolish and I couldn't believe we went from making out to this in one second. 'I'm sure he's sitting waiting for you to call, all ready to be as nice with you as you want' his blue eyes filled with anger, showing me how much he didn't like Josh for real, and I felt that the continuation of the topic from the day before was absolutely senseless.</p><p>'Because you are fucking idiot!'</p><p>I let out emotionally, hearing my voice as if it wasn't mine, not really used to shouting or talking so loudly. My lips parted from the heavy breathing of my chest as I saw Marshall looking at me surprised by this sudden burst of my feelings. I was frustrated that he was so unfair to me when I didn't even give him a reason to think Josh was somebody to worry about. I was there, with him, in my apartment, and it wasn't even about Josh. I just wanted to be trusted or was it actually too much to ask?</p><p>'I don't know why you even need to bring up Josh at all' I sighed in frustration without letting him react, just watch me partially numb and quiet. 'I was here all morning upset because I thought you left and it was all just another hook-up for you' I continued devastatingly, feeling something heavy in my chest from the thing I was saying. Being so open wasn't exactly easy to do in front of him but I knew there was no other way to bring Marshall to his senses. And the way his eyes were softening at my confessions, I knew I was doing the right thing. 'I felt so bad when Josh called that yes, you know, his apologizes were actually kind of nice to hear' I lowered my glance at my fingers, noticing I was playing with them to distract myself. I just hoped he would listen.</p><p>'But how can you tell me to run into his arms when after this night <em>yours</em> are the only ones I want to be in?'</p><p>I raised my eyes at him to meet the regretful tender color of them already looking at me. Perhaps, the sense of my words was a little too vulnerable for people who spent just one night together but that was how I felt, and I didn't want to keep that in secret. Especially, when he was so eager to make me his and only his, wasn't he?</p><p>I was waiting for Marshall to answer something but nothing came out from his lips. For a moment, I thought that it would've stayed that way, but then he made a step in my direction, and I felt two of his arms wrapping around me, bringing me closer to his body. A heavy sigh escaped him somehow apologetically, and I couldn't help but returned the gesture, resting my head at his chest and closing my eyes. I couldn't even hope it would've worked but it did.</p><p>'I'm sorry, it's just I don't want any motherfucker to have a thing for <em>my girl</em>'.</p><p>Marshall's voice sounded soothing and gentle as his fingers grazed the fabric of a robe on my waist protectively as if saying there was nothing that could've harmed me. Not even he. And I couldn't understand if I heard that right but the words he pronounced made something in me melt way more than any hot things he'd said the day before. I never believed that the acting role I took for him in that club, in front of Chelsea, could've become a reality. But to speak truthfully, it'd been all I'd been waiting for.</p><p>'Your girl?' I muttered his phrase quietly, turning my head slightly to meet his eyes, something in me still being afraid of the question, still being unsure of the answer. It was pretty clear what he said but I was scared it was just another meaningless thing, and he would've made up some explanation for it. Please, anything but not this.</p><p>'Who do you think you are?' Marshall cocked his eyebrow at me playfully, a small sparkle in his glance giving me all the existed promises and making my chest feel lighter at the sound of his tone.</p><p>'Of course, you are my girl. I want everyone to know that now'.</p><p>I didn't manage to control a smile coming to my lips, but Marshall didn't waste a minute to catch them in a quick but hot kiss. His hands circled my waist tighter and I wished the moments like these could've lasted forever. I couldn't get enough simply of the way he was, and it was head-spinning to know he felt the same.</p><p>'I'm afraid Paul has already hired a tracking team at least' I chortled lightly, breaking the kiss and catching my breath. Marshall rolled his eyes in a fake annoyance. I loved that mood on him.</p><p>'I'll come and tell him he ruined a morning with my girl. He'll never be able to pay me back for it' he told me with a deadpan expression, letting me go without much enthusiasm. I opened my mouth to chuckle and say something else but suddenly heard a weak ringing sound coming through as if from the room next to us.</p><p>'Wait, what is it?'</p><p>I asked in confusion, freezing on my spot to hear the sound better. It started to increase drastically and coming closer and closer to me without any hint at the direction of the source. It might have resembled the ringing of my phone but it shouldn't have been since my phone was laying on the bedside table. Um...</p><p>'What do you mean?' Marshall's face looked at me weirdly, apparently having no idea what I was talking about. But the ringing sound refused to stop, becoming only louder and louder by the minute. What the hell?</p><p>'Don't you hear the sound of something ringing?' I uttered in an uneasy tone now, finding it extremely strange that Marshall didn't catch up with me. Was I imagining it?</p><p>'What sound?' he responded concerned and suddenly, with the obsessive ringing sound reached its culmination, coming right to my ears, and the picture in front of my eyes started to become blurry. I shook my head to get rid of the sensation but the process couldn't be stopped.</p><p>Just a moment and the lines of Marshall's face and posture along with the furnishing of my apartment mixed up together, enveloping my body with the fear of uncertainty. The last thing I could hear was the distant sound of Marshall calling my name and some distant muffled sounds. Everything disappeared in a black emptiness in front of me, dragging me down with it as the ringing became the only clear thing in the center of this madness. I fell through.</p><p>I didn't know how much time passed when I opened my eyes, sitting up on my bed as the weird ringing sound was coming out from the phone on my bedside table. My heart was racing and the thoughts in my head got tangled. I took the phone in my hand to see Diana's name on the screen and picked it up still not realizing what exactly was happening.</p><p>'Hey, Ella, why don't you pick up the phone for so fucking long?'</p><p>Diana's loud annoyed voice appeared on the other side of the line, bracing me up a little. I rubbed my eyes slowly to force myself to wake up and answer properly.</p><p>'I'm sorry, we were just talking with Marshall and I...'</p><p>I stopped mid-sentence, turning my head to look at the window and see a cloudy Detroit sky appearing behind it as the image. A scary thought ran through my mind, and I sent my glance to the floor to see my stockings and dress laying there untouched, and I parted my lips, seeing my robe laying on the chair just like it did before the battle event. Perhaps, I didn't have to add that I was in my lingerie and there was no sign of Marshall in the room.</p><p>'Ella? You're there?' Diana's words reached me with a big delay and I was too numb to answer something. It seemed like some movie scene I didn't want to be a part of. 'You and Marshall what? What did you want to say?'</p><p>No, no, no, it just couldn't be.</p><p>'Diana, I'm sorry, I think I'll call you later, okay?'</p><p>I mumbled it mindlessly, hanging up without waiting for the response and lowering my gaze at the crumpled sheets beside me on the bed and the lonely pillow. Silence washed over me as I looked around the empty room, and the realization of Marshall's absence suddenly hit me.</p><p>That's right.<em> It was all a dream.</em></p><p>This time I woke up alone in my bed for real.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>My first words will be: please, don't hate me for this lmao. My second words will be: it's gonna be fine lol. I needed to rock the boat for a bit, I felt kind of anxious about my writing but now it's fine, we continue!🙂 Hope you enjoyed the dream.</p><p>Thoughts on Marshall leaving?👀</p><p>Anyway, please, leave a like or comment to express your opinion on the chapter and encourage me to continue, post frequently. Grateful for all the support! Much love🥰</p><p>P. S. Shamelessly promoting my other fic Killer again cause I can lmao❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Explanations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I was never good at trusting people. Maybe, I was always foolishly scared to get hurt by someone and opening up. Or jumping in the abyss of feelings frequently felt like a stupidity I would've never done. My whole life vision after the break up with Josh was straight and simple: don't fall for anyone too quick and don't let that "anyone" play with you. It seemed like I failed both and now had to find out where it was leading me.</p><p>Marshall didn't call. Hell, as if it wasn't predictable. In a situation like this, the last thing he wanted to do was know how I felt about it, and still, I was sitting staring at my phone all day long. And no, there was nothing to do about it.</p><p>It wasn't like I was surprised. I guess he warned me about it a couple of times and the fact that it all happened that night was just the result of tension and our emotions. I wasn't able to stop. He wasn't able to stop. Shit happens in life so why make a fuss about it, right? Except, I felt just a little bit too upset and no rational thinking was able to help with that.</p><p>I was fucked up. Strongly and cruelly fucked up.</p><p>'I just don't understand.'</p><p>Denaun's frustrated voice rang in my ears, mixing with the sound of the TV news going at the medium volume, flashing in front of my eyes with the colorful blue lightened images. Mariah Carey appeared on the screen in the news flash about "The Warning" and disappeared instantly to let the host announce a weather forecast. On Sunday it was cloudy but warm in Detroit and it was such a shame I paid attention to it as much as I did to Denaun talking.</p><p>It was the next day, Denaun's crib and a little old debriefing.</p><p>'I just don't fucking understand!' Denaun repeated loudly for the tenth time in the row, going back and forth across the room with a furrow on his features. The TV going in the background was not much of a disturber for his active thought process and so was his rapid walking. Huh.</p><p>'What the hell you don't understand?'</p><p>The owner of the oh so polite answer was no one else but Royce. He was sitting on the couch, leaning on the backrest lazily, watching Denaun with a skeptical expression and throwing his glance at the TV without a big interest. Looking at his behavior, it was hard to imagine he was the one calling me and inviting me over to Denaun's place to have a talk. It seemed like he knew everything Denaun was so devastatingly trying to find out. Or maybe, he was just pretending.</p><p>'He's an asshole, that's all you have to know by now' he added in a well-made despise, throwing Denaun one of those "oh come on, buddy, it's obvious" unimpressed looks. For some reason, it felt like a scene from a sitcom.</p><p>'But we didn't teach him like that!' Denaun parried with a legit serious parental expression as if Marshall was some naughty son he gave the whole life of his to raise. Judging by the devastation and anger in his tone the son was not only naughty but ungrateful. After all, nothing could be worse for a loving parent, am I right?</p><p>'What are you talking about?' Royce's face turned into a funny grimace, unfortunately refusing to buy the nonsense Denaun was so eager to express. But at least, now he was in full attention. 'We never taught him anything' he added with a wry snort, making some helpless gestures with his hands as if proving Denaun's foolishness.</p><p>'Maybe, that's the problem, Royce. Maybe, this is the goddamn problem!'</p><p>Denaun's answer was passionate and a bit comical with the severe gesture of his index finger that resembled the teacher's pointer. At that point of the conversation, Denaun couldn't really decide who he wanted to be for Marshall in that situation: a parent or a life teacher. Perhaps, both?</p><p>'Ella!'</p><p>The next shot was aimed at me as Denaun's frustrated glance tried to make a hole in my head with the intensity of that momentary staring. For the whole hour that we spent "discussing" what had happened with me and Marshall a day before, I barely said a word. Not only because I'd already told them everything briefly and calmly, everything they were asking for. But also because, to tell the truth, I couldn't help but feel really upset, staring at the moving images of the TV screen. And even if they couldn't distract my attention, at least, they were preventing me from taking part in the conversation.</p><p>'What?'</p><p>I turned my head at Denaun almost emotionlessly, acting like he disturbed my very much entertaining TV watching and hoping for him not to start any kind of pitiful questions. But when I saw his eyes softening at my neutral expression and his mouth opening to say something, we heard Denaun's phone ringing loudly with a TLC classical ringtone. Oh wow.</p><p>'Fuck, this must be Fifty' he cursed under his breath, accompanied by Royce's series of giggles, and picked up the phone to answer.</p><p>'Yo, Fifty? Thank God. Let me tell you, this motherfucker ruined everything!'</p><p>The amount of emotions Denaun was spilling through this whole thing was crazy. It felt like the thing that happened between me and Marshall was such a big deal for everyone that now we were making gatherings and making interstate phone calls. If I had seen the team of physiologists and analytics coming to Denaun's house that day, I wouldn't have been even slightly surprised. And I didn't know how to feel about it.</p><p>'Yes! He left. He got a chance with Ella, literally the first normal girl that was ready to put up with his ass and he fucking left!' the more Denaun was talking the more emotional were his gestures and words. If not that state of mine, I would've even found it hilarious to look at. Royce was trying to intervene to say something and explain the situation better which was only turning it into one big circus. And unfortunately, I was the participant.</p><p>'No, I didn't speak to him but believe me, I really want to' Denaun turned his head to the sides a couple of times and adding some menacing overtones to his voice. Whatever Fifty was telling him, the talk seemed to be "extremely serious". 'Royce, Fifty wants to talk to you' he pronounced in a moment with a formal glance and passing the phone to Royce. I had to sigh heavily, focusing my attention on the screen and secretly coming up with excuses to leave. It wasn't like I didn't appreciate their concern. I think I just wasn't in a mood to deal with it, you know?</p><p>'Yeah, man, of course, she's upset. How else would you feel dumped in the morning?' Royce took the phone, getting up from the couch, and starting to make just the same repetitive walk as Denaun a few moments before. Maybe, it was some type of thinking stimulation. Otherwise, I couldn't find any other explanation for it. 'We invited her over to talk and she told everything. Some intense shit happened on the battle event with Trick-Trick and some creep involved and Em finally stopped pretending he doesn't care about her'.</p><p>'Yeah, only to fuck up everything the next day' Denaun commented poisonously, putting his hands on his chest as if Marshall's actions were a personal offense to him. I still was trying to figure out what the hell was happening, though.</p><p>'Shut up, Porter, I'm talking!' Royce shushed at Denaun with a threat, giving him an annoyed glance. 'No, we didn't try to reach out to him. Ella asked us not to. That's what I'm saying, what are we supposed to do?'</p><p>I felt like my head was starting to spin. What did they mean by "what are we supposed to do?". It was crazy, it wasn't even their business, and still, they were acting like I wasn't even a part of the conversation. For me, no matter how upsetting it was, the situation was pretty clear: Marshall used me just like any other fuck girl in his life and now I just had to get over it.</p><p>Well, I believed I could just get over it, right?</p><p>'Ella, Fifty wants to talk to you' I heard Royce's voice right above me as I zoned out from my thoughts for a couple of moments and raised my glance to meet his expecting face. God, the phone passing game now reached me.</p><p>'What are you turning this into? Now each of you's gonna give me a pep talk and then we'll sit in the circle and discuss it like on some shitty TV program?' I raised my eyebrows calmly but without any attempt to hide my irritation and tiredness from everything that was going on. I was sad and I knew nothing could've changed that so they might have as well let me be sad in peace.</p><p>'Ella, please, just take the phone and hear Fifty out' Denaun whined in a begging way, sending his glance to Royce for the support. Meeting Royce's warm eyes full of pleading, I sighed heavily and took the phone.</p><p>'Hi, Curtis' I mumbled carelessly, turning my head away from the dorks and rolling my eyes unwittingly, feeling their gazes studying my every movement. Oh, God...</p><p>'Ella, listen, I want you to calm down and not jump to the consequences' I heard Fifty's calm and laid back voice on the other side of the line speaking confidently which very much resembled the business tone he was accustomed to. I was really glad to hear him but to be honest, I didn't see any sense in all of it.</p><p>'I and Teala are already booking a flight to Detroit. We are soon gonna be there to deal with it.'</p><p>No, no, no, it couldn't be serious. I was stroked by lightning. Every new suggestion was better than the last one. I really might have thought I was taking part in some TV show but just forgot about it. Because all of this madness was starting to feel unreal and chaotic. I felt my head growing, risking becoming an air balloon and pop from tension. I was ready to burst out.</p><p>'What the hell are you talking about? Don't come here, don't call Marshall, don't try to deal with it. Just stay out of it!' I heard my tone rising with emotion, trying to control my confusion mixed with upset and sadness. All the feelings from the last two days washed over me and I really felt like shouting.</p><p>'But, Ella, girl, listen to me, he's just full of issues, that's why he left' Curtis continued in an explanatory manner, probably taking me for a child. 'He's afraid of commitment, all these bitches were fucking him up and he's scared you want to do the same. It's very hard for Em to trust someone.'</p><p>'How about the fact that it's way more simple?' I refused to give up, feeling how my own hurt was filling my chest to the edges. Waking up the day before alone in that bed was heartbreaking and I really didn't want to know any excuses. I waited for him to call or come, just do anything. But he didn't. 'It's not like any of this is your business but he knew that I didn't want to be a one-night stand and still, he did it. Maybe, it's not because of his issues. Maybe, he just doesn't care?'</p><p>'No, no, no, girl, we are going the wrong way' Fifty tried to calm me down in a rational and even somehow soothing tone but I just didn't feel like it. I believed I had a right to be upset and I was. 'He really likes you, he's just...'</p><p>'He's just an asshole!'</p><p>My voice cracked on the highest note, feeling that such emotional reaction was way out of character for someone who'd been neutrally and quietly staring at the TV screen just a few minutes before. The room fell into silence, Royce and Denaun opened their mouths for a moment only to close them and put a knowing sympathetic expression on their faces. Fifty on the other side of the line became quiet for a moment too and I felt how the heavy sensation in my chest dropped to the floor. The only thing left was my silent sorrow.</p><p>'I'm sorry, Curtis, I guess I'm just really upset with all of this even though I shouldn't have taken this so seriously, right?'</p><p>I leaned back on the sofa exhaustingly and gave Royce and Denaun a soft regretful glance. I was afraid to overreact but how else could you look at what happened? I genuinely liked Marshall. I grew fond of him and what was going on between us that night was really something I'd never experienced before. To think that it all was just another senseless hookup, to feel just like Roxy or anyone else for him was unbearable. And I tried to ignore it but damn, it was impossible.</p><p>'I just need some time to get over it to face him tomorrow at work' I continued weakly, trying to gather my thoughts together and thinking about ways to convince Fifty to stay out of it. I couldn't hide the fact that deep inside I was really flattered for them rooting and caring about our relationship with Marshall. But to be honest, there wasn't any actual relationship. We just spent a night together. That happens, doesn't it?</p><p>'Girl, I don't like the way you answer me. I hear you being sad about it' Fifty soothed me in a soft voice, resembling Jeff's way to comfort me any time I had trouble in the publishing. Curtis was a good guy and friend, no doubt, and it was such a shame I had so few chances to be around him. 'Let me talk to Marshall. I know that it's not what you think it is. I don't want any bad, you know how I do'.</p><p>'Thank you but I really don't want anyone to tell something to Marshall. It won't be right, you know?' I answered softly and maybe, even sounded way more sorry than I wanted to show. Well, look at you, Ella, you can't handle a simple one-night stand because of your stupid feelings. I guess, I never was good at taking things easy.</p><p>'Alright, but if you change your mind, call me and I'll do it, okay?' Fifty gave up reluctantly, and probably, it was the biggest sign of respect from him to me. We surely knew each other not that well but I could feel that he could understand me.</p><p>'Okay, thank you' I agreed firmly, somehow already knowing that I wouldn't have called him anyway. The big part of the play was my pride and in that case, even my emotions couldn't fight it.</p><p>I hang up to look at Denaun and Royce watching me with sad expressions and for a moment, I had an urge to smile a little at how much they were affected by the whole thing going on. And if I had been in a better mood, I would've really done it to cheer them up but I honestly had no strength for it.</p><p>'Damn, Ella, why don't you let us fix it all for you?' Denaun got up from his place to appear right beside me on the couch and put his hand around me in a brother-like hug. I couldn't help but found it adorable and leaned in the hug, feeling the genuine desire for someone to support me.</p><p>'Because she's a really cool chick. She has principles' Royce explained in a serious tone, shrugging in defeat, sitting beside me too on the other side of the couch. The TV in front of us was going the whole time, blue screen changing its images, but none of us paid attention. Secretly, I even wished Mariah to appear on the screen to entertain all of us at least for a moment.</p><p>'You know what? I really appreciate you, guys. It feels like I've been knowing you for ages' I told them truthfully, choosing this moment to be one of those sentimental ones that you are embarrassed to talk about afterward but pleasant to be in. Perhaps, the situation unleashed the sensitive part of me and I just wanted to say what I didn't have a chance to express.</p><p>'We like you too, Ella' both of them mumbled almost in a union, making the small chuckle finally leave my lips involuntarily. I think it was one of those rare moments when the two of them agreed on something, and I was glad that the reason was me.</p><p>'We could stay at mine and watch something, I would order some food. My girl Ciara is about to come soon. It'll be fun, you're in?' Denaun asked me in a hopeful tone, turning his glance at me in excitement. For a second, I even thought about staying.</p><p>'Sounds really fun, thank you, but I guess, I just want to be alone today for a bit' I brought my eyebrows together to show my regret and begging for understanding. As much as I loved being around guys, before Monday and facing Marshall, I just need a little time for myself.</p><p>'Okay, I see, so you're leaving already?' Denaun suppressed a disappointed smile, taking a look at Royce to search for more opportunities to convince me. But Royce knew it all so he just kept silent.</p><p>'Yes, thank you two for everything today but I need to go' I turned my head at both of them to give each of my dorks a little grateful cheek kisses and stood up from my spot, gathering my things. I could swear I saw some blush forming on their faces but decided not to joke about it and hid my smile. Sometimes all you need in life is just the right people.</p><p>'We're taking you to lunch tomorrow then and you have no choice.'</p><p>Royce insisted warmly as both of them were following me to the door. I took my purse, nodded with a small smirk, and was ready to leave, putting my hand on the doorknob.</p><p>But as I was about to press it, we heard Denaun's doorbell ringing loudly.</p><p>'Woah, that must be Ciara, Ella, open the door'.</p><p>Denaun commented with a joyful smile, clearly glad to see his girl. I never knew you could find love in a strip club but oh well, here was the perfect example.</p><p>'Sure' I muttered casually, pressing on the doorknob and opening the door...</p><p>Only to have my small smile die down as on the threshold of Denaun's home I came face to face with the one and only reason for my current worries.</p><p>Marshall...</p><p>'What the hell is he doing here?'</p><p>Not a moment passed when I heard Royce's stiff whispering behind my back as I met two blue painfully familiar eyes staring at me a little from the above in a slight surprise and confusion. The lines of Marshall's face in the shadow of the hallway softened a little but he immediately composed himself, turning it into the stone-cold expression. His eyebrows furrowed at me as if studying my face, and I could perfectly feel how my courage and uplifting mood after the conversation with guys slipped away on their way. I wasn't ready to face Marshall nearly 10 minutes after my emotional breakdown about him. But oh well, I wasn't asked, was I?</p><p>'Shit, I forgot I invited him over to watch football today' Denaun cursed under his breath behind my back, and I must say, I was barely listening.</p><p>'What is going on here?'</p><p>Finally, Marshall's calm suspicious tone touched my ears as I vividly remembered this velvet voice whispering intimate pleasurable things to me, sending ticklish sensation to my skin. The dizzying images of us being together that night, the feeling of him being so close and so gentle to me made my breath instantly turn into an unsteady one. And he must have understood what it was all about as I saw him swallowing and turning his glance from me abruptly. Fuuuuck.</p><p>'Nothing, I was already leaving' I lowered my eyes from him in embarrassment, hearing my voice being far from neutral and emotionless. It was so amiss to meet him like this, it was so wrong to feel that helpless when he was supposed to be like that. But no, I wasn't about to stay and act friendly.</p><p>'No, no, no, now it's better for all of us to stay' Denaun made an attempt to act in a parental way again but I was not in the mood anymore, it was serious.</p><p>'I would love to but I really can't' I mumbled nervously, feeling Marshall's intense glance on my every movement that minute. Escape, escape, just fucking escape! But his figure was blocking the door and I wasn't ready to touch him, pushing him away.</p><p>'Let me out, I'm in a hurry.'</p><p>I raised my glance at Marshall again, adding as much perseverance as I could. It was a pity I couldn't read the real emotions on his face because I was dying for at least one little sign that he wanted to explain himself. I, on the other hand, was slowly but surely feeling myself turning into a mess.</p><p>'Well, since Ella is leaving, goodbye, Marshall, you have to leave too' Denaun made a fake pitiful look, shrugging as if it wasn't his thing to decide. Royce let out a small giggle.</p><p>'What the fuck are you acting out here?' Marshall pronounced in a stern scowl, not giving me a glance but not stepping away from the door either. 'I don't like this stupid grin on your face, Porter'.</p><p>'I'm sorry, the football game watching is canceled for today' Denaun walked over to us nonchalantly, pushing astonished Marshall from the door to the outside and turning to look at me. 'Thank you for coming too, Ella. Please, call us when you get home so we know how you talked to this asshole' he added with a polite warm smile, pushing me gently out of the door too.</p><p>And before I could open my mouth, the door was already closed behind my back and I was left alone with Marshall in the front yard of Denaun's house. Really? Oh, fucking marvelous!</p><p>'They are peeking through the curtains in the living room'.</p><p>Marshall uttered with no particular intonation, nodding at the window behind me and as I turned my head to take a look, I noticed the curtain moving strangely. Oh yeah, sure.</p><p>'I wouldn't expect anything else' I muttered wryly, dropping my glance on my fingers and feeling the awkward atmosphere becoming an unwelcomed guest between the two of us. I wasn't sure why he didn't go away and decided to say something but I hoped it meant that he wanted to talk.</p><p>'Is this, though, the only thing you want to say to me after <em>that night</em>?'</p><p>I couldn't hold myself back from asking after a small pause, feeling the emotions getting ahold of me and raising my glance to look at his face almost fearlessly. Something conflicting was in the glance of his blue eyes, and all I really wanted him was to put his arms around me and tell me that everything was alright. Just no to feel so bad, starting this conversation. Was it too much to ask?</p><p>'Is there really much to say about it?' the mindless notes of his tone surprised me as his gaze traveled in between my features loosely. Like I ruined the simplicity of the situation. Like, I asked something he didn't see any sense to talk about.</p><p>'So, you say there isn't?'</p><p>'Listen' he sighed somehow distantly as if all of a sudden getting bored with my question and oh so kindly tolerating the surprised expression of my raised eyebrows. The change in him seemed to be way too drastic compared to Friday and I almost didn't believe it. And I almost wished we kept silent.</p><p>'Girl, the thing we had that night at your place was really nice. But you know <em>I'm not</em> the relationship type.'</p><p>His voice was calm and steady, breath sure as I felt my heart sinking in my chest. Seeing the empty spot on the bed next to me that morning wasn't exactly the same as hearing it from Marshall in person. His handsome features were almost emotionless and unbothered, with no shadow of hesitation on its lines and I felt my body trembling from nervousness.</p><p>No, he really couldn't do that to me, could he?</p><p>'I didn't know that the things you said about you losing your mind because of me was the part of the hookup prelude' I let myself a sarcastic sharp note, feeling deluded and silly with the things I was pointing out. Even if it made sense, he didn't really look like he cared.</p><p>'You'd be surprised what a man can say in a moment like that. It was all on emotions and I didn't think straight' Marshall said simply, dispelling my comment as something small and insignificant. I reckoned it being too vicious and boy, I couldn't wrap my mind around his words. I just couldn't.</p><p>'It was fun, Ella, but that's really all about it.'</p><p>He added coldly and unwaveringly with the annoying, painful note of indifference to it. My urge to be cheeky and wry flew away momentarily, feeling the awful position he was putting me in. Marshall's expression was foreign, completely unfamiliar and I could bet that it was one of the sides of the Shady persona he tended to use sometimes. Maybe, my mistake was that I wasn't attentive enough to recognize it earlier.</p><p>'Telling me it right to my face and not running away wasn't an option?' I said quietly, swallowing a lump in my throat that, however, couldn't help the heavy stone on my chest. For some reason, it hurt way more than it should've been.</p><p>'I figured it would be better not to talk about it' he answered without even a small flinch, blue eyes looking at me somehow lazily, and I hated to be so small and weak under his glance. We were standing not far away from each other but he on the huge distance, so cold to touch that I didn't even know what to say.</p><p>'Oh, you figured' I repeated with a small bitter chuckle, lowering my glance for a moment and losing the focus I needed so much. Bitter, all I could feel was "bitter". He surely didn't owe me anything but I foolishly thought we were on the same page after that night.</p><p>'So, you're saying you <em>used me</em> because you didn't think straight?'</p><p>The question slipped through my mouth faster than I was able to catch it. Because saying it really was my biggest mistake. To sound hurt and regretful when he already said he didn't care was pathetic or maybe, that was just how it felt in reality. I saw something in Marshall's eyes changing at those words as if what I said grazed him somehow. Hearing his next phrase, though, I knew I must have imagined it:</p><p>'Let's not make a scene about it. You knew what was happening and what it was leading to. I've told you not even once that I'm no gonna get involved'.</p><p>His tone sounded irritated now and every word was severe and unmerciful. The scowl on his features deepened, and I immediately thought that the space of Denaun's front yard appeared to be too small for the two of us. It wasn't someone whose arms I was sleeping in that night. It wasn't Marshall who got in the fight for me, who confronted Josh and made sure I was safe from everything. It was the person I didn't get along with on the first day of my work and oh how terrible it was to come back to it.</p><p>'It's funny how in the end it's all my fault' I heard my voice becoming shaky and I knew that I couldn't cry right there, in front of him. That's what it was for real. A hookup with a star and nothing more about it. Maybe, I should've even considered myself lucky. Why couldn't I, though?</p><p>'I just thought that we <em>liked</em> each other.'</p><p>The sincere confession was my last hope and my strongest weapon. I looked directly into his eyes to find at least something that could've told me I was right. I couldn't just forget that "baby", I couldn't just let him make me a naive girl to fuck and leave and I couldn't let myself to make such a mistake.</p><p>I didn't want to regret the thing that happened because... Because I'd never felt that way before, you know?</p><p>'And I thought you did your research on me well for the articles'.</p><p>He faked a disappointed poisonous smirk that appeared to be way harder to handle than all of his words prior to it, and I felt my control losing its remote. I couldn't let him drag me down just like that. I knew I didn't deserve it.</p><p>'You know what?' I felt the anger and frustration inside me filling me up to the full as I felt my eyes becoming watery but held it back. My tone rose higher and became unfamiliar but I really didn't have any patience left.</p><p>'I'm apologizing then' I let the disappointment color my tone, ironically acting way calmer than I did in Denaun's living room. 'I'm apologizing for not taking Superman literally. For thinking that you might act differently and that I was wrong calling you "asshole" the first days we've met' I held my voice clear and confident, feeling slightly proud that I was able to do that under his absorbing blue eyes. 'Seems like the first impressions are right in some cases' I added almost venomously, trying to suppress the ache in my chest for those strong words.</p><p>'So, <em>fuck you</em>, Mr. Mathers'.</p><p>I pronounced every word as loudly and firmly as I could, watching Marshall's eyes changing its color with the realization of my word challenge. The anger in his pupils fired up in astonishment, and I could feel him not liking what I said. I might have spent a lot of power to do that but watching his eyebrows furrowing at me, probably desiring to say a lot but not finding any, was worth it. He humiliated me, treating me like a whore or a groupie but I had pride too and I wanted him to know.</p><p>'God, did she really say that? I can't believe it!'</p><p>No wonder I heard Denaun and Royce's voices behind my back as the front door of Denaun's home swung open, revealing two of them with amused expressions and foolish grins. I could almost physically feel that the blood was starting to boil in Marshall's veins and the flame in his eyes was my gift.</p><p>'Get the fuck back to the house and leave us alone!' Marshall threw at two of them angrily, giving both of my dorks a menacing glance. The vein on his neck tensed a little as his muscles defined under the pressure and I had to admit that even in that state of his, I admired the lines of his.</p><p>'Fuck no! It's a lot more entertaining than the football game. You should've seen your face!' Denaun covered his mouth with a hand to suppress giggles sharing a glance with Royce. I couldn't believe they were spying on us.</p><p>'I'll show you something more entertaining if you...' Marshall started with a new threat but I was tired of it. As much as sarcastic and prideful I was acting, I was still hurt. I just wanted to disappear not to take part in this argument. There was not much anyway anymore. We'd said it all.</p><p>'There is no need, I'm already leaving' I intervened, cutting the air with the words that were really hard to pronounce. Marshall's blue eyes stopped on me, watching my face heating up from emotions. At that moment, there were only two of us, and the shiver down my spine. I could feel his tension as much as he felt mine, and it was utterly breathtaking.</p><p>'Where are you going? Home?' Royce asked, completely ignoring whatever Marshall was about to say. 'You could've stayed for real'.</p><p>'Thank you once again but no, I'm not going home' I uttered, watching Marshall listening attentively. I suddenly felt an urge to say something provoking to fire up his rage. Something, just not to see that cold indifference I learned to hate already.</p><p>'I was going to go to Josh's.'</p><p>With the stunned glance of Marshall's, I knew it was a slap in the face. The slap that he deserved. He hurt me so much by his words, he was so cold and careless to me that I didn't know what else to do. And maybe, it was my mistake to show that so openly and be so obvious. But I didn't care. I wanted him to feel at least a drop of my frustration, and if he didn't feel jealous, I knew it hurt his pride.</p><p>'Have fun there!' Denaun exclaimed maybe way too enthusiastically, it just wasn't believable. But maybe, he wanted Marshall to react just like I did.</p><p>'Of course' I nodded with a well-made smile, taking a few steps to Marshall and raising my glance before passing him by. The smell of his fresh aftershave and the heat coming from his body in the middle of his rage was intoxicating. And his eyes were holding back from crushing something, even though his face seemed to be numb from my dare.</p><p>'Goodbye, Mr. Mathers, sorry for taking your time.'</p><p>I pronounced in a voice close to whisper and Marshall's glance studied every movement of my lips. My chest was rising and falling as I forced myself to hold his gaze for as long as it was possible.</p><p>Perhaps, it was all for us. Perhaps, it didn't really matter anymore. It was my hurt and his anger, my pride and his pride. He didn't want me so I guess, it was over but something in his eyes was making me wish it wasn't. Because the passionate anger couldn't be in them for something unimportant.</p><p>'Oh, buddy, she started to call you Mr, we are losing her'.</p><p>I heard Denaun's voice in a fake judgment talking as I was making my way from the house. It was almost funny if not a sad feeling inside me that all of it could've been in vain. He clearly didn't like me enough to stay after that night so why would he care? What if it was only his pride that made him angry at my words for real? And still, I was hoping he was watching me leaving.</p><p>'Not your goddamn business. I came to watch football' Marshall's irritated tone answered and it was the last thing I heard before sitting down in the taxi. He surely didn't sound regretful so maybe, I was right?</p><p>'He's angry, he doesn't like her going to Josh's'</p><p>Royce chuckled as all three of them were entering the house, and it was what I already couldn't hear.</p><p>'Predictable'.</p><p>Denaun sniffed with a fake "know-it-all" face and rolling his eyes before closing the door.</p><p>And I wished I could've heard that phrase 'cause my taxi driver wasn't really good at picking up songs to listen to on our way to Josh's place. But before I could tell him any necessary instructions for my radio picks, he made the volume louder, forcing me to get uncomfortable on my seat:</p><p>'<em>Cause I can't be your Superman, can't be your Superman</em><br/><em>Can't be your Superman, your Superman, your Superman...</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi! Addressing the last chapter mess with this update🙂 Hope that you had some fun after such a stress👀 Because I genuinely loved working on this chapter and you have no idea what I prepared for you! I hope no one hates me anymore lmao</p><p>Thoughts on how they gonna behave at work?</p><p>Anyway, please, leave like or comment to express your opinion on the chapter and encourage me to continue, post frequently. I always appreciate your feedback and support. Much love!❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. So bad</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>I'm so bad, I'm so good that I'm so bad.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I guarantee I'll be the greatest thing you ever had</em>
  <br/>
  <em>'Cause you ain't never met nobody like me</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And you're not gonna fuck nobody else again...</em>
</p><p>I didn't plan to be so upset. It's not like you can choose but at least, you can prevent yourself from getting to the lowest point of this emotion by making the right choices. Well, for sure, I didn't hear about the right choices at all so now I just had to deal with whatever was put on my plate.</p><p>Marshall's "explanations" were enough to make me call Josh on my way home and meet up at his house to hang out. We figured out the situation from Friday night, he apologized, I apologized and we decided to move forward. It wasn't like that direction was particularly exciting but at least, he was open and ready to communicate without throwing me in the trash bin like somebody else.</p><p>Uh-huh, the hint is too obvious isn't it?</p><p>Hell, yeah, making it look like Marshall wasn't bothering me was a hard thing to do. His name was the only word on my mind at Josh's, then at my home, and before I was going to sleep. Monday was creeping up to me, forcing me to get ready to face him at work after this awful talk near Denaun's house, and I didn't know what the hell I was supposed to do.</p><p>Improvisation is the key, isn't it?</p><p>Grabbing my coffee in the morning, I caught a taxi. I guess, sitting and watching sunny May Detroit weather outside the window had never felt so cliche. Rolling over and over the same scenarios in your head how distant and careless I would've behaved, how cool I would've looked in my outfit, and how sorry he would've been for treating me that way. But we all knew that in reality, it would've been exactly the opposite, and unfortunately, that thought was nothing but disappointing.</p><p>I closed the car door of the taxi, thanking the driver and stopping in front of the studio building. It was warm and just a bit windy outside so it seemed like just one more excuse not to go in. My coffee had already gotten disgustingly cold but I made a sip to distract my mind from being so goddamn nervous. Yeah, here we go.</p><p>The studio hallway met me with the already familiar distant glance of Camilla, Marshall's secretary. We never had a chance to get along and I always felt like she didn't want to. This time her eyes were especially judging as if she knew I spent the night with Marshall and then was unmercifully rejected. So, when I heard the voices of two of my favorite people, I instantly felt relieved, getting my glance away from Camilla and making my way to them.</p><p>'Now you think that if you have a girl, you're the smartest one here. The only one thing you don't realize that she chose you out of pity' Royce snorted sarcastically, making a mindless gesture as he and Denaun were sitting on the sofas not far from Camilla's desk. From what I'd seen, it must have been one of those extremely important arguments they were so used to so all I had to do was coming closer and suppressing a smile at it. Hoping Marshall not being somewhere around...</p><p>'Out of pity? What the fuck?' Denaun put his hands on his chest in a resentful way, raising his eyebrows at Royce in a threatening challenge. Yep, one of those arguments for real.</p><p>'Yeah, she probably just wanted a child to look after and you are the perfect candidate. You whine all the time, eat, sleep a lot, and need swaddling. Not to mention that you never shut up' Royce rolled his eyes annoyed by the conversation, and I let out a little quiet laugh. They just couldn't be serious, could they?</p><p>'Swaddling? You went too far this time, I'll fucking show you, prick!' Denaun got up from his place, trying to shove Royce in a comical clumsy way, making me announce my presence finally before it could've grown in a fight. Some part of me hated to interrupt this little scene but another preferred choosing rationality. With them, you never knew.</p><p>'Hey, hey, stop, what's happening here?' I asked with a small chuckle, coming closer to the sofas they were sitting on. Denaun and Royce froze at their spots, looking at me in confusion like two marble statues with weird grimaces.</p><p>'Ella! How are you? We've been worrying about you after tomorrow. You didn't call'.</p><p>Denaun bubbled in a furiously fast way, coming back to where he was sitting and throwing another menacing glance at Royce. A genuine concern coming from his lips had often felt just a little bit funny and extremely, extremely cute. So, I couldn't hold back another smile at it.</p><p>'I've been just convincing Royce to go out with Camilla, our secretary. He's alone and as you know, I can't spend this much time with his ass anymore' Porter pronounced smugly, clearly very satisfied that having a girl should've given him some kind of advantage over Royce. Oh, silly, adorably silly.</p><p>'I don't need to look for anyone. Besides, we all know here that Camilla is head over heels with Marshall' Royce brushed away the topic with an annoyed nod, and let Denaun know that he didn't want to continue the conversation. However, this comment about Camilla liking Marshall caught my attention. I must have heard something like that before but not quite as seriously.</p><p>'She likes Marshall?' I inquired carefully, not being able to hold back my interest. Of course, everything connected to him was twice as interesting to me as anything else. How unluckily.</p><p>'Yeah, she's never been friendly to anyone in this building except for him' Denaun answered simply, making a knowing, expert-like expression. Well?</p><p>'That's interesting' I mumbled quietly, sending my glance to Camilla's desk where she was typing something on the computer. It was such a weird feeling to know that someone could've secretly liked the man you were so charmed by. I guess it was close to looking in the mirror. But now, when my and Marshall's situation was supposed to be forgotten, it felt like Camilla was in a way better position.</p><p>After all, for her, nothing had happened.</p><p>Yet?</p><p>'Anyway, you still didn't explain why you didn't call yesterday.'</p><p>Royce disturbed my train of thought, making me look away from Camilla and shake my head as if trying to get rid of some kind of illusion. Whatever was going on with women in Marshall's life and who could've liked him anywhere in this city shouldn't have been my business anymore. He was more than clear with his intentions so I had no choice but to accept it.</p><p>'Well, I was at Josh's for a long time and went home late. Honestly, just didn't feel like calling. I'm sorry' I uttered truthfully, having no urge to think of any excuse that morning. Yeah, sometimes you just don't feel like talking to someone. Especially, when you are humiliated by the man you actually liked. But oh well, by now I'm already repeating myself.</p><p>'Wait, so you went to Josh's for real?' Denaun furrowed his eyebrows at me in genuine confusion, making me send him a weird glance. For whatever reason, my words were surprising to him.</p><p>'Yes, I did, what's wrong about that?' I cocked my eyebrow at him questionably, searching for any kind of support from Royce but he seemed to be just as confused as Denaun.</p><p>'We thought you were bluffing about that' Denaun let out an awkward smile in response, scratching the back of his head with a worried glance. I had to make a disbelieving chortle:</p><p>'Why would I bluff about it?'</p><p>'Because you don't have to take Marshall's words quite as literally. He's just stupid and scared. Believe me, girl, he likes you' Royce answered calmly, looking at me with a soothing warm expression. I wouldn't have lied saying that I really wanted to trust him but to be honest, it didn't feel that way. And I didn't want to feel naive, developing some fantastic love illusions.</p><p>'I don't think so, Nickle' I sighed heavily, hiding my glance from both of them and catching Camilla's eyes at the desk observing me from the distance. I wasn't sure if she could hear what we were talking about but still, it was unpleasant to notice. 'I'm pretty sure you heard everything he said to me yesterday and I'm not gonna be the one hoping for him to change his mind somehow. You do know I don't have much time left working here anyway so it doesn't make sense to even talk about it.'</p><p>'No, Ella, please, don't rush to the conclusions!' Denaun stood up from his place abruptly, talking passionately as if his life and well-being depended on convincing me. Oh wow. He took my hand in his carefully to continue:</p><p>'You'll see, he'll change his mind soon. Yesterday when you said you were going to Josh's, he was big mad about it!' he widened his eyes as if emphasizing how exactly "big mad" Marshall was at that moment. 'Just a few moments of jealously and he'll be crawling back to you, begging to be with him. I'm sure he's already regretting what he did yesterday. I can guarantee today you'll see the change!'</p><p>Denaun's whole speech was genuine and emotional, partially even to the point of being just a little bit funny. His words made some sense and I caught myself on a thought that maybe, being his friends, Denaun and Royce knew a lot more than I did. Maybe, they'd noticed something Marshall didn't want to show me and they were right? Oh, how tempting and risky it was to think that way. Sending my glance at Royce and seeing a reassuring smile and a small nod, I let myself another hesitation. Perhaps, meeting Marshall that day I could've said more?</p><p>If not universe was that good at eavesdropping...</p><p>'Morning, Camilla'.</p><p>Some voices in this world just don't need an introduction. They just don't. Those are voices that you recognize from the first note and from the first second of hearing it, you already know how far from you is the owner and how many heartbeats your heart missed. It wasn't like I didn't expect to see Marshall but I just wasn't prepared. After the scene near Denaun's house, I never wanted to look him in the eye again but of course, the first thing I did was turning my head to meet Marshall's glance.</p><p>'What the fuck?!'</p><p>I think Denaun exclaiming this question loudly was not enough to express the astonishment I felt as I turned my head in Marshall's direction. From all of the things on the world, after Denaun's reassuring speech, I couldn't imagine the picture I had to face in the hallway of the studio that morning. My heart fluttered in my chest as I could almost feel Denaun's dropped to the floor jaw and Royce's judgmental features.</p><p>Yep, that minute, entering the studio, Marshall wasn't alone at all.</p><p>His blue clear eyes caught mine for a short breathtaking moment, letting me see the arrogant spark in them, basically cutting me in half. He looked just as good as always in his simple outfit: dark jeans, tightly hugging long-sleeve, and a sports jacket on buttons. Sharp indifferent features and almost bored expression were his details as one of Marshall's hands was in his pocket mindlessly. While another one was comfortably wrapped around the slim, graceful waist of the gorgeous, fucking gorgeous <em>girl</em> beside him. Uh-huh...</p><p>It all felt like a shitty slow-motion movie scene as she wore a red tight sundress and clear transparent heels, looking like a model on a runway with her long straight hair, catty eyes, and full lips. She wasn't looking like a groupie, no, she was just beautiful. And oh how badly I wished she at least looked slutty.</p><p>'I had no idea he's that stupid.'</p><p>I heard Royce's quiet voice commenting on the scene somewhere behind my back. I wish I had something else to say too but a lump in my throat was somehow impossible to swallow and I just felt numb and helpless in front of that bright image. Oh yeah, sure, that was how it should've been.</p><p>He used me and then when to another girl he, perhaps, didn't even like that much. I should've known better. Oh, God, Ella, you should've known better!</p><p>'Camilla, did anybody call?' Marshall continued talking to the secretary in a neutral low tone, still ignoring our presence and holding the girl at his side close to him. The model-like girl seemed to be very engaged in his persona and was catching every word he was saying. God, if that was the accurate representation of how his other side was like then I wasn't sure I wanted to be a witness of it.</p><p>'Nothing urgent, Mr. Mathers' Camilla answered in a formal polite voice, raising her glance at him obediently. I wanted to run away.</p><p>'Okay, then, don't disturb me for another hour or so.'</p><p>I guess that was the last drop for me, a goddamn nail in the coffin of his appearance. He knew I was listening, he knew I was feeling like shit at that moment, and still, he decided to make that spectacle. No, there couldn't be anything else, it just couldn't be. It was the biggest proof that he didn't give a fuck and I didn't want to hear Denaun and Royce's speeches anymore. It was all officially and irreversibly over.</p><p>'Morning' Marshall uttered casually, turning his head to us as if it was an obligation he had no time fulfill. At that moment, I felt so small and insignificant as if I didn't even work there. As if I just entered the studio without invitation and he was wondering what the hell I was doing there. His glance was brazen and careless as the girl beside him ran her hand along his chest, murmuring something in his ear. No way...</p><p>'Marshall!' Denaun's woken from a numb state voice exclaimed severely as he apparently was trying to tell off Marshall. I didn't even have time to say "please, don't" as my nightmare and his arm candy made their way to Marshall's office without even waiting for a response:</p><p>'Later, Porter'.</p><p>It seemed like the whole world crushed on me. Damn, if that was supposed to be the reality, I wanted to come back to the dream I had on Saturday morning. He just couldn't do me like that, it wasn't the man I knew. Or was it actually the man I didn't know? After all, why did I have an impression I knew who he was?</p><p>'Ella... Please...' Denaun spoke to me with the sympathetic expression, lips tightened apologetically. I knew he wanted only the best for me, I knew he obviously couldn't expect Marshall to do me that way. But I just felt such a heavy, breathless feeling inside my chest that I didn't find any power in me to answer something else than this:</p><p>'It's okay, guys, doesn't matter.'</p><p>I saw both of their sad and sorry faces as I just went straight to my office. I couldn't cope with it in front of Denaun and Royce, I just needed a bit of time to myself to handle my emotions.</p><p>I didn't cry. I just closed the door and leaned on it as if looking for support, sighing to myself in a painful defeat. There wasn't much to say about all of it. It just hurt. It hurt way too much for a one-night stand, for a person I knew for such a short period of time. It felt surreal and movie-like but it was real and I had to get over it, didn't I?</p><p>It was fair to say that partially, it was my fault too. Somewhere deep inside I was scared of this scenario and I knew it would've happened. It's just things like that are usually perfectly predicted, you just suddenly imagine that you are the exception to the rule in one emotional moment. <em>But you're not.</em></p><p>When he said that he couldn't stop, I should've been the one who would've.</p><p>To think about it for too long was a wrong idea so I just got to my place and made all the possible attempts to work. I already had a lot of material ready and something in me just wanted to call Jeff and say that maybe, for articles it's enough. That my work here was done and I didn't have to stay in the studio building anymore. But I knew we had a contract of the deal with the exact amount of time I had to spend near Eminem, and I didn't want to cause any trouble to my boss.</p><p>Be professional, Ella, just be professional!</p><p>Didn't I already sleep with the main character of the articles, though?</p><p>But before I could've told my inner voices to fuck off, my phone ringed, revealing Paul's name on the screen. I didn't have a chance to see him that day so must have said I had a bad feeling about his call. Not because of Paul personally, but mostly because of the consequences it could've brought.</p><p>Well, as it turned out, I wasn't wrong.</p><p>'Hey, Ella, hi. Are you at the studio today?'</p><p>Paul greeted me in his usual formal tone with a slight note of warmness to it as if softening the impression. Some part of me wanted to answer that I didn't come to the studio that day but surely, it was foolish. So, I had to close my eyes in the hope of a better and answer:</p><p>'Hi, yeah, I'm at my office. What's the matter?'</p><p>Let it be something not connected to Marshall. Please, let it be something else.</p><p>'I wanted to ask you to come to my office in 10 minutes or so' he continued somehow slowly or maybe, that was how I imagined it to be.</p><p>'And please, get Marshall with you. I wanted to talk to both of you but he doesn't answer his phone.'</p><p>Fucking hell...</p><p>'Is it necessary for me to go with him? Can't we talk separately?' I almost begged in a thin voice, pleading Lord to avoid this meeting at least for today. I knew that I still had to follow Marshall's life for the rest of the contract but I wasn't ready to do that right after the scene in the hallway. Not fucking yet.</p><p>'Is there a problem?' Paul asked suspiciously and I already knew I had to give in. There was no way I could've told him what happened. It would've been crazy.</p><p>'No, no problem' I sighed, giving up and suppressing a growl of frustration. I should've just stayed home!</p><p>'Perfect. Then I'm waiting for both of you in 10, maximum 15 minutes.'</p><p>Paul hanged up straight away, leaving me with my head on my desk, sighing for God only knew what time that day. Things never work the way you want them to, do they? Cause if they did, Paul wouldn't have called me to go to his office with Marshall. It felt like a bad dream I was having and I honestly wanted to wake up as soon as possible.</p><p>But till then I had to go on participating in whatever circus destiny was preparing for me so I got up from my place, fixed my lipstick, and decided to stop whining on all of it. That day I had an open back black long-sleeve top and some dark jeans to match them. My hair needed to be fixed a little so I took a brush and did my best.</p><p>Okay, Mr. Mathers, I have my fucking pride too.</p><p>I made my way through the hallway, greeting a few studio workers on my way. Marshall's office wasn't that far away in the building but I made my step slow and hesitant to postpone the moment I had to face him. But surely, I got there way faster than I wanted to and stopped at his door, gathering myself to knock on it.</p><p>My first attempt was weak and to speak truthfully, done just to be done. Somewhere deep inside I was hoping he just wouldn't have been there and I would've told Paul that we could talk about everything the next day. But I didn't allow myself to cheat. Making a few knocks again and receiving no answer, I pushed the doorknob to open the door and froze on my spot stunned by the picture.</p><p>Thank God <em>they</em> couldn't have seen me straight away cause I would've died of embarrassment on the very exact spot that I was standing. Right at Marshall's desk, partially laying on top of it, was the girl in a red dress or I should've said without it already?</p><p>Marshall was hovering right above her, lips making their way along the toned line of the girl's stomach, making her arch her back in pleasure, diving her fingers in a short hair on his scalp. All the kisses and licks he was leaving were nothing but eager and rushed, here and there driven by the good old lust, not even bothering about her responses. His hands were holding her in place by the hips and torturing her lacy lingerie almost mindlessly as if it wasn't a big deal. As if it was the gestures he could've repeated millions of times without thinking.</p><p>And when Marshall's lips finally reached her navel, his glance suddenly went up for a moment without even changing the position of his head, and the blue misted eyes instantly met mine.</p><p>Oh no...</p><p>I can't even say what emotion I saw in his glance that minute. God, right there, hovering above the navel of some girl he took to the studio two days after calling me "baby", two days after making out with me on the kitchen table. Two days after saying he was losing his mind because of me and taking my stockings off as if I was the most precious woman in the world and he wanted me like no one else at that moment. He was shamelessly kissing the body of that girl and catching my glance in the middle of his office.</p><p>
  <em>I'm so bad...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm so good that I'm so bad...</em>
</p><p>'My apologies for interrupting.'</p><p>I shook my thoughts in my head to distract myself, pronouncing the words as if they were literally stuck in my throat, unable to swallow the astonishment. Marshall immediately stood up, causing the girl to get uncomfortable in her position, the colors of mixed emotions brightly prominent on his features. Blue eyes clearly uncertain about my sudden appearance as I couldn't compose myself enough, giving out the nervousness, resentment, and even jealousy in my expression.</p><p>That scene was too much for me to handle that goddamn Monday so I just turned away and went out the door, letting him know that I was waiting to speak. Whatever feeling Marshall got from all of it, he visibly was just as surprised as I was.</p><p>But should've I even cared? It was so embarrassing, oh God...</p><p>The hurt came to my chest as I appeared in the hallway, it was a fucking madness. A classic scenario where he didn't care and I cared too much, and now I had to deal with things like that. Just seeing him about to fuck another woman, just about to cry out of desperation in that damn studio hallway. The anger started to build up in me and my hand asking me to use it for a hard and dramatic slap. I hated that day, I hated him and I hated my goddamn work. I didn't want to become a witness of any of that and especially, I didn't want him to make me feel that way.</p><p>I didn't know how many minutes or seconds I waited, but I immediately lost all my words or emotions when he came out of the office.</p><p>'What happened?'</p><p>I heard his low velvet tone talking calmly with a slight hesitant note as his glance found mine in the empty hallway. Marshall's expression was indifferent and neutral and I might have imagined it but it felt like something uncomfortable sparked in his pupils for a moment. As if he knew it was way too soon. It was way too much. It was way too brazen.</p><p>'Paul wants to see both of us in the conference room in ten minutes' I answered in a formal, unfamiliar tone, cold in its essence. I hid my eyes from his, feeling that it was hard for me to handle.</p><p>'I can go there alone since you're so <em>busy</em>.'</p><p>I couldn't hold back a sarcastic remark, letting my voice sound just a little bit poisonous. I knew it was revealing my feelings, I knew it was too obvious that I cared. But damn, I couldn't act just as well as he did.</p><p>'No, I go, wait a minute' was all he answered in the same way as he greeted me and disappeared behind the door of his office. I didn't dare to look him in the eye, feeling stupid as if I was the guilty one, and made a few deep breathes before he came back again.</p><p>'Let's go.'</p><p>I don't even have to say that it was the most awkward walk on Earth. I was going slightly behind him, cursing under my breath with every step we were taking and feeling the silence between us laying heavily on my shoulders. The conference room was on the third floor so we had to take an elevator.</p><p>Marshall stepped in the first, leaning with his back on the center wall of the elevator, sneaking glances at me here and there despite the visual carelessness. I followed him and having no urge to meet his eyes, choose the standing position with my back to him. Preparing myself for the long silent ride, I reached my hand to press the button but was interrupted by the unfamiliar voices on the floor.</p><p>'Hold up, hold up! Wait for us, please!'</p><p>Some large group of workers that was apparently way too busy to wait for the next elevator, rushed to the doors and greeting Marshall with the "Hey, Mr. Mathers" and "What's up", let themselves in. Marshall greeted them back without much enthusiasm and as they all stepped into the elevator, their presence forced me to back up to free the space.</p><p>of course, it all would've been just a usual elevator scene. If one of the workers hadn't pushed me accidentally right at Marshall's figure behind my back.</p><p>'Damn!'</p><p>'Sorry, Ms!'</p><p>These were the two words exchange between me and the worker as he turned away again, and I became fully aware of the two hands on my waist, supporting me from falling.</p><p>What...</p><p>My open back appeared plastered to Marshall's chest. One of his hands landed on my hip, the gentle touching of his thumb traced my spine, sending a shiver to the exposed skin. I instantly recognized his scent and felt the already familiar hot breath on my neck as his other hand was placed on my waist firmly. I raised my glance still a little numb from the unexpected scene and looked over my shoulder to meet his eyes already looking at me. Hell... What was even happening?</p><p>I didn't have answers. All I knew that his lips were at the level of my ear and his body was tightly pressed to mine. There was no space in front of us thanks to the workers so standing like didn't even look suspicious from the side. But no one was actually looking. Everything felt logical as fuck as he just politely caught me from falling and my breath caught in the middle of my throat. Nothing should've been unusual about it.</p><p>But he wasn't in a rush to let me go.</p><p>I could feel his touch as brightly as it was even possible. The images from the Friday night popping in my head as the elevator was moving eternally long or maybe, it was what I thought of. I turned away not to feel so ashamed and with the sound of Marshall's quickened breath near my ear, I knew he was thinking about the same thing. He remembered it all just like I did, and I suppressed an urge to reach my hand to his cheek to bring him closer.</p><p>The elevator clicked, announcing the second floor, and I thanked God that nobody went out. I needed him so close at least for one more floor. The tender touch of his fingers on my bareback. At least, for a couple of uncountable seconds.</p><p>And yes, it was just a moment. A moment when I let myself forget that just ten minutes prior to it I'd seen him in his office with another woman. The elevator clicked again on the third floor, and I tried to make a move to get out of his grip but it made no difference. The workers left the elevator, completely forgetting about the two of us and I had to ignore the heat coming from his body, whispering:</p><p>'Thanks for the help but let me go'.</p><p>The attempt was weak but cold in the empty elevator, and I felt his hands leaving me slowly as if he woke up from the dream. I instantly heard him muttering, no, almost stuttering in response:</p><p>'Sorry...'</p><p>I went out of the elevator still not fully aware of my senses as my heart was beating painfully fast, the blush coloring my cheeks at the thought of our closeness. His eyes on my back adding to the nervousness from the situation.</p><p>I had no idea how I was supposed to talk to Paul after that but I knew I had to focus. It was just a fucking accident which meant nothing...</p><p>...but he didn't want to let me go?</p><p>I mean, still nothing!</p><p>'Here you go. Why so long?'</p><p>Paul asked with slight confusion, cocking an eyebrow at us at his place in the head of the table as we stood like two culprits in front of the judge or two naughty children in front of their mom. It's crazy how similar was the feeling to both cases.</p><p>'Someone's been a little bit busy' I snorted sarcastically, finally collecting myself from the situation in the elevator and throwing a look at Marshall who furrowed his eyebrows displeased at my statement. Oh yeah, he didn't want me to tell everything to mom.</p><p>'Whatever' Marshall let out in a hoarse voice, turning into his "I don't give a fuck" mood once again. Oh God, the moment of closeness somehow seemed like something unreal now as if I made it up by mistake. 'What are we doing here? And the conference room, seriously?' Marshall asked in a grouchy way, choosing attack as the best defense.</p><p>'What is this? A concilium?'</p><p>I had to suppress a chuckle at Marshall's annoyed expression, forgetting for a moment what we were doing there. It really felt way too serious for a regular conversation.</p><p>'Shut up, Marshall. I just have a meeting here soon. I didn't know it would be such a problem for you' Paul answered irritatingly, putting on his formal facial expression.</p><p>'I wanted to talk about two of you'.</p><p>He added simply, making my heart sank in my chest. Wait, what? Paul knew?</p><p>'Two of us?' I repeated the question dumbly, having an urge to share a glance with Marshall but forcing myself not to do that. After all, we weren't sidekicks in this, now we were nobody to each other.</p><p>'Yes, I heard something is going on between you and some conflict took place on the battle event on Friday night. Besides, Royce and Porter say they are concerned about your relationship'.</p><p>Uh, of course, Royce and Denaun. Who else could've helped us?</p><p>'I don't remember any conflict at the battle event'.</p><p>Marshall grinned wryly, for some reason finding it extremely amusing. I felt something unpleasant in my chest at the anticipation of all of it.</p><p>'Oh yeah, breaking a nose of some guy doesn't seem like a conflict at all' Paul uttered in a voice full of sarcasm, probably trying to suppress an eye roll. No wonder.</p><p>'You can ask Trick-Trick how it went. That motherfucker got what he deserved' Marshall added way more seriously this time, wakening some live images in my head from that evening. Some part of me wished to come back to it just to feel his passion for me once more. But it seemed to be a one-time thing.</p><p>'Ella? What happened for real?' Paul turned his head to me as if I was the older and more responsible child than Marshall, and I felt Marshall's intense glance at my face. Fuck, what a day, why did I have to take part in all of it?</p><p>'Nothing horrible' I sighed weakly, feeling that my daily supply of sighs was already used and meeting Paul's attentive eyes. I already knew, though, what I was about to say.</p><p>'That guy was very disrespectful towards me and Marshall was <em>defending</em> me. I really believe that the punch was the only way to shut him up, I started to feel unsafe'.</p><p>I pronounced it all in one breath, all the way feeling Marshall not taking his eyes off me. Maybe, he was waiting for me to playing an act of revenge and telling Paul what an asshole Marshall was or whatever. But why would I lie? Not to mention that I was never the one to retaliate.</p><p>'Well, if you say so' Paul furrowed his eyebrows as if expecting completely different answer. I felt something in my body trembling at that thrilling moment.</p><p>'What about what happened next? Was there any conflict? Why Porter and Royce say that it's uneasy between the two of you and you need help to figure it out?'</p><p>I think I was ready to kill my two favorite dorks that exact minute even though I never tended to be cruel. Thanks to them I was in the most uncomfortable situation ever standing in the conference room in front of Paul next to Marshall and trying to figure out what I had to lie about. What did I have to say? That we slept together? That he left in the morning and said it was a one-night-stand? That he brought some girl for a hookup while, no matter how silly it sounded, it was actually...</p><p>It was actually <em>breaking my heart</em>?</p><p>'I...' Marshall started some phrase to answer, as usual having something sharp to say or a simple "fuck off" but those questions in my head and the vivid image of being alone in my bed that Saturday morning suddenly made me sad. Sad to the point of breaking my silence and interrupting him confidently.</p><p>'There was no conflict between the two of us' I said confidently, holding the shaking of my voice for better times. 'Actually, Marshall made sure I was safe that evening, leaving some security near my apartment before <em>going home' </em>I swallowed bitterly, feeling the lie rolling off my tongue unexpectedly easy and catching the surprise on Marshall's features with my side vision.</p><p>'There is nothing wrong between the two of us, we are fine. I don't see why we are even having this conversation honestly. I do my job, Marshall helps as it's written in the contract. As far as I remember, there is no obligation for <em>us to be friends.'</em></p><p>I hated the cold intonation in my tone as I uttered it. I hated the fact that the last sentence sounded not as indifferent as I wanted it to be. I just hated the fact that all I wanted to do was being in the arms of the man that didn't care about me. I made a fool of myself, defending him like that. I played it dirty only for myself cause that's what my pride told me. Marshall didn't deserve that sacrifice.</p><p>'Paul, if everything is clear, may I go already?' I inquired after a small pause as Paul was taken aback by my speech and wasn't in a rush to respond. The conference room and Marshall's eyes, Marshall's presence seemed to be too unbearable and I wasn't sure I could hold myself together any longer.</p><p>'Sure...'</p><p>This answer and a hesitant nod were all I needed to rush out of the room, trying to ignore the sound of my shoes clicking on the floor and stopping near the elevator. I pressed the button, closing my eyes begging for it to come faster and for me to be alone in it. Just to escape from that day, that awful dirty feeling of being used and <em>him</em>! To escape Marshall and finally...</p><p><em>'</em>Ella, wait!'</p><p>Of course, it was his voice. If all of it wasn't enough, he must have followed me. How the fuck was it possible at all?</p><p>'What the hell do you want from me?' I growled tiredly, turning my head to meet his <em>worried </em>and unsure glance, softened expression. Absolutely opposite to the one I'd seen before that day, so much like that Friday night.</p><p>Damn...</p><p>'Why did you lie? You didn't have to defend me' he stopped not far away from me, looking for my glance near the elevator that wasn't in a rush to come to our floor. Something like disbelief, something like a weak regretful spark was in his blue eyes that made me want to just say "fuck it" and reach to him for a comforting hug or gesture. Even if it looked ridiculous in that situation, even if he rejected me.</p><p>'What did you want me to say?' I chuckled softly, meaning no fun and feeling it being the result of my tiredness.</p><p>
  <em>'That I let you sleep with me and make me feel like a whore?'</em>
</p><p>I asked quietly, harmlessly, almost childishly, looking into his eyes with no anger but just a heavy, very heavy feeling in my chest. I might have felt like crying but I would have never let myself and never forgave it. I never felt strong enough but for some reason, I always tried to look like that. Huh?</p><p>'Ella, fuck, I'm...' Marshall's tone became soft, gentle, and almost scared to say something wrong as I felt his hand grabbing my arm and his eyes sparkling apologetically. It was all I wanted him to do, it was all I waited for but damn, it just was so unfair. He was so fucking unfair to me and that girl in his office...</p><p>'No, no, no, don't touch me' I took my arm away from him immediately before his touch could've made me regret my decision. My voice became sharp and harsh. Or at least, close to that.</p><p>'Someone is waiting for you at the office, don't make the poor girl wait.'</p><p>I told Marshall's right in his eyes, holding his glance for longer than I thought I was able and thanking God for the elevator arriving finally. Not waiting for a response, I stepped into the elevator, marking the end of the conversation.</p><p>'I hope you don't mind waiting for another one.'</p><p>I pressed the button for the elevator doors to close and saw his sharp features and sculptured jaw, blue eyes, and short haircut, toned figure and the memory was of his closeness in that elevator ran through my skin. Slowly but surely the doors were closing, leaving less and less of his posture until he finally disappeared, watching me with a frustrated expression. And it all would've been completely fine if I didn't lean on the wall of the elevator and remembered his touch again.</p><p>Damn, he was <em>so bad</em> for me. So bad that I'd never wished for someone to win me over and make me his <em>again</em>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey, how do you like this one?👀 Due to some health problems, I can't write a lot and the process is slow. I'm here, though, and want to keep updating within my powers. Did you like the chapter?</p><p>Thoughts on Marshall's random girl and what's next?</p><p>Anyway, please, leave a like or comment to express your opinion on the chapter and encourage me to continue, post frequently. Thanks a lot for your support. Much love!❤️</p><p>P. S. Check out my other Eminem fics cause I have a lot lol.</p>
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